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Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 1
my brother....Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
i have a younger brother who is 6 years younger than me.. he is quite troubled at the moment and does not do so well with other peers, school work, and social life. Everyday he is getting worse and worse... I can always hear him cussing and yelling at my parents. I tried to not be angry but i just lost it today. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my brother kept on consuming my muscle milk which I need to work out.. the thing is he is about 5'7" and 230 pounds of fat because he does not work out.. he is quite obese. It wasnt really the milk but I guess I lost it because this wasnt the first time he kept on taking other people's things in the house without permission. I ended up grabbing his wrists and pushing him against a corner and yelling at him as I put all my strength into it.. it was pretty intense i guess... later he cried to my dad telling him how much of an ass hole and all kinds of f words I am and how I should be castrated and go to hell.... i felt pretty bad doing what I did to him earlier.. but i think this is going outta control. can someone help.
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 2
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 2:58:24 PM
help?.. with what.. what you are feeling or him?... if your own parents can't help or choose not to help him... how are people on a dating site going to??
...probably does need some sense knocked into him, then a psychiatrist...
wow just looked at your age.. get him help for sure!!!!.. ;-(
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 3
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:02:25 PM
yeah.. maybe it wasnt a good idea to post this here.. dont know much online forums.. sorry
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 4
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:02:30 PM
You are the adult in the situation. Apologize for hitting him. Wait til you both cool down and try to teach him about healthy boundaries. It sounds like you physically hurt him, is that really worth a glass of milk?
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 5
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:07:18 PM
Well, i understand you asking.. probably better to ask strangers than to ask relatives and friends and have them all in your business...
..i do hope he gets help...
..adding... i don't think it was the milk. that was the straw and camel.. if he's yelling at your parents... then... they should be the one to set boundaries punishment discipline..ect..
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 6
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:36:42 PM
I didnt hit him or hurt him though. I just grabbed and pushed because I lost it.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
view profile
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:34:15 PM
I suggest you establish a good example for your brother. Demonstrate the better way to conduct himself, by doing it yourself.

Start with this mess, by calmly explaining to him that you were indeed wrong to do as you did, by your own standards.

One thing is for sure, a brother pushing, almost never helps a guy to decide to get his act together.
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:46:05 PM
Sorry OP, but your "little" skirmish with your brother is nothing that wouldn't have been laughed at in my household. Your brother should grow some gonads,but, Mommy and Daddy should have told/taught him that wayyyyyyyyy back when he was 8 or 10. At 15, he's already turned into the little girl that he is.

He got confronted by his older brother for doing something stupid and rude. Then he goes crying to Daddy,,,,at 15??????? Yeah, he's a girl. One of my brothers got thrown down 12 flights of stairs by me when he cursed my Mother. At the bottem another brother punched him until he told us he wouldn't act like that again towards our Mother. We STILL laugh at that evening. No harm, no foul, just a lesson remembered.
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 9
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:18:06 PM
i mean i know my brother went through alot of barriers, but it just feels bad when someone 6 years younger than you talks to you like that.
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 10
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 10:37:23 PM
Brothers are meant to fight, I got into it with my older brother just a few days ago. Be the big brother to him and apologize and help get him on the right track. You are your brothers keeper. Don't take on the responsibilities of being a parent or rule enforcer that's your parents job. He doesn't need a third person telling him what he's always doing wrong, that's where my older brother and me clash. Good luck.
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 11
my brother....
Posted: 4/2/2012 11:30:47 PM
thats what im saying bro. my parents pretty much gave up on him. he is out of control. I just got like 5 missed calls and an angry voicemail from him where he pretty much cusses me out for another 10 minutes because of what happened this morning... its just getting worse and worse.
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 12
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 12:08:36 AM
I dont know how you want people on a forum to help. This didn't happen overnight. Many kids are not very disciplined and then by high school it's too late to discipline. I couldn't imagine telling my parents those things at 15. I would have been knocked on my ass and never leave the house.

Your parents can talk to the school; I'm sure there are counselors that are there that can help. This is a serious family issue; talk to professionals; a forum isn't the place for answers.

good luck.
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 13
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 12:51:22 AM
Tell him to chill out or you will do it again or worse and that you are sick of him being so out of control causing grief for the family. Then tell your parents to send him to military school.
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 14
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 1:45:06 AM
yeah your parents should have kicked his ass when he was younger discipline, then he wouldnt be acting this way now..Kids don't all of a sudden become bad.
Teach your kids while they are young. I think your brother is depressed your whole family needs help, including your parents .
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 15
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my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 4:27:57 AM
Why dont you take him to work
out with you.

Why not include him in some plans for a
day out just hanging.

Maybe he is lonely. Maybe he needs some brother time.

Its not going to hurt to include him in plans.

I was four years younger than my sister. She had
no friends so when I went out, I would ask her to
come out with my friends.

The arguments stopped. The fighting stopped.

She started to have a life and have a good time and
learned to interact with people.

He is lashing out because of his pain.

Take him under your wing and see what happens.
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 16
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my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 8:21:35 AM
Excellent advice.

Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 17
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my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 10:13:53 AM
He's only 15, and you are old enough to live away from home. I would work on that.

Set a good example for him, be respectful and tell your parents they need to contact his school counselors and physician and start to parent this kid. You don't give up on your child.
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 18
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 10:38:02 AM
you guys are nice. I really appreciate your advices. Im not saying i didnt do anything wrong either. I was pretty indifferent to all this and i wasnt a good brother so i'll try my best. me and my dad decided to move out the house.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 19
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my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 12:55:58 PM

me and my dad decided to move out the house.

You're both leaving? sounds like the problem runs far deeper than your brother.
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 20
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 1:55:53 PM
you dont understand, the situation has gotten too serious. its not that my parents didnt try to discipline him. my brother had a rough past with bullying since childhood so he already has mental instablities. When he expressed these instabilities later on in life against my dad for instance he did get some hittings, but he realized that made him worse and the counselor told us to never do that again and leave him alone even if he does things. i made a mistake of violating that advice and now we are trying to follow it again and the best idea is to stay away from him for now.
 Bob Dylan
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 21
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 2:10:16 PM
Take control and teach. Knowledge is power. Plus everyone needs to know thier boundarys, if he has none then how do you expect him to act within them.
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 22
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my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 2:11:21 PM
I tried to not be angry but i just lost it today.

OP....I know you probably feel bad the way things happened but don't be too hard on yourself.....sometimes we do reach a breaking point.....especially if the problem seems to be ongoing with no solution in sight.

Curlygrl: Take him under your wing and see what happens

Curlygrl had some excellent advice......I especially think taking him to work out with you would do wonder's for him.....mentally and physically.
Joined: 8/26/2011
Msg: 23
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 6:14:29 PM
Curlygrl is bang on.
And the counsellor is dead wrong. Leaving him alone after he has acted out is the worst thing you could do.
This boy needs some natural consequences in his life. If he's going to be mean, then the consequences cannot be nice. And if he's not going to be mean, then the consequences will be getting the attention that he craves.
Have a family meeting and discuss what is happening, and what actions would be best (by everyone) in the future. But please, please, please don't leave mom to deal with this on her own! It WILL get worse.
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 24
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 7:37:10 PM
Your brother sounds like one of my elder brothers and my eldest son rolled into one. My eldest son was the same weight and height that your brother was at 18,19 years old. He was the nerdy type with his friends, and rebellious with me.

My elder brother, on the other hand, was anti-social and had a super nasty attitude. He fought with all of us in the house, hated me, and at 10, used to hit my mother. He had issues dealing with things because of one of my other brothers, who was older than this brother, died at 10 from cancer.

Sounds like your brother is going through something that he is having a hard time dealing with. I know how pissed you get---my son did it to me a million times--you have to find out what is getting at him, what he is going through. Even though my son hated how fat he got, and no motivation from me would make him budge, he just continued to eat, eat, and eat. When he hit 220, that is when it hit him and he began to take off the weight.
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 25
my brother....
Posted: 4/3/2012 9:30:19 PM
i would try and talk to your parents about getting him professional help..i hope you mother will be ok if she is alone with him ,if he has an episode...I dont think what you did was out of sounds like normal brother fighting..However,his behavior sounds dangerous since it seems to be worsening..I hope everything works out for your family..
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