Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfor      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 1
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
My GF's mother is about 5 years younger than me, from time to time I feel a little weird about this. I joke with my GF about it, but I wonder how other people handle this? I feel fine being with her father and mother together if we are all on an outing of some sort, but on the phone, skype or talking to them without my GF it feels odd to be dating their daughter.

I think it feels a little more strange with her mother Vs her father, since I realize in theory if she weren't married, I could be in a relationship with her. I don't have any attraction to her mother, just saying ...

Anyone else in this situation, do most people in this situation feel the same way?
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 2
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:01:14 AM
U are obviously attracted to the mother.....stop bull s hitting!!!
 Stormwolf
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:09:53 AM
Playboy boss Hugh Hefner has denied reports that he is dead and said the rumours were 'greatly exaggerated'..

OP.. you should refer to him for advise!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 4
view profile
History
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:19:25 AM
I am getting a thought...milf and dilf threesome! If girlfriend has children, then it's gilf and milf!


vvvvv So you don't like Pina Coladas? Getting caught in the rain? If you're not into yoga...couldn't resist! vvvvv
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 5
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:25:48 AM
No way.



U are obviously attracted to the mother.....stop bull s hitting!!!


I think it is more because she is a women and women think differently than men about relationships. And there are aspects of her pesonality that I don't like. Such as I think she isn't quite as honest as she should be, she is at times too self centered and materialistic. So maybe it is her personality that is trigging a reaction in me.

Fortunately, my GF was raised mostly by her grandparents. I usually assume parents are a big influence.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 6
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:33:33 AM
just looking, I say, life’s b***h then you die. Maybe I am looking for sympathy in all the wrong places?

At heart, I am a real
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 7
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:42:37 AM
cooldog65, well... the GF does have a younger sister, and I am a guy with an active imagination and can't help how my mind wanders.



I am getting a thought...milf and dilf threesome! If girlfriend has children, then it's gilf and milf!


But I have read stories about angry women and knives, I don't want to lose what's left of my aging manhood.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 8
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:44:20 AM
Not exactly the same situation, other than the age thing being applicable:

My father's wife is two years younger than me. We get along very well, although at first I think it was a little off-setting for her, more so than for me. She was concerned over what people (including me) thought about her being involved with someone old enough to be her father, especially when there was a daughter older than her in the picture.

They are perfect for each other and have been happily married for over 20 years now.

While I can't see myself making the choice that either of them made to be involved with someone with whom there is nearly 30 year age gap, they made the right choice for themselves.


I think it is more because she is a women and women think differently than men about relationships. And there are aspects of her pesonality that I don't like. Such as I think she isn't quite as honest as she should be, she is at times too self centered and materialistic. So maybe it is her personality that is trigging a reaction in me.


Makes sense. And not being comfortable around a gf/bf's parents really has nothing to do with relative ages. Lots of couples have this issue.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 9
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:45:56 AM
looking, If I can get sympathy I will take it. But it's looking like a lost cause already.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:47:34 AM
Rough math,

You 59, Mothers 54, GF is 34 if if her mother had her 20.
So a 59 y/o with a 34 y/o. ?

Deal with the uncomfortable.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 11
view profile
History
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:54:55 AM
beehearnow- That would be a lot awkward at first for me.

The upside, being of the same age area, you can identify with here better I would think.

The dads of the group of my daughters friends had a saying we used to joke about,
You cant look at a girl unless she is at least 5 years older than your daughter. To weird otherwise.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 12
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 7:50:14 AM
You chat on the phone and skype with your girlfriend's mother and father

That,to *me* sounds rather weird and makes me think you are way too old for your girlfriend and should be socializing with her parents!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 13
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 8:07:41 AM
Do you and the girlfriend's parents sit around and talk about the "good old days"? You sound more like the creepy uncle. Is this girlfriend looking for a father figure? What do the parents think of their daughter dating someone older than them? I can't imagine a parent being OK with that situation in most cases.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 14
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 8:18:32 AM

Your profile is odd...You don't sound all that invested in the relationship and you spend your free time fantasizing about her mother and her sister. Very creepy, either act like a gentleman. Or don't get into real relationships. It really appears as if casual is what would work best for you. No woman will put up with you mentally shagging every woman she knows.


I agree. I only hope the young woman is (1. ) not thinking you might actually seriously be a potential life partner - or - (2.) is only with you for material reasons

No wonder you are getting odd vibes from her mother.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 15
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 8:26:06 AM
SeaCatcher, part of my relationship mantra is that people don't change. I don't worry about the GF becoming less than 95% honest, or becoming too self centered or materialistic. No one is perfect, and accepting that is important to not being disappointed.

The one personality difference is that I am a bit of a loner, she is a bit clingy.

Partially a cultural thing for her, personality for me. I don't think she has ever spent a night alone in a house, while I have often enjoyed being alone. It takes about 6 weeks being alone in a new state not knowing anyone for me to start getting those lonely blues type feelings.

I enjoy being close, but not 24/7. And I work out of my home.

So that is a source of possible friction. Assuming we get married, I will have to work on that.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 16
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 8:48:52 AM
I lived with a man around my sons' ages for years. His parents hated me and we never interacted socially. If you are "around" her parents, it must mean some sort of acceptance.

Accept it.

However, you are uncomfortable around the mother, and despite your protestation that you are not attracted to her, I don't think that you are being honest with yourself.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 17
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:00:50 AM
carolann0308, yes, seriously go on bike rides with my mother. No friends of hers left that can do it, so if I don't go with her, she has to tool around the neighborhood by herself, and she also has a hard time getting a bike on and off of a car rack. We ride the Illinois Prairie Path, why is that unusual?

I think the mentally shagging thing is because right now I am sort of free range horny since we aren't together. Also I am a bit of a commitment phobe, but I know myself well enough to know I would never act on it, and we plan to get married. No sense losing her when we get along so well, and I would live to regret it. I did that once a long time ago, it turns out it is hard to find someone you want to marry.

We have lived together and traveled together for months at a time, so I do know her quite well.

She is in another country, and I will have to apply for a K3 visa. She is living with her parents, skype is a natural, I don't actually skype her parents, but they are in the convo from time to time. When I first met her she was living in a townhouse with her sister, but last year they all moved into a larger house together.

I have thought about going 100% casual, I doubt it would work well for me. If I tried to do that, I would have to really work at pushing people away.

Normally if I am dating I go for 3-4 different women until I click with someone and I end up in a LTR. The only easy way to avoid it is to not date at all, which isn't much fun either. And I don't like casual sex with vulgar or emotionally distant women, so that isn't a good option either. I tend to have too much empathy and read body language too well for it to work for me. Empathy causes a problem because I know how a person will feel if I do X, IE: dump her or have other NSA relationships, reading a person is a problem because I know when a women is just going through the motions.

Partially I think you are taking my comments to seriously, everyone has flights of imagination from time to time. I am telling you what I think, but I am also being playful.

Got to go soon.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 18
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:09:01 AM
let me guess...he looks VERY young for his age, even w/o makeup
 Kings_Knight
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 19
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:10:30 AM

" ... I don't have any attraction to her mother, just saying ... "


Bullshit. Just sayin' ...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 20
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:15:30 AM

She is in another country, and I will have to apply for a K3 visa. She is living with her parents, skype is a natural, I don't actually skype her parents, but they are in the convo from time to time. When I first met her she was living in a townhouse with her sister, but last year they all moved into a larger house together.


Oh, call it my innate skepticism, but this puts a whole different spin on your story. I had imagined a all American girl, but we all know the stories of old men going to foreign countries to find wives.


Partially I think you are taking my comments to seriously, everyone has flights of imagination from time to time. I am telling you what I think, but I am also being playful.


I think that I missed something--flights of imagination about the mother?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 21
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:16:11 AM
*army mom*, actually, half my age would be 29, which might work out better. Older might work as well, I see a number of attractive older ladies. The problem I have enountered with many older women is a great deal of them are either out of shape, not very active or mentally stuck in sexually inhibited ways of reacting.

I see some profiles of older women that are very active, seem very fit and look likely to be compatible, but they also seem to want younger men. This doesn't leave a lot of choices in that age group.

I wish she were younger beause at 37 her biological clock is ticking, and she wants a baby. I love kids, I have no problems with that, but it would be nicer to live together for a few years before having to deal with a baby. Maybe I get lucky and I am infertile, it would be a bit disappointing, but may work better in the long run, who knows, in the hands of fate. We talked about it, she wants a baby, but would be ok if it doesn't work that way.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 22
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:19:44 AM
Gwendolyn2010. yes, you did miss something, it was her sister I was saying when talking about flights of imagination. But I am already in love, and I doubt I was feel the same about the sister, her personality likely isn't compatible for a LTR.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 23
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:21:48 AM

half my age would be 29, which might work out better. Older might work as well, I see a number of attractive older ladies. The problem I have enountered with many older women is a great deal of them are either out of shape, not very active or mentally stuck in sexually inhibited ways of reacting.


In my opinion, you are rationalizing why you don't date women your age. It is also another case of a profile with no picture--you could be obese for all we know.

Are you saying that you would REALLY like to have an even younger woman to marry?

If the mother is five years younger than you are and your intended is 37, that means her mother was 17 when she birthed. Is my math correct?

Yikes.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 24
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:42:51 AM
Gwendolyn, might have a point if I actually wanted to get married or find a wife. I had been thinking of moving to a foreign country, and was interviewing potential GFs when I met her. I wasn't looking for anything serious, nor was I convinced I wanted to move.

I was just dating while traveling, I wasn't ready to get into a marraige so soon after starting dating again.

I sort of didn't want to get married, at least not right away. I was emailing with a brazilian lady who was a teacher in beijing china, she wanted to show me around the capital, said we could take our relationship however it went when we met. Now that is out the window also.

I can take off for long periods of time if I want to, so that helps. I also dated a women from Hong Kong, she was fairly wealthy. We were joking maybe I could move in with her and be her chauffeur. But she said I would have to also clean house and cook.

I can take off, but I am not a multi-millionare, HK is expensive to live.

It's kind of hard to call it traditional dating, since one tends to spend a lot of time together right away. Not very practical to fly to hong kong just for coffee and a meet at the local starbucks.

Actually HK lady puzzled me, I was thinking of asking the forum about why she did what she did.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 25
If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?
Posted: 1/22/2012 10:13:55 AM
gwendolyn, If I were obese or if I am thin, does it make a difference to your assessment?

When I was in my late 20s, I had LTRs with ladies that were always older than me, not sure why. Usually 4-12 years older, I didnt search them out, it just happened that way.

Actually, the only age traditional person I had a LTR with was my first GF.

If age weren't on a profile, I wouldn't even care about it, I just look at a pic and read their profile. You can see how active they are, and get an idea of their BMI.

The only time I backed away from a date because of age was when the girl was 20, and I knew she wanted to date to get married. I wouldn't have minded casual dating, it probably won't work out anyway, but I didn't want the responiblitiy of someone that young. Likey we would have ended up in bed, and I didn't want that sort of feeling.

Just saying, if somone wants to have a child, 28 is a better age, they arent in a rush and gives us a longer time to be together without the responsiblity of a baby.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If your GF / BF mother is younger than you, does it make you uncomfortable?