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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??      Home login  
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 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 1
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Just curious, from the ladies perspective as i've seen alot of situations where you ladies will hang on to something which may not be ideal and in fact prolly not even relationship material long term...but you hang on to something...anything..until something better comes along?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:17:02 AM
This is not a gender issue.

It is an issue of men and women who are dependent on having someone/anyone in the lives.

Both some men and some women jump into their next bad relationship for fear of being alone.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 3
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:52:49 AM
true...but i dont date men...so i'm just looking for the woman's perspective...
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 4
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:03:30 AM
Id much rather be on my own than waste my time with anyone who was not right for me.

But,i know women who are too afraid to be alone so they'll put up with just about anyone for the sake of having "someone".
They cant be alone and obviously dont like their own company.
Weird,i know................
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 5
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:31:46 AM
true...but i dont date men...so i'm just looking for the woman's perspective...

Yeah, but you are a man and if you've ever been in a relationship, you've done the same thing to some extent, too. If people didn't do that to some extent, they'd bail out of every relationship the first time they had an argument. People stay when they see more benefit overall from staying than they do in bailing out. For a lot of people, the fear of the unknown stops them from doing a lot of things, including leaving a relationship with a known partner for someone new.
 Discordiaa
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 6
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:36:47 PM
I've dated people that I knew weren't right and I'll cut them loose promptly once I make that decision.

I value my time far too much to spend it with someone that doesn't make me smile.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 7
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:49:29 PM
What is ideal????? It's always a give and take imo.

If "Mr. Right Now" means that it feels right at this current point in time, I would go for it as one never knows in advance of the long term potential of any partner.

If it's not good, I definitely would not hang on. I'm too comfy with my (more or less single) life to "hang on" to someone (something) who makes it uncomfortable.
 munchkin111
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 8
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:05:24 PM

Id much rather be on my own than waste my time with anyone who was not right for me.


Same with me - I don't understand why people stay with the wrong guy either...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 9
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:22:41 PM
Some folks give up on Mr Right, so they go w. Mr. Right now, not settling, but w. their eyes open...basically, like a FWB.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 10
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:38:06 PM
Well if the sex is good and I don't have anything better to do,,,,,,if the sex is bad but we have fun and I don't have anything better to do,,,,,,
Then again I suppose they're doing the same with me because they don't have anything better to do,,,,,
You can still date and have fun while waiting for the ideal relationship.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 11
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:47:46 PM
Too many women are looking for a knight in shining armor, Mr. Perfect who has no flaws and never says or does anything wrong. Then, when they meet guys who are human beings, women freak out and feel they've been cheated out of a life in the castle in the sky with unicorns and fairies flying around. Reality is a b1tch.
 ticka
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 12
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:09:15 PM
Well from what i've seen of, from women here in the same city, i find a lot of women are only concerned about what they want, not what would be good for her and him as a couple! I'm looking for Mr. Right, but don't feeel he exists so i'll take things slow and see how things go.... granted, i have found that on this site there seems to be more guys on this site looking for Mrs. Right now... oh well, if i ever find him... hopefully i'll know
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 13
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:43:17 PM
At present I'd settle for being Mr. Right Now for awhile, and being in a relationship with Ms. Right Now. It's better than a series of first dates, and much better than being alone all the time.

But I'm sure I am Mr. Right for someone, and I hope to find her someday.
 Yankee again
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 14
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:58:14 PM
Nope i move on....there is no Mr Right now.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 15
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:21:47 PM
The concept of Mr./Miss Right is more of a matter of state of mind than someone who meets specific physical attributes that receives a check mark for each attribute on someone's tally sheet. Someone who keeps a score card of "must have" requirements will never find Mr. or Miss Right. Especially if the "must have" list is on multiple pages, which a lot of women seem to have.

Can someone honestly say that every person in their family and in their family tree, and among their friends chose a Mr./Miss Perfect and no one settled for Mr. or Miss Right Now? Out of those two categories, how many succeeded? I think a Mr. and Miss Right Now have just as much chance of survival as someone who thought they picked the most perfect human specimen to ever walk on the face of the earth. Why do half of those most perfect human specimens in history end up getting divorced?

Relationships is like getting a new car. It's all shiny and perfect when it comes off the car lot. But if you continue to drive it without continual maintenance, it will sputter and break down and end up looking like a piece of sh1t.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 16
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/9/2012 12:57:35 PM
It takes awhile to decide to leave or stay in a relationship because a person has to factor in all the pros and cons. This is only fair to oneself and the other person. It is not a desperate thing to do. It does not mean you are hanging on until someone better comes along.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 17
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:39:49 PM

army_mom:
I've never done this. I don't see the point in hanging onto someone I don't care about who likely doesn't care about me. I've never been that needy or lonely.

I'm a lot of things ... desperate isn't one of them.


I didn't think this thread was about being needy, or clingy. I thought it was more about just being with someone for now, someone you can do things with (including perhaps sex) until you meet someone who is a better candidate for long term. That is, casual dating with no plans to take it further.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 18
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/9/2012 1:55:47 PM
"This is not a gender issue."

Well that maybe or may not be the case.

Before going there, let's look at the premise of mr or ms 'right now'. If it's just about casual dating, great! As long as both people realize that, because if the 'right now' thinks they have a shot at a relationship, it seems duplicitous to me.

As far as the gender aspect, there has to be some recognition of the double standard in dating. Speaking purely on accepted dating practices, we see day in day out on these forums, gender would be a factor.

If a man dates a woman casually and sex comes into play, he is often chastised as a dog, for leading her on, with no intention of a relationship. This can be said of both casual dater, and the ones who don't explain they will only date, no relationship.

If a woman does the same thing, because of the way dating works, the man will have to initiate contact, pay for most of the dates.

My point is not to start a gender or flame war, simply to show the obvious flaws. Especially if you consider that the other person, may or may not know the intention of who they are dating.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 19
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/9/2012 4:04:38 PM

If a man dates a woman casually and sex comes into play, he is often chastised as a dog, for leading her on, with no intention of a relationship.


and if a woman does this, she's called a whore.

are you suggesting that it's only bad for men?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 20
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/9/2012 4:21:18 PM
I don't understand how there can ever be a Mr. Right Now-settling for second best. They do not exist. When a woman sees a guy, she decides in a fraction of a second if she is sexually attracted to him-the feminine term for it is Instant Chemistry. If there's no instant chemistry-that only a Mr. Perfect would have, the guy is kicked to the curb. Women are always chasing the magical pie in the sky and demand a Mr. Perfect take her there on a flying horse decorated with flowers.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 21
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/10/2012 1:50:20 PM
"are you suggestin that it's only bad for men?"

NO!! I'm suggesting that it isn't in the best interest, of either! Unless both parties are clued into the agenda, that you are just being social and actually don't see each other as more than a number of dates, till something better comes along.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 22
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/10/2012 2:18:49 PM
Hey maleman..i guess thats why i buy a new car every 4 years..as soon as the 'warranty' expires!!! lol...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/10/2012 3:34:38 PM

Hey maleman..i guess thats why i buy a new car every 4 years..as soon as the 'warranty' expires!!! lol..


What kind of trade-in value do you get?
 mrsforums
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 24
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Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/11/2012 1:14:01 AM
A relationship is not like a job that you take for the short term until your dream career opportunity comes along.

I'm curious ... as you say you've seen alot of situations ... has somebody told you that they were hanging onto "anything" until something better comes along?

Or is this just your assumption?

MrsF
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 25
Is he Mr. Right..or just Mr. Right Now??
Posted: 2/29/2012 4:52:26 AM
i get excellent trade-in value as i keep my cars virtually spotless and with only about 8k a year they are 'creampuffs'..lol...
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