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Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 1
Disabled Dating?Page 1 of 1    
Well I'm a wheelchair user, and throughout my whole life so far I have had no luck whatsoever with dating girls. Just posting this to see wht u girls think of dating a disabled man, whats your point of view? Dont sugarcoat anything Im really confused and need to know so i know if i stand a chance. Granted my personality needs some wrk but i do get out in the world just like anyone else.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 2
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Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/13/2012 6:50:26 PM
Someone just posted this question on this same forum within the last couple of hours. The thread is here:

I'll quote my own response from the other one

Most people wouldn't. [date someone in a wheelchair]

But then, most people wouldn't be interested in dating any particular individual. The things that make us unique also make us no appeal to the majority of the population. If you are aiming at a monogamous relationship it only takes one, right?
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 3
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/13/2012 8:09:44 PM
You're going to have some challenges OP, Im not going to sugar coat but and I say what you can do is keep participating on the forums and local forums and get to know people you can meet all sorts of people and friendships and you never know how many folks might know someone they could set you up with .

Youre a good looking kid , so I say have patience , did you try dating site that caters to disabled folks?
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 4
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Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/13/2012 9:54:15 PM
'Disabled Dating'....enabled dating with a person who has disabilities. If you let your disability define you, thats silly. You're a man first and foremost. You have a pulse. You have intrinsic rights to be valued as a human being; irregardless of disability.
Take it from one who was born a little different to most. No-one much cares about the bits I have missing; they seem to focus on me as a person and that which I have to offer the world, or in an inter-personal relationship.
May I ask you something; Would you date a woman in a wheelchair?
If your values reflect a 'no' to that answer, well your values are up the shite!
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 5
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:28:20 PM
Yes disabled people date all the time. To increase your chances you should get a profile forum. You should also state in your profile that you're in a wheelchair, that way there won't be any surprises when you roll up on them. Good luck.
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 6
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:42:00 AM
i guess my post sounded like i was downing myself, i never let my disability define me i go above nd beyond it every roadblock in my way i pushed through in my life. I'm in college nd proving stereotypes wrong by maintaing a 3.8 GPA....nd i would date a woman in a chair if I can meet one, some girls in chairs tht i kno live too far away.
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 7
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:43:57 AM
nd tempus i have tried dating site for disabled but they live so far away its not worth it
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 8
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:57:26 AM
Okay Quickwheelz, fair enough.... Okay well I think the best thing for you is
to participate on the forums make some new friends and you never know someone on here
could play cupid or someone might catch your attention, mind you most of them are probably too
far away as well.

Just be patient young grasshopper, just be patient.
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 9
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 10
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 8:36:12 AM
do not give up on alternate sites...someone local may sign up & then u may have missed an opportunity...
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 11
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Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 12:04:10 PM
apparently you need to try murderball
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 12
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 12:51:06 PM
I have never dated a guy in a wheelchair myself, but there was a guy in one in one of my college classes, and he had the best luck with girls. He was charming and brilliant and believe me, the girls went for him like he was the last man on earth. So yes, someone is out there for you, you just have to find her.

My point of view is that you need to find someone whose interests are compatible with what you can do, like going to
the movies and theatre and any activities that you are able to do with a bit of extra equipment (this guy I mentioned was great in a kayak.) Plus the usual other compatibilities, like having the same outlook in life, similar tastes, etc. So yes, your odds may be slightly lower than for the rest of the guys, but I don't think there is no hope...after all, they are millions of people in the world, and you only need one.

I noticed that you don't mention the wheelchair in your profile, and it is not really obvious in the pics. Maybe you should mention it, but just in passing, and then you could specify the things you can do. Do you drive? Do you have a job? Do you play sports? Do you have any pictures taken doing something active, or on holidays? That would give girls a better idea of what they can expect hanging out with you. Also -and I know this is rather delicate, but I am sure all prospective partners wonder but are too shy to ask- can they expect a full sexual life with you? Have children? Maybe you can find a diplomatic way to put it, as a preemptive strike.

Best of luck!
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 13
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/14/2012 4:03:38 PM
^^^ You should get into murderball, it looks like a lot of gun and I'm pretty sure you will get plenty o groupies.
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 14
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Disabled Dating?
Posted: 4/15/2012 6:19:06 AM
@onefortwoinPR ...I noticed that you don't mention the wheelchair in your profile, and it is not really obvious in the pics. Maybe you should mention it, but just in passing, and then you could specify the things you can do...

I dont state in my profile that I have disabilities either. Should I mention that I cannot hang washing, adequately fill a set of gloves or count to ten on my fingers?

"Maybe you can find a diplomatic way to put it, as a preemptive strike." I'm kind of offended by that statement..being defined and percievd as 'disabled', before you are recognised as human is indignifying. ie; the autistic kid...sounds different when you say 'the child with autism'...just saying ;-)

But hell, when is the last time that you heard of a person dying from offense?
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 15
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:05:20 PM
i lost my right eye a year ago and yes some people wont date me because of it but then there are people who will..from reading your profile i think u should mention be ashamed of who you are your chair is part of the whole package,your so cve and you will find a gal i garentee you but kdp going if one gal rejects ya move on to the mext and the next you will get her
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 16
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 1/31/2013 12:35:16 AM
Hi mate I just read your post and thought I would leave a little feed back from my experience's.
I'm almost 39 and am confined to a wheelchair due to a accident that happened when I was 13 which left me a quadriplegic, there are many levels of quadriplegia, many quads actually have some kind of arm movement.
I'm a C4 Quad, which means, im a high quad (Not high on weed) lol however I have no arm/hand movement at all and obviously no leg movement at all. Feeling wise, I cannot feel below my nipples. In a nut shell im fully dependant on others, from feeding, showering me, to putting my butt to bed.

However I have had quite a few long term relationships all with able woman. I have only experienced or ever felt in love once, It's something you'll know once you feel it.
After my last relationship in 2005, I realised I was entering relationships out of convenience more then anything and I should have ended the relationships sooner then I did apart from one relationship. I also realised I wasn’t ready for a relationship.
Now that I have been through all that, It doesn't bother me whether I do or don't end up in a relationship again, its something I wont chase like I did in the past. Over the last year or so I have started to feel as though I would give dating a go again because I now know im ready if the right woman comes along, anyway I made a profile on a dating site not too long ago, the different things I won't do now, is send other woman a message or a wink/kiss, I'm happy to advertise that I am single and ready to give dating another go but this time im waiting for them to reach out, I had a few interests but I felt no chemistry at all, I'm the type of person that must feel some kind of chemistry whether it's her eyes, hair, dimples whatever the case may be, there must be some initial chemistry before I would consider taking anything further. I strongly believe if it's meant to happen it will.

When someone has a physical disability and is dependant on others, I strongly believe that the best relationships eventuate with either a nurse or one of your carers, the reason I say this is because they know exactly what there getting into but that's just my personal opinion.
I had a relationship with one of my carers and that would have been the only time I honestly felt that strong connection to the point I was in love, it was just divine. No words can describe what it feels like to be IN LOVE.

All my other relationships have been via dating sites, one of which I should have given more time, I must admit that I was in the wrong by ending it, she really loved me and I could have possibly fallen head over heels over her had I given it more time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. The other relationships were a waist of time.

As long as your totally honest from the get go, it happens quite often believe it or not, admittedly sure let’s not kid ourselves it's going to be a hell of allot harder to find that special person due to having a disability well especially in my case as I’m dependant on others.
Then again the more people you speak to who are able and in relationships id have to estimate 70% of them are not happy in there relationship for some reason or other, so go figure.
The one thing I do know, is that the word HONESTY & LOVE doesn't have the strong meaning behind it like it once did. The phrase "Actions speak louder then words" is so true. If you or any of us are to find Miss/Mister right it will happen when when you least expect it I can assure you.

Good luck mate
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 17
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Disabled Dating?
Posted: 1/31/2013 10:26:03 AM
OP, you know what women think about dating disabled know better than the people you are asking, so why ask? If a bunch of women came on here and all said (for fear of appearing insensitive and shallow) "I'd date someone in a wheelchair, it's what's on the inside that counts" - does that help you in the real world? Does it change anything for you?
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 18
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 1/31/2013 3:02:29 PM
I think you already have the right attitude, don't ever say never, but you see repeatly in these forum pages that men can't get dates because they think they are too nice, too inexperienced, or that the women are just to shallow, so considering everyone elses odds you don't have much to lose. I would want to date a woman in a wheelchair if she could do for herself, was really attractive, and wasn't sexually disfunctional, and I know there are women in this world that have a big heart and want to be needed by someone. There is no set rules on whether you have a chance, no one can answer that. Only god knows that, but if it were me I would do a search on other women stuck in wheelchairs because they can relate to your experience and are probably as frustrated with the dating world as everyone else is. I would date blind women, deaf women, women with one arm, women with one leg, etc. but they have to be very attractive or I will put them in the same category as I already put most women on here. That is my only preference, if they are not really attractive, I'm not really interested.
Joined: 9/28/2010
Msg: 19
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Disabled Dating?
Posted: 1/31/2013 4:43:02 PM
Hey OP,
I am disabled. Paralyzed at 17, learned to walk with braces (2 yrs.). Lost a leg at 39, learned to walk again.
I haven't found any overwhelming barriers to dating. The key for me seems to be allowing the women I date to be impressed with my resilience, while also acting like it's no big deal.
If you focus on what is before you (the lady) and not what's underneath you (the chair {In my case, fake leg}), dating can be a lot of fun.
BTW, when a woman finds out about all that pent up energy you have, just waiting to be released, giving her pleasure, most women will forget about the chair altogether. You don't need a chair in bed.
Just make sure your oral skills are up to par.
Good luck.
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 20
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 1/31/2013 10:36:04 PM
I can certainly understand you, quickwheel. I'm diabled with epilepsy, and I know that's the reason why I don't get any replies to my messages (just for the record: I'm not trying to receive empathy from anyone, since I'm actually a very optimistic person; I'm just stating a fact). The only thing is that I don't believe it's the fact that I have seizures; I believe it's because the seizures prevent me from driving and working (receive social security), along with living with my mother. That's already three strikes: I'm out! Hehe.
Joined: 7/12/2010
Msg: 21
Disabled Dating?
Posted: 2/1/2013 12:59:01 PM
I also am disabled, but don't let this get in the way. Trust me op, if somebody judges you because of your disability, are they really worth your time and effort? I don't think so.
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