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Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 2
Flings...Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hmmm....I think it's fleeting....not sustainable. No idea why. Retrospect sounds about right...I think many more come out 'after' the fact and term it a 'fling', rather than go in with the concept.
Etiquette? Good question. Again, in my experience I termed it a fling after the fact so the question of etiquette never came up.
Interesting question....I'll be interested to see the responses.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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Posted: 1/31/2012 4:24:25 AM
I agree with Hearton, mostly.

What I often note about word choice and usage, is how people select this or that word less because it is correct for the subject, than because it allows them to do what they want without penalty or price, or to manipulate how something is perceived after the fact.

In the case of "fling," it gives the sense of something light-hearted, unimportant, short-lasting, just-for fun. When a married person has something they call a "fling," it usually means that they wanted some no-strings sex on the side, and don't want any responsibility at all for following up either with the fling partner, nor with their spouse. If they called it an "affair" instead, it usually suggests that they were more seriously involved with the non-marital partner, even if all of what they did together was exactly the same as what they called a "fling."

I've noted that some who have been betrayed by a partner, refer to what that person did as a "fling," as a way t lessen it's significance, and to put down their spouses partner at the same time. In this way, it's sort of a political term in a relationship sense.

As for "fling etiquette," I would think it should be the same as all relationship situations: be honest and forthright and communicative. It's my opinion that if you do anything with anyone, and you purposely let them believe that there is either more or less to it than you say, that you are a selfish and dishonorable person.

But even if you do make it clear that you have no serious, long term intentions, you are likely to run into situations where the other person gets their hopes up, and feels betrayed when you are done with them.
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 6
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Posted: 1/31/2012 4:45:40 AM
Well in my case, I have no interest in a relationship and am upfront about it. All men I meet know my motto is "It is what it is while it is" and if they choose to move forward with illusions of a relationship I would think that would be their issue not mine.
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 7
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:03:00 AM
banging on the first nite..thats a fling..
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 9
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Posted: 1/31/2012 6:30:35 AM
You know it was a fling when you feel like you've been flung.

Like any other 'fun' ride, it can leave you breathless, exhilarated and sometimes a little sick to your stomach.

Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 10
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:33:28 AM
fling is a fancy word for "Friends with Benefits"," *uck Buddy"", Booty call"," side-piece","May/December romance" etc..... its all the As far as etiquette is concerned, that's totally dependent on ur personality.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 12
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Posted: 1/31/2012 8:29:45 AM
A fling to me, is when one or both know that there is a time limit for it, right from the start. It could be a summer vacation, a trip overseas, being deployed to a new country or place, a transfer within the company that is short term, on and on.

I have known some that are just awesome people, but they were set where they were, or in their job, family, etc., and what we have together will not last longer than the current situation, and we know it, understand it, and enjoy it for what it is right now.

Once the time is over, everyone goes back to their normal life and dating situation, and keep the memories, and fantasies with them for the rest of their lives.

Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 13
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:52:42 AM
Sometimes you know in advance, like the summer fling you have with someone you meet on holidays. You know it’s crazily impractical, you’re all wrong for each other but the mood is right, or the time is ripe or it’s April in Paris…

Or you decide in retrospect, but that’s a fling of another kind if you thought it might have potential. You put more of your heart in and have to pull it out again. And if they knew and you didn’t, you feel burned and foolish when they say, “I thought you knew, remember I told you…”

A fling is casual and brief and you make compromises that you wouldn’t if you thought it was gonna last. They can be older, younger, wilder, poorer, they can even drink too much as long as they dance well.

Don’t speak of tomorrow. Don’t lend money. Don’t meet the family. This candle’s burning at both ends.
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 14
Posted: 1/31/2012 1:20:47 PM

and what is the definition of a fling.....?

What you do with a frisbee.

You can decide it beforehand, or, you may meet someone and THINK you might have a future with them, but decide after learning more about them, that it will just be a fling after all.

Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16
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Posted: 1/31/2012 3:54:44 PM
You bet Landra......When one knows that they will not have to, nor let themselves, become emotionally involved to the point of long term........been there and done that more than once or twice myself.

None of this has to mean, or should mean that one is not kind, considerate, and/or just means that one knows that there will be no long term investment, so therefore, no long term commitment when it comes to love, taking care of, and accepting.

These flings can so hinge on infatuation, attraction with that chemistry, but no compatibility that either, or one, will even strive to find out if it is the "right now syndrome"...........

Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
Posted: 1/31/2012 4:20:50 PM
Is this a longer version of a one night stand-maybe 2 or 3 nights stand?
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 21
Posted: 2/1/2012 7:43:58 AM

I think of a 'fling' as a summer romance,vacation beau etc. Someone that you could easily see working out long term except there is something standing in the way, like distance

This comes closest for me. Quick, excilerating, strong feelings, knowing that it's going to be short-lived and going for it anyway. I have fond feelings and smile when I think about past 'flings'.
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 24
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:20:57 AM

What you do with a frisbee.

I thought it had to do with boogers...

That's "flick", not fling.

Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 25
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:02:32 PM
way of topic...... HeartOn64..I have been away for a while ..but Its great to see you are still here or back ..even if under a new name ..we have had many a good debate ..which makes me feel closer2u..cheers my friend
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 26
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:10:44 PM
I thin k you guys miss the point.

A Fling is just one person using another for sex.

Several times I've met a woman and knew we did not sure an enduring future together but she was cute and I was horny.

In retrospect I have been flung a few times but ladies that wanted my body but nothing more.

Someone said it: for every person on a fling there is someone flung...and hurt.

The Cowboy
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 27
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:41:08 PM

Is a fling something you decide in retrospect?

I would always decide what I wanted beforehand and if I wanted more than a fling, I'd accept the possibility that she might not. However, I think it's best to make that clear up front so that everyone is on the same page.

do you let the other person know it's only a fling........?

Well, I would. I think it's only fair to let someone know what my interest is and I've never thought it necessary to mislead someone to get laid.

and what is the definition of a fling.....?

Casual sex.
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