|Would you?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2)|
|Just a question for the more "experienced" people. Let's say that you met someone and there is an obvious chemistry physically and emotionally but sexually you find out through communication, that they aren't as "experienced" as you are in the bedroom, would you pursue the relationship or move on to someone who has just as much experience?|
To elaborate on experience let's say that you are bi-sexual and have had many more and very different experiences vs. the potential partner. Would you have the patience and understanding with the other if they were willing to let's say pursue a more "experienced" sex life or would you think of it to be a waste of time and move on?
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:45:15 AM
|I'm not bi, but a less experienced partner wouldn't be a problem at all for me.....unless she started dishing out atitude, resentment, or trying to make me feel guilty about my experience. |
If both parties are mature, not the jealous over the past, and focused only on each other, then there's no problem. And you could have a lot of fun helping your partner GET experienced, in what ever manner you are both comfortable......grins.
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:46:24 AM
|I personally don't think that how "experienced" someone is says anything about how good they are in bed. I have had partners who were amazing in bed and not experienced and I've had partners who were very experienced, but really crappy in bed. So, if you are interested and attracted, give a try before deciding if they are good based off of how experienced they already are.|
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:50:10 AM
So, if you are interested and attracted, give a try before deciding if they are good based off of how experienced they already are.
Just to clarify a little... I would be the one considered the more "inexperienced" one in the situation. And this is really just a curiosity thread due to a conversation I have been having with another POF "client".
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:51:51 AM
|I don't mind... if they lacked in experience i would show them a thing or two haha|
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:05:32 PM
|First off.. you have to define what you mean by experience. Do you mean number of partners, do you mean number of times they've had sex, or the things they've done? |
I'm 43. My partner is 27. We met 4 yrs ago. I've had more partners, probably had more sex in general (based purely on age here), however.. he's done a lot more things than I have.
NONE of that was a factor for either one of us. None.
I questioned the age difference more than he did, and eventually (obviously) we began our relationship.
He's shown me things. I've shown him things. Life is good.
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:07:02 PM
|Confused here..are you saying that someone who is not bi..is less experienced?|
What exactly do you mean by less experienced?
One can be skilled and have less partners, even if not bi. What does bi have to do with 'experience'?
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:19:51 PM
|Ok, to clarify the "confusion": 1) If I am straight then I have obviously had less sexual experience meaning I have never been with a woman or had that experience. |
2) More experienced as in more partners, multiple partners, threesomes, etc.
I understand that being more "vanilla" does not mean that you lack skill.
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:22:42 PM
|OP - if I meet a woman who we both share really obvious and clearly high physical and emotional and chemistry - it doesn't matter to me if she has less experience...|
in fact - I will be opening her up to things she most likely has not previously experienced before....
that's HOT to me.
yet even if a gal DOES have more experience than I do - I just know I better bring my A game...
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:26:56 PM
Personally someone being bi-sexual would be a huge turn off to me. Does nothing for me what so ever, and would be a major red flag. Much rather be with someone that was into me, for me then something I never will be.
Ok, I gotcha!! I am not bi and again this is more of a curiosity thread per a conversation I was having with another POF'er. So, lets change the scenario around a bit since everyone is focusing on the "bi" aspect.
You are involved with a straight woman, but have not yet had sex, that may not have as much experience in the bedroom either a) Lack of Partner's b) Unskilled/boring partners
and you are someone who is more "comfortable" with experimenting using toy's, porn, etc.... Would you have the patience and understanding to want to get to know her or move on because of her lack of experience? Is this a "deal breaker" or seen as a waste of time?
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:29:20 PM
|As long as you aren't a virgin I really don't care how inexperienced you are. But, you have to have an open mind and you really need to get over any insecurities you have about your body. Also if you know what you like and know how to ask for it or direct the movements to your liking that is a plus. Good sex is ok but good sex with good communication is fantastic. I'm not talking dirty talk. I'm talking I like this or I've been fantasizing about that etc... Don't keep stuff to yourself and don't ever be too embarrassed to ask for what you want. If you haven't tried it give it a go you might like it but if you don't then don't do it just because you think your guy likes it. We can tell when you aren't having fun and sex is about two people not one.|
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:32:34 PM
|If there is mutual attraction, and that chemistry develops equally, very seldom would there be a problem sexually, no matter the experience level, as long as both want the same things and are willing to teach and learn what the other has to offer and accept..... |
There might be times that one has a physical problem that interferes with being sexually compatible, or they may need some type of correction to make everything good and dandy, but other than that, if they are willing to learn and teach.....most times it works out just fine.
The end result is in the compatibility area, and that can be physically, emotionally, educationally, professionally, and even financially, and will ultimately decide if the two of you are meant to be long term or not.
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:51:26 PM
|OP.. where is the chase, and how do we cut to it? (chuckles)|
I'd just spell out your sexpectations if indeed you plan on going there with this fella. Not everyone took the same class when it comes to the freakydeaky. I'mean.. how'd you get so experienced in the first place..? I'm guessing someone showed ya.
Posted: 3/8/2012 12:56:29 PM
|I personaly don't think experience matters much. What matters is curiosity and intiative.|
Posted: 3/8/2012 3:47:53 PM
|It all depends on WHY they lack experience.... |
You can't teach the unwilling!
Posted: 3/8/2012 7:39:43 PM
|I pretty much agree... less experienced could mean "you want me do what with that?" with some repulsed look. That is someone who is as experienced as they are willing to be. |
Don't get me wrong, I have my limits (WTF is so sexy about a ball in the mouth or suffication) as I think most people do.
Now if somehow by the grace of God at my age, some woman just got out of a marriage where missionary was all that happened and she was curious.... sure. But I don't see that happening at my age.
Posted: 3/8/2012 8:00:22 PM
Would you have the patience and understanding with the other if they were willing to let's say pursue a more "experienced" sex life
helloitsmeyourlookingfor, that is why my opening post says this ^^^^^^
I'm referring to someone who is curious and open to learn and try new experiences. Maybe they'll like them and maybe they won't. This was to get a general idea if people would be willing to have the understanding and patience with another who may have not had a more "spicy" or "experienced" sex life.
Thank you for all your responses, they have all been very interesting for me
Posted: 3/8/2012 9:28:07 PM
|Chemistry, passion/lust between two people out ranks experience any day.....without the key ingredients, you've got nothing but a sex demonstration in progress.|
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:21:41 PM
|I dont consider myself to be highly experienced, but I have been with persons that seem to have less experienced than myself, and it actually has made me more excited. I can make it more interesting w/o making the guy feel intimidated, and just by seeing the persons excitement makes it even more worthwhile.|
Posted: 3/8/2012 10:26:15 PM
|No 1 bby, you sound like me, I couldnt have said it better. there is always something to learn. even if its just how that person likes it. everyone has their own little tricks, no matter how experienced they are.|
Posted: 3/9/2012 12:10:27 AM
| Man oh man, listening to some of you, could make someone wonder if having sex is like rocket science. Like it's something that only someone as smart as Einstein could figure out If I meet one that's in experienced, I'm happy! It's kind of like car shopping, in the sense you can buy a car with very little mileage and soup it up and then take it from there, drive it till the wheels fall off. Or like some people I'm sure, you may want the older more antique type of car, even if it has a million miles on it.|
Posted: 3/9/2012 3:05:55 AM
|Do whatever you're comfortable with.|
Posted: 3/9/2012 3:33:05 AM
|I was with a woman for lets say a while....the chemistry was there but the actual bedroom action wasnt for one reason or another....SHE was the reason I dated her for as long as I did and enjoyed every bit of it....we are still friends....great woman! |
Posted: 3/9/2012 3:33:33 AM
|"Animal magnetism" is what dictates great sex. imho Experience..........not so much.|
As far as dating goes................ that's why most people date.... to learn enough about the person they're dating, so as to decide whether or not it is someone they want to get "serious with or not.
Posted: 3/9/2012 6:55:16 AM
|I tried to have patience and understanding with a man that had serious premature ejaculation problems. |
He used to blame me, saying I was "too hott"
The sex with him was barely ever even more than 7 minutes. It was microwave sex.
I had patience but asked him if he might try some male enhancement medication.
He always refused because he was to egotistical to really think he needed it. After years of trying to persuade him to do something about his problem... I couldn't deal with him
anymore and I had to end the relationship.
I am too young to give up my sex life. I want to enjoy sex for more than 4-7 minutes, I mean why even take off your clothes?
I don't know if his problem was because he was so inexperienced or a medical problem?
He was always quite satisfied of course, but I rarely was.
It was disappointing to say the least and completely frustrating to really describe it.