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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Being stood up      Home login  
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 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 1
Being stood upPage 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Searched this forum and it did not come up so thought I would ask the question.
Gotta say I would have thought it much less common at my age. Guess I figured people would have been thru the wringer often enough to have more courtesy.
After waiting for a 1/2 hour last night I went home. No communication from the other party yet. Still a little angry and puzzled about it this morning, thought there was enough connection to make a meet worthwhile.
Should I have called or texted "are you coming?" or did nothing as I did?

If I am just being whiny dump the thread. LOL
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 2
Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 6:20:42 AM
Sorry to hear about your date gone bad. I hope you weren't put out too much.

I usually give people the benefit of the doubt. At least the first time or two. Lost my number, had an accident or whatever. So I would have called them and if they didn't answer left a message.

But really. That's just leaving them an opening for a second chance. They know they screwed up and you are owed an apology.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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History
Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 6:44:15 AM
I was not ever really stood up by anyone from a dating site
BUT
I have countless stories of how when they showed up, I would have prefered
they didn't.
ugh.................. the unbelievable misrepresentations !!! not just fuzzy pics, but height, weight... no bigger ones !
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 4
Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 7:28:00 AM
With some people, common courtesy is not so common. Unless they provide a reasonable explanation, I just write them off and move on. Consider that they've given you a peak at their character.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 5
Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:28:49 PM

everyone here has been stood up


Not everyone. I've never been stood up or stood anyone up and I've talked to others who have had the same experiences. I'm sure it's a numbers game though, the more you date the greater your chances of having it happen to you.

It probably helps to exchange phone numbers and have a brief confirmation call prior to leaving.
 Abby156
Joined: 4/1/2010
Msg: 6
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Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:52:48 PM
I have been stood up twice. The way I feel about it is that I had dodged 2 bullets.
I seriously doubt there would have been any interest on my part even if they had shown up.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 7
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Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:58:15 PM

The "lady" called and called and called and apologized and wanted to meet. I took a straight pass. You do the same.


^^Now why would you do that to her? Did she tell you the reason "why" she was unable to show? Did you exchange cell numbers or emails so that you could keep in touch if something went wrong? That to me, at least from what you have written, shows little resilience on your part to be honest...
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 8
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Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 6:55:25 PM
I would have to agree with you Ro....and also when conversing...it's going well, then they don't get back and some time later want to pick up where they left off? Eff that I say...pardon my unladylike language!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 9
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Being stood up
Posted: 3/30/2012 10:44:42 PM
I had a similar but not as drastic situation when three friends and I were meeting for dinner ... one woman simply did not show up ... I called her to ask why she hadn't shown up and she said, "but you didn't call to confirm!" I said, "we're adults ... we agreed to meet ... I didn't know you expected ANOTHER call to confirm again!"

I was annoyed ... roll forward a year ... she and I are still great friends ... I discovered she's very forgetful but will not admit it ... she's a great person, fun to be with ... but, given ANY opportunity, she WILL forget! so ... now I call to confirm ...

not that you should have called to confirm ... as adults, there's no need to confirm ...

I'm just sayin' maybe the person's legitimately great, wonderful, etc. but has memory issues ... sometimes, a few minor modifications go a long way toward making relationships work better ...
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 10
Being stood up
Posted: 3/31/2012 4:19:06 AM
A day later and still nothing, sent a text and a message on POF, no response. I do tend to dwell on things so am more irritated now then I was when I left the restaurant. LOL

Human nature, the ones that got away become more desirable.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 11
Being stood up
Posted: 3/31/2012 6:35:45 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

How to you plan to respond if she does?
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 12
Being stood up
Posted: 3/31/2012 8:15:46 AM

the best way not to be stood up, is to confirm the date that day. call to confirm.
If I dont get a confirmation call, I dont leave my house.
Often I'll have them send a text as well when they get off the highway so I know they are on their way and THEN I leave to meet them.
knock wood, but I haven't been stood up yet.


Valuable lesson for the next time but you would think that 2 people of our age would be able to honor a meeting plan set the day before.
The vagaries of human nature constantly amaze me though. LOL
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 13
Being stood up
Posted: 3/31/2012 8:19:52 AM

How to you plan to respond if she does?


Now there is a very good question, like was said in this thread her character has been revealed especially since I have had no reply to my questions why.

Would depend on my current situation as far as dating goes at the time but I think the point moot.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 14
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Being stood up
Posted: 3/31/2012 9:48:32 AM
Sorry to hear it, some people are just rude and some seem to be scared of first meetings and back out at the last minute.

Yes, it was worth texting to find out if she did intend to come, just to clarify things - there may have been a misunderstanding. If she doesn't respond to that, it's pretty likely you were stood up. In which case, ignore it, wipe her off your list and carry on meeting the ladies who are worth meeting. Someone who would stand you up when you've taken the trouble to go out to meet her, is really not the kind of woman any decent guy needs. She has filtered herself out nicely.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 15
Being stood up
Posted: 3/31/2012 2:58:16 PM
Yes, it's happened to me too....it's just plain rude to not at least phone to say you're not going to be there. A fella from POF emailed me, wanted to get together, we emailed back and forth about 5 times and then....nothing, the day we were to meet I was going to email him to find out if we were still on....his profile had been deleted! Had a giggle about that! To the OP, don't take it personally.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 16
Being stood up
Posted: 4/1/2012 1:02:09 AM
I've told the story in the forums before. The last time I was 'stood up' was the night I met my late wife, and being stood up was the best thing that ever happened to me.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 17
Being stood up
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:16:06 AM
Just for giggles last night I called, to say she was surprised to hear from me was putting it mildly. Got thru the "hello, how are you? yada yada yada" Started to ask what happened, CLICK!!!!!! Got hung up on. LOL Haven't been beat up this bad since high school.

Looks like it turned out for the best as some have posted on here. Cannot imagine being involved with someone that rude.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 18
Being stood up
Posted: 4/2/2012 10:10:46 AM

Now she double handed you, stood you up and hung up. GEEEEEE, learn something bout this have more pride and dignity


My pride took the beating the night it happened, my dignity is very much intact.
As you can read from my last post I did the call as a lark and she held true hanging up.
Firm believer in Karma, what you do will come back to you. But revenge is a dish best served cold. LOL
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 19
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Being stood up
Posted: 4/2/2012 10:36:01 AM
I was stood up for my very first internet date and since then have always confirmed the day of. No, you shouldn't have to, and people should honor their commitments or let you know up front if they can't, but I'd much rather take the extra step than find myself inconvenienced, frustrated and maybe angry after being stood up.

Living in a sparsely populated area most of the time a date involves a fair amount of time and travel just to get to the meeting spot, so it only makes sense to make sure it's actually going to happen.

Not to mention that keeping the communication going right up until the date can help improve the odds it will be a good date.
 Xmasguy
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 20
Being stood up
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:02:21 PM
Happened to me last night,

Lady recommended we get together, and even picked the place to meet at! Said she had to dry her hair before she got on the road, and she would call when she was getting out the door. Since the eatery was half an hour away from my house, I decided to get on the road early and catch her call en route.

Got there and shot her a text to let her know I had arrived (Not too far from where she lived). No response (Hmmmmmmmm) called her phone (Did not pick up) waited for about a half hour, and sent her the following text: "Looks like you stood me up, no need to explain yourself, I get the message....gotta keep it moving".

Left and got on with my evening. Sometimes you have to "Charge it to the Game". There is no rhyme or reason to the decisions people make, so don't waste time looking for an "Exit Interview" or a "Do-Over".

The older you get, the easier it is to turn the page.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 21
Being stood up
Posted: 4/2/2012 8:13:04 PM

It's when I am sitting in a restaurant alone watching the door and my clock, feeling totally embarrassed...that's what bugs me. If you don't want to go out with me, just tell me or DON"T ASK ME OUT. If you have cold feet, just call and cancel, even if you have to make up something...I'd have more respect for someone who backed out earlier than someone who just didn't show up.


...I had the same thing happen to me. I felt like an idiot sitting there waiting...how many times the waitress came by and checked to see if I wanted something. He didn't even have the decency to cancel, instead he let me sit there and wait.

I sent an e-mail when I got home and told him so....I asked him how hard would it have been to say he had second thoughts. Of course he never responded to that either.

Not too long ago another fellow made two dates and cancelled both....there wasn't going to be a third. I think he got cold feet even though he didn't want to admit it. Too bad cause I was looking forward to meeting with him.

But...it happens, all part of on-line dating. Now I Make sure I have a confimation before I leave the house even though that doesn't guarantee anything.

...mae
 Karma_Kid
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 22
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Being stood up
Posted: 9/8/2012 10:05:49 PM
Loved your message to him. I actually had a no-show lady email me after the fact that she thinks it is funny that guys will show up and actually expect her to be there. Thank you for the no-show.
 Karma_Kid
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 23
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Being stood up
Posted: 9/8/2012 10:10:31 PM
Loved your reply. I have had ladies that don't care to share their phone numbers and that is a no-go. I have never been late for a first date, but I want a number in case something happens.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 24
Being stood up
Posted: 9/9/2012 1:01:47 AM

Karma_Kid:
Loved your message to him. I actually had a no-show lady email me after the fact that she thinks it is funny that guys will show up and actually expect her to be there. Thank you for the no-show.


I'll expand on what i said earlier in this thread since It was brought back to life.

About 30 some years ago I had a date on a Saturday night. We were suppose to meet at a local dive bar and go from there. I waited for a while, had a beer and shot some pool. She didn't show and this was before cell phones and all that. So I headed down to a local bar that had a live band on Friday and Saturday nights. About half and hour after I got there my date walked in and looked over my way and looked right through me. Well, I knew where I stood with her. Another half hour the band getting wound up and a group of people walk in. There was one Lady in the group that drew my attention. I went over and asked her to dance and then she invited me back to her group of friends. Let me tell you that was the start of a long love story.

Sometimes being stood up is what is suppose to happen. I don't if it was 'fate, or happenstance', but being stood up that night was the best thing that ever happened to me. The worst thing that ever happened to me, was when Cancer took her from me.
 texasfwtornado50
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 25
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Being stood up
Posted: 9/11/2012 4:12:39 PM
hey i met a guy at a restaurant.. we ate had drinks.. got a long great.. then he started asking me if he could come to my house. and i said NO.. he went to the bathroom. .and well didnt come back.. i got stuck with the bill.. all 75 bucks of it !!!!!!!!!!
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