Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I Overreacting?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 2
Am I Overreacting?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
" I still have the lingering feeling that something isn't right"
________________________________________

I'd go with that.^^^
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 11:42:04 AM

Is it wrong for me or crossing the line by telling her to stop talking to this guy?

determine what kind of relationship you want. then determine what you two have before you determine its boundaries. it sounds like you want exclusivity. if so, tell her you want that, and what kind of behavior is acceptable and unacceptable to you in that context. note that this isn't issuing a set of marching orders to her - it's telling her what the consequences of her behavior are for you.

for example, that when she talks about some guy's schwantz, you get the impression she wants to bang said guy, which creates an atmosphere of distrust, and distrust erodes the relationship. when the relationship is sufficiently erodes, it ends. this isn't saying 'never talk to this dude!' it's saying, 'if you continue as you have, i will not be able to trust you, and i can only be in a relationship with someone i trust.' (just an example, your chain of circumstances, consequences and language may be different).

remember too, that when you call for your boundaries to be respected, you are only credible if you respect those same boundaries in others. that is, you walk your talk.

question: did you and miss drunk dial have a recent fight, and this is her payback?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 12:22:40 PM
She's not your girlfriend, you've only known her a short time and guess what, you don't like her. Also you are her ride, not her boyfriend, you take her places where she can get drunk, hunt for the guy she really wants to date, and treat you like a first-rate fool.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 1:23:55 PM
Sorry, but I don't discuss human activities with badly dressed bottles of beer.
 Bee_Woods
Joined: 2/7/2012
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 2:13:48 PM
Lmao brody...smh. chicks like that are no good. ignore her childish a** better yet just cut her off.. an fine you ah real women.. keep fishing bro
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 16
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 2:15:53 PM
Throw this fish back into the pond, burn a wait out. Cuz she's done like burnt toast.
 MelElle
Joined: 6/26/2010
Msg: 18
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 2:48:27 PM
In my experience, the way you start a relationship suggests what will happen in the relationship later on. If a woman (or girl in this instance) is really serious about you, there will not be room for another guy. If things are still fresh between you two and this is how she behaves then you should really consider moving on to the next one. . .
 Angel924
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 3:43:56 PM
Get away from her, as far as possible a fast as possible. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of class, first of all, which I understand might not matter to you. However she also clearly doesn't respect you in the least bit. She might be young and immature, but if she really liked you she'd try to put her best foot forward when you are around, which is obviously not the case. And if she's pulling this kind of crap now and you take it I can only imagine what she's gonna try to pull down the road... save your pride (and your wallet lol) and stay the hell away from her
 Jayne0927
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 3:55:31 PM
Tell her to go back to that "super cute" guy and admire his c***. End of story.
 Former_Yamaha650_Rider
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 22
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 4:36:45 PM
He's just taking advantage of her not acknowledging your relationship. Don't blame him for her doing.

Show her the door, why would you want to stick with her? She treats you like the dirt on her shoes. Of course she claims you have nothing to worry about. You're her little lap dog.

Learn to set boundaries if you have a GF. What she did is not OK and you should have stopped the car and opened the door for her the moment she talked about drunk calling the guy.

You're the problem hun, learn to stand up for yourself.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 5:12:25 PM
News flash! She is not your girlfriend!
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 5:24:39 PM
OP You are not overreacting for being her condolence prize.
 Twizler1993
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 27
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 7:03:35 PM
You are not overreacting at all. That is insainly out of line. Though, I wouldn't tell her to completely stop talking to him. My ex best friend got a gf, we've been close friends for over a year when she came along. And, I mean he was my best friend. And she had the nerve to text me and tell me that I needed to back the hell off and yada yada. And in the end, he dropped me for her. Gawd I was hurt... anyways. She as a gf crossed the line with her drunken call and rambling and how she was acting with him at the bowling ally. You shouldn't tell her to not see him anymore. But sit down with her and tell her how it kills when she does that and you don't want to loose her and such. Being a girl, I would respect that very much if I had a bf who would do that. Talking is key. We're girls, you know how much we like to talk :D
 is204
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 29
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/11/2012 11:53:08 PM
No you're absolutely right. First off look at the age difference. I know the saying "age is but a number" she's 21 an immature tw*t that she is and a ho at that to say the least. In all honesty I'd want to beat the pulp out of him too. But you know what he's actually doing you a favour by her flaunting around like a shameless ho that she and to even sit on his lap knowing that you two are supposed to be "together" is insulting to you as a man but disrespectful regardless of how you look at it.

Tell you what , invite her to a very expensive restaurant and ditch her with the bill. Or what you could do is the switcheroo...Make sure you hittin her doggie by the blinds tell her you gotta do something real quick have your buddy come in with the quickness while you sneak off and hit that shit like there was no tomorrow then after few minutes have him open the blinds with you running outside waving to her...end of story.
 Lauren940
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 33
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 10:27:34 AM
No you are not. You need to just drop her. As a woman I would not deal with my man drunk calling another female. She knows better and is not at the same place you. You need to move on before she hurts you and she will. Good Luck
 quarked
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 10:38:52 AM

Personally, I want to beat the shit out of him, but that won't solve anything.


This would be overreacting, and like you said, wouldn't solve anything. I'm with the other posters. The best advice I can give is don't date 21 year-old girls.
 missmary1963
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 1:06:06 PM
Ok A little ranting here! The problem is that society as a whole has just stopped having any morals, respect or consideration for each other. Does no one learn the basics anymore? The "girl" (I know 10 year olds that have better manners!) obviously has not learned basic etiquette. She has NO concern for you or anyone else but herself. You should have dumped her after the phone call she made. "Drunk" calling?? Seriously don't excuse her rudeness because she had a few drinks. People who are drunk KNOWS what they are doing they just have lost their inhibition to not do crappy behavior. Call it what it was D*** RUDE and WRONG! If you let people treat you that way you will unfortunately will always let it happen. Stand up for yourself and how you desire to be treated (with respect). Stay away from idiots like her. Hope you find someone that is deserving of you.
 A_Dave_New_World
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:02:17 PM
No your not overreacting. Perhaps your spidey sense is tingling. In life we often gat a 'vibe' about things. In my opinion after evaluating the the evidence (I'm a policeman after all), I'd put and end to this brief relationship as she's already sown the seeds for making you unhappy in the future.
 Timmahh88
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 44
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:15:41 PM
Chuck it back and run for you life, if she isn't cheating on you already she will eventually!
 0gental1
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 10:37:47 PM
go with your gut and remember your hapiness matters, she is young and your a few years older, so you need to let her have her chance to get around and see what life has to offer for a 21/22 year old. Some girls will have it made and once they hit 21 and go to the bars it take s a while for them to chill. Same goes with guys. But if she isnt paying attintion to you in front of this guy and dont want to even respect you two and he can't make eye conttac. Yes soemthing isnt right, but you also have to think DRUNKIN WORDS ARE SOBER THOUGHTS for some. Good luck and i hope you find the advice you are seeking.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 48
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 2/19/2012 11:06:01 PM
My gf hugs him once again and then he sits on her lap for a few minutes.
So after that she was still your girlfriend?
Why does the word DOORMAT come to mind when I read your post?
 letstakeachance1
Joined: 2/20/2011
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 3/5/2012 5:46:24 PM
nope give her the boot quick and dont look back or if u can emotionally distance your self from her then , play the field and keep her as ur toy on ur time and terms, but i guess that can be seen as childish but oh well :)
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 54
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 3/6/2012 2:31:09 AM
I'd love to hear how things have gone for this young man. Hopefully he is away from her and not incarcerated for beating up his girlfriends boyfriend.
 Slayer-Fan
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 55
Am I Overreacting?
Posted: 3/6/2012 3:23:11 AM
Dump her and run....
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Am I Overreacting?