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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Will I be getting played by this girl?      Home login  
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 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 2
Will I be getting played by this girl?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I like this girl but she's obviously still playing around with the ex in some form or fashion. Unsure what to do other than continue to play it cool.


I have to agree.

keep it on auto pilot; you're nowhere near clear of any afterbreak up turblance from her end. In fact; you're probably on the way to being the mid relationship fling or rebound sex. (no offence intended)


 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 5:39:05 PM
Anyone that would say "I've got him right where I want him".......is playing a game and not worth much in my mind.

Now, if she is using you to play him and for just some fun and games, then why not play her by enjoying her, and not letting yourself fall for her at all. Seems to me that you can have your cake and eat it too....so to speak, and if she changes her mind and wants you....."you have her just where you want her".......

cd.............
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 5
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 5:42:08 PM

I'm cautious. She might be using me as a temporary fix while she plays the power struggle game with this other guy.


You got that right.

Is she going to play you?

Are you going to let her?
 Former_Yamaha650_Rider
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 8
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:19:40 PM
Do you really want to get close to a person like her? She is obviously a princess and is proud of it. If that's what you like, go for it. You will soon be the object of her demands.
I guess you don't care about common decency?
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 9
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:29:26 PM
You think you're going to win her over and make her forget about her ex.

Who knows, the gamble might pay off and you'll "get her".

But it probably won't last, anyone who is jumping into something new while still engaging with an "ex" who is not really an "ex" is to say the least, somewhat "lost" and doesn't have a clue what they want. She's probably comparing you to her ex every which way, doing that whole "spreadsheet pros and cons" thing we all do. The only difference is you're not competing with other guys who she's recently met, you're being compared to a guy she supposedly was involved with and shared deep feelings and intimacy and has a lot of history with and who she most likely cares about. How do you compete with that? Why would you WANT to compete with that?

It probably wouldn't hurt to find out more about why they're having problems in the first place. Could be he's messing around with her.. or messing around on her with someone else and she's just trying to make him jealous and she'll take him back if he wants back, even though he's a cheater. That would totally suck for you. Then again maybe they're just not compatible and she knows it and she's trying to find a replacement rather than just cut the cord and be single a while. That sucks too, but lots of us do it, including myself and it's not necessarily a dealbreaker for you. Those are just two possibilities of many.

So, that much being said, if she's a hottie, and you seem to have a lot in common, and you're enjoying being with her and you're willing to spend the time and effort knowing there's a good chance this thing won't go anywhere, then knock yourself out.
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 10
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:18:36 PM
She's just trying to make her ex jealous with rage so he can take her back and then you will be left with your balls hanging.....Get a ****ing clue already, come on, you know exactly what's going on here. It's one thing when someone is unaware that they are being played but when you are aware of it and continue to let it happen then you deserve exactly what you get and don't complain about it!!!!! Just Saying!!!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 11
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:34:42 PM
have you tried co cky and funny?
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 12
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:39:30 PM
"I'VE GOT HIM RIGHT WHERE I WANT HIM" Really Op? why are you attracted to manipulators?? The thrill of the challenge will wear off and then you'll be left with.. ---
--- A MANIPULATING POWER BROKER!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 9:04:59 PM

I like this girl but she's obviously still playing around with the ex in some form or fashion. Unsure what to do other than continue to play it cool.

If she still has anything to do with her ex, don't expect anything but sex.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 15
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/6/2012 9:07:25 PM
Don't focus on her, and focus on other women as well. That's what I say...maybe you are a tool, maybe you aren't...don't invest a lot and it won't matter.
 BeeRad82
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 20
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 5:20:29 AM

Is there a pre-teen section now?


Yeah but it's called "single women aged 21-30".
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 22
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 5:58:22 AM
RUN NOW

___________
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 25
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 8:03:57 AM
OP I don't believe your that naive or dumb to not see what is going on here.......or are you???????????????
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 26
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 9:12:26 AM
She is using you as a tool to manipulate someone else. In an ideal world, you and her ex would get together and go to football and baseball games and shoot pool and completely ignore her.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 10:49:50 AM
Make sure the ex isn't moonlighting as a Mafia hit man in his spare time.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 29
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 11:17:42 AM

Met a very attractive, outgoing chick through a good guy friend of mine….Double date on my first meetup with all 4 of us there. On the way, my buddy tells me that this girl im meeting is still talking to her ex. Saying things like "I've got him right where I want him" which is in reference to her ex.


Good grief with this. If your supposed friend knew she’s still messing with her ex, why did he set you up with her in the first place? Yet, SHE’S the bad guy, right?

Sounds like you should upgrade your friends. He set you up, all right, and you LET HIM.


...pulled all the usual gentleman moves...


 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 33
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 1:42:47 PM
if she's hot..catch her on the rebound..and bang her brains out..you may never get a 2nd chance..
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 35
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 4:13:50 PM

HockeyFF:Here's the problem with a lot of you POF people. You guys throw extreme judgement down without knowing all the fine details. He did not know about this until during the car ride to the date. All three of them were riding in the car together and I was coming in my car.

He didn't set me up. lol. Jesus...


At the very least he didn't do his homework.

The net effect is still the same.

Some friend.

 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 37
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 5:43:09 PM
She's playing a big game w/her ex, why would you be treated any different? She's playing this game as a way to manipulate him into wanting her. Walk away before you get attached, she'll play you just like she is playing him.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 39
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 6:33:45 PM

Here's the problem with a lot of you POF people. You guys throw extreme judgement down without knowing all the fine details.


Asking why your buddy set you up with a woman who’s messing with her ex is “extreme judgment”?

What’s the point of this thread? You ask the obvious, then go ahead down the road to being played while pretending you’re the one doing the playing.

 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 41
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 6:52:23 PM
"On the way, my buddy tells me that this girl im meeting is still talking to her ex."

Ahhh, I would have said, drop me off at the next corner, I'll catch a cab home!

Why, oh why do guys start things with someone who obviously has an outside agenda? There is nothing there, "I've got him right where I want him" means you start out running second to her obvious plans. She isn't meeting you objectively, only subjectively to further her plans to either undo or convince her ex of something.

Wake up pal, your being played.
 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 43
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 8:22:29 PM

have you tried co cky and funny?


I see you've read some of Mr. DeAngelo's writings, MutedEnthusiasm!
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 44
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 9:30:30 PM


Yes. The more we talk the more we have in common. I'm treading treacherous waters for sure. I'm playing things extremely laid back and letting her compliment me, and come onto me. I feed her little rewards of praise when I am rewarded. LOL. I sound like a tool there but I have to be cautious with this one for sure.


Seems to me a lot people in this forum are maggots and only offer criticism and negativity to legit questions. Happened to me last night. But I'll shoot straight with you. You are treading in dangerous territory IF you're the type that falls hard and easily for women that rev your motor. So if you are, get that in check before you continue on.

Here's what I would do if I were in your position. And, I have been before.

Be mentally disciplined and stay even keeled at all times. Do NOT take her seriously until you've slept with her, and do NOT get heavier than her. Let her ex act like the needy wuss bag while you act attractive by being cool, funny, and even keeled. If you do make it to the bedroom with her, do everything in your power to give her better sex than she got from the ex. You'll probably only get one chance, and it could be her deciding factor. So make it count. The odds are, he wasn't that good in this department.

And keep this in your head at all times: She is purely entertainment until you sleep with her, AND she gets emotionally heavy with you. It is possible to for you to replace her ex. But know full well, at this stage, she WILL be comparing you to him in everything you do.
 Axwell
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 45
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 11:15:07 PM
Pure ****ing brillance in a post.

Above me that is.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 46
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/8/2012 10:47:30 AM
"Seems to me a lot people in this forum are maggots and only offer criticism and negativity to legit questions."

Gee, that sounds nice!

So in answer to the question in the title "Will I be getting played by this girl?", you propose he play her! Nice!

Your answer is to keep his emotions out of the relationship until X happens. X being sleeping with her and out performing her ex. Gotta luv an attitude like that.

So if he proceeds with your plan, neither is real, she is using him to get something from her ex and he is trying to control her with sex.

Wouldn't it be simpler to find an available woman without the hangups of an ex?
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