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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriend      Home login  
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 sassygirl1810
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 4
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Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriendPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm pretty new to this adult dating thing. I was married for 18 years and only recently (month and 1/2) started to see someone. My children are teenagers and had met their Dad's GF in what I would say was a poor manner and early on in their relationship. I too am questioning when and how is the best way to introduce someone to your kids. I don't want to b eone of those parents that have people coming and going from my life as well as my childrens.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 11
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Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriend
Posted: 4/12/2012 2:50:50 PM
i no of a lot of people that date that have kids and new bf/gf will not meet kids for at lest a yr maybe longer . i never let any gf our girl iam dating meet my kid ether in less iam going to get married other it wont happen. i also no woman that ever new bf is kids new daddy to be happen once to me i ran far away
 rusty_trombone
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 13
Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriend
Posted: 4/13/2012 6:32:34 PM
Madame,

You sound as if your new love interest were being intorduced to your pet cat rather than a child. Good woman, have you no idea of the effect on your child if you introduce him/her to EVERY potential mate? I suggest you check your self interest at the door and place your child's interest first and foremost, which, in this case, you certianly did not. Even more heinous given the occasion you chose in which to introduce said mate.

Good day.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 14
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Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriend
Posted: 4/14/2012 3:50:51 PM
like i said this is realy a bad idea maybe she want a new bf to be kids dad who nows . if some girl did this to me i run
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 17
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Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriend
Posted: 10/29/2012 2:10:26 AM
I must admit I am a little conflicted about this kind of scenario. I separated from my daughter's father when she was 6 and did not date til she was 16 and had her own b/f! I am not suggesting that this is the way to go but I had a lot of reflecting and growing to do because of emotional abuse from my ex.

I work with preschoolers, and by and large they are open, resilient and just happy to make new friends. Just because mum or dad says.. 'Hey! This is my friend so-and-so. Lets play!' the child is NOT going to become attached all that fast. As long as mum/dad is a constant.. its all good. I see kiddies attaching to caregivers at work and then forming new attachments as carers leave and are replaced. I know it is not exactly the same but just like us, children have the capacity to like/love a large number of people.

While I do NOT advocate the revolving door thing, I honestly think that the children seeing mum/dad interacting happily with another adult is actually a positive. My SO does not get this and when his 12 year old is around, he does not act as he usually does, ie no spontaneous hugs or touching. I tell him... how do you expect K to form an idea of a normal relationship when you do not act as you normally would around me?

OP I think you probably handled it well. You did not say how long you have been seeing the guy, and I suppose that may have some bearing on things. So tricky. But do NOT feel bad- you have not irreparably damaged your child. Go with your instincts :)
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