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Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 1
"MA'AM"Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So today I went into a chain sandwich shop (jared goes there) & the young man ( i later found him to be 25 yrs old) says: "Hello ma'am, can I help you?" So I ordered my sandwich & asked him about his choice of ma'am VS Miss, & how old he was...he told me that he says "ma'am" to everyone & even apologized. I said i was not offended in the least, but very curious. Up until a few yrs. ago, i was called "miss"!

so if u r a female, do u get addressed ma'am or miss, etc.

so if u r a male, what would your criteria be for using ma'am or miss?
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 2
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Posted: 1/13/2012 3:22:09 PM
I hate Ma'am

hate. it.

Nothing will negate a woman faster than that word.

The only time I can stand it is from elderly people.. who rarely use it.
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 3
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Posted: 1/13/2012 3:30:01 PM
I prefer Ma'am over Missy.
"Look Here Missy!!" I was usually in trouble.
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 4
Posted: 1/13/2012 3:30:36 PM
I call every woman "ma'am" regardless of age... 18, 25, 67, 72, 34, whatever. I've done it regardless of my age and without concern for the age or marital status of the female I was addressing. I did this before I was in the military and I do it now. I addressed a young lady, perhaps 17 years old, as "ma'am" just this afternoon in fact.

My criteria? A woman I don't know on a personal, day-to-day, and/or social basis. In the context of your exchange at the sandwich shop, and had I been behind the counter and were I 16 or 75... you'd have been, and are now, a "ma'am."
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 5
Posted: 1/13/2012 3:59:22 PM
...I remember the first time I was called Ma' was by a young 20 something too...made me feel so damn old. :(

What's even sister (who's 10 years younger) and I decided we wanted to buy some lotto tickets. After frantically searching through her purse, my sister realizes she doesn't have her bank card with her so she asks if I would buy hers. I agreed. The cashier then turns to me and says, "so are you paying for your daughter's as well?"

I looked at my sister and said, "I think it's time for mumsie to look into botox"

Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 6
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Posted: 1/13/2012 4:02:35 PM
It is better than "hey you old lady"...............

OT.....I think the intent is what makes all the difference, and most of us can tell if we are being called what we hear others calling us by tone, age, attitude, and the mood we are in at that time.

Now, if they come over and grab your walker and say "let me help you Maam".......I say just kick them with that walker.......

Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 7
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Posted: 1/13/2012 4:13:55 PM
Ive used Ma'am and have been chatized for it by women.
Ive been called sir by younger peep's. I know the feeling it can give you that we ARE old now.
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 8
Posted: 1/13/2012 4:25:50 PM
Isn't it a sign of respect? Heck I know I earned being called Ma'am but then I live in the south and we always use manners, my bf is always telling me to stop saying please etc, he just doesn't get it. We add please to something not cause we are requesting something be done is optional but cause it sounds better but we still expect you to do it!
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 9
Posted: 1/13/2012 4:50:51 PM
I prefer being called Ms to Ma'am but either one beats 'Hey, you old broad!' As long as they speak politely to me, I'm okay with it. I sure didn't like being called Ma'am when I was younger though. At 61, what else are they going to call me??
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 10
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Posted: 1/13/2012 4:57:25 PM
It could be a cultural thing too, from what I read here. Depends where you are.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 11
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Posted: 1/13/2012 5:12:01 PM
the last little **stard to call me ma'am, i strangled with my pantyhose.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
Posted: 1/13/2012 5:38:34 PM
When I go to my son's in Illinois, my daughter-in-law consistently says ...

Yes Ma'am.

I'm not keen on it.
However I understand that it is a cultural thing.

Just like ...

I'm getting it ... "eh?"
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 13
Posted: 1/13/2012 5:52:22 PM
By the way... for the record, I also "sir" males without regard to age. I'm sure it throws the sackers at the grocery store for a loop, when they might be 16 or 18 or whatever, but I thank them and address them as "sir." I don't use such terms to be demeaning, but I do believe familiarity should be earned, not assumed. So until I feel I truly know someone on a personal level, it's "sir" or "ma'am," and that's that.
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 14
Posted: 1/13/2012 6:05:16 PM
As long as they don't call me "Hun" or "Honey " when they are wayyy younger than me! I hate it! in fact I will say something when they do.

At my age Ma'am sounds a good way to address me. imo "miss" is used for people lets say.. under 40?
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 15
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Posted: 1/13/2012 7:29:47 PM
I don't mind being called "ma'am" ... I don't even take offense when someone calls me "senora" ... but I really resent it when a pompous young adult, usually a bank manager or someone in a position like that, loudly shouts something like, "and what can we do for you, young lady!?" while grinning from ear to ear ...

I usually look around and behind me, thinking surely he cannot be addressing ME ... but he is ... sigh. how embarrassing ... what a dolt ... surely he knows that's insulting ...
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 16
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Posted: 1/13/2012 7:41:33 PM

so if u r a male, what would your criteria be for using ma'am or miss?

It's not chiseled in stone, but I go by this:

If the woman is around my age or older - ma'am.

If the woman is a lot younger than I am - miss.
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 17
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:51:48 PM
I address all ladies, of any age, whom I don't know, as 'M'am'. It's the Least Objectionable Greeting I've found. Ladies today are FAR more hypersensitive about terminology - which makes any attempt by a man to be polite that much more difficult. I really don't care HOW ladies want to be addressed - just give me the ONE magic, universally UN-offensive term on which you all agree, and I'll use it. Seriously, I will. The way the terminological sands keep shifting under my feet depending on which way the 'politically correct' winds are blowing, though, I'll stick with using 'Ma'm' because it's easier for ME to use. If my attempt to be polite causes feminine outrage, well, I'm big enough to live with whatever 'guilt' I'm supposed to feel as a result.

Oh. Men are automatically addressed as 'Sir' - no matter their age.
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 18
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:55:53 PM
Wow i had no idea that sayin to a woman MA'AM was a bad thing.. When i came to the US as a teenager i were told it was the proper way to talk and it stuck with me all those years. Besides its always safe as you dont always know if a woman is married or not and its safe..
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 19
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Posted: 1/13/2012 9:15:13 PM
I've always used "Ma'am". My grandfather raised me, said to always address a lady as "Ma'am" Been doing it ever since.
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 20
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Posted: 1/13/2012 9:46:35 PM
Mostly I don't use any title at all. I just say what I need to say. If a title is called for, I always use ma'am, regardless of age.

As to how I'm addressed, I only take mild offense when called "sweetie" or some other term of endearment by a cashier or waitress or some such. Sometimes I'm called sir or Mr. #########. It's all good.
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 21
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:57:47 PM
In l.a. ma'am = bytch
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 22
Posted: 1/13/2012 10:24:11 PM
Want to be called "Miss"? Shop at Trader Joe's (if you have one) or move to the Left Coast. Addressing everyone in that way is the epitome of pc here. But, please don't move to Socal.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 23
Posted: 1/13/2012 10:25:25 PM
It depends on which part of the country I am in. In California, women of any age were rarely called "ma'am" and it was always addressed to older women. (It has been over 13 years since I lived there, so it might have changed.)

In Missouri, it is a title of respect and people say it all the time. I use it only when I am trying to get the attention of a woman whom I don't know, i.e. "Ma'am, you left your purse in the bathroom!" Same with "sir," but I have never had to tell a man that he left his purse in the bathroom.

I do remember the first time someone called me "ma'am": it was a server in a restaurant and I was in my 20s. I was insulted.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
Posted: 1/13/2012 11:09:27 PM
OMG! I hate it....never do it!
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 25
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Posted: 1/14/2012 6:51:16 AM
If a title is called for, I always address any woman I don't know personally as "Ma'am", regardless of age. I've done so regularly with cashiers, waitresses and any woman who I happen to come across in my daily routine, and I think generally every one of them seems appreciative of the respect implied. Until the internet, I didn't even know that some people would take offense to being addressed that, which is really too bad. I guess it must be a regional thing.

Personally, I'd never address a woman "hun", "luv" or "sweetie" unless she is an endearing friend, or the girlfriend. And "Miss" just sounds a little pretentious, too "trying to be politically correct" to me. Guess I'm just old school that way.
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