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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How would you retaliate when cheated on?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 1
How would you retaliate when cheated on?Page 1 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
long story short. i started officially dating my best friend for 6 years back in january, but she chose to cheat on me with a married man who's been absent from her life for several years. and she was also planning on doing it again. of course i was pissed, hurt, sad, etc etc. she still wanted to be friends with me somehow. anyways, i apparently am "dead" to her now because i sent an email to the douche bag's wife that she cheated on me with. just wanted to get some feedback as to what other's would have done. i am much more "clear minded" now than when i found out. honestly, the wife of that douche needed to know, but i also let her know out of spite, to "ruin" things for my ex and this man. sound off people!!
 _sighnomore_
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 2
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 8:39:26 PM
I think you did the right thing, Kudos.

The best revenge is success and move on and ignore.

Whats that saying. Apathy and neglect can often do much more damage than outright dislike....or something like that.

Best of luck in the future
 dp300
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 3
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 8:47:29 PM
I don't think you needed to tell the wife for any reason other than spite. Personally I would have just cut all ties with your ex, and moved on. You're never going to get even with her, so whats the point of ratting her out?
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 4
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 9:00:12 PM
everything has "a point"... i ratted her out because it needed to be done. the question here was though... how would YOU have retaliated if you were in my shoes. people can go on and live their life in selfish ways without regarding the damage / hurt they would cause others, but then think they shouldn't have to pay the consequences of their actions. to me, they both (married douche, and ex-GF) got off WAY to lightly. i could've posted their private facebook messages on both their walls for all to see, i could have gone up to that man's house and kicked his a$$ (i know what he looks like, where he works, where he lives, i have his phone number....). i could have done alot of damage, but i chose not to. i of course had to listen to reason (close friends/family) and not do something stupid. and i didn't. i seriously hope you don't go through what i went through dp300
 ~chill-pill~
Joined: 10/31/2009
Msg: 5
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 9:04:14 PM
The best revenge is DEFINITELY NOT to just move on. Its this kind of logic why there's people out there that think its ok to screw people over and over and over: because no one stops or lets them know loud and clear that what they've done is wrong. I hope I'm not the only that thinks its a bit funny how you can get charged and have a criminal record for stealing something at a store but someone can go and cheat on their partner and get off scott free.

So ya definitely GET EVEN. A lot of people that have screwed me over at various times my life definitely think twice before doing it to someone else again.

As an excellent example, and this is a story I LOVE; a co-worker was ripped off a couple hundred dollars by some mechanic working out of his home. The guy claimed he couldn't get the parts and bounced the guy around for a couple of months and wouldn't give my co-worker back his money. So my co-worker showed up with a chainsaw and cut down the beautiful tree this douchebag had in his front yard. Too funny :)
 7thour
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 6
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 9:16:01 PM
I saw this picture with a little man sitting on a domino that had fallen, four more followed, and then the rest stood up and around, circling back to the last one standing upright next to him.

Karma will always come back around. You don't have be the one doling out the revenge...the universe will take care of it.

Move on and find someone who is faithful. We are out there...many of us, waiting to find you.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 7
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 10:21:43 PM
Best to end it quickly and move on to a happier life without holding onto resentment or anger. Some would even advocate forgiving her to facilitate your transition.
 tjl503
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 8
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 10:54:15 PM
It depends how deceitful of a person you are. Over the years I've been screwed over by ex's but the only time I have ever schemed to get someone back was directed at another man who I had beef with. Over the years I have learned to let things go that I would have probably jumped on before. My last ex told me she was pregnant and needed 600 cash for an abortion, she was never pregnant and needed money for pills. I wish her the best of luck because you have to be a pretty pitiful person to do things like that. Ruining another mans marriage because he was taxing your ladies booty is something that might have felt good at the time but what is it doing for you now? It just shows that you stooped down to their level.
 coyotefeller
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 9
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/23/2012 11:51:59 PM
nitemonger
Whatever that name means it
doesn't sound too good to me !
No doubt you are hurt and lashing out,
and think no one has ever suffered the
way you are now.
I could point out this relationship, if it ever
was that much, was doomed from the start,
what with the 6 years of her leading you on
like a dog on a leash and all....
But you were lucky some angel like creature
like 7thour posted what she did here!
That is probably the nicest thing anybody's
said to you in a week !
If I were you I'd copy that last sentence she wrote
on a piece of paper and carry it in my left shirt pocket!

Peace man!
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 10
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 12:21:34 AM
I do nothing; the best revenge is to be happy and successful.

All of the nasty things you can do to her will only make you ugly inside.

The best revenge is to be happy and succeed.
 acsmith72
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 11
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 12:22:28 AM
You NEVER retaliate when cheated on. How does getting revenge improve the situation? Either you discuss it and find out why it happened and how you can work it out, or you break up. In your specific case you hurt someone who never did anything to you. YOU decided she needed to know without thinking about how much that information hurt her. Quite honestly, you're much worse than the two of them. Your actions were to intentionally hurt other people.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 12
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 4:06:03 AM
No need for retaliation - just show them the door and close it firmly behind them. Done.
 Nerfmagnet1
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 13
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 4:31:07 AM
I applaud you sir. The wife had the right to know her husband was unfaithful. What her husband and your ex was doing is wrong and they need to understand that.

Now the best thing you can do is chalk up the score board and beat feet on down this road of life.
 hmongchick
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 14
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:26:46 AM
yes you did the right thing.. i know how you feel..i just kicked my ex out cuz found out he's been cheating on me..is the worse feeling in the world.. good people like us don't deserve to be treat like that..
 Palejewel
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 15
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 7:21:04 AM

honestly, the wife of that douche needed to know


I totally disagree with what you did.
There was NO NEED to notify his wife.
She has her own issues to worry about, and I am sure was well aware of what was going on.

Because of your pain, you lashed out and hurt someone else.
Yes karma will bite you in the ass.

You should have just closed the door and walked away with your dignity.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 7:33:52 AM
You did what you did and cannot undo it now.
I would have just dumped the GF and told her to her face exactly I was doing it. Then move on, no need to get your hands dirty or involve anyone else.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 17
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 7:48:28 AM
Retaliation is immature and, by design, is only meant to be hurtful and to make you feel better through a selfish action IMO.

I chose to simply move on and be happy.
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 18
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:28:46 AM
Why would there be any need to "retaliate" if cheated on? She didn't cheat on you as a personal attack towards you. She did it because she is a coward and a loser and you being cheated on was just an arbitrary symptom of that.

Furthermore, you did the wrong thing, sending an email to the wife like that, because you did it out of spite and not out of a sincere desire to inform and help the wife. Especially if your email was delivered in a harsh and insensitive manner, can you imagine the devastation being told this information in such a way would cause her? These types of things you need to sit down with the person and calmly tell them in a way that will lessen the trauma. But what's done is done. I just hope you are not communicating with your ex or trying to "retaliate" anymore. You only make yourself look like a psycho if you do. In these situations it's best t just walk away with your chin held high and your dignity still intact.
 katty1981
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 19
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:01:27 AM
I smashed every window in his house and his cars

it felt gooooood!
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 20
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:31:18 AM
I am with you jmark4 (see message 10)

I didn't have to do anything......My ex left me for someone else, who in turn, left him.....in less than 2 years.....and in the 7 years I've been free of him, he has asked me back 4 times........I just laugh.......

Just remember what comes around goes around and what goes around comes around and paybacks are a total B*tch! - and I DO remind him of this fact............

OP. Just go live your life and live well and the very best you can......in time, like my own ex, she will get hers......
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 21
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 10:41:27 AM
well thanks everyone for your input. yes, i did email the wife out of spite.... but also asked my close friends and relatives what i should've done (before i emailed her). and they agreed for me to email the wife, simply because.... if they were being cheated on, they'd like to know. but the email i sent to the wife was sincere, i apologized before hand in the beginning of it... because who wants to know that their spouse is cheating on them, and get the news from some random dude off of facebook?? the fact is, there were redflags/signs that my ex was going to cheat on me anyway.... i should have seen it coming in hindsight. but you know... you want to believe that the shit wouldn't happen to you. what iritates me to know end is that i gave my ex opportunity to "come clean" about the man she cheated on me with....i tried to get her to admit to it, and she just lied through her teeth. denying ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that could possibly have happened between them. then i called her out, finally, with actual proof.... her reaction was more like "how dare you catch me in a lie!!" she was cold. it's going to be a while before my anger goes away. but i know it will. i'm actually bettering myself now, physically, and mentally. hey, at least i didn't go out and do something INCREDIBLY stupid....
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 22
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 12:00:00 PM
I warn any man I date, that if I find out he is using me to cheat on someone else, that I will spill the beans. If he is stupid enough to keep at it with this information in hand, he deserves to have his significant other advised of his piggery. The main reason people do this is because no one will get thier hands dirty and rat them out. Not on my watch.

Thats as far as Id go though (telling the wife). I do believe that the best revenge is to live well. I live very well and it pisses some people right off. Life is good.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 23
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 12:43:44 PM
yeah, it has definitely opened my eyes wide a bit. i know now, the "warning signs" of what to look for when i meet a woman.... they are obvious you know. but i used to take the high road in the past, whenever someone screwed me over. over the years, i have found, unfortunately, that some people just can't be relied on, and they will continue with their selfish ways, they like to use you. so now, i make it a point also, to warn any romantic interest that if they screw me over (i.e. cheat) i won't take the high road. i'm not jesus, i will not "turn the other cheek." honestly, the married dude was LOOKING to cheat on his wife, and somehow, my ex was in love with him for all these years. he just recently re-entered her life this past december. he's lucky he lives almost 2 hours away by car..... yeah, me and the ex broke up weekend before this past valentine's day. so the wound is still "fresh" i suppose. but it is hard to just "let go" as some people have stated. although it is good advice. sometimes we have to "let go" but i must tell you...it is extremely hard. especially since she was my best friend before making it official, and it feels like a "rip off" of time.....
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 24
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 1:17:21 PM

me and the ex broke up weekend before this past valentine's day


You 'started' dating in January and you broke up the week before Valentines Day? You missed all the warning signs? Like what? That she was not aware she was your exclusive GF?
You decided the best course of action was to possibly break up a marriage over your three week relationship?
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 25
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 4:11:04 PM
at carolann0308, she was my best friend for 6 years. there was always a connection/chemistry between us. reason i took long to be with her was because she didn't want to have anymore kids. (she has 2), it was a MAJOR decision for me to be with a woman that wouldn't want to have a kid of my own. so yeah, we fooled around, "acted" like boyfriend/girlfriend when we were "just friends", and when she had past boyfriends, and those relationships tanked/failed, i was her confidante. i was there to pick up the pieces. it goes FAR DEEPER than just a "three week relationship". during her last relationship with an ex-boyfriend, she flat out told me "you should be my boyfriend". all these years, there all these obvious hints at wanting to be with me. so i finally stepped up to plate, and be there for her and her kids, and she slaps me in the face with some married ***hole that was ABSENT all these years. so it makes the betrayal even more hurtful. to cast me aside, someone that has been there for her for 6 years, for some one that's never been there.
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