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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?      Home login  
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 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 2
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I suppose we all like to be needed, I sometimes like that my kids still need me. A man, not so much. Needy men make me crazy.
I'm talking emotionally. I think any gender emotionally needy drains the person they're with.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 4:14:08 AM
Since "needed"is about a half an inch away from "resented," I'll go for "wanted" every time.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 5:17:42 AM
Taking this in the other direction, defining "needed" as "to play a significant positive unique part in someone else's life," then it could be a good thing instead.

I would prefer not to be someone else's life "fix," and be needed in that way. Being a meal ticket for someone is the obvious basic form of that sort of being needed, and it's always been a part of why children tend to resent parents.
 Kings_Knight
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 9
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 5:44:38 AM

" ... In a relationship, Would You Rather Be "Wanted" or "Needed"? ... "


Neither. 'Appreciated' will do quite nicely, thank you.

I fail to understand why people willingly limit their options to the 'either / or' schema when there are so many others available that can actually enrich their lives if they but employ them.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
- Hamlet Act 1, scene 5
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 10
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 5:52:51 AM
Wanted, you are a choice...Needed, sounds like a bandaid...
 tilark99
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 11
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 6:02:50 AM
Needed? No thanks. That sounds like a job, and I have one of those.

Oh yes, there are times when friends or loved ones "need" me for something. Usually those needs can be met by any trusted, competent human with the right skill set, its not unique to ME. And I am happy to be there for them on those occasions, and know they will be there for me when I need them to be.

But a relationship is about want.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 20
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:05:07 AM
Wanted

I'm not looking to be someone's mother...other than to my actual children.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 22
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:23:58 AM
I don't need you.
But if you want me, I'm yours.
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 23
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:13:48 AM
Wanted - without a doubt.

The word 'needed' has many bad connotations in how it relates to a relationship and no good can come of that!
 luv2lol
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 31
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 12:05:36 PM
Both depending on what part of the relationship you are talking about...but mostly wanted.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 33
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 12:34:31 PM
Can you choose, wanted and needed??? if so I choose both!
 Bill45644
Joined: 11/27/2009
Msg: 42
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:18:13 PM
Needed sound like being use..Like i got a house and a good job,so that why im staying with u?Wanted is something that you think about that person all the time and just need to be around him/her all the time or most of the time..
Their to many people out their looknig for a ride and they might tell the person they love them,just they know you got alot going for them than the last person..I think that is called being insecure..Agn..IMO
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 47
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:35:11 AM
Well I love it when my girl wants to knead my body,,

Anyway, need or want both play an important role in a any "Good Relationship" it's really up to the couple and each other personality, what those words mean to each other,,
 jeanmarie2
Joined: 8/1/2010
Msg: 53
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/8/2012 8:07:38 PM
I'd rather be "wanted". Children "need". Enough said.
 qualityl
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 56
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/8/2012 9:05:47 PM
Neither, Just special!
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 57
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/9/2012 7:29:18 AM
Personally – I want both! Being needed and wanted by someone in a healthy relationship should never have the negative implications of “being needy”.

People confuse being “needy/clingy” with being needed


I agree completely with this.......my GF and I are interdependent. We both have needs that are met by each other and have a very harmonious relationship. We are not "needy" or "clingy" with each other.....we both still run separate households and we both have successful jobs and we both have kids.

I've openly stated in my profile that I "need" a woman.....not for cleaning my clothes or cooking meals, but for love and companionship....I'm incomplete without it!!

Ya ya I can go through life without female companionship, but life is sure better with it!! I consider it a necessity for my emotional well being.........

Great post, Fire n Lace!!
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 58
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/9/2012 7:36:47 AM
....one more thing......

Ever notice that those who insist they don't "need" anyone but "want" someone are always the ones who are perpetually single?

Those that admit to having needs seem to be the ones in relationships.....at least on this forum anyway..........
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 60
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/9/2012 10:26:38 AM
I'd rather be wanted
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 61
Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/9/2012 11:12:42 AM
^^^^ Dreamfire,, well said..and I agree


Medical science has found it is possible to die of a broken heart......

I was one of those who had that heart attract after my wife passed away,,,,I was very healthy at the time I was 49yrs old..and now very lucky to be alive..as the doctors told me,, i should be dead,,,
 scamp118
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 62
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Would You Rather Be Wanted Or Needed In a Relationship?
Posted: 2/9/2012 11:20:38 AM
Wanted, not needed. A need is more of likely to be used and taken advantage. A want is past the need and might be a know desire or wish to be with you. Hence a wanted relationship, but it has to be healthy and mutual respect for each other. So many thoughts what a relationship is or should be that to each person it is different and never really discussed and rather is assumed. Relationship might mean marriage, or living together, or just going out. Define the what the meaning of the word is to them and you, and perhaps you might be on the same life page. Otherwise it will be nothing but a battle in many ways that no one with ever have success being in...Good luck.
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