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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Americans seeking people outside of the USA...      Home login  
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 spooky48
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 1
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hi,

I'm writing to ask a generalized question in hoping to get brutal, honest answers.

I would like to ask, what do you think of Americans who want to meet someone specifically from the UK to have a relationship with and/or marry (or say from another country & NOT America).

If so, how do you do hard-core searches considering, you want to find good sites that are reputable & literally spam-free. What wording do you type into the search engine to be as specific as possible?

I have a friend who was from Ohio here originally. She met a British man on a forum. From there, they flew back & forth 4 times until they completed things & got their Visa sorted out. They have now been married 7 years in April & have 2 kids. When she was living here in America, she always told me it was her "dream" to meet & marry a man from the UK. Well lucky her, she got it.

Bottom line, do you think it's dangerous or even a bit pathetic to have this kind of "dream" since, there's plenty of people in your own country?
Has anyone here met & moved out of the US to be with the person they loved?

Thanks in advance for your responses.
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 2
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:26:00 PM
Seems like if you want to meet a brit then you move to the UK for a while and see if you can meet somebody nice that way. There are all sorts on here and I would imagine that the same would be said for gents across the pond.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:36:54 PM
I actually try very hard never to think of someone else as "pathetic." I feel as though the god of patheticness (I know it's not an official word) will come down and visit it's vengeance upon me, if I did.

Lots of people get it into their heads that this or that nationality is naturally superior or more desirable. Here in the US, lots of people got deluged with the notion growing up (Hollywood), that a guy with a British accent is smarter than everyone else, dresses better without being gay, has more money, and/or is an international spy and sexual dynamo.

Some guys think that all Oriental women are naturally subservient, and will be ever obsequious and cooperative. Guys used to think that all Swedish gals were sexually wild, especially if he were looking for threesomes, and purely casual encounters.

Anyway, I have no idea how to look for any of the many fantasies people develop. I do know, though, that if there is a market for it, someone will set up a dating site specifically tailored to bring each entity together, even if it's people who are determined to marry an armadillo.

I searched in Google for American looking for British dates, and got pages of hits.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 4
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:42:24 PM
This is a great topic and something I've seen a lot on here.

I personally find it quite creepy when I see American women in their 40's, 50's and older, appearing in my POF "Matches" wanting to correspond with men in Scotland with a view to coming over to meet them, in the hope of "falling in love and eventually settling there".

Sorry, I just don't get it! They register their profiles in a postcode in Scotland (or no doubt elsewhere in the UK) so they will appear in your area/search - and yet they still live in the USA. And often or not they've got children.

I've personally been contacted by five American women who think they want to come over and meet me with a view to hopefully moving over permanently. At first I was flattered, but now I find it all a bit strange and as I said, creepy.

The USA is a massive country - that doesn't mean it's citizens have to stay, but women searching for men in the UK? I can't help thinking they've got a very stereotypical view of life in Britain and it's inhabitants!

Total turn off! And a complete NO,NO as far as I'm concerned.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 5
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:04:15 PM
I love European men, and always wanted to be involved with a Brit.

Why in the heck would it be pathetic to get involved with people not in our own country? I would say that is a rather pathetic way of thinking.

Yes, your friend is quite lucky. I've always said I would like my kids to have British accents.

I love it.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 6
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:06:08 PM

I've always said I would like my kids to have British accents


That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

Dear oh dear.

 SerendipityHappens
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 7
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:09:32 PM
I am open to men from outside of the USA . If he is willing to fly to meet me or send me a ticket to meet him then I'd entertain it. It's not like I'm LOOKING for it but sure I'm open to relocating. My ex-husband is Lebanese. I was in Lebanon for five months and we considered moving there and I'd have had no problem with it but in the end we opted not to relocate.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 8
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:10:29 PM
I don't see why one should care what their nationality is IF you feel a connection, and are able to spend time with them to develop a relationship. Love is love. Granted, it is often not practical. so everyone has to make their own decision as to whether or not it is worth pursuing.

Of course, you also have to remain cognizant of the fact that some people will use you for their own purposes in regard to immigration.
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 9
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:14:45 PM
I have never heard of this trend of Americans looking for people from the UK? Maybe it's just a certain age group/location. All the people I know are pretty happy with American girls. I know if I asked this question to my friends if they would have a choice they would choose the mail order option and find a Svetlana. Why try to get to know someone romantically who lives so far away I don't get it.
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 10
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:17:08 PM
Come to think of it a guy I went to high school with found his wife like that. He is a bit robust and she was is a healthy way as well, they chatted back and forth, flew back and forth and now she is a brittish expat living in Tennessee. Go figure!
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 11
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:19:25 PM
@ Msg #6. I don't give a flying fig what you're "talking" about.

Take that one on.
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 12
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:24:07 PM
Awww, come on Andy! Fly me and mine to Scotland, marry me and make sure our offspring have cute accents!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 13
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 6:37:50 PM


Bottom line, do you think it's dangerous or even a bit pathetic to have this kind of "dream" since, there's plenty of people in your own country?


generally no, not pathetic.. but it really is going to depend on the reasons involved for the search.
Yes it could in fact be very dangerous. I would not do it.
I did meet someone ne time who lived in another country. I ended it as it was just too too much, too much time apart, too much travelling. Different countries, different laws. Overwelming.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 14
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:33:09 PM

@ Msg #6. I don't give a flying fig what you're "talking" about.

Take that one on.




We Brits are all gentlemen and are not accustomed to such rudeness!
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 15
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:36:03 PM

Awww, come on Andy! Fly me and mine to Scotland, marry me and make sure our offspring have cute accents!


You, Miss SciFi Chicky, are an exception to the rule! I'll even pay for your tickets!

 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 16
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:41:58 PM
I'm from France and my Girlfriend is from Denmark...we live in Canada. Many Americans are quite myopic when then they consider career, education, relationships, etc. It's a big world.

Re the OP. Go for it. However, my advice is to take a month and go live in the UK and join POF or some equivalent. Taste the waters. Avoid London, Manchester, etc. but try some second tier size city....it will be easier to get around and get to know. My experience from in living in a few countries is that it's always easier to meet people when you are from 'somewhere else'....especially if you have an accent. There is a natural curiosity about where you are from and many people are quite genuine in wanting to make you feel welcome.

I wouldn't recommend flying to the UK just to meet someone on POF or whatever. You could incorporate that into a longer stay. A trip for just a meeting might be disappointing. Have a holiday and enjoy the total experience.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 17
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 10:27:01 PM
I hope you educate yourself on all the complications involved. There are many...Not something I personally would feel the need to get tangled up in. Good luck. Maybe call your local immigration office and see if they will sit down with you and spell out all the reasons you might want to rethink your plan, unless of course you're from a diplomatic family-things would go easier that way for you.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 18
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/27/2012 11:53:02 PM
I agree with sci fi; it's hard enough dating someone that lives down the street let alone that lives in another country.
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 19
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 12:07:21 AM
jmark, of COURSE you would have to be 3000 miles away
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 20
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 12:33:01 AM
I get US guys all the time even after I put in the message in the profile, not to bother.
They are looking to relocate after being retired from the forces and want residency in Australia and to start a new life as our economy is much more healthy. I used to chat with a few but I was told they were mostly scammers and to be wary. It can work out for some I guess. But we all have our dreams and they keep us going. I had a partner who was American and we would go back and forth from US to Australia and you will do anything for love.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 21
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 12:38:24 AM
Yes the old stereotypes!!!!!

. French men are sexy and romantic but unhygienic.

British men are cold and inhibited.

Americans are all loud and big bottomed.

All Australians are bronzed, blonde and at the beach.

Asian men are not well hung, have bad eyesight. etc etc. And so on and so...But the more we travel the globe the less we adhere to those generalisations.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 22
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 12:41:14 AM
jl503

Actually I had never heard of that either. I have never known of it at all.
I think mostly it is people who want to escape for some reason and want residency elsewhere or the grass is greener syndrome. I can understand people wanting to come to Australia. We are welfare heaven and we have mostly a good climate and a free way of life. Cosmopolitan and progressive.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 23
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 1:31:14 AM
I'd rather do what I did-- traveled, and got my own life situated in a different country first (twice, in two different countries), and then considered finding love.

If someone wanted to meet me due to the fact that I now live in the USA, I'd question their motives. Though I'm sure there are others who wouldn't mind being sought out because they're "geographically desirable".

PS If the kids are born in Britain, they don't have an accent LOL duh.
 mysterioustallmn
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 24
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Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 1:46:56 AM
Love is where you find it. Personally, I only date greenland eskimo women, I just love a woman who'll chew the fat with me. What, you saw "Remains of the Day" and can't get it out of your head? For awhile I think I must have been on some list in France because I was being deluged with e-mails from french women. Pretty strange considering I don't speak french.
 spooky48
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 25
Americans seeking people outside of the USA...
Posted: 3/28/2012 2:27:34 PM
Hi (I posted this in another forum so, sorry if you read it already):

I read your posts (all of you here) & I am in agreement with some of you. It doesn't really matter to me personally, as long as the man who loved me really did that, loved me.

I think my friend's story though, is pretty amazing & at a time before, I won't lie, I was jealous a bit. I mean in laymen's terms: she gave up her life, family, career, friends to literally start a new life over. However, it was her choice because, she really wanted to move to the UK.

I won't lie as I am no liar & call me crazy (who hasn't) but, at a time too before, I really wanted to be like her & I broke my butt to meet someone because, I was on sites specifically for bands from the UK & I thought that, if I kept on posting & talking to these men, a similar fate might have followed me like it happened to her.

Growing older & somewhat wiser...you can't "make" life happen. If something's supposed to happen, it will. If not, it simply wasn't meant to be. That's kind of how I am feeling about my life now in terms of marriage, family & kids. Luckily though, I am a generally positive woman who has a busy, active life outside of the computer. Sure, I get my lonely moments & am cynical but, generally, I'm cool.

I will say this in terms to my posting here, I have been to the UK several times myself. I specifically have been to the cities of Manchester & Liverpool the most times alone. I won't lie too, I travel to Liverpool especially b/c (& I don't care what anyone thinks of me here), I was quite hoping to meet a great guy from there & I was hoping it would turn into love. We'll see though.

I'm due to fly back over at the end of this year. This will be my 13th time too, in Liverpool alone. I am meeting up w/ a bunch of FB friends most of whom, are in a music-related career. I am really excited about this.

Yet, I am not going to expect or anticipate anything obviously that will probably not be there. (I know this sounds cynical but, I am just being realistic).

I hope all of you here find whom you've been waiting for...Cheers.
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