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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person      Home login  
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 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the personPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I know what you mean - it's the instant gratification some people want. Personally, I'm a giver. My time, my effort. I just do that. Others hold their hands out and suck you dry. Just move on and let them get on with it and try not to get hooked into yourself. Not always easy but we tend to clue in eventually.
 PutYouOnBlast
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 3
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/10/2012 6:19:15 PM
Sadly, people are protecting what little they have and end up making quick judgements about a potential partner without getting to know them first. Sometimes, it is not about what little they have, but about not trying to pick up what they feel will become 'dead weight'---the good ole 'I have a Masters and you only have an Associates'. Money, money, money.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 4
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:03:29 PM

I have been on this website for quite sometime and it's not just the internet dating sites but in everyday life as well. It seems that everyone is only intersested in what the other partner can do for them. Is it just me.


No; I also feel that entitlement and "what can you do for me today" is prevelant in our N.A. society. I suppose that iw why there is so much divorce once you can't fulfill their wants for a stretch; you're gone, and you're replaced.

The same can be said for employees.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 5
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Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/10/2012 8:08:26 PM
My experiences is it's all about her and not me, women want the attention, compliments, and to be taken care of, when she is satisfied what do men get? Women should date for his priority not her preference.
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 6
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/11/2012 8:52:37 AM
Yes and no. I see two distinct groups of people on here that could give that impression.

One group is simply shallow. I avoid them as much as possible.

The other group might seem a bit shallow at first glance, but in reality they are simply "guarded." A lot of people have been deeply hurt in the past, so their first priority is protecting themselves (and their children if they have any.). That does not mean that they are not interested in a genuine relationship, but it will take some time to peal away the layers.
 Sillyworld
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 8
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Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/14/2012 6:14:57 PM
Unfortunately we are in an age of "Me me me". The whole "What have you done for me lately" attitude is alive and flourishing. Sadly, there are simply way too many people who think far, far too highly of themselves.
 maxm31533
Joined: 3/9/2012
Msg: 10
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/16/2012 11:10:46 AM
My brain seems to wired in reverse, so when I hear someone complain about what others are not doing, I always look at the source. If you are expecting others to give to you freely, then you are on the wrong planet. If you feel others should give you more, get over it. We are all ( wanters). We all want somethings. I give more than most to many, but I have learned never to expect anything back. If I find myself playing the " Barter Game", I step back and try to see it for what it is. If someone is taking unfairly from you, it is your job to interject and/or find someone different. My employer does not give me a check, I earn it ( most of the time.) You have to be a friend, to have a friend. To be happy, you should understand where your boundaries are, and stick to them. It is not the job of others to provide you with anything. It is their choice.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 13
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/16/2012 8:02:13 PM
Every guy I've dated in the last ten years has been constantly broke and looking to me to pay their way


Lol; interestingly enough, I've managed to pay "her" way even WHEN I was broke (consistently "paid")

;P

I know, I know, "sucker"

The good ones ffer to throw in, and value the gesture and the reach on my part,

There's good girls out there; just more inhumane gold diggin cashsll*ts; that's all.

:)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/17/2012 8:43:42 PM
It seems that everyone is only intersested in what the other partner can do for them. Is it just me.

If you really care about the people you interact with, you'll have no difficulty finding others who care about you. If you're expecting others to care about you first, then good luck with that.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 15
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Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/18/2012 9:25:16 AM
I feel the same way....it's always, "what have you done for ME in the last 60 seconds" with some people!
 samurai401
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 16
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/19/2012 1:47:42 AM
Honestly not trying to point fingers but its the women more than the men that are the problem. How many men out there are golddiggers compared to women? You women should take after the character Lisa McDowell in the movie classic "Coming to America" she was willing to marry a "goat herder" when Eddie Murphy's character was a prince pretending to be poor to find a woman to love him for him what a novel concept. You also should realize we live in a bad economy so ANY man that actually works a full time job rather than a career job is in a good place. Also these days more women have jobs than men i think. I've met them personally, women that have multiple jobs and i don't know as many men that do. Women these days don't need men to be the breadwinners just equals or close to it money wise. Money, money, money, material things. These are why marriages don't last. I have parents that have been married for 33 years and they have struggled in their lives financially at times but have never pulled the plug on their marriage. Everyone should take after them. The whole better or worse in marriage seems to only matter with the better part and as soon as the worse part comes the woman wants to bail.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 17
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Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/21/2012 11:02:39 AM
Ever notice how a lot of profiles are focused on ME, me, me?
They all talk about what they want, what they expect, what they need from you.
They almost always never talk about what they can bring into your life.
 sledgehammer79
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 18
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/23/2012 10:25:03 AM
I agree with the OP. The reason why relationships are failing and / or people are alone and can't find someone is because we are a selfish society. Don't get me wrong, you have to look out for yourself to a degree when dating because you don't wanna end up with the wrong partner, however, as quite a few of you stated earlier it's all about what can he/she do for me. A relationship takes work, sadly many are too damn selfish to put in the work and think they're entitled to a non-stop honeymoon like hollywood wants us to believe. So when the going gets a little tough, time to bail because the grass must be greener on the other side! I really don't see this trend reversing either.
 sledgehammer79
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 19
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/23/2012 10:28:11 AM
samuri401 that's a great post. very true
 dannynightman
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 20
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 4/23/2012 10:52:36 AM
well i know that it is true the only thing people seem to care about is your pocket book or what you can do for them i did an experiment on my profile i said if your interested in money move on and if you want someone to care for you and respect you send me a message i had over 60 people look at my profile and 4 answered and i also said no headgames now that phrase if your interested in money move on most moved on and what i found amazing is all these women said they wanted someone to care for them and that is honest i dont think that is really what they want these sites are like a grocery list that you check off or on takes the humanity out because you are only typing not actually meeting the person i dont know what does everybody else think
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 22
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:02:20 PM
Most people that are in this situation tend to stick to theirselves..Less drama and hurt!!!!!


Which is much better than the types who want to make sure someone else feels the pain, and work hard to be the one to pass that pain.

I used to like people
 billyredneck10
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 23
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Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 5/27/2012 7:33:56 PM
I know exactly what you are talking about, I may not be the best looking thing, but I am far from ugly, but yet no messages. I think I am just gonna delete my profile and say the heck with it!
 deedee0916
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 25
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 5/28/2012 1:37:38 PM
I would agree to some extent. I think the danger of internet dating is that you learn how to dismiss people very quick without ever giving them a chance. One wrong remark and it is " Next". I think that applies to most of us. I do agree that this is a very disposable society and many people care more about the superficial things e. g. How much you exercise, etc.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:40:59 PM
Just look at what's on TV these days... Jersey Shore, Kardashians, "Real" Housewives of where-ever... self-centered shallow zero-talent people famous for what exactly? Survivor (and others), where people either make fake 'alliances' for their own gain, and/or then 'stab each other in the back', to win some money. Its a reflection of our society (and people actually watch that crap and *cheer* for these people ).
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 28
Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person
Posted: 5/29/2012 10:59:42 PM
Honestly not trying to point fingers but its the women more than the men that are the problem. How many men out there are golddiggers compared to women?


And that's a load of crap, Samurai - how many men are out there just looking for sex and not giving a crap about the woman after? Its the same thing, "I'm only concerned with getting what *I* want, and I'll do whatever it takes, including lie through my teeth, to get it".


The whole better or worse in marriage seems to only matter with the better part and as soon as the worse part comes the woman wants to bail.


Do I really have to mention all the guys I know who, lets see - they have a kid and he's off cheating while she's stuck with a baby? Or his wife gets cancer and he's banging his secretary? Oh, wait, that's right.. then she files for divorce and it's all *her fault* right?

(Oh yeah, and the I could mention the one that was leaving his wife & 2 kids at home while he's off banging some fugly barfly who's his "drinking and coke buddy", they divorce, and he quits his $60K/yr job so he only has to pay minimal child support, for his own kids (what was that about selfish?) - funnily enough they were living in *his* parents downstairs apartment, they kicked him out and let her stay with their grandkids).

Some members of both sexes are equally guilty. And quite honestly, 15 minutes of browsing threads in here makes that painfully obvious.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Anybody else feel like no one cares anymore about the person