Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > What is the deal with the game business?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
What is the deal with the game business?Page 1 of 1    

He sent me a text back relatively quickly saying his week has been good and he was meeting his friends up at the bar near where we live for the game, but otherwise he would say yes. He said he leaves in the morning going out of town (he tells me the location) for a few days, but that we should get together after.

What does this all mean?


Oh....you call and try to make a date that very night? AND he already had plans? GO FIGURE???? Why should he break it off with his friends when you decide to call at the last minute? Would you like him to call you Friday for a date on Friday night, when you already had plans to be with friends that night - and then expect you to dump your friends for him?
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 4
view profile
History
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:25:01 PM

Do men like when girls ask them out (we have already be on 2 dates already).


It never hurts to ask.

Are you going to ask him out on a date or invite him to your place for a movie/drinks and/or a meal (like last time)?
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 5
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:26:44 PM
If you were always waiting to respond to him, and showed luke warm interest, then he was probably ready to move on.

Initiating probably kept things going. You've indicated you like him. He had already indicated he liked you, and you're response was "yeah, yeah" by your words here. No guy is going to keep on trying if there's not much coming back.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 7
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:55:52 PM
I was saying showing interest is the right thing to do here. He probably thought you weren't interested until you did that. He responded to your show of interest by immediately making plans to see you again.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 8
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:56:46 PM
Well lets just run this into the ever handy Guy Translation Software and see:

"He said he leaves in the morning going out of town (he tells me the location) for a few days, but that we should get together after. "

whirrrrr
whirrrr
Whirrrrr

Translation:

"He leaves in the morning going out of town (he tells me the location) for a few days, but that we should get together after. "

Well heck, it seems he meant what he said.
(and that is just frickin rare!)

I suggest you contact him when he's back and see if he wants to go out.
I also suggest you don't just wait for him to contact you.
Cus you don't act like you even like him,
so he's trying to see if you do.
If you won't,
you don't.
We're men and we keep things simple.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 12
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:11:13 PM
Stop playing 'the game'.

You are 30 years old and still following dating rules?

I'm surprised he kept initiating all those times without you reciprocating? He told you he felt a connection and you said 'yeah'?

I think he was on the point of giving up, then he got an initial text from you, so now he is backing off just a tiny bit to see if you are going to start showing as if you are actually interested.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 13
view profile
History
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:14:14 PM
comedy of errors. don't you see the irony here? one reason you can't tell whether he's being authentic is because you're so invested in inauthenticity. you believe it shows interest when you act disinterested. you believe if you show genuine interest, it will transform his interest into disinterest. no means yes. black means white. with this kind of mindset, there's no way NOT to be confused, because there's no face-value baseline by which to judge anyone's behavior.

you're groping for a strategy to manipulate his perception of you. manipulations are games. because YOU are the game player, you project that willingness to manipulate on those around you.

why not just be genuine? it's a whole lot easier than trying to follow some playbook - so many fewer 'rules' to remember. plus the added advantage that it tends to make honesty (and dishonesty) easier to recognize in others. isn't honesty what you're looking for?
 TheCoolGreenMoss
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 16
view profile
History
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:30:06 PM
Yeah.. I'd [also] suggest you being genuine (first, with yourself - because you're obviously not; secondly, with the people you're dating). This whole "I don't initiate communications" thing (and other 'stuff') screams of narcissism.

Is it safe to assume that this type of behavior is not new to you? Am not trying to be harsh - but since you asked, that's just one (distant) opinion. Otherwise - for what purpose is this 'game playing?' One possible answer is to confirm to you, that you are the important one in the relationship.

This guy is potentially your best friend (if things worked out in a story-book way) - instead of being yourself/genuine - you're holding back and playing relationship-tiddlywinks . At what point would you reverse that course and go the other way? (And will he be around when that happens - of course you're attractive and all, so maybe he'll stick around a while..)
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 18
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 8:40:57 PM
Maybe contact him when he's back and say you missed him alittle.
If you are posting here....you did......at least some.

You don't have to do somersaults to let a guy know you like him a little.
Just a few words will do.
It doesn't mean he owns you or anything.
He's still got to woo and wow you if he can.
but at least let him know you are interested in him doing so.
:-)

good luck.
 qualityl
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 19
What is the deal with the game business?
Posted: 4/12/2012 9:33:15 PM
I like a man who takes charge and asks me out. I really like a guy who had a wonderful date and the next day has ask me out for next weekend cause he is into me! Communication is key and chemistry! :)
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > What is the deal with the game business?