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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Told me to get rid of my pets      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 2
Told me to get rid of my petsPage 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
The only problem I see is that you feel you have to ask this question. It's a no brainer, as far as I'm concerned. Someone you've dated briefly is dictating how you live your life? Heck, someone dictating your life no matter how long you've been together--not a red flag; it's an exit sign. Get off that highway, now.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 4
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:10:56 AM
I'd never give up my animals for a man...they are loyal, great to sleep with, cuddly, cute and I just always wanna pet them...

Yup, i'd keep em
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 6
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:22:48 AM
I am allergic to cats if I am around them all the time, so, that is a deal breaker if you want them at my place, but your place is yours, and I have no problem letting you enjoy your lifestyle, as long as you let me enjoy mine.

There are those that want to bring their dogs and cats over to my place for the weekend, and/or make them a part of our dating life, and I am good with well behaved animals, but for anyone to insist that I must do something because they want it that way, is just not going to work. Just as it would be for anyone to say get rid of them to you.

Just like smokers must go outside to smoke at my place, so will it be that if one has a pet over to my place, they had better know how to take care of them and keep my place the way I enjoy it, or leave them at home.

cd.........
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 7
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:24:35 AM
My cat and dog are like family. Any woman who told me I had to get rid of them for her would be history in a heartbeat. I hope you follow your common sense and tell this jerk to hit the road!
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 8
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:27:23 AM
How many cats do you have?

If it is less than three and that prompted him to respond that way you should just ignore and move on.

But if it is greater than three, I wouldn't quickly dismiss what he had to say IMO.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 10
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:32:29 AM

Do all men just hate cats?

Yes. Even the men that keep them and love them. We’re tricky like that.


Am I just doomed to failed dating as long as I have cats?

Yes. As long as you’re dating men. Hope is gone.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 11
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:33:32 AM
^^^^^Thats crazy funny!^^^^

Poor lady..
 biggdave29
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 12
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:35:14 AM
I have the same problem ... I've met women that I'm really interested in and then they would say something like I don't like animals or I'm allergic... sap to stop it for me right there. I have two beautiful cats that means the world to me... so I don't even let it get that far call I already know I'm not gonna get rid of my cats. it's like saying I'm going to get rid of a sure thing that loves me for something that might love me you don't have to be the crazy cat woman to say that you love your animals. people like that tend to be a little selfish... usually want all the attention that you put on to your animals put on to them . I suggest you find someone who loves animals just as much as you do.

Good luck

Dave
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 13
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:37:19 AM
OP: Ask your bf if he brings his motorcycle inside his home when he is there. It happens and could be the reason he does not want you inside his home. He does not have insurance to cover you when you slip on the oil all over the floor.

As pretty as you are a nice bf is the least of your problems, but I'm sure your present bf, you speak of is and will continue to be a dud.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 14
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:48:49 AM
Doesn't want you to have your pets? What next? He'll be getting you to 'dump' something else/someone else, soon, too.

He's a controller and manipulator.
 soo-girl
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 17
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 11:01:23 AM
I have a dog and a domestic rat. I am their family and this is their home. I love them dearly and they aren't going anywhere. Ever.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 20
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 11:21:31 AM
when he stayed over I put all the cats outside for the night.

HE would have been the one outside for the night! How could you allow him to treat your cats in such a disrespectful, abusive manner? They certainly were in danger, from Coyotes & other predators, &other hazards that cats left outside face. They are always in danger when left outside. They also bring fleas back into your house. I would NEVER treat my cats like you treat yours, but I don't want to get off topic.
Any guy who told me get rid of my pets would be be out the door so fast, his head would spin. I have an 11 year old German Shephard & 3 rescue cats. I love them all, they're family, & we are a package deal.
What kind of a person would tell you to "dump your cats?" Is this a person w/any morals or values? Is this a person who has any compassion or empathy for another living, defenseless creature? To "dump" an animal, is to have it starve to death, sucumb to the elements, or to other predators. This man is nothing more than piece of excrement who sees nothing wrong w/having a cat die slowly, painfully, alone & terrified, by "dumping" them,...
And this is the kind of man you want to be with? Date a man who respects you & your pets, it's a package deal!
 Former_Yamaha650_Rider
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 22
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 11:40:53 AM
Of course you're not doomed to fail dating.

Taking care of an animal is a committment that should not be broken unless there are circumstances that would make it impossible to care for them.

What if you were to "get rid" of them and two weeks later he dumps you? How would that make you feel? Not good I venture to guess. He has good qualities but so does many men. Obviously one of this ones good qualities is not respect for a life.

I'd never get rid of my cat in favour for a man. Never.
 tilark99
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 23
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 11:43:59 AM
Oh my, I'm having trouble seeing the keyboard to type my reply, too many red flags blocking my vision!

No, you do not dump your pets, your hobbies, your friends or family members for some guy that calls you a crazy cat lady and has excuses for why you can't come to his house. Actually, in a perfect world, you don't sleep with such men either but that was not your question.

5 cats might be a lot, but animal rescue types almost always have more animals than the general population think is reasonable. You did not hide this upfront, but you will probably need to realize that more than 1-2 animals will seem excessive to a lot of people, and include that in your "get to know each other" communications. I have more than 1-2 animals, so speaking from experience. Move on, you can do better.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 12:22:58 PM
If you have children and the guy you're with doesn't like children, would you dump the children? People who get rid of a pet to snag a guy or girl are called desperate and are red flag wavers.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 25
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 12:38:41 PM
I grew up with a dog, and 2 cats, they where a part of my family,they all died of old age
I have personally had one cat for 19 years, who died of old age, now I have 2
there is no way anybody is going to tell me to get RID of THEM!!!
the man is a jerk,his request says a lot about him
RUN!!!!!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 26
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 12:50:17 PM
I started dating this guy, I really like him. Things moved really fast. I told him up front that I had both cats and dogs and that I was active in an animal rescue group. He seemed to be okay with it. He mentioned he doesn't like cats, when he stayed over I put all the cats outside for the night. (I live on a 10 acre wooded lot, so they weren't in danger of being run over.) They are all inside outside cats anyway.
WWWWWWWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!?
YOU put your cats OUTSIDE cuz some guy SAID SO??? as soon as he said he didn't like cats, he should have been outta there...

One of the cats walked on his motorcycle, he made a mention of it later in the week. He continued to see me, he came to my house two more time since that first time.
YOU allowed that piece of chit in your home???

The last time he came to my house, after sex mind you, he said, "You are bordering on a Crazy Cat Lady, you need to get rid of your cats. It's a deal breaker."
I cannot believe I am reading this...that YOU allowed it to get to this????

I told him, "You knew I had the cats when you started dating me." He even suggested that I dump the cats.
I'm hyperventilating already...

The question here is: Do you ever chose a potential mate over your pets? Is this a control issue or should we just go to his house (by the way he has excuses why I can't come over to his house, but that's another thread all together)? Do all men just hate cats? I don't have that many cats, either, just 5, three of which are always outside. Am I just doomed to failed dating as long as I have cats?

I'm still talking to him, but I've started dating other men as a result of this. I've kind of decided that he's a jerk, but he has good qualities too.
WTF IF I SAID WHAT I SHOULD SAY I WOULD GET BANNED FROM POF FOR A GAZILLION YEARSgasp...my chest is tightened right now...the fact that you allowed it to go past the first horrible statement tells me you have a problem bigger than the guy you dated

Proud to be a "crazy Cat Lady" here #5 is coming to my home this week, pulled by a rescue group to get her saved from the "killing place" in NYC
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 28
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 1:03:00 PM
he is a BEAST
he is a BEAST
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 29
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History
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 1:21:31 PM
You sound like a wonderful, caring and good person!!, helping all those cats
please, please!!! dump this guy
he is a first class jerk, control freak,and heartless
screw his other qualities
believe me you will get hurt by this guy!!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 33
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 3:15:08 PM

OP: He's not a horrible guy, he's a great dad, just has different values from me.


Bullchit. He IS a horrible guy and a horrible dad. His kid is going to end up being a cat/animal hater like the dad-like father, like son. A good guy would respect any animal's right to live, especially in a loving home and teach his kid to respect animals. Doesn't sound like he would teach that to any kid.
 ThatGuy1082
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 35
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 3:43:26 PM
Too may people put too much emphesis on pets. On the one hand, your animals bring you joy, you feel good because you may have rescued them. However, cats and not people. I know women who are crazy cat ladies, perhaps that's why their still single? Who wants to constantly have cat hair on their clothes, cat paw prints on their vehicles and on the countertops? Get your priorities straight and realize animals are not people.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 37
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 5:32:40 PM
He IS a horrible guy and a horrible dad.

I met a couple of women who do animal rescue & one told me a story about something that happened @ an adoption event they hosted in a chain petstore...there was a cute kitty, a Daddy & his daughter looked at it from afar, when they got up closer, the little girl saw that the kitty had only one eye. She got scared & screamed that it was a monster & they walked away. Ten minutes later, they came back & adopted THAT kitty.
That dad was a great Dad who taught her an invaluable lesson.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 39
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 6:54:20 PM
I have had cats my whole life. will not be giving them up. a man can accept or tolerate, or hit the road. in fact i mention in my profile i have two cats.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 40
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 7:02:44 PM
OP: I guess you have to spell it out for some guys. Add in your profile that anyone who contacts you MUST be an animal lover, including cats. In the initial contact, ask the guy if he is an animal lover. If not, tell them to hit the road.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 42
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:19:16 PM
"Do all men just hate cats"....Too funny, check the pic in my profile. Most of mine go in and out as they please through the cat door..I think any person that does not love a cat is incapable of loving another person. It's simply not possible to be able to love someone while not able to love an animal.

LOL Again...."I don't have that many cats...just 5".... I have said those exact words every time someone asks me "How many cats do you have?".

Handcuff him to the litter box with a pooper scooper and a bucket.

So your question is "Do you ever chose a potential mate over your pets?"... I repose the question as "Do you ever chose your pets over a potential mate?"

The answer is YES.
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