|FLR...Female-Led-Relationships.Page 1 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)|
|Ive just become introduced to the concept of FLR. There is a lot of weird and fetish filled junk on the internet concerning this subject matter, of which I have no interest. BUT.....Arent women more than capable of "running" the relationship? I mean every aspect of the relationship she chooses, even to the point of subserviance from her mate? Why do women automatically have to place their wants, needs and desires second to her man's? Ive never experienced an FLR, but its of interest...I think. No fussing, no arguing, no disagreements....What do others think?|
Posted: 2/25/2012 7:39:44 AM
|I had to look that up in google.|
Of course women are capable of running their own lives.
So are men.
However, in a relationship to put a woman in charge of everything ... no not for me.
I am an equal opportunity employer.
Posted: 2/25/2012 7:43:53 AM
|thats the beauty....the relationship has a structure. she delagates to her liking....in charge of everything takes on the look and feel that she chooses|
Posted: 2/25/2012 7:55:43 AM
|The closest I can get to something like that is that I have been known to take over control of both paychecks and decide the budgets. They just brought in their cash and said here's my pile without me having to ask them for it. After I calculated all our bill money I'd pass them back the rest of their share. I didn't really decide what they spent their personal money on as long as we had the bills under control and grocery money set aside. Maybe it's easier for them to do that when I make more money so they know they won't get cheated BUT in one case he was the only one making money and I was the one choosing how to spend it all and held it all - by his request. I was sort of the house wife in that so any house related items were my job. We were doing some repairs at the time too so I budgeted things like that.|
I think that lots of relationships run according to how the female "feels" but men just don't admit it. It may not be all encompassing control but we can certainly use feelings to get some things swayed our way.
I don't know about it being a way to get out of disputes lol That's kind of a quirky perk I suppose but wouldn't he have to have free days or get nuts being told what is going to happen each day.
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:08:35 AM
|Sign of the times I think?|
Seems like everything in this society is becoming topsy turvy?
A woman wants a man because he's a man... then she emasculates him... and when he needs to be THE MAN... he's looking to her for leadership? ROFL
Handwriting is on the walls folks!!!
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:14:21 AM
|LMAO....I had to look this up to. However, I think it's not different then what I experienced from my Grandmother(in charge) and she indeed was. Of course I don't know what went on behind closed doors with my grandparents, but I could only imagine since my grandmother( whoa) really controlled everything my granfather did and say.|
But to look at this today as they have put a name on it FLR, I can't say that i really want that...I wan't my man to have some control over his own life: bills, sex, what have you.
I want a man to show me who he can be, it's more of a turn on to me when a men can be incontrol of his life then to have somone say here, take this and do what you need cause I can't handle it. That tells me then you can't handle me in the bed, since you can't handle your buisness.
I like it to be somewhat equal, and we have a happy medium, shoot as far as the bedroom is concern, I think if we are both confident in who we are on what we can handle, then that would be no problem. I could go on and on about this but I won't.
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:23:11 AM
|I really don't comprehend what you are asking here?|
Is it...You are asking IF a woman should make all decesions in a partnership?
OR...you want one that does??
I will assume...It's role reversal...woman in charge....over everything?
Regardless...I have been in a relationship where I handled the money because he was not good at it and didn't want to.
Second man....Was more of a partnership in expenses...he was in control of some things...I of others.
As far as any major decesions on other stuff....always mutual agreement....which is the way it should be in a "good" balanced relationship.
@Riptide....You are like a little kid...gleaming with excitement at the prospect of a "gender" bashing war...lol.
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:40:44 AM
|I wish I was that opened minded, but unfortuanlly I don't think I am.|
I do like a bit of dominance and I know i'm not the "leader of the relationship". Although, i'm not getting pushed over either.
I prefer equality, which leans a bit on the male-dominance side..
And yes, I realize that's not equal..oh well...
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:46:59 AM
|Sorry the emotional irrational gender is biologically incapable of leadership most of the time.|
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:55:43 AM
|As everyone can see this thread has the potential to go in every direction conceivable. I had many of the same responses and reactions when I first became introduced to the concept. Digging around on the internet didnt help, either...but then I began looking at what I consider "successful" relationships and a few things were brought to light.:|
*Insecure men NEED to dominate.
*Many women FEEL taken for granted.
*Relationships without TRUST cant prosper.
*A happy, secure and appreciatted wife almost always is accompanied by the same in her husband....the same cant be said of the men that appear happy, secure and appreciatted.
*May or may not be true, but women think in terms of the relationship, most men do not..
Just my unfounded by fact, but experiential observation.
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:05:36 AM
|i agree that insecurity leads to people desiring CONTROL. However thats not the same thing as naturally taking command in life.|
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:08:17 AM
|Whew op talk about starting one hell of a debate |
It's going to depend on the individuals and their relationship, each and everybody is unique as is each relationship. It very well could work out for some, for others be epic failure. It is an interesting notion however, given the society and cultural shift in the past half a century.
One thing where I can see this not working out for a lot of people is due to the upbringing and the traditions with both genders. However, given how the ladies have fought for equality in every other field, it would make sense that some would fight for dominance in their personal love life as well.
I personally prefer equality in a relationship, compromising without either party losing out on core values/beliefs.
Each to his or her own, besides it is good to have minor fights sometimes, making up afterwards is always the fun part, and keeps life spiced up. It would be to boring otherwise
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:09:01 AM
|I have to go on personal experience on this one, but I have seen a lot of "female led" relationships do pretty well. Both of my parents are remarried and the woman makes most of the decisions in both cases (managing money, deciding vacations, running the household, deciding what to do in their free time together). They both seem relatively happy.|
Personally, I like the ideal of sharing power equally. However, if one person takes charge, they need to make sure they care about their partners' needs and feelings no matter what their gender. Otherwise it just ain't gonna work.
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:19:53 AM
|There in lay the answer to MOST peoples trust issues. I dont believe the average man can be trusted to consider his wifes feelings, hopes and desires for her. Where as women do this in every relationship they have: to consider the other first. Yes, Im biased....lol|
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:27:40 AM
|dont we all make irrational generalizations in which one notion counter to that generalization doesnt make the generalization wrong??? always an exception to every rule when it comes to the human experience.....|
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:27:59 AM
|How would FLR differ from a relationship where the man was submissive to his mate?|
Sounds the same to me.
As an alpha, I would be bored senseless dating a submissive. Unless the male is as alpha as I am, the relationship would never get started.
The type of dominant women that FLR (from what you posted OP) would required, could not be an alpha. Alpha is often misunderstood as meaning dominates others.
A dominant women who isn't alpha would have to have certain characteristic to enjoy a submissive. I have no clue what those characteristics would be.
"I dont believe the average man can be trusted to consider his wifes feelings, hopes and desires for her. "
In my experience a man who acted as you describe OP, wouldn't get past the dating stage. (2 or 3 dates at the most.)
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:29:13 AM
|To each their own. |
I have no desire to lead a relationship, but then.. I have no desire to follow in one either. Equality is a fine balance, a dance.. one that intrigues and challenges me to grow.
Someone handing me all his power and wanting to be led would not inspire respect, and for me that is massively key.
This set up would never work for me.
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:36:10 AM
|as if women dont enjoy some sense of fulfillment knowing their men are whipped and crave only them......lolol,|
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:40:03 AM
|^^ That would do precisely nothing for me. As I said, I wouldn't respect him as a man. But, to each their own.|
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:41:06 AM
|"as if women dont enjoy some sense of fulfillment knowing their men are whipped and crave only them......lolol,"|
Boredom causing women to dump man comes to mind.
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:44:05 AM
as if women dont enjoy some sense of fulfillment knowing their men are whipped and crave only them
The "chase" comes to mind...and this doesn't only apply to men.
Women love when other women are after their man...shows that he's still a 'catch'
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:46:13 AM
|This would never work for me. I am by nature quite bossy, but would never allow myself to be with a wuss. I would be bored out of my mind. |
I pity a man who'd allow me to "run" the relationship, life would be hell for him.
I would have very little respect for him, like I would a woman who allows her man to "run" her.
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:05:09 AM
|without attempting to personalize this thread, I cant help but wonder what a relationship would be like with a woman that self-identifies as bossy and prone to run things and a man also desiring to run things.....sounds like a collission on the tracks ahead. ....|
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:11:01 AM
without attempting to personalize this thread, I cant help but wonder what a relationship would be like with a woman that self-identifies as bossy and prone to run things and a man also desiring to run things.....sounds like a collission on the tracks ahead. ....
That's why I think that people that are strong willed try to find someone with similar interests so they can feign 50/50. They say it's 50/50 but the truth is both of them like italian more than chinese food as an example.
The discussion may start - where do you want to eat - chinese? The other person says how about italian then they agree on italian.
You are correct if both sides are 50/50 in opposite directions and no one thinks they should compromise it will be a stand-off then control becomes who can argue the best. If they end up separating and getting their own versions of dinner then they spent more time and have to eat at home just to be together. Sounds pretty silly when someone could have just compromised.
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:19:31 AM
|I dont believe a 50/50 relationship betwen 2 people exists, I do believe compromise almost always leads to resentment. |
There is a major difference between the ideal of a relationship and the actual reality of a relationship....IMHO. Someone has to lead (as much as others hate that word) and the other agrees to follow. I cant help but consider how secure and confident a man has to be in order to acquiest to his woman.....wuss? A wuss couldnt.
If you think a man making your happiness a priority would be boring Im leaning in the direction of you already being boring or one that needs the drama to keep things fresh....I happen to hate drama, with a passion.