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Show ALL Forums  > California  > WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE      Home login  
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 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 1
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERSPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I was wondering ... my cousin is 57 yrs and going to be married for the first time ...his wife is 33 .. what is a acceptable age between married couple , dating couple or sex partners ...would it be ok for me to go out with a 18 yr old .. and 44 yrs old... everyone who has criticizes me ..has gotten married to someone much younger ...another cousin married someone 17 years younger and this cousin married someone 24 yrs younger... so what is the youngest person you have dated ...the age difference .. etc .. and how old were you .. hopefully this post will get responses.. hopefully you get the idea ... are you required to date only someone your own age or close to it .
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 2
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What is an acceptable difference in age between dating and marriage partners?
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:31:25 AM
My dad's last wife was my age. They were good till he got to be about 70, then she was bored and made his life miserable. I don't understand the attraction to younger folks, but I guess love is blind. lol

As stated above it does make sense that the closer you are in the same generation the more you will have in common. Its all about being happy.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 3
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why would there be an "acceptable" ...
Posted: 3/6/2012 9:30:08 AM
I agree 100% with Travelicious ...

why would there be an "acceptable" difference in ages, religions, races, sexes ... on and on ... who is we're trying to please? oh, yeah ... US!

I dated a man off and on for a few years who was 19 years older ... (he dumped me for a younger version) ... and accidentally dated a man who was 18 years younger ... (ooops, my bad ... in my defense, he looked MUCH older, heavy, balding ... I caught on when he wanted to introduce me to his pre-school kids ...)

with the older man I dated, I was enthralled with his memory's access to historical events, social and religious attitudes ... that I could only access thru reading, for example ... (he REMEMBERED SEEING the James brothers play! wow! ... he REMEMBERED December 7th, 1941 clearly! wow.) ... he was more grounded ...

incidentally, why are you so overly concerned about ages? as long as everyone involved is in a position to freely give consent ... who cares what "they" think ... if "they" would pay more attention to their own lives and leave the rest of us alone ... it's my personal opinion that we'd all be a lot happier!


edit: I prefer MY heading!!!
 Socalguy1962
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 4
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/6/2012 10:05:57 AM
It's what is acceptable between the two people in the relationship. Depends on the people involved. Personally for me, 10 yrs difference is the max. Not to mention some people act/look younger/older than their age.

It can be cultural too In Asia it's not unusual for the man to be 15, 20+ yrs older than his wife. The woman considers the older man to be "more settled down and stable" than a man her own age.
 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 5
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/6/2012 9:49:40 PM
what is creepy about it .... sometimes you click with someone younger ... when i was in my teens ...i clicked more with older ladies , than ladies my own age .. so i should just go out with someone my age ...even if we do not click...that is silly
 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 6
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/6/2012 10:57:26 PM
let me ..put it this way ...as long as the female is a legal adult ... i draw the line at 18yrs of age ....not like the catholic church were ... the legal age of consent in vatican city is 12 yrs old... and i am a born catholic who became a atheist ... maybe that is why american priest do not understand what they have done ...is wrong .
 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 7
What is an acceptable difference in intellegence between dating and marriage parteners
Posted: 3/7/2012 12:37:14 PM
ok ..seki ...here is the support / citation ..about age of consent ...happy


http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm
 KalGrl
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 8
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/8/2012 9:18:50 AM
Not all older women object some of us have decided to pursue younger men and for some of us it works very well
 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 9
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/9/2012 9:25:36 AM
i was not rallying support , just asking a question... i take shit when i tell people.. ..i would marry a 18 yr old ...even thou i am 44 yrs old...get called a dirty old man.
 emaneten
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 10
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/9/2012 11:25:57 AM
X = ideal age difference
M = Man's age

X = M - 18
 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 11
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/9/2012 9:19:01 PM
i do not mind going going out with ladies my age , but sadly i wind up becoming there therapist instead of there lover ...and i just do not need that in my life ...i have enough mental cases in my family...i do not need any more ..period ..
 definitelyafind
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 12
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/10/2012 7:26:40 AM
Age is irrelevant. Its a non issue and quite honestly, NONE OF ANYONE'S BUSINESS!!!

My Uncle married my Aunt who is 21 years younger than he. He's now 60. She was his 2nd wife, he was a widower. They've been married now for 12 years. They have 4 children altogether. The first 2 from his late wife and the rest from my Aunt.

In the beginning the concerns were that SHE might leave him.....but they actually adore each other. Love is love ~

As a family, we completely support their relationship and their love for each other.

~ enuff said
 peterepeat
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 13
WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/10/2012 8:31:49 AM
not totally irrelevant , if there under 18.... in california ...you go to jail...
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 14
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/10/2012 9:16:39 AM
So is it fair to say that by reading this thread that Logic plays no part in attraction. That it is purely chemistry and should that chemistry be suitable it is well and good to develope a relationship?

How many people know the difference between love and lust? The feeling, the "need" to be with someone. It is my opinion... and just my opinion.... that this great "love" people feel for those of increased or decreased ages is BS. Younger women go for older men for security, I mean really, what 18 year old wants to bang a beat up wrinkly old man when she can have her pick of men her own age? Is that love? Is it physical or chemical attraction?

Cougars experience the same thing. Sure the guys like the fact they know their way around the bedroom, but really? Is it love or trophy?

I have seen may/december romances that did blossom, but the initial attraction wasn't the reason why... it wasn't that great chemisty called love. The EVENTIALLY fell in love... came together for the wrong reasons and it ended up ok. But it doesn't happen often.

Young women get older and their ability to let someone "lord" over them comes to a hault. The control shift happens and they redefine the relationship. But love? yeah not seeing it.

Again all this is just my opinion.

But truth be told, it doesn't matter if both parties agree. But don't call it that great mystical power ...Love.. its convenience 9 times out of 10.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 15
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/10/2012 2:46:42 PM

Who has the control shift when it is two 18 year olds in a relationship, or two 50 year olds in a relationship?


Most times it constantly shifts back and forth if both parties are fairly equal. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, so it makes sense no one is always in control. :)
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 16
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/11/2012 9:20:08 AM
Okay this post has a whole new meaning to me. I have been dating a man I thought was 2 years old than I... just found out last night its more like 9. Does it change things? Only the fact that he lied... this bothers me greatly... but there is truth that had I known his real age I probably would not have dated him. Now I am confused as hell.... I am surprise at my reactions... he is still the same man, so that part hasn't changed, but to be untruthful is very upsetting to me.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 17
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/12/2012 8:48:34 AM
I hear what you are saying. I am 54, so well over that 30 year limit. However there are other issues at my age group that you probably never thought about. It wasn't a 2 year limit, and to be honest I usually date men younger than I. My goal was to keep in the same generation. Man plans and God laughs lol

We are still dating, he is a wonderful man. I have issue with falseness... a big issue with it. I hope I can get over it.

BTW I am not sure there is such thing as a little lie. I try my best to be honest in everything I do... I think its a sign of respect.
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 18
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/12/2012 12:54:34 PM
I'm with TG on this one.

I'd define a difference of 10+ years to be another generation.

I'm not excusing the lies, but...I've got to wonder what difference is betwixt 2 and 9 once we are past 40.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 19
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/12/2012 2:24:30 PM

How do you define a "generation"? 2 years ?(the age difference you thought there was)
9 years is a whole other generation?


to me it was 5 years on either side of me lol Don't ask me how my brain works...

 KalGrl
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 20
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/12/2012 5:35:55 PM
It's not a question of how many years it's the fact that he felt it necessary to lie about it.
If it's not that big of a difference then why did he lie?

Did he offer an explanation as to why he lied?
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 21
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/12/2012 5:54:25 PM
He doesn't look his age at all. He is very outgoing and energtic. I can sort of understand, I am a very young 54, I still rodeo and skydive and such. I am very young at heart and so is he. He dosen't match his chronological age. He tried stating his true age and those that emailed him were fairly sedintary. He had current pics, and didn't falsify anything else. As you all say, age shouldn't matter...but it does matter. So he went around it all. I am starting to be happy he did. We do get along great and we do have a lot of fun. Just wish it didn't have to be under false pretenses.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 22
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/13/2012 2:36:00 PM

I'm still friends with that lady, I spoke my piece, and we're past it. Let's also consider HER family and friends, THEY know her age, even if I don't, so what are THEY thinking, when I show up at a group function? Didn't think of that, did you? But you should, if you do intend to get serious.
R


They don't know my age.. maybe I do look older than my years lol but yeah.. we will see. I won't make problems where there aren't any, there enough out there without adding to it. Thanks for your perspective. I am a bit naive at times, or just optomistic?
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 23
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/15/2012 1:52:11 PM

57 with a 33 year old wife...good stuff


This statement makes little sense to me...Hmmm so if you are married why are you here? And if you are no longer married... how good was it?
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 24
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WHAT IS A ACCEPTABLE DIFFERENCE IN AGE BETWEEN DATING AND MARRIAGE PARTNERS
Posted: 3/15/2012 2:38:50 PM
lol.. Okay and thank you :) Whoops.. sorry about that.
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