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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Should A POF member approach you in public?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 2pleasure2live
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 1
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Should A POF member approach you in public?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
As am member of POF i read profiles and look at the beautiful women, but i do go out and sometimes spot some of these beautiful women in a group or by themselve .I have no intentions of stalking or making anybody feel uncomfortable I go out to have a good time, listen to some music and sip on a beverage .If a POF member notices a female POF member in public should he introduce himself? why or why not?
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:40:51 AM
I wouldn't do it as not everyone is comfortable being on a dating site. I would send a message via here if interested. Or approach them without mentioning POF - As I've done that IRL anyway. Yeah - I'm bolder then many :-)

I've only had one instance of someone I recognized being on POF - but it was the other way around - I know him IRL and he came up as a match. If he mentions it, no big deal, but I'll respect his privacy regarding it.

I don't know if anyone has recognized me IRL. If they have, they ran the other way without saying anything. LOL
 Lionessx
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 4
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:43:08 AM
One time I was in Wallaceburg with my niece in a department store and a member noticed me. My niece noticed him looking and looking. When I came home he sent me a message that he saw me in Wallaceburg.

I was thankful he did not approach me...
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 5
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:49:21 AM
I'd say hi especially if we had messaged back and forth... I mean the line between the internet and real life is already getting more blurred with facebook.

I'm starting to run into quite a few people I've met in real life, and sometimes it's awkward(ie if I've liked her for a long time...) and sometimes it's a customer.

I usually prefer not to let people know where I work before meeting once, but if they already know where I work and are cute/my type I sure hope they'd say hi and saw me on POF.

It would kind of suck to be on a date with a POF member and then have another member come up and interrupt....

One time I ended up having dinner with a new female I was seeing and then my ex who I'm friends with walked in and they started talking...
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 7
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:53:34 AM
As an experiment, pretend POF was completely out of the picture. Would you approach them?
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 8
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:53:36 AM
Ive been approached, was recognized from here.

I only have an issue with this when the person approaching doesnt have a photo up. I feel that is not fair! Like, 'I see you, but you cant see me'. Ill take note of thier profile name and 99 times out of 100 there is no pic, so I cannot validate I met the same person.

Just be forwarned-when two people log into here for the purpose of connecting, they are both in that head space. If you approach someone from pof and thier head is not into the dating scene in THAT particular moment, your spproach may not be welcomed. Just because someone has an ad on a dating site doesnt mean they are willing to talk dating 24/7.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 9
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 10:59:16 AM

I would get e-mail from people saying "hey, you weren't running today"


Would be even creepier if you still receive those emails!

 BBBROOKLYN
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 10
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:18:15 AM
I say no , not ever !!! As others have said send an e mail if you wish . For me personally I find it unacceptable !!!
 Kings_Knight
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 11
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:20:55 AM
One-word answer: No.
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 13
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:31:48 AM
I wouldn't mind if someone from here approached me. No shame in my game!!

But I definitely wouldn't approach someone I noticed from here. I don't approach people.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 14
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:33:02 AM
For me personally I find it unacceptable


Just curious, but why would it be unacceptable?

Is being on one of the largest dating sites in the world considered something to be ashamed of?

Would you also be opposed to someone saying that they saw you're also friends with X on Facebook?

I mean, I guess it could be a generational thing, nowadays we have synced phones-facebook accounts and half of the phone numbers in my contact list I barely know.

I mean, obviously if you approach someone you don't "know" you should use some tact, but I don't really see how it's unacceptable to walk up to someone you recognize either from online or from friends of friends, or someone you met at a party one time.

I guess it all depends on what you consider POF to mean to you, some people think it's an ultra private club where they don't put up pictures because they don't want people to know they're on a dating site, some of us view it as a social media tool much like Facebook or Twitter is...

I mean, it's not like a guy is going to go up to a girl in a group and say he loved her XXX pics on POF, that would be unacceptable.


I don't approach people.


Why not? Not all of us will bite if you approach a guy.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 16
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 12:15:50 PM

One on one in public it's an ambush no matter your intentions, so I would not.
I would wait and go online, read their profile, and see if I wanted to contact them, and if so send them an email and tell them that I think I saw them at a certain place and talk about that in first contact.


See, the point of view of the first half of your post I can almost understand, until you say that you should email them to tell them you saw them at a certain place, to me that creeps me out a little more than just going up and talking to them.

Is it really that unacceptable to walk up to someone and say "Hey, are you on POF, I saw your profile and just wanted to say hi and introduce myself"?

As opposed to letting them walk away and then emailing them to essentially say you saw them in person...

Nowadays personal information is only as private as you make it, I'm good friends with people that I barely knew that I found on facebook or that found me on facebook. Literally the only identifying knowledge I need for a lot of people is first name and city/state where they reside and what they look like.

Putting your pictures out there increases your exposure, it's like putting up a sign saying look at me and then getting mad when people look at you...
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 17
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 12:31:41 PM
If it wasn't at their place of business or another inappropriate place and you haven't already sent them a message they didn't reply to I say why not? You know they're single and looking. You don't even have to mention "hey I saw you on a online dating site" You could just start a conversation. To me there is no difference, what makes them off limits to talk to in real life? For me If I saw someone in real life and recognized her I would at least know I'm not approaching someone who isn't looking or already has a man.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 18
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 1:08:45 PM
@ OP Very interesting thread. Good one. I had been viewing a profile of a woman I was kind of, semi- interested in. She was from Poland which is a big plus for me. I confess I reviewed her profile about 3x. Every Wednesday night my daughter and I go to the Polish restaurant for our favorite dinner. Well, who do we see? I decided not to approach her at that time. We e-mailed for a little while. She did make it clear to me she was not interested (for a previously discussed reason on here.) . I'm glad I never publically approached her. Since then, once in a while I'll go work out with a woman I know from POF. We now are both paranoid and think everyone at the gym has a profile up. LOL.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 19
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 1:43:11 PM
Why not? What's the big deal? Actually, I'm kind of kidding on the second question. I've been approached a few times I know of. However, I think I've been recognized many times and the people just played stupid (lol), treating me like they never seen me before. It depends on when, where and how it's done. In a casual public setting, it should be ok, unless you know the person may not like you.
 1sexytinkerbell2
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 20
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 1:50:58 PM
I really like what you had to say. You are a confident woman and I applaud women who are like that. I am the same way. I just try not to mention pof unless I feel someone out first and play it by ear. Most people are cool about it though.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 21
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 1:51:32 PM
Off the top of my head, it happened 2x...once @ a singles dance, we ended up dancing, he bought me a drink, we talked alot & kissed in the parking lot. He wanted to go out, but I got the impression he was in the player mode.

The 2nd time, I was in a supermarket, it was a man who had emailed me, then we spoke on the phone, then he blew me off & did the poof...well, I guess he tried to de-poof himself in the market, but I wasn't having it.

There are plenty of people I met in singles events 1st who are on here as well.
 goldenheart31
Joined: 11/20/2010
Msg: 22
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:07:56 PM
I think it depends on the situation. In general, I think it's ok to go over and introduce yourself and all, but not bring up POF. I mean, you know she's single and looking, so there's that hurdle passed, so if you're interested why not?

I've had guys approach me who I recognized from different sites. The ones who brought it up immediately kinda weirded me out a little. The ones who emailed me later and said they saw me somewhere, also creeped me out.

I have a teammate who I chatted with years ago, but we never met. I recognized him
immediately when I joined the team, but we didn't discuss it until we were comfortable with each other. I also have a teammate who I emailed years ago who never responded to me. We have never discussed it.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 23
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:11:22 PM
Interesting, considering someone just messaged me last night saying he saw me yesterday. Said nothing else in the message. I took it as creepy and deleted it. I wouldn't want someone to approach me in person either. Just because you've seen me here doesn't mean we're united through some weird bond or that I know you or want to know you. Anyway, it'd be more acceptable to me if it's someone with whom I had at least exchanged multiple messages.
 Iandwho
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 24
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:20:12 PM
I have been approached and NO I do not think I would do it and I didnt like to be approached....
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:44:35 PM
I think it's quite relative and how he approach the whole scenario. If you decide to make "a scene" over it,,,,I would suggest DON'T!!! As in,,,,don't wave and yell across a room full of people,,,,HEY!!!!! Are you __________?????? It's me WALTS!!!!! Not so good.

But if you approach in a civil manner and introduce yourself,quietly, as a gentleman,,,,than why not???? And really,,,,do you even "need" to tell the woman/man that you have seen her/him on POF????? In the olden days,,,,we just introduced ourselves to strangers whom we found attractive.

And yes,,,it's happened to me,,,,more than once. Everytime it's been good. I don't know if it's because of my sparkling personality,,,,or if they are actually believe I'm as nutty and grumpy as I seem to be here some days????? I know I've surprised a few after our "real life" meeting,,,but,we usually agree to keep it all secret.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 26
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:50:48 PM
If I was in a store or a mall and there were 100 POFers there including women who's profile I looked at, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't recognize any of them. When I check out a profile, I'll take a quit look it and take a quick look at the picture and that's it. I don't study any of the pictures. Once I move on to something else, I'll totally forget who I looked at. And I think I would have a problem translating the image from a postage size picture to a life size actual person and noting it was the same person. Once you look at so many pictures, everybody starts to look the same.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 27
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 3:23:43 PM
I was down in Pickering.
As I was coming out of Canadian Tire I noticed a man who I had seen on the search list.
I have to admit a looked a while, and then he looked back at me.
I'm sure he recognized me.
But no ... I didn't approach him.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 28
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 3:40:37 PM
I received a message from a man who did not interest me. I responded saying thanks but no thanks. A few weeks later I received a message saying he had seen me in a local store and I looked a lot better in person, and we needed to meet for some fun. He did not seem to remember that he had sent me a message previously and that I had not been interested in communicating with him.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 29
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:01:32 PM
I'm totally comfortable approaching people and being approached. It's more of a "hey, small world!" kind of thing, from my perspective. I'd do the same thing if I saw someone in a social situation whom I had seen elsewhere before (or vice-versa). I think it would be especially fun to see and meet someone I recognize from POF but who lives far away, but I certainly would have no problem saying hi if I recognized/was recognized from here.
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