Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > One sided conversations      Home login  
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 2
One sided conversationsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Yes, I've been with a guy like that, and I found it very draining, to be perfectly honest. I think that if you can't have a decent conversation with them, perhaps it's better to find someone with whom you can...
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 12
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:12:18 AM
Well if you are interested in getting to know them more and they are answering your questions then you are getting what you want?

If someone doesn't participate at all in conversation, then chances are they just aren't that interested in you... but are enjoying the attention you are giving them?
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:32:16 AM
i had one of these a couple of weeks ago.

it wasn't that he was quiet, it was that he NEVER shut up! for two hours straight he talked AT me; if he asked me a question, i would get a few words out and he would start right in on himself again...

he thought we had a great time.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 14
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:40:51 AM
OP - if I have to ""work"" to keep up a convo with a girl - then I assume she is not interested in the conversation I am offering...

then I move onto another...
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:14:20 AM
^^Agreed that I don't get what "compliments" means either.

Generally I have to be able to talk to people, and in my business I can pretty much get along with anyone so long as they are willing to participate. I'm not one to go on and on, but I do like a nice rally of interesting conversation in my social experience.

If I can't talk to someone and it feels like a job to get them to respond, I'll pass. Whether they aren't interested, aren't able to hold a conversation, we don't connect, or they are too shy to really talk back, doesn't matter. No thanks.
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 21
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:50:27 AM
I have to be honest with you, the internet has created a ton of boring people that can't relate to people one on one.

They are shakespeare when they are texting or chatting or on facebook but get them in a one on one situation in person and they are as exciting as Napoleon Dynamite on xanax.

I usually have some pretty good conversations with everyone but I have the gift of gab. It's not come up too much for me but again, if it did, I'd probably move on.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 22
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:30:34 AM

However, they are the ones contacting me and 9/10 times they fully expect me to carry the whole conversation.

Yeah, I know what you mean. IMO, it's on the person who initiates to carry it. If they can't - there's no point in bothering.

I get "do you want to chat?" My response is: "....apparently YOU want to chat. I have a few minutes. Go ahead." When they open with "Hello" I throw back "What's up?" When I get "...not much, you?" I immediately ask them what they want/why they sent the message. They need to step up and take responsibility for the conversation.
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 25
One sided conversations
Posted: 2/27/2012 7:23:29 AM
I have found a way to get passed that problem. If they aren't engaging in the conversation, I just start responding for them.

They either get the picture and start participating or they get pissed off and leave lol

No wonder I can't get passed that first date.
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 30
view profile
One sided conversations
Posted: 6/14/2014 8:56:54 PM
Yeah, if only there were some mechanism for connecting the people who have a pulse, personality, and conversational skills.

Maybe, like a website or something.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
One sided conversations
Posted: 6/14/2014 10:45:25 PM
when I saw the title of this thread ... "one sided conversations" ... I
immediately thought, "oh! that's exactly what happened this week!"
then I realized you're mostly talking about people who WON'T talk!
the last man I was out with wouldn't STOP talking ... he would start
up a "conversation" that I'd be interested but, after 30 min. on the
same topic when he hadn't slowed down for a breath, I have to admit,
my eyes would glaze over a little bit and I'd lost interest ... I felt like
I was in a class and the professor was lecturing ...

EVENTUALLY, he did let me get a few phrases in ... I doubt I ever
got to finish a sentence but I did get to say a few phrases ... I'm guessing
he might have been nervous? or no one else listens to him? don't know!

maybe that's why it's so exciting when I actually find someone who knows
how to COMMUNICATE ...
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 32
One sided conversations
Posted: 6/14/2014 11:16:33 PM
^^^ omg, I was thinking the same thing as you. I also hate when people bytch that you won't communicate, but discount what you do say. I say I ain't wasting my breath talking to a brick wall.
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 35
view profile
One sided conversations
Posted: 6/15/2014 4:57:36 AM
I have to admit that I'm often the silent partner in these one-side conversations, particularly when I meet someone on a first date. And this is usually for two reasons. First, I'm of the notion that the lady is trying to size me up, get a better feel for me. So give her the opportunity to do so by allowing (even encouraging) her to ask as many questions about me as she likes; answering them as thoroughly and honestly as possible. The second reason I'm not that much of the initiator in a conversation, especially with regard to asking her questions, is that I prefer to find out about a person through causal conversion rather than direct question. I'm of the belief that most people will often frame an answer to a question to suit what they think the questioner wants to hear. As an example, I don't bother to ask why her last relationship ended. I'll only get one side of it anyway and the reason behind it may have nothing to do with us. I think it better to get a feel for the person as a whole and judge from just chatting. I don't ask what she does for a living because it's not as important to me as her personality and character.

Having said all of that, I'm just now seeing that my tendency to allow/encourage her to ask questions about me, along with me not directly asking questions about her, may come across to her as me being very self-centered. I'll need to modify my conversational skills.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 37
One sided conversations
Posted: 6/16/2014 1:21:17 PM

Happens to me all the time. He contacts me, yet wants me to keep up the conversation.

IME, this is indicative of the interaction/dating/relationship that will follow. No thanks! You'll be doing everything while they kick back and crack beers open.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > One sided conversations