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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Ruined for All men?      Home login  
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 8
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Ruined for All men?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The assumption that there isn't something better out there...I remember when I was a naive 24 year old like yesterday
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 10
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Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/24/2012 9:52:24 PM
Now with the information you provided I am pretty sure that you need to overcome the fear of exploration. Think of your ex as a starting point, but not the finish line. Good luck.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 11
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/25/2012 3:11:40 AM
OP, I've been there myself, and funny enough when I was about your age and just got out of my first, serious relationship after 7 years.

I totally agree with poster 3 and can only tell you, as unlikely as it seems to you now, you'll get over it. Look at the upside of things, at least now you know what works for you and what kind of sex you want.

Take your time at this point, don't get impatient with some failed attempts, and eventually you'll find another great match with whom the sex will, most likely, be even better!!

Good luck
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 13
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Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/25/2012 5:23:14 AM
I have to agree with Kuntz here.. not a hardship to do it either. This guy is in your head. If you're second guessing future relationships because he said he'd ruin you, yeah.. he's in your head.

I was with my ex for nearly 10 yrs. While I ventured slowly out into the dating world, I knew that I wasn't really ready, and definitely not ready for a sexual relationship. Took me over 2 years to get my head screwed back on straight and undo all the conditioning he'd done.

Don't think about him. Just don't. The best revenge is living well. Do that instead.

Despite this, when you're with someone new you will think about the old guy. Insted of thinking "he's ruined me for others" think "F*CK YOU A$$HOLE!!! This is going to be so F*CKING GOOD!" Then give the new guy the best of what you have to offer.
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 14
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/25/2012 12:02:03 PM're not ruined.

What I've learned from awesome mind-blowing sex is to be more communicative with my partners. What one can do, others can learn how to do. Seriously, penis in vagina is *not that* complicated.
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 15
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/26/2012 11:50:20 AM
kja71 MSG 22. I was ruined for a long time by my first GF. Maybe better for me, I didn't know it at the time since she was my first. We were together monogamous for over 5 years, and even after we started dating other people we still had to keep seeing each other for another 5 years.

She wanted to get married, I wasn't ready. 10 years later I would kick myself because I was a fool not to go ahead and get married.

Sometimes the sex was so good I would pass out. To get to that point, you need not only the physical part down, you need to be well tuned to each other bodies, and you need a high level of emotional intimacy.

At least I know how good good sex can be.
Joined: 2/16/2011
Msg: 16
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/26/2012 12:03:18 PM
Your kidding right, at 24 how could you not have mind blowing sex every time you do it. Its only as good as you want to make it feel, doesn't matter who your with. If every encounter with him was so great for 8 months, then what happened that it didn't work out. You say you dont sleep around, but what were you doing with him, if it didn't work out as a relationship.. Seems it was just for sex..
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/27/2012 4:25:38 AM
I'll just point out too, that this is a standard manipulative trick that some guys, especially true, emotionally callous players, use on women.

The players goal in saying this is not to make you for ever after pine for them after they drop you and move on, it's to get you to put up with any nonsense, sexual games, and philandering they want to indulge in while they still utilize you in their lives. Just putting it into your head that THEY are the source of your sexual pleasure, and not you, leaves you vulnerable to complete manipulative control.

Go with the advice to take advantage of what you did discover that you liked about sex with that guy, to use to augment how you enjoy the next guy. Put yourself back in the sexual drivers seat. You will very likely discover two things: that letting go of fear is more important to a good sexual experience than is the exact things you do sexually is, and that your feeling truly comfortable about yourself is the most rewarding of all. Anyone can learn a set of sexual gymnastics and tricks. Having a caring partner who wants to learn them is what makes the sex really good in the long term, not that they learned them from someone else before meeting you.
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 19
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 1/28/2012 12:44:52 PM

it was the most amazing 8 months of my life and mmmm so good!

Whoa hello

I'm Scared To try with someone else... What if it's never the same and my disappointment is visibly apparent. I don't want to be rude or sexually promiscuous while looking for someone who can "send me to heaven" on a regular basis. Yes I know it's not "always" about sex , but it's important!

I bet he was very affectionate and passionate right?
usually people like that know how to F**King ROCK the sack.
so... go out there and find someone attractive that is also like that or similar
I'm sure you'll find another rock star.
Joined: 7/30/2009
Msg: 23
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Ruined for All men?
Posted: 12/27/2012 3:15:59 PM
Good lovers listen. Tis a not so secret secret that gives the fellow the information of what works and what doesn't.
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 24
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 12/27/2012 4:20:23 PM
All I can do is laugh at this! I guess if you are not willing to try it with someone else then I guess you will be single for the rest of your life enjoy!
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 25
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 12/28/2012 6:58:12 AM
Ruined for all men?


I had one gf that was incredible in bed. She used to dress like a school girl and wear wigs and we did all kinds of things that were out of this world. After we split I could not imagine someone better. Yet I met someone else that was completely different. The new gf has the uncanny ability to stay super lubricated, which in the beginning made it difficult to actually have an orgasm, so we would go practically for almost an hour before anything happened. Then I learned to time it better, so we would go for about 40 minutes, have a dry orgasm, play again, take a break, go at it again, and be able to do this three times at night and then twice in the morning.

So does that means that It's ruined for the next relationship. No. It simply means that you learn what works for your current partner and find the things that turn on your partner without comparing to the past.
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 26
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 12/28/2012 7:16:35 AM
You're 24.. well the vagina fairy be rolling over having a hernia of an orgasm right now.. as for sex.. your best sex partner is yourself.. learn to appreciate your own body and it don't mean diddly if you've found mister humbumschlum and cum.. izzah not worth waiting around for a ship that ain't rah rah rolled into harbor.. great when you have someone to share it with OF COURSE.. but there ain't no point in waiting for the cob web fairy to wratch up the wrotch....

Players might send you to heaven... they think..
your best sex is you.. once women get that as men already understand this because they were dna trained to stroke the machine..never rely on another to provide you sexual pleasure I always say.. an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.. you own your sex and your body and your pleasure zones.. yepp.. rock and roll and empower your glass cathedral..hah.,
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 27
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 12/28/2012 7:22:13 AM

mister humbumschlum and cum.. izzah

Now that is hilariously funny!!
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 30
Ruined for All men?
Posted: 12/28/2012 11:33:47 AM
msg#9 abelian......take what you've learned and make someone elses life amazing.

Half of the enjoyment of having incredible sex is pleasuring your partner. It's not ALL about you being pleasured.
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