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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Why not say "Do not date outside my race"?      Home login  
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 The Waiting Knight
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 1
Why not say "Do not date outside my race"?Page 1 of 1    
I like beautiful women, PERIOD. Howeve,r I find on here a lot of times (actually most of the time) the excuse for not talking is they don't date outside their race. Isn't that a preference? So why not put that in your peofile or at least POF should create a checkbox for that. Do not say you are "open to new things" unless you include a caveat.

Have you ever thought that your ideal mate/match may be another race? If others have a problem is that your problem too?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 3:18:27 AM
This is so obvious, I don't know why you would ask.

The reason most people don't do that, when they actually secretly feel it, is that they tend to get attacked when they do so. It's the functional equivalent of putting a sign in your window saying "whites only," or "no slant-eyes" or "you pale-buttock monkeys better not bother coming here!"

I'm obviously using snotty, offensive ways to say it, but no matter how they do so, it will get attacked. I've seen it many times, including in these very forums. Best just to politely demure each time someone who they are not attracted to attempts to make contact.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 3:27:40 AM
For some it is but it's also an easy excuse if they simply don't want to date YOU.

We all have POF members who we need to decline, most people want to do that without causing offense regardless of their reason for not being interested. By saying that they don't date outside their race, it's an easy way out as it's not something you can really argue with.

And why not put in on their profile ? That's because it may come off negatively to have a list of wants and don't wants. Can you imagine how fickle a profile would appear if someone stated they wanted a partner with green eyes and blonde hair who was a certain height etc. even if that is what they are normally attracted to ?

Being open to new things doesn't normally mean dating people you aren't interested in !

No - if others have a problem with it, it is their problem. Your only making it yours by your reaction. If they don't want to date you - that's their loss. I am sure as you look through the profiles on here, you make snap calls about some people and decide they aren't for you. Maybe it's their weight or height or hair color. Everyone else has the right to do that too.

I don't normally find myself attracted to people with red hair. The women viewing your profile and turning you down based on race, might not be attracted to dark skin. What's the difference ? It's not like those are things someone can change about themselves, it's simply the way it is and has always been.
 _Kites_
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 4
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 4:03:07 AM
The quote in your profile where you referenced The Outlaw Josey Wales leads me to believe that you're jumping to conclusions about why these women aren't responding to you. This forum gets a lot of posts from guys that aren't having any luck on here. So, it's not unusual that you're not getting responses.

Your profile is well written, but full of negativity. Try to change it up a bit and see what happens. I actually enjoyed reading it otherwise, so I'm sure you'd have better luck if you were more positive.

Good Luck!
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 5
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:05:21 AM
If they found YOU attractive it wouldn't matter.


Why not say Do not date outside my race?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Because it IS an option or they do not want to offend people.
Most aren't reading preferences anyway in my experience.

I state things pretty clear.
They e mail anyway..Nascar lovers Pfffffffft

 IronBelle
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 6
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:11:33 AM
I am not comfortable saying something like that, for a few reasons. We get enough hate mail as it it. Throw the race card in? Good God. You do not sit there as a woman getting shit load of mail daily.

Yes, it is easy to hit delete & block. One time ( long time ago ) I had a statement, * I only date caucasian men*. I got more men who were Black telling me I was KKK or sending me****pics to show me what I am missing. And personally, it just got old. And added more drama to the getting mail. Some got so mad when you block them, they would make profile after profile.

Bottom line on here for you ( and everyone else ) no means no. Whatever the hell race or color someone is. If I thought my ideal match was another race, then I would respond back with a * lets meet* e mail.

Is it my problem? N0. I will tell you what the problem is. The problem is meeting the right match. period.

POF doesn't need to add another check box. People just need to learn how to read between the lines. No is a pretty universal word. And it is polite enough without raising more tragic on line behavior.

5 years ago...I had a first meet. It was a cool profile. The guy who showed up was Black . He had taken a white dudes profile. HE said he was going to * show me * I would like him. See the shit we go through on here??? Fkn absurd !!! ( this is when I was new to on line meetings but geez ~ who does this ?).

If you had * I do not date Caucasian women * on your profile, you MIGHT get a couple women who cuss you. Women do it? OMG it is like a KKK Cyber Rally. NO THANKS.

I also have ran into / seen some of these guys in my Gym. I do not need problems . And who knows...if I ever did find someone attractive I may change my mind. I do not want Racial crap on my profile. I like the tires on my truck in place.
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 7
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 5:30:02 AM

Why not say "Do not date outside my race"?

Why not say "Do not date outside of my height"?

Why not say "Do not date outside of my religion"?

Why not say "Do not date outside of my weight"?

Why not say "Do not date outside of my education"?

Why not say "Do not date outside of my area"?


Because, to many it is an absolute and they do not believe in them.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 8
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:13:10 AM
Howeve,r I find on here a lot of times (actually most of the time) the excuse for not talking is they don't date outside their race.

I don't understand how you can possibly know that unless they tell you, and most people wouldn't tell you that unless you pestered them enough that they would say it just to make you go away, basically. In the end, if people don't date outside their race that's their perogative. Everybody has their preferences and what they aren't willing to accept...... Too fat, too short, too white, too black, too asian, too old, too dumb, too whatever.


So why not put that in your peofile or at least POF should create a checkbox for that.

To the point you were trying to make above, I've actually seen profiles where people will state their racial preferences. One of them participates regularly on the forums. Most will not, for a variety of reasons. Mostly, it just creates a negative perception but other than that it doesn't really accomplish anything.


Do not say you are "open to new things" unless you include a caveat.

Oh come on now, all that means is they're open to new things, just not with you. One statement is general and open-ended, the other one is very specific and involves a decision that's already been made.... see the difference?


Have you ever thought that your ideal mate/match may be another race?

Sure why not. It's not a big issue for me either way, really. So why would I call attention to it??


If others have a problem is that your problem too?

Nope, I've noticed there are all kinds of people here with some REALLY WEIRD problems though. I'd like to think my problems are a lil' more straightforward, like how come I can't set this pesky ol' tree on fire? How do I lower my taxes? How do I keep the raccoons out of my barn? When will I hit the lottery? You gotta play to win!
 VADERPRIME
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 9
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:21:33 AM
Because when a white person says it .. they are being racist..
when a black person says it, they are being black and proud.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 10
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:59:21 AM
Every time a thread like this is posted in AAGirl, it's always some n*gga b*tchin and moanin about getting shot down by other races.
 OneGodfather
Joined: 3/4/2012
Msg: 11
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:48:15 AM
Why not just accept they dont want to date you FFS, will it make you feel better if she put I only date Caucasian or what ever she dates?

Just freakin accept that we are not everyone cup of tea and move on, its always the person who is rejected that has a problem, I know women that posted they only date such and such and every so often they get ignorant comments, so one puts what she wants shes a racist ,and if she doesn't post it shes a head case for not posting it?

Man its like those saps that whine about " oh why doesn't she send me a polite reply back to my email" well duh if she does send a polite reply some guys will ride her for her email and when she doesn't send one back she is a b1tch? she cant win for losing.

I know of a poster that posted in his profile He prefers to meet Fit women, because he is a work out fiend and he politely says I dont want to meet someone overweight and list his reasons why and none of the reason was derogatory but he still received a ton of nasty emails calling him this calling him that blah blah blah.

So my point even if they say they prefer to date within their race you dont know the backlash they will receive.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 12
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:51:54 AM
Another thing OP.
There are many African Americans that will not date a DARK black. They are still the same race.


The gals in college I knew that were African American or mixed liked all races for the most part, but some of them NOT date a very dark man.

There are Caucasians that like darker or lighter Caucasians ect ect.
You are making things way to difficult for yourself.

I won't paint myself into a corner based on height or anything else.
A lot of posters are right. for many reasons.

It's asking to be thought badly of and get hate mail.
You also will turn off your OWN race by saying something like that.

I won't date a man that says if you are fat don't bother and I'm not fat.
It's insulting and ignorant.
 The Waiting Knight
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 13
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:19:24 AM
All I did was ask the questions. Never did I say I prefer white women nor did I say I had a problem with it. But from the answers I received I do see that it is a touchy subject. Offend??? Please refer to the Outlaw Josie Wales statement. Is it not better to just turn someone down honestly that to play on their intelligence? This is not my first rodeo. Growing up during the civil rights movement has taught and shown me a lot of techniques. So again please refer to the Outlaw Josey Wales statement. Call a spade a spade. I do. A militant black leader once said everytime he sees an interacial couple that is one step closer to genecide. That is a sick statement but his followers believed in it.

We all are one race, THE HUMAN RACE. So let's enjoy our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Thanks for replying.
 lucky2beme
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 14
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:33:05 AM
see when i think of race i picture an event where one competes to see who is the fastest in the competition and not a color of someone's skin.for God's sake let's just refrain from using the word in the 21st century as it causes nothing but arguments that can be avoided
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 15
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Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:45:17 AM

I like beautiful women, PERIOD.

well, there's your problem. you shoot for the hotties, expect to get mostly shot down, because you're wading into the most competitive end of the dating pool.

when women can't get a hottie, it's because 'men are poonhound creeps.' when white guys can't get a hottie, it's because 'women are stuckup b|tches.' when you can't get a hottie, it's because 'women are closet bigots.' you see where this is going?
 The Waiting Knight
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 16
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:57:20 AM
Funny this is that when POF send me my matches of the day, it is mostly white women. Is that a definite computer glitch or a parameter in which POF left out of it's match syntax?
 IronBelle
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 17
Why not say Do not date outside my race?
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:02:00 AM
Who cares? Geez. Just like you flipped out wondering why people were on dating sites not here to date? Starting to think maybe you are just looking to start stuff, then blame it on everyone else.

If these things are not big deals, then why ask? People will like you or they won't. I am starting to think it is not a race issue that people say no for.

It is not race but the lack of whatever it is behind the e mails....trust me. It has been a HUGE reason I have turned certain people down. Sure as hell not the color. Good Grief...

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