Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Men's age preferences - are they sexist?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 not1ofthecrowd
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 1
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?Page 1 of 1    
I am wondering why so many men on dating sites don't want to date women who are any older than them (or even their own age)! An example of a profile: man, 49, seeks woman aged 38-48. Personally speaking, I see this kind of age preference as an automatic red flag. Given than women in general tend to outlive men and take better care of themselves , I do not understand the reasoning behind these preferences. Also, are they being realistic? In this day and age, many women want to date men their own age. Is it just sexism/ a sense of entitlement? Any ideas?!
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:52:43 AM
I am wondering why so many men on dating sites don't want to date women who are any older than them (or even their own age)! An example of a profile: man, 49, seeks woman aged 38-48

Newbies coming online to "dating" sites may wonder about that, but it IS standard practice for most everyone, men AND women to put that age preference on their profile...
Online most people may feel free to put whatever non-PC preferences they may choose onto their profiles,
in hopes that someday they may actually find someone who meets those specifications...
Sort of like online shopping for a car, where people CAN select all the options they wish for and then expect it to be shipped to them...

Also, back to how men and women's preferences may have evolved:

Males have traditionally preferred younger attractive (healthy) and "fertile" looking (hourglass shaped) females for their likely ability to produce healthy offspring..

And females have seemingly long preferred the taller more dominant high-status and "protective" seeming males for their genes and potential ability to provide for and "protect" those potential offspring...

Those preferences are so deeply ingrained that despite anyone's disclaimers, most still default to selecting partners based on those very basic physical characteristics FIRST... S
 not1ofthecrowd
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 3
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 9:53:27 AM
I did not notice that there was a similar question about age when I posted this. I have raised some different issues regarding sexism so I would still be interested in your input on my thread. Thanks.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 4
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:13:05 AM
It used to be for children, men wanted women a few years younger to have children with. Then it was that women matured faster than men and a man could date a woman up to 5 years younger and be on the same maturity level. But now at age 42 I have noticed most women my age I have talked to in passing, especially ones that are recently divorced, seem to want to act like young kids again instead of mature women(no problems really, I like that at times). I wouldn't mind a woman a couple years older than me, but not a lot more unless she took care of herself. Not sure why, there are many great older women out there, I think it is just something in all men's DNA to seek out younger girls, just like it is in a woman's DNA to seek out someone financially stable and someone they feel protected with. You can't fight biology but you can stretch it now and then.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 10:16:52 AM

I do not understand the reasoning behind these preferences. Also, are they being realistic?
So a guy is looking for a woman up to 10 years younger - you're age criteria included guys at least 10 years younger, too. Did anybody accuse you of being sexist, too?

Just because the age criteria is posted, it doesn't mean that it's set in stone.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 6
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 11:12:10 AM
Yeah, it's not sexist. You might have a better case with "ageist."

There are a fair number of women here who have very specific age preferences too - some want to date younger, some want to date older.

There was a study released last year that the happiest marriages are when the woman is a little bit younger and a little bit smarter than the man.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 11:28:51 AM
I am open to date women older than me.

 egboy
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:28:42 PM
I'm just looking for a woman that can keep up. I have sex with women in there 50s and they complain that they can't handle me. To much for to long and to offten. I'm not bragging just the truth. I'm in good shape and don't use the blue pill Don't need it. But to be fair I have have younger women say the same thing but not as many. I would love to find a woman my age that would be my match.
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 12:42:29 PM
i always have to laugh when this topic comes up. invariably, an older woman poster will cross her arms, stick out her chin and say, 'i would never date a man who dates younger!' as if that choice hadn't already been made for her.
 BlaineV
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 10
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:07:22 PM
If I can venture a guess, I would say that it's because a man has less dating experience than a woman his age or older. So I would think he would want to date someone a little younger with the same experience.

Also, it's been statistically proven that there is a higher success rate for couples where the man is a few years older than the woman.

However, I would think that men should date women a few years older than themselves, because women live longer, and if it's going to be a long-term thing, they can then truly grow old together.

For me personally, I'm comfortable dating women of all ages, but within reason of course. I wouldn't date a woman old enough to be my mother or young enough to be my daughter.
Of course, if I did date someone young enough to be my daughter at my current age, I'd be a paedophile, so it does me no favours anyway.
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 11
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:08:33 PM
Sure you can call it "sexist", or perhaps selective ageism would be a better term. Many things in life are skewed in favor of one gender or the other -- men get to date younger/hotter women as they get older while women's mating choices become narrower as they age. On the other hand, women can still find older/wealthier men to live off of in case they don't want to fend for themselves, whereas for men this option rarely exists in any real sense. Perhaps if women would stop seeking out men for financial and emotional stability, we would be free of both types of gender inequality. I say that because while old men will always want younger women for their looks and "fertility" I suppose, it is the younger women that are making themselves available to older men so that they don't have to support themselves and can live beyond their means. But then again, you can't really blame the women either because who doesn't want a free lunch? It's not for everyone though because it takes a strong will to pass on the nice-looking guy your own age to get it on with a guy who looks like he is one triple bypass surgery away from the grave. My hat goes off to you ladies.
 not1ofthecrowd
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 12
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:13:04 PM
That's not necessarily the case. I am 42 and I fit into the age range I gave as an example earlier. In other words, I would not be interested in a man who had those kinds of superficial preferences (sexist/ ageist/ traditional whatever you want to call them) even if I was deemed "young enough" for him.
 not1ofthecrowd
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 13
Men's age preferences - are they sexist?
Posted: 2/26/2012 1:15:28 PM
Reply to christ on a crutch
"i always have to laugh when this topic comes up. invariably, an older woman poster will cross her arms, stick out her chin and say, 'i would never date a man who dates younger!' as if that choice hadn't already been made for her."

That's not necessarily the case. I am 42 and I fit into the age range I gave as an example earlier. In other words, I would not be interested in a man who had those kinds of superficial preferences (sexist/ ageist/ traditional whatever you want to call them) even if I was deemed "young enough" for him.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Men's age preferences - are they sexist?