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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?      Home login  
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 1
How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?Page 1 of 1    
Hey guys, how do you keep motivated in your 30's?
Here's my story, this just happened today, and I thought I'd share.
This is how you know that you've been single too long (9 years and counting 2003-present). I will be turning the big 30 early April this year.

February 13th, 2012, the day before Valentine's day.
7AM woke up and off the gym spin class, amazing workout, then off to shower, work etc...

12PM lunch break from work.
It's the day before Valentine's day, which of course I know. Asked a potential date (who actually was interested in going out a week ago, but was starting to flake a bit lately) out for
Valentine's, but she said she had other plans. Ok, fine - it takes two interested people to make a date. I'll never know why she wasn't interested, but such is life, move on.

Done with work.

My dad's birthday is coming up and my friend's birthday is this Friday, plus I gotta buy tickets for the Indian Wells tennis tournament for my mom's birthday in late March. I've already bought certificates at Costco last week to redeem for delicious See's candies. I finish buying the IW tennis tickets courtside ($300/pc) for my mom and head out to finish buying the See's candy.

I arrive at See's Candy, and stare around in amazement as the line for candy is miles long at 7:22PM on Monday!!! "What the heck?" I think to myself.
I turn to the man in front of the line, in his mid 40's and say
me: Excuse me, are you the last in line?
him: Yeah, I'm the last.
me: Hmm, it's 7:22PM on Monday, pretty long line, eh!? (said in an excited happy voice as I'm really on top of my game today, zipped through my to-do list)
him: Yep, it's a long line (said in a cheerful voice)
me: Maybe it's the birthdays clumped around this time! There are a lot of birthdays that I know of that are in mid late February. I'm actually buying candy for two birthdays, my mom and a friend. Silly idea of course, but you know coincidences happen.
him: Yeah, there are coincidences (he chuckled).

I call my mom to let her know we got the tickets for Indian Wells. We discuss plans on how to get one more ticket for my brother also. What candy does dad prefer, "soft centers?", perfect I got that covered!

At the end, I ask mom:
"Hey mom, it's really strange, it's 7:22PM on Monday and the line at See's is miles long".
"Well, it's Valentine's day tomorrow."

Yep, have been single too long.
I totally failed to put two and two together.

Driving home and feeling totally insecure. This is going be the n-th year without real dates and it's Valentine's day tomorrow, and I'm going to be single. Again. How could I possibly not figure out it was Valentine's day? Am I am poor boyfriend?

Got home. Was feeling absolutely fantastic the entire day since 7AM, but now the insecurity is completely taking over.

The solution to get rid of the insecurity (I still have a ton of business that I need to ship
tomorrow morning, and must maintain focus) is to write this note and release it. Let it go. Post it on POF for the good people to read, and print it. Throw the printed version away. Done.

I'm still single, and yes dating in the 30's is different we can all appreciate that.
But, I'm making time to date, and making changes. I'm adapting, I always have and I always will!

Completely turned my life around since 2008, despite having horrendous financial circumstances, ultra low self-esteem, being ultra lonely, and absolutely no dates at all between 2003-2010. I now have a full time salaried job, plus a home based business earning 50% of my salaried job, massive cash savings and 401k, and business school on top of all. Most importantly I'm now the worlds number one positive thinker! :) Fit, no bad habits, good social skills and I'm starting to get good dates.
Just haven't the found the right one yet. It will happen.

Keep the faith!
It will happen for you too!

Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 2
How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?
Posted: 2/13/2012 10:32:26 PM
congrats on your success, tele. valentine's day is nothing but hype. if you're single and happy, that's all that should really matter. i'm sort of in the same boat as you. focused on getting myself where i need to be and more successful and healthier now than i've ever been but still haven't found anyone to share my life with. and you know what? i'm cool with it. i know i'll be single on valentine's day. it's just another day. in your case, you're not wasting money or time like so many other idiots on the wrong partner. you're not dating someone who you know is wrong just for the sake of saying you're in a relationship or just to have a date for v-day. if you care about someone, you do something special for them on any given day, not just one.

keep doing what you're doing, keep your standards high, don't settle for the wrong girl. you're not doing anything wrong. being single is a good thing sometimes. the life you're creating for yourself, the right chick will appreciate when the time is right for you both. i don't think age matters as much in dating as does emotional and intellectual maturity. i could go on a ton of dates with a ton of chicks but i know it wouldn't lead to anywhere beyond just sex. i want more than that. you'd think as we get older, as we've been on a certain number and certain types of dates, our standards would better develop. in my 30's, and especially where i'm at in my life now, i go on far fewer dates (by choice). when i was less successful with lower standards, a date (and sex) was easy to get. no plans here as a single guy on v-day other than passing the time as normal. when the right girl comes along, every day can be v-day.
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?
Posted: 2/14/2012 4:03:11 AM
chocolates with soft creamy whiskey centers... hmmm.
why don't they have those?

Not much into these type holidays... commercialized and all....
when you are in a relationship, each day should be expressionsd of love, not once a year...

so... I'm not into holidays much, more so when the stores fill up and suggest what you are to "buy" to create the "correct" sentiment.

I like days after holidays, all the candy is half price !
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?
Posted: 2/14/2012 4:04:16 AM
Lucky for me, the same mental defect that got my ex mad at me for forgetting the damn day every year, stands me wonderfully now that I'm alone. I just have to remember to watch for candy on super-low sale the few days after, and try not to indulge too much.
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 5
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How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?
Posted: 2/14/2012 8:34:24 AM
Y'all better get a grip, Sweetest Day is only a few months away
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 6
How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?
Posted: 12/21/2012 12:20:57 AM
strange, do you show your wealth off? the dating potential for valentines is excellent provided you have genuine wealth and show it off. new mercedes really would get you a chick.

however,, the valentines dates are a one time thing, qaurunteed to bleed you dry.

a typical dinner/movie/flower/coffee is supposed to average at 100-140 dollars.

staying home and watching tv is well free. and more rewarding when you realize your just getting used for a single dinner date.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > How do you motivate yourself, single the day before Valentine's day?