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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?      Home login  
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 genuinegirly10
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 1
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I recently read you should give someone you have met 6 dates before you make a judgement on if you are a match or not. This being that you have some form of attraction and interest from the beginning and they aren't weird or creepy! lol
Ok..if my initial meet someone new is only ok I usually don't go out again. Or at the most I will try 1 date and see if it gets better. Just curious what others dating are finding out there so far, should you wait to throw in the towel?! or first sign of hmnnn not for me completely? RUN!!! : o)
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 2
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/30/2012 10:02:08 PM
The correct time to have sex is on the third date. By date six you're practically an item. I wish people would stop trying to reinvent the wheel on this one.

The first date is for eliminating 95% for lack of chemistry, for doing yer basic tone-check on them – to see if you like their rhythm. If so, go home and think about stuff they’ve said and about how you feel after you’re away from them for a while. If not, throw in the towel.

Second date is to verify your hunches from the first date, see if their alibis hold up, to see if they’re starting to loosen up. To see if you like the way they kiss, etc. – your basic heat check.

If everything is OK you’re basically good to go, but unless you’re a real strumpet, you go home alone and wait for the third date. This is also a good time to think about the conversation and how you felt about them.

Third date is on a Saturday night, you’ve done the dishes and vacuuming, picked out nice underwear and there’s eggs and OJ in the fridge. Is this too much information? It’s by no means a slam dunk at this point, but it’s gut-check time - basically it’s yours to lose.

Three is the number. This is the way it's done. Try some other number if you want but don't come cryin' to me…
 genuinegirly10
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 3
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/30/2012 10:24:38 PM
Hmnnn I don't remember ever mentioning when to have sex in my post, altho your outlook on it all was interesting...my post was about going out on Dates! I'm starting to think I judge too quickly is all, the whole trust your gut sometimes seems abit dismissive and maybe mine is off . Pickin same type of guy etc...haha
When to have sex? well thats a whole other topic already covered on here :)
Cheers
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 4
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/30/2012 11:47:35 PM
I believe the only dating rules are the ones that you are comfortable with, everything else seems null and void to me!
 Silver_Sparks
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 5
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/30/2012 11:58:38 PM
Really?....SIX dates before you tell me that you're not interested in dating me?
Ouch!....rejection hurts. Even more so after a 2-3 weeks---or longer.

One date is often enough to decide whether or not you like a person enough to have another date with them.
Second date should confirm or deny your interest in continuing to date this person.
Third date....well, we've already heard about that now haven't we! hahahaha

First dates can be stressful and I'll admit that I've flunked a few.
Have I gotten a second chance?...yes and no. It varies.
Have I gotten a third chance?...no...nor would I ever expect one.
I certainly don't wanna wait to be judged unsuitable after SIX dates.
If a person isn't interested in dating me, I'd like to know sooner rather than later.
 genuinegirly10
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 6
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 12:05:55 AM
I agree! Thanks for your thoughts and opinions so far ladies! I have now decided to try the Date 2 atleast! haha but yes 6 dates omg thats an investment for sure and too long to drag it out if your on the fence from beginning :)
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 4:52:28 AM
The problem I have with ALL of these "number of dates" concepts and "rules," is that they always assume that every "date" content is of a predictable and regular kind.

The guy who touted the "three date, have sex" thing, for example, assumes that you CAN tell during ANY first date, no matter what happens and what you do, whether or not you have a basic chemistry with the person. That requires that you start with the assumption that everyone is a thoroughly stable, unchanging version of themselves, without moods, or contrary circumstances, or shifts in health or rest cycles. Since almost everyone excuses their OWN constant minor shifts in behavior and expression, it's an act of wanton stupidity to insist that everyone else is differently stable.

There's a quote in the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie I like for this. It goes something along the lines of " We decided that the code isn't so much rules, but more like guidelines." I think the same, loose sort of approach to all dating-expert recommendations is in order. Draw all he general hints for what to consider, that you like from such things, but discard all set time-lines and certain conclusions completely.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 8
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:18:57 AM
I don't put much stock in a 6 date rule when it comes to discovering the person. But for chemistry compatibility you should be honest about it after the first or even second date. If you need six dates to determine chemistry you may want to re-evaluate what you find attractive?

 WinterIsComing80
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 9
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:26:31 AM
If it took me that long to judge the character of someone I'd go nuts. Sure I'm not going to be fully informed on the first date but by the 3rd I should at least know if there is potential for either furthering the relationship or getting stabbed.
 rigal41
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 10
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:31:25 AM
stop living by any rules and do what feels right for you....
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 11
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:58:18 AM
There are no rules. But common sense would suggest that if you do not feel any chemistry after 1-2 meets then it is not going to happen.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 12
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:11:45 AM
Well, if I ever make it to 6 dates with one person, I could answer this more accurately. I can tell you that I know within 30 seconds if I can imgine kissing the guy; another couple of minutes of I'd have sex with him; and after an hour I know for sure whether I'd go out with him again. If there aren't some serious sparks by the end of a date/meeting, I'm probably not going to waste my time on a 2nd date.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 13
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:21:53 AM
If we get to 6 dates, by then I'll probably know if I want to bring up exclusivity. Usually, one meet or date is enough to rule out most, but some merit a second or even a third before I can confidently exclude them (or more rarely, decide that I want to continue seeing them). To really know someone takes 6 to 12 months, especially if you are looking for LTR material.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 14
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:24:12 AM
6 dates, then dump if you don't feel a connection? Thats stringing it out too long.
What if the guy may have decided you are the one, since you keep going out with him, and takes you out on six nice dates, drops a bit of cash doing it then whammo, sorry Charlie? That would suck....
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 15
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:55:01 AM
Message:
If we get to 6 dates, by then I'll probably know if I want to bring up exclusivity. Usually, one meet or date is enough to rule out most, but some merit a second or even a third before I can confidently exclude them (or more rarely, decide that I want to continue seeing them). To really know someone takes 6 to 12 months, especially if you are looking for LTR material.


I'll drink to that! lol

Op, you might want re-aval yourself[your picker] in what & want & need for the moment,wheather it be be short term or longer in quality people with similar interest,life styles,etc as you......jmo
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 16
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:45:58 AM
6 dates? Sounds like the author of your reading material is explaining how to milk the fish not the cow. Initial meet and greet should eliminate 95% from the start. After that 3X is cool. We all want a dividend from our investment. Let's not be gluttonous.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 17
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:55:58 AM

army_mom:
Well, if I ever make it to 6 dates with one person, I could answer this more accurately. I can tell you that I know within 30 seconds if I can imgine kissing the guy; another couple of minutes of I'd have sex with him; and after an hour I know for sure whether I'd go out with him again. If there aren't some serious sparks by the end of a date/meeting, I'm probably not going to waste my time on a 2nd date.



Agree 100%. Six dates is a really long time to decide about someone. Really long.

Where is abelian anyway, did he go on vacation or something? He usually has some strong words on this subject. Basically along the lines of, "I like decisive women. If a woman can't make up her mind whether she is attracted to me by the end of the first date, she is not my type."
 Mr_Nationwide
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 18
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 10:54:46 AM
I date 3 or 4 girls to in the same month to pick out which girl I wanna get serious.
 genuinegirly10
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 19
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 11:17:27 AM
Good to know I'm not the only one thinking 6 dates is not very realistic at all. A guideline for sure is a better term to use with these articles that comeout. Leading someone on is farthest from my goal thats for sure. The only thing I will add to that is I am learning that doing different types of dates is probably the best way to judge a real connection. 6 coffee dates in a row...well is possible with many types of people! hah So doing different things in different settings for first few dates is probably wiser.

I think this article I read was trying to emphasize don't rule out the guy/girl you don't initially feel that WOW with since Yes maybe they are having an "off" day or they take a few times of seeing eachother to relax and be their true self more. Dating is so unpredictable overall and well...good luck to us all! :-D
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 20
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 4:40:09 PM

don't rule out the guy/girl you don't initially feel that WOW with since Yes maybe they are having an "off" day or they take a few times of seeing eachother to relax and be their true self more.

not a bad approach, unless someone egregiously doesn't have what you're looking for. dunno if i'd give it a month's test drive, tho. three dates tops.
 Looking4Chat0000
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 21
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 4:42:37 PM
I am sure by the 6th date someone will find something wrong with someone
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 22
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:32:27 PM
Sex by the 3rd date??.. oh hell no.. you brad pitt or something?>.

I thought this thread meant.. sex by the 6th date.. and i would say.. most likely.

But yes.. i KNOW if I want to have sex with him by the 3rd..And i do NOT waste a mans time if im not interested... Just be patient with me.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 23
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:39:17 PM
You really oughta know within the first date or two if they're worth a 3rd one. I used to think you know for sure on the first date, within the first minute or two but now I accept the possibility that you need that second meetup if things fall into that grey area that I call "questionable and in doubt but maybe a potential" which falls squarely in between "horrible and hopeless" at one end and "sparks flying so high that you can't wait to see them again" at the other. Then again I can't recall a questionable but potential first date EVER developing into something serious so maybe it really does just take the first few minutes of the first date to be certain. In fact, as I come back to edit this post, I think it does.

By the time you're out with a person 6x if you're not starting to consider going exclusive with them, then it's not going to happen. This latest series of dates found me with one woman in particular, took her out 9x, she wanted to get serious but I just wasn't feeling any urge whatsoever to do anything more than casual, meanwhile I've met two women who within the first 5 minutes of the second date.. we were exclusive. If it's got real potential, you don't have to wonder all that much about it.

As far as the sex goes, I've had sex as quickly as the first date, that was my now exwife and we were together the better part of 20 years, the longest I ever went out with a woman before screwing her was about a month, typically it's within a few weeks to a month, with 6 dates probably being about right.

This is my own personal experience, and your mileage may vary.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 24
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:13:52 PM
yes.. i think i know by the 2nd date if the chemistry is there.. but i prefer to wait for sex.. as the "just looking for sex" types drop off by the 3rd date. haha.. and the ones looking for long term accept the 5th or 6th date as a good choice for sex
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 25
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:21:03 PM

savvyseahorse :
I think as we mature we may look at things differently and we are not so hot to trot



savvyseahorse:
If I am really attracted to a guy and the chemistry is there then by the 3rd date sex is going to happen.


Alrighty then!

I'm glad you've learned to slow it down, you little trotter you!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?