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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me      Home login  
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 Gitter63
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 1
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa mePage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I've just passed my 49th birthday and for the past few months, I've been plagued with thoughts about the fact that in less than a year I'll be 50. I'm wondering where my life has gone and where it's going. I'm assuming I'm having a "mid life evaluation" (which I thought I'd already had in my early 40's)

Has anyone else gone through this? Thoughts about your past, regrets, fears that the future is hurtling towards you faster than a speeding bullet, the overwhelming realization that.. this.. THIS... is as good as it'll ever get?

Not to mention, dating at this age. Is it still possible? I know I"m not feeble minded or bent over a cane or anything but the elasticity of my youth is gone, along with gravity related body parts. lol. Do men still find women in their 50's attractive or are they searching for their version of eternal youth?

This isn't a pity thread. I'm honestly wanting to know if people went through a period of "re-adjustment" or felt overwhelmed by the thought of their 50th birthday approaching? How did you overcome it and how long did it take to "settle in to the 50's"?
Thanks for your thoughts.
 Jazzplenty2012
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 2
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 9:10:58 PM
I say don't think about tomorrow think about today!!!! Don't waste your time with silly thoughts!!! Life is too short and we can all say that regardless of our age! so go out enjoy yourself because that's all all of us can do, regardless of our age!!!! Hope that helped!!!!
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 3
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 9:29:47 PM
45 here and been thinking about it my self. What gets me the most is that I'm not as strong physically as i used to be.. Cant backpack as far and as fast as i used to be. So now i need to work out even harder to do the same thing i used to do before. Lucky me most everyone in my family lives to 90 and over and everyone were indenpended till the last days... so that means i can live for another 45 years before i die.. got to make sure as best as i can to make the most of it . What scares me the most would be to live long and die in a wheel chair. I dont want to live the last few years sitting on a porch watching time move..
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 4
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 9:30:29 PM

I'm honestly wanting to know if people went through a period of "re-adjustment"

I hate getting old so I'm not doing any re-adjusting.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 5
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 9:43:47 PM

Do men still find women in their 50's attractive or are they searching for their version of eternal youth?


I don't know about men, I know at times I look in the mirror and say ...WTF!

I just broke up and un-hid my profile and some days I have been simply overwhelmed with responses and I want to write to them and ask...you realize Im 52...why are you acting like this! ..and I have to say that some of them are just out and out gorgeous, some the same age but most within 5 years of my age... It is like Im flattered but Im not sure why ...

I guess we are our own worse critic...I think I honestly see myself the way I am and others are seeing in me what they wish to see...it makes me back off of them cause I think there is a big disappointment for someone up ahead.

Now what really gets to me is when they decide to send you current pictures and you find they are 10 to 15 years old like a guy did tonight...nice enough guy but if he is refusing to accept his aging and post current pics I see that as a potential nightmare.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 10:44:36 PM
Aw heck, forget about the odometer, just keep making each day the best it can be.

And there seem to be plenty of us here from both genders so opportunity is still there for us. As for we 50 something men finding women in their 50's attractive, some I find attractive and some not so much, but it was the same with women my age during the previous decades too. As always for me, reasonable fitness and a good attitude go a long way. Grey hair and an extra few wrinkles mean little if there's a big grin in the middle of it all, especially if that grin is directed my way.
 SimplyEric
Joined: 6/17/2010
Msg: 7
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 11:23:03 PM
I'm "only" 42 but what works for me is I date girls 20 years younger than I am, I work out everyday to keep a great shape and live for today only. Otherwise, If I'm trying to act like I'm 42, I get lost and all confused LOL
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 8
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/16/2012 11:59:55 PM
^^ lol profile says 43...is that one of your lost and confused moments :P

I think one thing that makes a person seem older is not keeping up with the world around us. Sometimes you mention things like Facebook, Twitter, Smartphones, Ipad, etc. I know a man who is on dial up to connect to the internet, he gets upset that if someone calls he gets bumped off!

It is your outlook and attitude that determines where you will go in life, that is as true now as what it was at 20.
 DrGeek
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 9
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:49:24 AM
Not scared, but I totally wasn't prepared for how much 45+ was going to totally suck. Didn't have an appreciation for that at all, nor did any of the guys I work with. For all you 20/30 somethings reading this...don't waste time. Life ends at 45. So be nice to your SO & live like your going to die at 45.

Speaking of death, the 50s is definitely entering the danger zone. People start dropping like flies after 50. Can be healthy as anyone, but you never know what kind of genetic time bomb is ticking inside you. Hell, I might drop dead while typing thi
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 10
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 2:46:33 AM
or felt overwhelmed by the thought of their 50th birthday approaching?

This doesn't have anything to do with your 50th birthday, really. That will be just another day like yesterday and tomorrow. I don't see you freaking out because tomorrow is Saturday. OMG HOW WILL YOU SETTLE INTO THE WEEKEND???


If you think 50 is scary, just wait until you start approaching 95!


Has anyone else gone through this? Thoughts about your past, regrets, fears that the future is hurtling towards you faster than a speeding bullet, the overwhelming realization that.. this.. THIS... is as good as it'll ever get?

Yep! Went through all that about 22 years ago. "30" was an eye-opener for me. Took me about a week to get over it. I pissed and moaned for days about all the things I thought I would have/should have accomplished by then. I realized I've got nobody to blame but myself that none of it ever happened. This, of course, only makes things worse, lol. I mean what's a good crisis if you can't blame somebody else??

On the other hand.... How long do you really want to beat yourself up over all the bad decisions, poor planning and missed opportunities? Hindsight is 20/20 and all that, but if you didn't care about those things when you had time and youth on your side, then the only benefit you really get out of caring about them now is deciding how you want to live the rest of your life and how much of your past is actually relevant to your future. When you really think about it? Not much! Excluding of course the really important stuff like your friends, family, your health, your sanity (???), your skills and knowledge. I decided to let go of the stuff that doesn't work. I stopped wasting head space on the ephemeral and dead-end ideas. I had a bunch of those.

If getting older were nothing but a 100% downer, then young people would never be the be miserable, confused fucks they so often are. And if there's only one thing I've managed to figure out, the only thing worse than being a young and miserable confused fuck is being an *old* one. There are many advantages to getting older; I say take this time to start noticing them and making them work for you, instead of spending too much time regretting your own ideas about the past and fearing a future you've just begun to create for yourself. This is just another decision to make, and it's all yours.

It's never too late to have goals and be happy, tra la la.

"Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death."
---Hunter S. Thompson
 Yankee again
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 11
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:07:49 AM
40 sucked 50 was ok wait till you hit 55 LOL..... Best thing you can do is take control of your life. And if you have not started being healthy..... do it now. And enjoy.. We don't get younger but we do get better. Like fine wine and aged products life is to be savored and enjoyed. It is just a number and enjoy the fact you are there.....angel:
Every year since age 35 I take inventory of my life. The big years I make bigger changes.
The months leading up to my birthday I start mapping out my changes to make me a better person or my life a better life. We all need improvements. Make my goals and then go on to fulfill them. I have learned baby steps work best in this process since I do it every year. I will not be climbing any big mountains but the rocks in my road have gotten smoother...

Dating at this age is odd..... guys don't want "old ladies" Labels suck..... and OLD men cannot keep up with me ... I have not had a date in a long time....
I keep busy taking care of me and working..... And searching dating site. from time to time.....Life is to be lived so enjoy it.....
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 5:44:18 AM
You're going to be 50 ...

So EMBRACE it!

Throw yourself the biggest party you ever had
Invite people who only make you happy
and Look forward to the future.

I did.

It's a mindset
Change yours.

Fifty is amazing.
My maturity level has been the best it has ever been in years.
As for my body ... sure I have to work at it.
But that's a good thing, no?

Excersize and eating right should be on everyone's agenda.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 13
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:00:36 AM
Babe turning 50 is a damn sight better than the alternative!!!! Just make your 50 look so damn good people cant wait to join you.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 14
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:01:49 AM
I will be 53 in April...it's just another day...

“Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it”

“Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”

“Middle age is youth without levity, and age without decay.”
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 15
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:55:01 AM
Turning any age has not bothered me. When I was 49, I told people that I was 50 to get into the "feel" of it.

I did wonder, though, if turning 60 would bother me. I will be 60 this year and nope, the thought doesn't bother me.

One of your problems is unconsciously displayed in your word choice: "settling into" the 50s. While you might have meant "get used to being 50," "settling" indicate a slowing down, a time of less activity, etc. There is NO reason why a healthy person has to settle in or settle down.

When I turned 50, I wanted to help change the world's preconceived and stereotypical notions about 50 year old women; now, I want to do the same for 60.

Embrace your age--there's nothing you can do about it!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 16
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 7:16:16 AM
I'm turning 60 this year and I'm already thinking about the
party I'm pretty sure my girlies are going to throw for me!
Party by the lake with friends and family...yay!

I've never minded turning any age...I've always had something
to look forward to. I guess when you run out of things to be happy
about, or things to look forward to, you could get sad and mopey
when you get older, but thus far, it's not happened to me.

Happy Birthday!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 17
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 7:42:20 AM

Not to mention, dating at this age. Is it still possible? I know I"m not feeble minded or bent over a cane or anything but the elasticity of my youth is gone, along with gravity related body parts. lol. Do men still find women in their 50's attractive or are they searching for their version of eternal youth?


I dated a whole lot in my early and mid 50's ... I did workout out a lot as well at that time I had done 3 challenges in body for life.. I am also small breasted so gravity is not that much of a factor for them.. I got some nice compliments on my body and it was featured on The Body For Life website in a swimsuit back then.. I was also rated in the top 10 in the 40-55 age group here in Montreal..

nativerock
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 18
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 7:45:30 AM

I'm turning 60 this year and I'm already thinking about the party I'm pretty sure my girlies are going to throw for me!


Me too am turning 60 this year and not much has changed as far as my body goes.. However my face does look a little older then it did in my early 50's..
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 19
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 8:48:46 AM
Not so good to have crud buildup. Good that something is getting it outa you!

All I can offer you about the '50' number is when you get to the '60' number (where I am) you'll *hopefully* think the '50' was very long ago and so much cool stuff has happened during the 50-60!
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 9:35:33 AM
You can always date women if you are concerned about what men think, they don't seem to mind that their spouse ages. There are a lot of lesbian couples around my neck of the woods who weren't born lesbian but just got tired of the b.s. that men try to pull on them.
Don't think negatively about aging is what I really want to say though because an old oak tree is just as beautiful as a young sapling...just different.
 lacalli
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 21
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 9:54:04 AM
I've just passed my 49th birthday and for the past few months, I've been plagued with thoughts about the fact that in less than a year I'll be 50. I'm wondering where my life has gone and where it's going. I'm assuming I'm having a "mid life evaluation" (which I thought I'd already had in my early 40's)

Has anyone else gone through this? Thoughts about your past, regrets, fears that the future is hurtling towards you faster than a speeding bullet, the overwhelming realization that.. this.. THIS... is as good as it'll ever get?

Not to mention, dating at this age. Is it still possible? I know I"m not feeble minded or bent over a cane or anything but the elasticity of my youth is gone, along with gravity related body parts. lol. Do men still find women in their 50's attractive or are they searching for their version of eternal youth?

This isn't a pity thread. I'm honestly wanting to know if people went through a period of "re-adjustment" or felt overwhelmed by the thought of their 50th birthday approaching? How did you overcome it and how long did it take to "settle in to the 50's"?
Thanks for your thoughts.

Great profile! I'll be 50 in 6 months and I plan to get botox and take up with a 30 year old.
I think each person is different because 50 doesn't bother me at all. I get weirded out by birthdays that end in 7's. I was hysterical all day when I turned 47. I actually cried in public, I had to leave my hairstylist with wet hair because I couldn't get control (I've known her for 24 years so she just laughed) You reach a certain age and you have to face the things you'll never do and that's depressing. That was what upset me the most, all the places I'd never probably get to see or things I want to do like work overseas again that I highly doubt I'll do. It's the time in your life when you take stock instead of dreaming. The most honest time.
On the other hand I don't give a shit about people's opinions anymore. It takes a lot to hurt my feelings and I think I'm gorgeous. Seriously. I never did when I was younger-I hated how I looked and now when I look in the mirror I think God, you are one hot mamma! Reality be damned. And the only person I have to please anymore is myself. This is the calmest and most at peace I've been in my life (other than life crises that seem to hit every few years-mostly medical stuff) so I assume it will get better and better.

So it's good and bad and it is what it is. There's no way out, only forward so yeah you'll make peace with it.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 22
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 1:15:09 PM
I don't like the big 5-0 either...

...but the alternative comes with a tombstone, so my advice is to resolve to make the best of it. After all, we are now in out heart attack and cancer years, so there is no guarantee we won't drop dead tomorrow. Live each and every day with purpose and you will be fine.
 hennylo69
Joined: 9/4/2004
Msg: 23
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 2:58:37 PM
Just date a younger guy.
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 24
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:04:17 PM
Thank you for the post. It is bizarre now approaching issues and challenges we never even used to think about. I feel much less confident about my looks although am told for my age, it is pretty good! And in spite of lots of daily exercise, there are simply some body changes that happen. I have actually blown off dates with people I really wanted to meet, as sometimes the judgement of how we look is very hard to sit and endure. Women are expected to look good all the time, and at every age and it is just not easy anymore.

I do envy my partnered friends who found someone very early in life, and now they mature together. Being on the market at this age it tough! Yet before the advent of media, we would be having a much better and easier time. In the best light, you can share a walk or something pleasant as friends. In the worst light, you are critisized for how you look to your face (this happened to me). I figure there is still someone out there for all of us, and I frankly am tired of living alone!

Since many of we boomers are maturing it is too strange yet again the double standard of how we should look and how we do look gets old. Now, even when trying to make male friends for purely friendship activity, they will actually ask how much I weigh? I hang up but year after year of this kind of cruelty starts to make one wonder?

I had a great first date set up for a wonderful ride to another town to help someone check out their boat. I couldn't get my nerve up, thinking it it wasn't a good match, I'd have to sit beside the judgement for 4 hours!

I only met one man whose appearance so shocked me I pretended I didn't see him in the cafe. And was happy I didn't bother as when I got home, he had sent incredibly abusive emails. Also, the last several times I fell in love, it certainly took more than an hour, sometimes months of meeting. So men who give it up after one brief encounter are not for me. Relationships take time, as friendships do.

I hang up on men who ask me about my body, etc. Would I be so rude as to ask them about their education level? I have only been approached by 2 men in my life whose education matched mine. So instead of firing up the webcam and dancing naked in front of the screen, I am hoping to meet mature and courteous men who at least have basic manners and the understanding that time does make a difference in our bodies, and eventually in all arenas.
 Bostonia2012
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 25
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:29:03 PM
I'm glad for every year I've lived and experienced and no fear of old age.
The only thing I fear is laziness, not keeping in real good shape, because it is so much easier to slide down that slippery slope if you don't.

If you want to attach a lot of meaning to being 50, fine, but you don't have to.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me