Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > When a woman sends the first message.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 prometheus1666
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 2
When a woman sends the first message.Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I think its great and its how I met the only girl I ever dated off this site. We dated for 4 months and it was fun.
 TempusFujis
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 3
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:51:53 PM
Nahhhh I receive a few messages and it doesn't bother me, its kind of flattering most times except if she is a swamp donkey or a booboo
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 4
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:53:29 PM
I think it is great, indicates enough interest to make the first move.
Each can decide from there, I always message back.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 5
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:54:19 PM
I think this whole online dating thing has to and should go BOTH ways,not being forward at all if a female responds first.
Hint,hint!
This form of dating has a slightly different set of rules/format that doesn't necessarily apply the traditional and somewhat archaic"guy ask girl" ways of the past.IMO
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 6
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:57:09 PM
some men take it as "desperate" BUT if the 1st message is a brief "hello" w/ no pressure, if they r interested they can then take the lead.

A guy who is on here primarily to have his ego stroked is not the best bet for a relationship!
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 8
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:47:10 PM
This is an on-line dating site, send msgs to whoever and often. It's not like being at a real time social event and hitting on every man there. If you see a guy you like, write to him. That's how this thing works. They will either reply or not, no big deal.
 JDinMN
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 10
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:04:21 PM
haha Procolharem. ^^^

To the OP. Send away. This is the 21st century for goodness sake. Some "rules" are meant to be broken. Good job to you for breaking the mold.

It actually is good that you are confident enough to reach out to someobody you find attractive and not bound down by some set of "rules" that you had no say in helping to develop.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 11
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:28:48 PM
I had many first contact from women, but most of the first message are weird. I can't figure out if they are interested in me or my profile. Check the type of messages I get:

"You sound arrogant in your profile but you are funny"

"Hey, my name is ^^^^. I've read your profile and made me laugh"

Then I write back and they just disappear.
 PamiOakley
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 12
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:41:01 PM
I'm having a meet and greet tomorrow with a man I sent the first message to. Honestly, if I see a person here whose profile interests me, I have no problem saying hello and commenting on the things we appear to have in common. I've discovered that by slightly altering my search options, different people show up. That said, I may or may not show up on someone else's search options. You could miss the person of your dreams by not saying hello!
 Marksfishing
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 13
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:43:39 PM
I've had a few that just said "Hello". It's nice way of letting me know they are interested.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 14
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:45:51 PM
No........ its not being forward. I believe that most would find it very acceptable.
 02hdf150
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 17
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 4:10:34 AM
I've had women send me a first message. I'm flattered but often times they only write "hello" or "you have a nice smile" Like some women state that they want guys to take the time to read their profile well, it works the same for some men as well. Like Wrandy said:
I appreciate women that are confident and self-assured and those that write me usually have those qualities.

I'd have to agree with that.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 19
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 4:33:20 AM
I don't even bother anymore.

Once upon a time when I was open to dating, I had a very nice profile on here and a couple of other places. - and yes, I sent some very, very nice messages - TOOK THE TIME to actually craft each one - sent them - and received either nasty responses or no response at all.

So no point - I have closed off to dating and just send messages/chat with the friends I have made on here and partipate in the forums and nothing more.

It is what it is
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 21
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 4:52:20 AM

I've had a few that just said "Hello". It's nice way of letting me know they are interested.


X2 on that
Lots of people on POF seem to be bulletproof and deal with the constant rejection of potential dates not responding in a positive manner. But I look at the profiles of some of the ladies who have messaged me and figure it took quite a bit for them to even write that much.
 softshoe100
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 6:01:44 AM
Message away ladies. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 23
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:39:59 AM
Op,i dont really understand why you wouldn't message someone who caught your eye?
That is what you're here for,ie:to make a connection with someone,and i would imagine many,many men would be thrilled to get an email from someone.
If no one on here ever messaged anyone,this Site wouldn't even exist!
So...................message away
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 24
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:42:15 AM
OP,

I think it is perfectly fine, and not demeaning, nor thought to be anything else.
I actually think more of the woman, truthfully. I like a woman like that.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:43:32 AM

Sadly, for the most part they just call me names like "pig" or something, but for a few seconds it's quite flattering.


Ohhhhhh,,,,,I think I got ya beat on that one. I've been called sooooooo many things here, even I would blush saying the words out loud. ;) I do get all excited though when I do see a email from someone that I haven't talked to,,,,then,,,,,I open it. :(
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 26
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:47:07 AM

Believe it or not, I've had a few.
Sadly, for the most part they just call me names like "pig" or something, but for a few seconds it's quite flattering.


Well, at least you enjoy the messages before you open them!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 8:08:21 AM
I have always enjoyed women that are assertive enough to message me for whatever reason they feel that they want to do that.

Since men get so many fewer contacts than women overall, in my opinion, it just makes sense that instead of a man contacting 100 in order to get one or two to hopefully respond, that a woman can contact four or five and get about the same amount to return their emails!

Maybe if more would take the contact as a compliment and return it the same way, even if not interested, we would not have so many feeling as insulted and/or upset about the process.

cd
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 28
view profile
History
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 8:45:30 AM
I prefer it when they write first. All but one of the women I met and dated contacted me first, including the one I married. If I write first, I'm probably just one of many, and it's hard to stand out. If they are confident enough to initiate, that's a good indicator that they may know what they want and have sufficient self-esteem to feel they can get it.
 carolyn355
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 29
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 1:40:57 PM
UUGGGGH, I hid my profile due to the emails, some were nice, some not and it got too bothersome weeding through all that stuff, However, since I hid the profile I have contacted a couple of guys and it has never turned out good. It may just be me because I'm not aggressive at all and making the first move has made me feel off kilter from the first letter which probably comes through when I communicate. This is the first time I have been on a dating site and I only did it because I work long hours and moved to a city where I don't know anyone. Now that I have tried it, I've decided not to contact anyone anymore and will probably delete my account.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 30
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 2:30:07 PM
I love it when a woman is interested enough in me to break the ice!
The best relationships I've ever had were started by the woman.


When I first discovered PoF..... I waited for the men to contact me. But after I became comfortable, I started to initiate first contact, especially after reading some of the responses from the men on the forums regarding this very issue.

Unfortunately, sending out that first e-mail hasn't worked out well for me. It just never goes anywhere....More recently, actually within the last week, I contacted two men in my area that I thought to be both attractive and interesting. A few e-mails were initally exchanged between myself and both men, but after a few days they just sorta petered off and I was left wondering, "what the hell?"

So for me, I think I will continue to leave it up to the man to make first contact, That way I'm assured that the interest is there on his part to begin with.

...mae
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 32
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 2:42:44 PM

How does a man feel if a woman views his profile and then initiates the first message?


Personally, I like it and am surprised when it doesn't happen (since this IS 2012).


Do they think that is acceptable, or do they think the woman is being too forward? Or is that an old-fashioned view?


Yes, no, and yes. It is an old-fashioned view.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 33
When a woman sends the first message.
Posted: 4/14/2012 2:55:34 PM
I have sent out the first message a few times, get the "read, deleted" thing....or just no response. It was so defeating I stopped doing it. Now if I'm interested in someone I put them on my favorites list, they are notified of this and I figure if a guy is interested, he'll contact me.
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > When a woman sends the first message.