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 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 2
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Is ejaculation important?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I can honestly say that I have had some loving sex and have not ejaculated.
As long as I make in known that it was fine with me, I never got any complaints.

Ejaculation is superb, but I have not ejaculated every time I made love in the past.
 Twitch369
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 4
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 12:13:36 PM
The question is are you not having an orgasm or are you having an orgasm and not ejaculating. I've had the second and I can tell you it's pretty amazing. Allows for multiple orgasms. As for the first I could see a lot of women having a problem with it. Insecurities will come into play just as it would for a man who couldn't make his partner orgasm. I suggest speaking with a urologist to see if it's a physical problem. Nobody should have to live life without the ability to have an orgasm.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 5
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 12:20:24 PM
I read this when you first posted and took a few minutes to think about it.

For me, I think communication would be key. Obviously we are each limited to our own experiences in many matters and this isn't something I've experienced. I think, without some very clear communication, I would initially at least wonder, if it was something I was (or wasn't doing) and whether or not at the end of it you were sexually satisfied would certainly play on my mind. It could certainly open up insecurities if this wasn't openly discussed.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7
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Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 1:34:07 PM

My question is;

Are men upset or frustrated if the woman doesn't climax, even if they do?

Well?? How does that work for you now?

If it's an occasional thing, no big deal. If it's a consistant thing, might be an issue. I don't have to climax everytime I have sex. Sometimes it just doesn't happen.

I happen to get a lot of enjoyment of out his orgasm, and I like to make it happen. Or not. I can enjoy that too, but that's a whole other topic.. hehe. If he never or rarely orgasmed, I'd be sad and feel that I was inadequate in some way. Or maybe I'd have a conversation with him and ask if there's something going on, if maybe I'm missing something he wants, or maybe he's just not in the mood.
 sailor-
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 8
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Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 1:37:22 PM
must agree with ping there .not sure if it has some thing to do with the greay around the temples or what ? but bottom line is it is always great ..when a fine lady allows a good ride eh..weather a jucy ending or?? it is still a great happening
 brad6041
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 10
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 2:17:12 PM
dude i feel you.i have the toughest time blowing my load.most times i cant,but i alwats get asked if im gay,and the answer is hell no.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 11
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 2:24:14 PM
Being that I am used to being the one who doesn't always come,so it's always
"strange" to me if my guy doesn't get off during sex.I don't like it and
I can imagine how it makes him feel when I don't.Like he (or I'm) not "good enough"
somehow.Call it "taking it personally" but how can one not?

It's unfinished and for me,an orgasm marks the end of sex so it feels 'undone' when he doesn't cum.

I wonder,have you EVER had an orgasm? Alone? Or with a woman?Do you jerk off to Porn too much
so that actual sex isn't stimulating enough for you? Do you orgasm,but not ejaculate?
That might make a difference to me as I wouldn't mind skipping the "clean up"
as it makes my **** stink.lol

Oh...and it doesn't mean you are gay,but it does mean somthing and it seems to me
the question shouldn't be,how does it make others feel,so much as why are you willing to go without an orgasm?And how can I learn to come?Who do I speak to about this issue?

Have you ever sought help for it? I see it as a problem that you shouldn't have to endure.
 Sabetha
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 13
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 2:27:56 PM
you need to stop masturbating completely for at least a month, maybe two... should fix you right up.

I hate it when a guy doesn't get off.. especially when I try everything. But, I learned that often super nerdy guys that can't get laid masturbate so much the puzzy doesn't feel as tight as Rosie...

try that. see if it helps/.
 DaniSocial
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 14
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 2:50:42 PM

Are women upset or frustrated if the man doesn't climax, even if they do?


Yes, I would be frustrated. Aren't you, if the girl you are with doesn't have an orgasm? (you used the term "climax" so I am going to assume you don't reach orgasm....which to me, is way more important than not ejaculating).

If it is once in a while than no biggie but if my partner never reached orgasm while with me (even if I did) it would make me feel almost sad. Sharing that 'moment' with someone is a big turn on to me.

Do you ever reach orgasm?
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 16
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 3:25:04 PM
Well, I've had that happen to me with only one guy (yet) that he did not orgasm, neither during intercourse nor oral stimulation. The first couple of times it felt kinda weird, but after a while and him reassuring all the time that this happened to him more often than not I really did not let it bother me anymore.

Honestly, I do not remember whether my guy was circumcised or not, but circumcision seems to be the hot topic recently as more and more men are complaining they are missing out now due to being mutilated as babies without any medical indication.

In this discussion it is always mentioned that circumcision makes the nerve endings somehow less sensitive, therefore many circumcised men have a harder time./need longer to reach an orgasm than their uncircumcised counterparts, especially when using a condom.

You might want to read up on it, maybe there are some useful ideas/information around?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 17
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Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 3:59:05 PM
Della,

I'm not circumcised, and while me being unable to ejaculate, all other system were go (erection, feeling of bliss for satisfying my late wife, feeling great myself). As I said, it was not frequent, but it has happened.

It was not because my late wife didn't turn me on, she did all through our life together. Up until the last month of her life (lt was just 27 days from the doc appointment to me holding her in Hospice, as she slipped away..colon cancer-beatable, but it spread and consumed her liver-making it fatal), we were very sexually active, daily.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 18
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Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 5:03:28 PM

On my own I have no problem whatsoever.


Then this would be an issue for me.......and would be an indication that you have desensitized yourself to a woman's softer touch.
There isn't a puzzy on earth that will have the grip you are giving yourself......and most women are timid about gripping a penis with their hands as firmly as you do it to yourself.

I agree that you need to lay off the self lovin' for a bit....
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 19
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 5:37:13 PM
Ejaculation for women is just as important as men needing to hear a woman moan.
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 20
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 5:54:53 PM

Is ejaculation important?

From the sperms perspective it, yes it is very important.
 Monica417
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 21
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 6:38:05 PM
Well, when I was a teenager, I was with a guy who didn't/couldn't ejaculate during sex. He was very nice about it and made sure I knew it had nothing to do with me, but I must admit it did give me insecurities...However, he was always ready to go, could last forever and was a very considerate lover...so, IDK...I would probably think it a little weird at first, but as long as everything else was ok, I could work with it!
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 23
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:29:05 PM
Is ejaculation important?

If you don't ejaculate then you're impotent.

I hope that helps.
 Monica417
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 24
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/10/2012 8:06:53 PM
Yes, and for the love of God OP~ stop watching porn and masturbating!! Real sex isn't porn sex, you gotta get used to the real thing. And leave yourself alone!
 HeartOn64
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 25
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/11/2012 3:46:52 AM

My biggest problem is I don't like the woman feeling that she's sexually inadequate or that she's doing something wrong which in mostly all cases she isn't.


Well,unfortunately,I think most women would feel that way even if you tell them otherwise.
But the reality is that it is you,not them,that's the problem.


With the more common problem in men being premature ejaculation I think it takes a woman by surprise when you don't cum at all.


It would be disconcerting to me either way but I couldn't tell you which is worse as I am with a man who comes,but not too fast.But almost worse would be knowing that you can get off yourself,but not with a woman.


In answer to a few questions I don't orgasm or ejaculate.


During sex... for clarification sake.


On my own I have no problem whatsoever.


Do you always watch porn to get off?It seems there is a direct correlation between Porn and desensitization for some men.And I doubt it has to be daily use to have a negative effect.


The watching too much porn and losing the connection to reality might be a factor but not as much as any other guy.


You can't say that without knowing how much porn others use compared to yourself.But it can become a serious factor in why you can't get off with a woman!!! It IS the reason.


Have any of you women ever encountered the same with circumcised guys (like myself). Maybe I've lost the sensitivity down there or something?


Unless you have an ironfisted grip...I doubt that.

Sex begins in your head and if you ever want to be able to come with a woman,you are going to have to "REBOOT" your brain,not your dyck,but going cold turkey without porn or masterbation for as long as it takes to regain your ability to orgasm everytime you have sex with a woman.

http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-10-26/news/30323512_1_libido-sexual-enhancement-dopamine


After a period of time, excessive porn watchers overstimulate a neurochemical in their bodies called dopamine — the drive behind every "want" and "desire" that humans feel we need to "overcome." But with your libido in constant drive mode, your dopamine reaction will become numb and, eventually, you won't be aroused by the same experiences as before.

The only cure is to avoid internet erotica at all costs, but this will be "one of the most difficult things you've ever done," says the study.

In order to have "normal" sex again, a "reboot" period — six to 12 weeks — is needed by completely letting go of your pornographic nature. Addicts can experience a temporary loss of libido altogether as well as "insomnia, irritability, panic, despair, concentration problems, and even flu-like symptoms.
Young men in their 20s apparently have no groove in bed — and it's all because they're addicted to pornography, according to a report in Psychology Today.

But the problem is much more serious than simply either being good or bad in the sack, it's a physiological issue causing a new generation of men to lose their libidos 30 years sooner than expected.


Think about it.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 27
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/11/2012 6:50:01 AM
petygrace80

OP, I agree that it can cause a bit of insecurity but think of this; it will make the girl work that much harder to make it happen, lol...When I tell a guy I can't get off he says "Well you haven't met the right guy" OR "Well I can make you" They act like it's a contest


Obviously not every man is the same. 25 years ago I had dated a women who told me she never had an orgasm. I knew she had slept with many men, she had told me about some of them.

I believed her, the result was I didn't felt the need to try to make her orgasm. I may think I am different and special, but not that special. :)

On the other had I dated a women that would have an orgasm the first 5 min I entered her. She was a lot more fun and I would try hard to see how crazy I could make her in bed. Only "problem", she once split my lip and she would bite hard enough to leave marks on me for weeks.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 28
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/11/2012 6:52:44 AM

OP, I agree that it can cause a bit of insecurity but think of this; it will make the girl work that much harder to make it happen, lol...When I tell a guy I can't get off he says "Well you haven't met the right guy" OR "Well I can make you" They act like it's a contest


That is until they find out for themselves that it's not worth the effort and give the hell up and find someone who CAN orgasm one way or another besides alone.

Giving someone an orgasm,at least for me,is an ego boost...so not being able to is the opposite.

Nothing worse than sucking a guy off for too long with no results or having to say....umm..if you aren't going to finish...could you get off OF me please!

Thanks.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 29
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Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/11/2012 7:53:06 AM
Men and women are under constant attack and pollution by endocrine disruptors from BigChem.

FDA just refused to ban BPA

"In a five-year study, men with detectable levels of BPA in their bloodstreams showed signs of serious reproductive problems: more than twice the risk of lower sperm motility, more than three times the risk of lowered sperm concentration and lower sperm virility, and more than four times the risk of a lower sperm count (all compared to men without detectable levels).

By the way, when we're talking about people with detectable levels, we're talking about an estimated 90 percent of the United States population.

It gets worse--BPA builds up in our systems much more quickly than anyone thought when concerns about the chemical were first raised. Up until last year, studies on BPA were based on one-time administrations. Then, a breakthrough study found that when we take in BPA through eating (it transfers from the containers in which the food is stored), it hangs around in the body and accumulates rapidly.

Other countries around the world have banned it in food packaging. Here in the United States, the FDA refused to ban BPA two years ago. Instead, they said that we should take "reasonable measures" to avoid it. Which is absolutely ridiculous, considering the sheer number of products that include BPA in their packaging."

from a newsletter

"Nutrition and Healing - Christine O'Brien"

Add in no exercise (under-oxygenated, under-used uro-genital arteries), pre-diabetic/diabetic neuropathy, overweight/obesity, there are MANY reasons much more suspect than "porn".
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 31
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Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/11/2012 9:09:57 AM
Altho you arent trying to make people feel inadequate.. thats how many people will feel. Thats why they are saying this.
So unfortunately this may be a problem for you. You will need to learn how to work with what you have.
 balrog67
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 32
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/11/2012 10:25:15 AM

Insecurities will come into play just as it would for a man who couldn't make his partner orgasm.


This disturbing concept has been mentioned several times in this thread.

Nobody 'makes' their partner cum. You are not responsible for someone elses climax - we are all responsible for our own climax. Human sexual expression is not a 'chore' that you have to perform. Develop Trust, create Intimacy, communicate desires, and orgasms will drop like rain in Seattle...

It's a POV thing. The attitude that 'my partner didn't make me cum' is a copout. It's self-defeating. Do you Trust them with your body? Did you tell them what you like, or just lay there for hours hoping they would get lucky and provide the correct stimulation that rings yer bell and makes you talk to Jesus?

The best you can be is a 'facilitator' of your partners pleasure. Pay attention, focus, respond to their stated desires, and certainly, try some esoteric shit he/she hasn't even mentioned - we don't know what we don't know - but bringing the dynamic of "OK, let's see if you can make me Cum" to lifes playground is just counter-productive.

Further, don't pressure me to cum, I'll cum when I damn well decide to. I will NEVER hold you responsible if I don't cum. That's not your gig. Brush yer teeth, clean yer ass, smile at me, communicate your desires, fetishes and fantasies, and I'll do the same. The orgasms will take care of themselves.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 37
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/12/2012 3:46:26 AM

Nobody 'makes' their partner cum. You are not responsible for someone elses climax - we are all responsible for our own climax.


I'll explain that to my guy when I stop mid-head.
What? I'm not responsible for getting you off.

I've taken 100% responsibility for my own orgasms by hand, for decades,because the men I have had sex with
"didn't feel responsible for it".

Obviously I beg to differ.I can't go down on myself until I reach an orgasm but if I could,I would.
 balrog67
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 38
Is ejaculation important?
Posted: 4/12/2012 5:46:14 AM

I've taken 100% responsibility for my own orgasms by hand, for decades,because the men I have had sex with
"didn't feel responsible for it".


Or perhaps you aren't communicating your desires well. Effective communication has a lot to do with attitude and perspective, which was the point I was making.

I ask you to review your stated scenario - presumably several men...over decades....all disappointing.....and you.

See the common denominator here? It ain't the men.... I'm just sayin'.
:-(
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