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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them      Home login  
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 purplepalooza
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 1
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I mean really, if a person can't even make the small effort to read a profile before making contact, what other efforts will they lack in later? So what, profiles start to sound alike, reading a person's profile means you have some sort of interest past just noticing a good-looking picture.

When a man contacts me and asks for my name...I know he didn't even bother to read my profile...it's disappointing. Others will start off their email to me with, "Hi Debbie". Those men take the time, cudos to them!!
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 2
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:06:56 PM
Hi Debbie,

If it not apparent that they have read my profile, my first thought is that they are a scammer. If they are local, I might not think that, but I can't imagine their message being interesting enough to give serious consideration. The best first contact message I have received (from a lovely lady in Australia) filled the screen.

When I initiate contact, I have read their profile thoroughly and if they have a forum presence have most likely read many of their posts.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 3
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:13:15 PM
You may be the first person I have seen that put their name in their profile.
But yes I get contacted by people who look at the pics and send "Hi how are ya?".
Further conversation reveals they have yet to look at my profile. I go with the flow, not exactly inundated with women contacting me. LOL
 johnb224
Joined: 1/18/2010
Msg: 4
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:22:13 PM
Unfortunately, men tend to respond to a womens appearance first. This is how evolution has wired our brains. Subconsciously we look for a womans reproductive value. This may seem insulting, but its the truth.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 5
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:24:46 PM
...I can tell you that I read a person's profile if I'm interested...every word. And I would hope he would read mine.
I look for commonalities, interests, maybe pick-up on his values & beliefs....you know, try to get a sense of him through his words. And yes I do realize many profiles are worded to impress but there are certain things that appeal to me. Like someone who is positive and has a good sense of humour. I steer so for away from the negative types....

Not too long ago ( I think I mentioned this in a previous post) I had a guy contact me and he asked some questions that were right there in my profile. So I asked, "per chance, have you read my profile?" He said no...it was too long. Ok then.

And then there are those guys, like the one I am currently chatting with now who said, "You know Mae...I have read your profile about three times now and I find you......"

Damn the distance sometimes...lol

...mae
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 6
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:53:06 PM
Yes, I do expect them to read it. It's entertaining and it contains what I think is the most pertinent information that a person needs to know in order to decide if they would like to get to know me better.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 7
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:07:26 PM
Asking for your name even if it is on your profile is a "online dating ice breaker". There are millions of women on this site, millions of profiles, pictures and names. For first contact is good to read profiles but not mandatory. Many people just go for pictures and location. Profiles reading comes later. If after 2 or 3 messages he is still asking for your name send him to Limbo.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 8
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:13:17 PM
I ALWAYS read the profile of someone who contacts me! I like to know something about the person....many times there is no information, just a line or two.

The last initial email a fellow sent me was this: Hi
I read his profile and there still wasn't any indication of his likes, hobbies or interests.

Needless to say....didn't give me a reason to respond.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:21:48 PM
In a perfect world everyone would educate themselves prior to sending out an email.

I know if you go for a job interview ... you do the research. no?

However on here, where most of the men are only looking to get laid, they fire off an email without reading.

Good that you are smart enough to know who has taken the initiative to REALLY get to know you.

The ones that don't ... delete.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:28:53 PM
I expect that the ones who are truly interested in me will have read it, and that the ones that won't have read it are not truly interested in me.

Think about it, it' separates the wheat from the chaff, or at least it's one measure to use.

When my Preston asked me a question about one of my (many) interests during our first or second phone conversation, I knew that he was really interested (or at least it gave me another clue).

It's great that you can write off the ones that fail this simple, basic test immediately. You only need one, and the sooner you recognize the ones who are not him, the better.
 SunInLibra
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 11
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:36:24 PM
I would HOPE that a person contacting me has read my profile, but judging by the messages I get, apparently that's not the case most of the time. Generally, most e-mails have something to do with physical appearance. Here and there, someone will make note of something I wrote on the profile. As for myself, I do check out the profile of the other person.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 12
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:53:12 PM
99% of the notes I was getting on here, it was obvious they did not read my profile. I had a pretty blunt ptofile, no men with kids under 12 etc...and I always got mail from men with toddlers...lol...I guess it could be that they did read it and figured they were so special I'd overlook it...but it is more likely they just didnt read it.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 13
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:20:48 PM
yes, i do, because i sure read theirs.........
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:53:50 PM
To the best I could tell, if a woman contacted me, it was because she read my profile.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 15
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 3:04:51 PM
The first thing you see when browsing profiles is......PICTURES! Not profiles. Pictures make you read profiles and or immedially contacting that person. I don't get messages saying how funny is my profile without women first seeing my pictures...I don't think so!
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 16
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 3:21:17 PM

Damn the distance sometimes...lol


You got that right. I had to go back and check my filters. I thought maybe I had blocked everyone WITHIN 75 miles.

I always know when someone hasn't read my profile. The ones that start their email with I Loved Your Profile. Yeah right. Then you ask them what it was that they liked and you never hear from them again LOL

The poster who said she doesn't respond to the thoughtless "Hi" emails. Me neither. Or the ones that say "look at my profile and tell me what you think" . Good grief.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 17
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 4:38:47 PM

Mae - "You know Mae...I have read your profile about three times now and I find you......"


Nice post, Mae! I once told a woman i was chatting with I viewed her profile regularly, and each time thought of something else I found interesting enough to discuss. She said she had viewed my once initially, and not much if any since. She also thought it was weird that I payed so much attention. I knew it well enough to know when she added a new interest, but that's because I have a good memory when it comes to things I see (not so good for things I hear). To me, if you are genuinely interested in someone it's natural to want to learn about them.
 graytemplesandeyes
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 18
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 5:25:54 PM
I get the feeling that most women don't think me read their profiles, they only look at the pictures, so they don't put a lot of effort into it.

Then there are a pretty high percentage of women who start their profile by saying that they hate talking about themselves, and then they write 30 words or less and only go that far because the site forces them to. So it's pretty easy to get out of the habit of reading profiles.

In addition, the site has the MEET ME feature that makes it cumbersome to read a profile, but easy to see a pretty face and click either MAYBE or YES, or to immediately send an email.

In spite of that, I try very hard to read every profile before initiating contact. But I think I'm in the minority. I genuinely care more about what a lady writes than how gorgeous she is. I love pretty, confident eyes, but the rest is more about what she thinks.

Just a guess, but I suspect that women who post here are a lot more interested in having their profiles read than would generally be true on POF. Anybody who takes the time to contribute here, and especially if she's good at it put some care into what she wrote and wants that appreciated. But I think most men and women here are a lot more interested in the pictures in the profile than the essay, which is more than a few cases, is not very well done by the general POF profile.
============
Post edit: BTW, just because you read a profile, doesn't mean that you don't miss some stuff, especially not in the essay. The list of favorite things can say a lot. The exclusions can say a lot. And I've had a lot of women who have read my profile, miss some key information.
 melisa64
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 19
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 5:44:10 PM
i have to chime in on this one and say i always chesk out the profile. what could someone be thinking by not checking.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:24:41 PM
johnb224

I got news for you buddy. Women are the same. We go by looks but that is not all that we want. It is what we see at first impression and that goes for both sexes. We look for your reproductive value too certainly when we are fertile. We prefer taller, fitter men for their genes too. Better fathers for our children biologically. But neediness and alcohol skews all that. Every one has a different idea on what they find attractive thankfully.

 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 21
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:28:12 PM
U make it entertaining

You are right and sometimes they are just cruising and random hitting. Not everyone is sober or sane on here after all. They look at a pic and if they like it, they hit it. Just like in real life.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 22
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/5/2012 8:42:31 AM
I think it would be highly desirable if men bothered to read my profile before contacting me, but to expect them to read it is just utopian ideology.

I've just learned to view it as a compliment that these men would still find me attactive at age 53---even if I don't take them up on their offers.
 FNADude
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 23
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/5/2012 8:52:49 AM
Not only do I not read your profile but I haven't even read these replies.

But if you want the truth here it is! - Like it or not -

For men it is WORK to get a date on these sites. He has to send 100s of emails to get a few potential dates. If a man, like me, took the time to read, much less care about, every girl I contacted, I'd have no time for anything else.

Plus, AND THIS IS THE MAJOR POINT, if I read all your profiles and really wanted to connect with you I'd be constantly bummed out at the lack of responses.

So I'll quickly view your profile and if I think that there is any chance I'd like to meet you, I'll send you an email.... Then I forget about you and move on. If I do get a reply from you that is when I will go back and read your profile. At that point I will decide if I want to follow up.

oh and yes this approach does work.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 24
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/5/2012 2:41:12 PM
There is reading, and then there is comprehension.

You would be amazed at how a person can only see what they expect or want to see. I could tell many stories about that, sometimes it is quite funny if a little tragic.
 bhambucky
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 25
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 4/7/2012 6:26:40 PM
I have simple rules. The pic does pull me in at first, then i go and read the profile. I am looking for connection, things and common, and things that would be dealbreakers. Then I decide if I want to make contact.

I may be in the minority on this, but I think it's the best way to find someone.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?