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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??Page 1 of 1    
It seems like every time I try to think of some convo-starter with a woman I either blank or reject everything I think of because it sounds so pathetic in my head.

When your basic personality is introverted, your own self-talk internal dialogue usually IS self-critical and overly critical of others... Start by repeating to yourself: I'm ok and they are ok.. Dozens of times a day repeat that...

To change, you must be motivated enough to daily PRACTICE casual conversations with non-threatening people/situations, so that you get comfortable enough talking with people you DON'T want to date, that eventually you are relaxed when talking to someone you DO...
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 4
small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:58:00 PM

every time I try to think of some convo-starter with a woman I either blank or reject everything I think of…

the weather
school
homework
ask if she’s heard about a current event
just say ‘hi’
ask her something
not about her breasts
listen
have an exit strategy ready, like ‘gotta go to lunch’

you'll see her again
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 5
small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:05:49 PM
Small talk is called small talk because that is what it is -- insignificant chatter about insignificant things. Anyone who engages in it is de facto desperate.

The best policy is to talk about topics that interest and mean something to you -- always. First, you are probably well informed on those and won't be at a loss for words. Secondly, the person conversing with you will either be interested and then a lively exchange can develop or disinterested and probably not the one you would enjoy talking with in any case. Third even if you were adept at small talk, it avails you nothing when you are trying to know and understand someone new.
 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 6
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small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??
Posted: 2/4/2012 6:31:13 AM

not about her breasts


I disagree. I think you should mention her breasts. But in a nice way--same as you would about, say, her shoes.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 7
small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??
Posted: 2/4/2012 8:48:55 AM
Stop trying to say things that Impress her when you should just be thinking of the surroundings. you're goal should be to get a woman to speak about herself and go on and on. The best way you can do that is buy asking her questions, listening to her repsonses and pulling from her responses to show you are listening and force her to go more in depth.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > small-talk...how do you not make it obvious/desperate??