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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Papinoir
Joined: 7/17/2010
Msg: 12
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Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in youPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Callousness, Cowardice and those without class are not gender specific.

Men certainly don't have a monopoly on bad form when it comes to expressing they're not interested (i.e. disappearing without any sort of communication instead of being forthright), as several women I have met on here have demonstrated to me.

I find it more amusing than anything else, and when it has occurred, I count myself thankful that I avoided someone lacking decorum and respect for others.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 14
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Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 4/14/2012 5:26:47 PM
To cut off communication is usually how it goes online but some people will
make contact again wanting to know WHY WHY WHY you do not favor them.

that is when a generic list comes in because you just can;t be honest to someone who
can't accept rejection !
a kind "excuse" is a better way to go.

" I met someone I like better"
" my job is having me move, to Austraila, leaving monday"
" my father had a stroke and I will be moving away, so sorry, not interested"

lol
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 15
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 4/14/2012 5:54:38 PM
The why's matter little. People that tend to over think are typically the ones afraid to keep putting themselves out there again to be rejected. Take a break, regroup & or set your sites elsewhere for dating purposes. Once negativity sets in it's hard to undo.
 bleuize18
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 18
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Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:10:09 PM
i told a very nice man, a gentleman, i thought at the time, that we were not a connection. He was an orthodox jew, and I am not. so many differences. I told him I would even write him a testimonial on POF, and say that he is a wonderful man, a good catch for the right person. The next day he started writing me under different names very nasty emails. He googled something under a relatives name and everyday he sends me something having to do with this under a different screen name. He even took one of my email letters, erased it, and wrote a different body of a letter , and sent it to me. His company writes programs for computers, so I guess he knows how to do alll of these changes. There isnt a day that goes by that he doesnt send me a different screen name with a certain subject attached to it, except on sats. , his day of sabbath. I have reported him many times to aol and now will report him to POF too. He is from Brooklyn, wont give his screen name. He is in his 50's, modern orthodox, works with computers. Dont' know how he could be so religious, and be so nasty to someone. G-d will know and karma will come back to him. Freakin' leave me alone!!! dating is tough, and you have to harden , because there is a lot of rejection!!! get use to it!!!
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 19
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 4/14/2012 8:32:26 PM

Those are all generic excuses that chicks give to guys. When a guy doesn't like a chick, he just simply ignores her.

I find it very strange that a lot of dudes complain about why can't a chick just be honest with them when they're usually the culprits who don't say a word when the shoe's on the other foot.


I have experienced the opposite. I actually am busy with work and school, and I tell them that. However, if I really felt a connection, yes, I could make time. Women, on the other hand, don't tend to write back.
 Nina917
Joined: 6/6/2011
Msg: 20
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/27/2012 1:17:51 PM
thanks, this is very useful! much appreciated!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 21
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/27/2012 1:35:40 PM
I haven't had one single person in my whole lifetime question what I meant when I've told them to phuck off. Not one.
 monty336
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 23
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Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:12:45 PM
what i do after messaging someone is to check viewed me if they have and not replied, ans is simple no answer is the answer.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 26
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:40:25 PM

What I'm getting at is what the hell is wrong with politely rejecting someone?


Because MOST people nowadays do NOT know how to handle any form of confrontation,denial,rejection etc. Tell someone that there is no connection or whatever and a lot of the times you'll get the 5o questions afterwards as if the questions themselves are gonna change my opinion. And because I'm only dealing with the women, all I can say is that a lot of them have never been told "no" before or if they have, they don't really know what it means. The world is turning into a bunch of pansies,whiners and bleeding hearts. I no likey,,,,at all.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 32
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/27/2012 10:05:22 PM
^^^ Agreed. And if a guy’s not any of those things ('nice, funny, smart and courteous') he’s not gonna have a happy life, whether women like him or not.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 34
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/28/2012 2:33:20 AM

1. "I have to work for the next 2 weeks" -same as one bellow
2. "I am really busy with school" - If they like you, they will find time for you so don't waste your time!
3. Ignoring texts/calls
4. "I had a good time,but I felt no chemistry" -you are boring or too ugly/fat
5. "I don't know when I"ll be free,I'll let you know" - Probably dating other men and will choose later
6. "I found someone else who I like more"
7. "I felt like we don't have that much in common"
8. "You are very sweet,but not what I am looking for"


I dont go by ways, dating rules or anything else.

people should either tell the other person to their face how they feel, or at least call them. Texting, email, lying, ignoring them, are all a classless cowards way out.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 37
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:47:00 AM

Those are all generic excuses that chicks give to guys. When a guy doesn't like a chick, he just simply ignores her.

I find it very strange that a lot of dudes complain about why can't a chick just be honest with them when they're usually the culprits who don't say a word when the shoe's on the other foot.


This is not a gender specific issue. Women are just as likely to do the "disappearing act" as men are.
 treemanbdj
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 38
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:47:21 AM
Because MOST people nowadays do NOT know how to handle any form of confrontation,denial,rejection etc. Tell someone that there is no connection or whatever and a lot of the times you'll get the 5o questions afterwards as if the questions themselves are gonna change my opinion. And because I'm only dealing with the women, all I can say is that a lot of them have never been told "no" before or if they have, they don't really know what it means. The world is turning into a bunch of pansies,whiners and bleeding hearts. I no likey,,,,at all.


Thanks for showing me that angle.. I just thought it was because the internets anonymity brings out people being an arse..



Honesty is all good until they reply asking you to explain further or try to argue that you are wrong.

I guess at that point, after you have been honest, ignore?


Agreed,
I give almost every email a reply...even the hate emails :roll:
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 41
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Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/28/2012 11:36:14 AM
seems to me it all depends on at which point you're saying you're not interested - before or after meeting in person?

if after, well, i've definitely used this one because it really is the truth (without your translation, op) -

4. "I had a good time,but I felt no chemistry" - you are boring or too ugly/fat

meaning i had a good time, but didn't feel an attraction in person....meaning, for whatever reason, just didn't feel any chemistry....

so, how else would you put it, op, that could be any more honest?
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 43
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:42:15 PM
it alwasy blows me away that people just can't be honest and upfront.....it prevents alot of BS!

Just say the truth...

I wish you the best, Im just not interested ....God Bless...(pretty simple and honest)


Not all are naively simple & honest after being rejected. Any response is just an invitation for nasty rudeness. The message is loud & clear when there is none.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 44
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:49:24 PM
Well, a vast amount of profiles pretty much have the same rhetoric in it anyways. Very standard comments that I'm used to seeing in MOST profiles. Nothing BAD or negative. Just saying they're looking for a decent guy with a sense of humor, don't sweat the small stuff, looking for someone who is honest, has integrity, etc.


Exxxxacory,

Originality, of any kind, in a profile is very hard to find.

That's part of the reason I didnt change mine, when instructed by the know it alls in profile review to get more generic.

I clicked on the first four guys who came up in my area, when instructed to change, and found out they were almost EXACTLY the same.


Basically, MOST PROFILES tend to exhibit what MOST people want in a mate in a rather generalized way


Because its what they think they're "supposed" to say.

They wouldnt know it if it brought them flowers and wine nightly; top listen to their every hurt and desire.
 IloveLifecereal
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 46
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/29/2012 7:53:24 AM
Say thanks but I'm not interested and then hit the block button. Very simple
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 47
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/29/2012 8:13:32 AM

Either way, ignoring someone is rude,


Well, how will you ever survive?

Ignoring unwanted attention is what happens every single moment of every single day...even you do it. You gonna tell me when that bbw who smells of BO, has a greasy face and obvious bed head is trying to make eye contact with you, that you dont ignore her? Oh, you must be that 1 saint who would encourage her eye contact and even ask her to join you for dinner, even though you are not interested? Please, give me a break.

No reply is the best way to deal online. I used to state right in my profile that if I didnt respod, it was because I didnt see us as a match. If that is not good enough for complete strangers (that I did not want to hear from anyways) from the internet, then that is on them.
 IloveLifecereal
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 49
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/30/2012 4:28:48 AM
What is wrong with politeness and basic decency?

There is nothing wrong with it but like I keep telling everyone to the women on here we arent real people we are nameless faceless people who are just words and text on a screen. Once we turn the computer off at night that "person" fails to exist
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 52
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Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/30/2012 3:41:16 PM
OP - (9) She tells you her plans the next two weeks in details (like she really filled up her calender) UM-YEAH!
 UnreadDeleted
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 53
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:27:26 PM
Funny this is here...just had someone call me out on my excuse last night.

I reply to every message I receive, even if I reply "No thanks". Replied to one last night, saying thanks, but she was too far for me to get involved in a relationship. She replied with miles, distance and time from my city to hers....then said a few not-as-nice comments.

Guess I should have ignored that one...
 ohhgimmeabreak
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 56
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/30/2012 6:12:20 PM
Totally agree. A no-response is a response. Why bother with explanations when there isn't a good one.
 UnreadDeleted
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 57
Many ways to say Thanks,but I am not interested in you
Posted: 5/30/2012 6:26:04 PM

but this time I messaged him back telling him that it is online dating 'courtesy' to simply not reply or just say 'not interested', without reasons.,


Wow. So "courtesy" is ignoring someone who took the time to write?

No wonder I'm not doing well here. I've been an non-courteous **stard this whole time trying to be polite
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