Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 thermal2
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 1
view profile
History
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Simple question: how do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?

What's the best way for a couple to break up so that both parties feel at peace?
 Yankee again
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 2
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/12/2012 10:20:04 PM
There is no way. Make your peace and they will make their peace and move on.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 3
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:49:57 AM
Good luck with that!
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 4
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:57:44 AM
do it quick..pull it off like a band-aid..
 Hopeneverdissapoints
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 5
view profile
History
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:12:49 AM
Remember the Band-aid rule:
Quick, decisive, and in one, fluid motion.

Breaking up always hurts. It only hurts more if you drag it out.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 6
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 9:58:40 AM
HER: I think we need to take a break.
HIM: Are you breaking up with me?!?!?
HER: NO! I'm just taking time for myself. Of COURSE there is a chance we'll get back together again..

3 months later :

HIM: (POF thread) "SHE BROKE UP WITH ME FOR NO REASON!!! Has anyone ever experienced this?!?!? "

Sound Familiar? lol
 09HopeCopy
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 7
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 6:27:17 PM
With out hurting there feelings? LoL, that's life. Try with a therapist.. I could take a couple (few) of sessions if you are living together. It is also advisable that they also get a therapist/psychologist, as usually the professional is bound to one party in a situation such as this.

 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 8
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 6:31:47 PM
That's a hard one. To break up without hurting feelings. To be honest I think there is going to be hurt. But time heals all wounds.
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 9
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 6:52:55 PM
my uncle told me a deal is only a deal if both parties involved feel like they have given up something....this isnt the case in breakups, some one is ALWAYS left hanging.....
 palmy08
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 10
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 7:07:18 PM
Totally agree with your opinion >>>>> Think of it like taking off a band-aid - either do it quickly for minimal pain, or take it off slowly and feel the pain for a lot longer. >>>> GREAT!

Cheers,
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 11
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 7:14:59 PM
Get her to break up with you.

You're a guy.
So you got tons of ways to bring that about.

Watch that show Two and 1/2 Men
or the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
for some tips.

but for most women,
mentioning a threesome oughta work.
 luv2lol
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 12
view profile
History
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:39:11 PM
I think boarderdad50 had the best suggestions.

-Be honest but not brutally so...make sure you know what you want to say beforehand so you don't say something you don't mean
- explain why you are doing it and let them ask their questions so they can make sense of it. People can accept and move on without baggage when they understand and the other person has shown them respect and consideration. People want to feel they matter...or at least mattered.
- sooner is better then later
- take responsibility for your part in it...but don't do the "it's not you, it's me" and pretend to be a tortured soul (barf)
- Don't lie...they'll know its a line of bs and it will hurt more (who's heard "I'm not ready for a relationship" only to see that person back on POF the next day)
- don't try to get them to break up with you. Have more integrity then that and it will hurt them more and drive you nuts
- and don't chicken out, take off and say nothing. It makes things linger on longer then they need to
 joeholecek72
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 13
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/13/2012 10:23:19 PM
You bont but they will respect you later 4 Bing up front and not giving them the cold shoulder
 TD625
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 14
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/14/2012 7:32:53 AM
Simple answer......You don't.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 15
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/15/2012 12:25:00 AM
this question always cracks me up.

"how do you hurt someone without hurting them". lol; YOU CAN'T!!

There isn't going to be peace because one party always thinks they've been wronged and maybe they have. Again, just be honest and move on.

Someones going to be hurt and that's the way it is. Be swift, and be sensitive and move on.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 16
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/15/2012 1:46:05 AM
The person whose feelings you are concerned with sparing... are your own.

You don't want to face how uncomfortable it will be, how you will feel guilty for hurting them.. as though a break up from you will ruin their entire existence..

Seriously, just do it.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 17
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:32:35 AM
My god you are over the age of 30.... Do you have a potential bunny boiler there?? Otherwise, why would you care??


Simple question: how do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?

Simple answer. You say, "let's be friends". Haven't you heard?? It's all over the forums...... check "broken hearts" first.


What's the best way for a couple to break up so that both parties feel at peace?

Basically, you arrange for your own "untimely demise" and get a new identity in another state, if not Bulgaria. Get on the bus, Gus. No need to discuss much.


Get her to break up with you.

Forgot about that one. Yes there are many ways to scare somebody off, particularly if you know them. On the other hand, I see potential for that backfiring... hilarity ensues. Let us know how it goes, please.
 Hopeneverdissapoints
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 18
view profile
History
How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?
Posted: 2/17/2012 1:02:10 PM

Cue Dan Hill

And sometimes when we touch.

"I'd rather hurt you honestly, than mislead you with a lie."


Or Kenny Loggins:
"I did it for you...and the boys..."

Honestly my ex-wife expects me to someday thank her for dumping me...
The point is never try to break up with someone and then pin it on "I'm really dumping you for your sake."

Such condescension only hurts.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How do you break up with someone without hurting their feelings?