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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?      Home login  
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 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 3
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating? Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Whether its a lack of respect or crossing of a line can only really be decided by the half of the couple that isnt the one doing it really

What degree of "flirting" is going on, and whether its intentioned or just harmless flirting is also obviously quite important

After all, to some prudish, jealous or insecure types just smiling at a member of the opposite sex will be seen as thought its cheating on them whilst other people will have quite high tolerances for flirtacious behaviour, especially if they like to push the limits of acceptability whilst in a relationship themselves
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/20/2012 10:46:25 AM
I am always told that I am an natural flirt, and seem to just engage others that are around me and those that have similar interests as I do. Nothing wrong with it at all, and if you are the jealous type, you had better not fall for a person that has that natural ability to flirt.

Now, where I see the difference is in how one flirts........meaning, are you flirting the same way, no matter who is with you, around you, and why. To blatantly flirt in a sexual manner while your date or significant other is with you, is just poor judgment, and one needs to temper the flirting depending on the audience and those you are with. I even flirt with family members at family get parties, and I have no desire to be with them in any fashion but family.

I am with Landra on this.....you are either a good flirt or a bad one, and I do not enjoy the bad ones.......but I have seen good flirting turn to more if both are single, available, and wanting it to happen.

cd..............
 cabanaboy65
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 13
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/20/2012 11:52:05 AM
My ex wife & I was eating at a restaurant one time. We had two waitresses waiting on us. I knew one was training the other. I simply asked which one will be getting the tip. My ex acused me of flirting...go figure. .....
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 14
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/20/2012 11:54:12 AM
As long as there's no physical contact or exchanging of phone numbers, it usually isn't a problem. People who feel a need to flirt are more likely to be very insecure and need constant validation , even if it's from strangers, rather than looking to cheat. If they were to cheat, they wouldn't be getting the constant validation all of the time that they need to feel worth while. I think their emotional problem with being extremely insecure and always needing their fix of "Tell me I'm special" and the addiction being the center of attention is a bigger problem. I would be more concerned about getting the person psychological help to overcome their insecurities and feelings of being a worthless human being.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 18
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/20/2012 2:40:44 PM
Maybe. Depends on your intentions, and also on how your partner perceives things. Some aren't bothered, some are very bothered, so it is couple-dependent. If your partner is uncomfortable with it, it may not be cheating, but it is certainly a problem.
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 19
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/20/2012 2:46:42 PM
My ex did it all the time, and I don't like it one bit. It has nothing to do with cheating, or jealousy, but it does break trust, what is her behavior like when I'm not there? Its flat out rude....i cant imagine any mate of mine would be happy to see me chatting up a hotty at the bar.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 29
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 6:16:56 AM
There is flirting, and being down right obnoxious rude. I would never flirt in front of the other person, now if they weren't there..sure flirting is good for the self esteem.
If I saw someone I was dating flirting with another woman if front of me..I would walk away and wouldnt waste my time on someone who could be so rude like that.
Flirting is never cool when your partner is right there next to you.
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 32
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:07:27 AM
I believe there a different levels of flirting. I am a natural flirt and when I catch myself saying something that could be portrayed as flirtatious then I correct myself and laugh it off. I would never intentionaly outright flirt with another man whether my Man is with me or not.

Joking around with someone you know and complementing them on their new outfit, haircut or weight loss is one thing but insinuating that you've noticed them and you are liking what you see from a sexual stand-point is disrespectful to the person you are with. And if you are flirting more with strangers and "friends" than you are your own partner then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 34
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:18:16 AM
Cheating is if you are in a relationship, one or the other goes" behind your back", and has sex !
tones of people flirt, it is in there nature, just like some people have a sense of humor,or are always serious
so No! it is not cheating, not even close!!

chances are if you choose a woman, who loves to flirt, ( like me), it would not bother you
as far as it being any kind of problem with hurting my ego, I find, and have found that It boosts it if anything, after all she is Your woman!!, and you get 'the flirt, and EVERYTHING'!!!
 seventiesbaby2
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 35
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:36:51 AM
It is very disrespectful and is not what a man i would want would do.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 36
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:57:04 AM
I'm a big flirt, but I don't flirt with others while in a relationship. It's not like I have no control, it's not like I'm needy for the attention of lots of men. I'm a natural flirt but I know how to respect a man I've chosen to be in a relationship with. Yes, if I was with a man and he just had to flirt with other women, then I would be disrespected and I would not stay in a relationship that made me mad. If a man just has to flirt, that's his thing, I don't want to change him, but I won't want to be with him either.
 wkmooreh
Joined: 12/10/2009
Msg: 37
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 10:03:52 AM
See I don't see it as flirting, but I have in past relationships been called out for it.
When I get around people I am comfortable with everyone is sweetheart, honey, etc. Its nothing to me, other than an endearment. BUT some guys see it as flirting and do get very upset by it. I just say hey.. its who I am, its what I do, you got a problem with it, learn to accept it or move on.
I am in no way shape or form trying to be disrespectful, and if you know me you will see that. So if it is an issue than its insecurity on their part. Does that make sense?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 41
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 4:22:35 PM
I sure hope it isn't, I flirt often, but only when I am "on my own". When I am with someone, I don't notice anyone else.
 qualityl
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 42
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:16:10 PM
Flirting while in a relatinship is not cheating. God gave you eyes, and flirting or being yourself is not cheating. If I have lunch with a male, does that mean I am sleeping with him. No! People get jealous for all the wrong reasons!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 46
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:16:13 PM
How jealous are you? If you saw your mate/spouse flirting with someone would you automatically assume they were cheating? Is flirting while in a relaitonship considered cheating


No; fliting kep syuor claws sharp; to my benefit.

Plus, lets face it, it;s fun!!

However; I would have to have assurances in a few cases that there is nothing more going on. For example, dont flirt too much with that guy you go on business trips with for work....ya know? (that's painful)

But ya; flirting's fun for EVVVERYONE.


A good flirt can and will flirt with anyone- men, women, children, dogs....
It's attention without intention-- it's flattery, it's compliments, it's charm.
A bad flirt only flirts with someone they're sexually interested in.
I'm not interested in bad flirts.


Look at that hardball fly over that centrefield fence.

 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 51
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:43:14 AM

Flirting (or coquetry) is a playful romantic or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language.

That is from Wikipedia ^^^

I would certainly not be comfortable with my guy making sexual overtures to another woman in front of me. Behind my back would be WORSE. Being gregarious and charming are different things than flirting. Compliments aren't necessarily flirting. It all depends on the tone. I wouldn't automatically assume that he was cheating if all I witnessed was some talking and laughing, but the minute I saw him touch her with any familiarity I would have doubts. I would also have doubts about his faithfulness if I saw him passing out his contact info or if he dissappeared with her for a long time at a wedding.


Once one enters into a relationship it doesnt mean they stop being men and women they just stop being single for however long the relationship last.

I don't go into relationships thinking that there will be an ending. I go into them thinking about ways that I can grow the relationship into something lasting and enjoyable for both my partner and myself.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 59
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:39:01 AM

I have a different "act" of flirtation and flattery with different people according to inherent boundaries.


Discussing those boundarieswhen they are realized, and respecting thse boundaries is "everything".

These boundaries also fluctuate per situation and person being flirted with.

Touchy subject.

(no pun intended?)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 61
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 8:29:55 AM
There is a fine line between being friendly and flirting. If I'm in a relationship, I will not flirt at all whether she was present or not. I have a code of honor to never behave in a way that would make her uncomfortable.
 cckch
Joined: 5/13/2010
Msg: 62
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Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 8:41:59 AM
I agree, Sheply... If you're still flirting with the opposite sex, you're obviously not complete with the relationship you're in.. At the risk of sounding like a Bible thumper, "If a man even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart." I completely agree with that.. If hurting the person you love is less important than flirting, you don't deserve to have the love of that person...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 63
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 9:04:09 AM
Flirting and all other forms of a constant need to get attention and approval is a sign of insecurity in my book. If a person is happy in their own skin, they don't have the constant need to be the center of attention and get other people's approval at all times, 24/7. I don't go around begging people to pay attention to me and focus on me only, so I wouldn't be able to date someone who isn't happy unless she gets approval from everyone else at all times.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 64
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/8/2012 6:59:02 PM

It is cheating only to the insecure and needy. Why hook your life to a needy insecure person?



Such is humanity for you.

Anyone can afflix justification to doing what they want to do if they want to do it bad enough; that takes virtually no skill.

I think a better question would be: why would a good man waste his time, good faith and resources on a woman without enough respect for him and his contributions to stop herself from baiting other men?


Of course; everyone's concept of flirtatiousness is different. The term is sort of up to interpretation. It depends on what you consider flirting to be honest.

There's going out to lunch with a guy...and backing one into a corner in a dark night club. I've heard both examples used as definitions of flirting.


Agree with this.And from my end,if I am out with a date and another woman flirts in a way that is obviously looking for me to bite in her presence,I won't respond.To do so would be rude and demeaning to your date.And vice versa.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 70
Flirting while in a relationship: Is it cheating?
Posted: 3/10/2012 1:40:05 AM
First of all how does flirting with another person help your relationship? With all of the cheaters in the U.S., I would not think that is a good thing to do. Some get off on making their SO jealous or just love attention due to insecurity.


To me cheating is doing something that you normally would not do if your significant other were there. If you use that def. it clears a lot of grey area up.
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