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 seasinblue
Joined: 7/2/2010
Msg: 1
responses to female sent emailsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am curious to hear from other females (gentlemen too, of course). Many threads on here are from gentleman not getting replies from their emails.

So ladies, how many emails do you send and not get replies from the men?

I send emails and rarely get replies. I also don't get that many emails from men either. I email men from 32-43 age range - and no they all aren't God's gift. Also find the "smart" guys borderline sociopathic - not all, but most. So, I have to say for the gentleman that have had issues with the "smart" women, I can sympathize. By the way, there have been studies that reveal the higher cognitive ability of the animal, the more they are predisposed to personality pathology and anti-social behaviours. Makes us feel better doesn't it!

I am wondering just what people are experiencing on here. It's free, so you get what you pay for, but still, happy customers? I find the pay sites far worse. I think if people are paying for their date they won't settle for anyone short of Brad Pitt or Mila Kunis - you get my point.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:26:22 AM
I always reply to any email I get (as long as it isn't attacking me! LOL). I just don't get very many - probably because I'm pretty clear about not seeking a relationship.

When I was dating, though, I still replied to anyone who wrote, even if not interested. However, only a fraction of anyone I contacted first ever replied. That's just the way it is, and didn't bother me.
 kjkatie26
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 3
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:30:53 AM
I usually get a reply, but i more than often wait for the initial email from a male, and then choose to reply or not. I guess I am traditional in that way
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 4
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:31:00 AM
There have been studies that showed people seeing big foot before Christmas needs to get their head candled, I dont hold much stock into studies to be honest.

Look, the reality of online dating is , extremely attractive folks, scantily dressed folks receives a lot of emails , followed by good looking people , followed by witty profile, every one on here has experienced sending out emails and not receiving emails back, its the nature of the beast so to speak.

They say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sometimes Beer Holder, some folks do not take great pics but you see them in real life and they blow you away, and some folks take great pics and you see them in real life and its WTF and you want to do the Run Forest Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

As in for the " smart" folks bordering sociopath? I dont find that personally
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 5
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:46:36 AM
(I)Also find the "smart" guys borderline sociopathic - not all, but most. So, I have to say for the gentleman that have had issues with the "smart" women, I can sympathize.

From 30 years experience with "smart" people in Mensa and elsewhere, no more sociopaths than anywhere else.. Sometimes people attract what they fear, or at least what they focus on.. Some call that "Confirmation Bias"...

Sorry you don't get many replies, but understand that those tall smart men you email do have many choices... IF you wish to get more response, become more approachable and exude more wholesome sensuality and less contrived edginess/goth...
Remember that PROXIMITY is still the most common factor in establishing relationships.
Common interests are what may hold them together for the longer term...
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 6
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:54:16 AM
I don't see the correlation between intelligence and sociopathy either. Smart folks are certainly odd and probably crazy but that is what makes them interesting. If someone isn't a least a little bit nuts, I wouldn't bother talking to them. I would rather be napping.

I have to say that I find it gratifying to hear from women that some guys don't respond to emails. That reinforces the point that some people are just rude.

There is an attractive pianist in my town who I have written to a few times and she always answers a few days later with one or two word responses that I cannot quite interpret. I told her I couldn't read her and would simply assume that she wasn't interested in going out for coffees with me unless I heard otherwise. She responded, some time later, with "everything's cool"

At this point, I figure she must be using a BlackBerry or something because these message-ettes are annoying the hell out of me. In some cases, maybe no response is better than easily texted ones?

Then again, I should probably be a little more understanding since I do have the freedom to spend all day in here writing nonsense. Most people have busy lives and have to try and make the best use of their time.

I think the subject line is the most important one of all. That's the one that you want to stand out from all the other "Hello"s and "Yo s'up"s. For example, with the woman I mentioned I above, I sent her a message titled "Chopin was a woman!" My message had nothing to do with Chopin, it was just a cheeky way to make my email stand out from the crowd.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 7
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:55:35 AM
@ OP. I respond to all. Granted, not all, if any, are what I'm looking for. Who cares? It's fun meeting folks. And, it's nice for a 53 yr old young old phart to get noticed. I love to debate and BS with people. A good e-mail stream can last days. Just be careful not to get caught in the e-mail succubus. The sooner you meet the better. If you really got the HOTS. If not just BS w/ them. I'm very selective about what is outgoing. Less than 10 a month. There's a lot on here to sift through. My responses are minimal. That's fine. At my age the field gets very narrow.
What really is a crack up is people that get hundreds daily and complain about it. Why are they even fishing? Ego probably.
I remember one AM my daughter came running into my bedroom, "Dad, you've got 47 messages" she exclaimed. "Cool". "Who from" , I asked. She responds," all the same person". OH. On that note ; GOOD LUCK.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 8
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:03:09 AM
i have gotten the most replies when my profile has humor in it. i can't stand profiles with guys who have shirts off standing in a provocative pose. there are a few who can pull it off, but if you are over 40 and you are posing half nude...please spare us all! i am starting to be more assertive, but really online dating sucks, and dont ever pay for it as it really is a rip off!
 carptopus
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 9
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:05:47 AM

I send emails and rarely get replies.

Could be for all sorts of reasons.
Like they are in the middle of dating someone else, or they haven't signed onto this website for 2 years, but still came up in a search.


I also don't get that many emails from men either.

I'll bet you got a few the first couple of months you were on here.

This is the internet.
People don't come here with a long term goal.
They come here for immediate gratification.
Did you come on here and say "I'm going to start my profile with nothing but what is absolutely important to me. Then every year I am going to update it and put in one sentence or two about what has changed in my life, how I grew, what is more important to me now. Then I am going to wait until my allotted profile space is completely used up, go back over everything I wrote to get a more clear picture of who I am and where I am from, and then begin my search for someone."
Or was it "I am lonely. I want that to go away. I don't know where to go. Here's a free site, let's try this!"

If people were patient, they'd just go about their normal lives. No need to come online.
If it happens it happens, best to happen while doing something you enjoy, not sitting in front of a computer screen.

I suggest you delete your profile. Then make a brand new one. Really, you can simply use the exact same information. One thing I would change is your main pic. Take one today, or the day you start a new profile.
You will have a new picture thumb people won't recognize. And you will also be put on the "who's new" list. You will amazingly get tons of emails.

IMO best bet is to delete your profile every month or so, wait a month, then come back and make a new one with new pictures as necessary, if you want to generate a lot of emails.


I am wondering just what people are experiencing on here.

Themselves, only they think they are experiencing others.


It's free, so you get what you pay for, but still, happy customers?

I really don't understand why people believe dating sites actually offer anything.
I mean you could pretty much just as easily write a really detailed email, and then make up a bunch of user names to send it to, then just spam the internet. There really is no difference. Everything you think is different is really just an illusion.
If they sell anything it's a false sense of security.


I think if people are paying for their date they won't settle for anyone short of Brad Pitt or Mila Kunis

I think people that pay for dating sites are just paying people for a guarantee stamp on a box of false sense of security.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 10
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:13:52 AM
I generally reply, although when I get a one or two word note I respond with the same. The one exception is when someone's profile just gives me the willies.

OP, I would definitely reply to a note from you.
 mrtalkradio
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 11
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:27:40 AM
I thought I would chime in here in this discussion. I had a little learning curve to go through on the site with messages not being replied too. Of course at my age I am accustomed to human communication. We didn't have cell phones, text and instant messaging devices. Getting use to this new form of communication takes a bit to get used too. Once everybody, including myself, accepts the fact that no communication is communication everything will be much better.
 forum_moderator
Joined: 1/24/2003
Msg: 12
view profile
History
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:52:41 AM
For the uninformed, one replies to a statement and its merit. One does not address another by using any other name meant to belittle or disparage in any way shape or form. Any further flame baiting will result in post deletions and suspensions.

 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 13
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 10:34:04 AM

I am wondering just what people are experiencing on here. It's free, so you get what you pay for, but still, happy customers?

You would have to ask the advertisers as they are the real customers here.

...but as a user I would give it a 9 / 10.

Like anything it is what you make of it.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 14
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 11:06:44 AM
I dont keep track of how many replies I have recieved, but I can tell you I have sent out a lot of emails in my time and only gotten a few responses myself. People WILL reply if they are interested. The ones that dont reply, dont matter to me in any way, shape or form.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 15
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 2:12:01 PM
I find when I initiate emails to men, I get VERY little response, but if i reply, I do better...oftentimes even that can go poof at any second

so yes, I prefer to choose from men who have some sort of interest in me.

i also think many men have a "type"...if they like a latina looking brunette, what would they want w/ a blonde or a redhead, or green eyes or blue eyes...
 Jgores
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 16
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/13/2012 2:33:25 PM
I have a very good understanding of why many smart people, including myself, are "Borderline sociopathic". It's because of the fact that there are so many stupid people that piss us off on a daily basis. Even if it's not something they do to us directly, it still makes us mad. A good example is all the mental games women like to play. That has done a great deal of damage to my mental well being, lol.
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 17
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/14/2012 8:08:25 PM
It's been spotty for me, too, on here. I've been a member for some time now and I've only had about 5 dates off of here. Almost noone follows through on here in my experience. I've ended up chatting on the telephone with about 20 women, but no meeting, no date. As I get older, they don't seem to be interested at all anymore. So I guess I have to get used to staying alone for the rest of my life.
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 18
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 2:06:22 AM
Ladies, please stop lying. Everyone knows you don't search and write that first message. Everyone knows all you do is login and delete a million emails.
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 19
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 4:27:08 AM
Actually, women do initiate contact. A few have contacted me , but just poor follow-through.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 20
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 4:53:23 AM

I don't believe you have access to my inbox.


Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker:)

As childish as I may be, I thought this might be a good example of an inappropriate use of humour for a first contact message. That and I giggle every time a woman says "inbox".
 Mistybreeze201
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 21
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 10:38:31 AM
I send out way more messages then I get. Most of the ones I send get ignored. Their loss i guess, lol. But I always reply back to the ones i get. :)
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 22
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 10:47:58 AM
Once everybody, including myself, accepts the fact that no communication is communication everything will be much better.


LOL! I get the impression it is already so hard for guys to communicate in real life how can they do it online!

Javan... Maybe you should add more pictures of yourself. The one you have posted looks like a passport, or a DL photo!
 Thee_Stranger
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 23
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 7:30:18 PM
Yeah, it's pretty much the same on my end.

In my personal experience, I find that a lot of women on here -- at least in my area -- are kinda full of themselves. Even if they're not that smart and not stunningly attractive.

I reply to everything, but that can also bite you in the butt. Take it from me.
 veevee
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 24
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/15/2012 7:56:29 PM
Maybe 25% of messages I've sent out get no reply if I initiate.

I've only been back here for about 2.5 mos. I can guess I've sent out maybe 20 msgs and one person didn't respond - no wait 2. I sent someone a link to a funny drummer (drummer at wrong gig on youtube) that said they played drums and in another talked about soundtracks to a movie they might like because they said they liked Last of the Mohicans. The messages were probably too boring and I didn't ask them questions that they even needed to respond, really. I'm not sure they needed a response lol One I thought wasn't going to respond but about a week later they did - said they had been gaming hehe

Randomly saying stuff is a crap shoot - depends on the person's mood when they read it.

Oh I thought of one more that didn't respond - a guy that had all caps in his profile. I messaged him and another guy doing the same thing in the same night thinking they probably just haven't been told that it's akin to screaming online. One was like - don't look then, the other said nothing - both still had all caps last I saw. That tells me that only 0% of people give a crap about your advice to improve their profile if they didn't ask.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 25
responses to female sent emails
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:00:46 AM
Remember, OP,

Only a small portion of the fish in the pond are going to find any one person attractive. And a person really has little idea who is attracted to him/her just by reading profiles. The person who initiates, man or woman, can only guess, so only a minority of initial contact messages will be sent to someone who is interested in the sender.

It IS a numbers game, no matter how badly a lot of folks on here want to believe that it isn't.

veevee, it's a crapshoot no matter how you approach it.
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