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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?      Home login  
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 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 2
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

There seems to be a lot of fishing going on, but more of the catch and release variety.

Meaning men seem to be very aggressive about getting that first meet set up.

Maybe the first date.

But then nothing, disappear.

After the ago of 40 a man's sex drive starts to decline, while a woman's sex drive is really at it's peak.

So if we men do have to get down to business in bed, that is when we are expected to perform. Perhaps a lot of men would rather play the game but not put their manhood to a real test. Take it far enough to know they could have scored, but not have to have any performance anxiety.

Could this explain what is going on with a lot of no shows and disappearing acts by men?


It means one of the two wasnt 'feeling' it.

To say the reason for 'all of the disapearances' is because men over 40 cannot really get it up, is a tad insulting to men.

If the two involved are keen on seeing the other, no one disappears.

You cannot base reality on what you see in the forums. Hardly anyone ever starts a thread to broadcast 'good news'...and only a small percentage of pof users even know the forums exist. That would be like basing how the entire population likes/dislikes cars, on a forum about cars. The forum would be full of issues being reported and someone COULD deduce that the population as a whole, doesnt like cars. That is just not so.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 3
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 7:10:52 AM
After the ago of 40 a man's sex drive starts to decline, while a woman's sex drive is really at it's peak.


This is a myth.

The only factual evidence is that men's hormone levels tend to peak between the ages of 17 and 22, whereas for women it is between 30 and 35. What this data does not tell you is how the relative peaks affect the individual's sex drive, or the rate at which they decline. Also, the variation from individual to individual is very large.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 5
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 7:20:39 AM
I don't know where you get your information, but I doubt it supports the conclusions you are drawing.

There are male couch potatoes, but there are also female couch potatoes. There is no empirical evidence that I've seen to support the theory that one gender is more prone to being sedentary than the other.

The fact that hormone levels reach their peak at different ages between the genders says nothing about the height of those peaks. For example, the highest peak in California is significantly higher than the highest peak in Florida. When a hiker is 75% of the way down from the highest peak in CA, he is still at a much higher altitude than the hiker in FL still standing on the highest peak.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 9
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 8:00:43 AM
If it were all to do with could's, then guys would stick around long enough to get our rocks off, regardless if she's satisfied with his performance or not & then disappear.

Not a very realistic theory, especially coming from a man, unless of coarse he speaks from personal experience.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 11
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 8:06:54 AM
I see no proof of this, given the amount of women who complain men are only after sex. In fact, by your logic, women would be initiating more dates in that age range and, again, I've seen no proof of this.

I have to agree with Kayla, the reasoning does not hold up.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 14
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 9:12:53 AM

People did ask what was the question based on, personal experience or statistical data. A little of both.


Extrapolating the personal experience of an individual to 50 million men is about as statistically unsound as it gets. The scant data cited thus far has absolutely no connection to the hypothesis.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 15
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 9:52:21 AM
Yes, just with the right woman.

Well, us older guys might just as well ALL come on here and billboard like the OP..
Except some of us DON'T need any chemical enhancement injections, pills or any kind, just good old-fashioned regular cardio-vascular exercise, healthy diet and vitamins...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:11:14 PM
Like many women who use sex to get someone, many men act like they want and can perform sex on a daily basis even multiple times. Often it's just the bait. Some men do want sex, a lot, some men do at first, many men taper off...just like many women.

What to look for is not so much how often but how good is the sex. Multiple times a day at 1 min. intervals is not what most people are looking for...but then again, some are.

I'm sure a lot of men (and women) disappear because they can't live up to their bragging.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 17
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:18:31 PM

There seems to be a lot of fishing going on, but more of the catch and release variety.

Meaning men seem to be very aggressive about getting that first meet set up.

Maybe the first date.

But then nothing, disappear.

My take is...many men have been emotionally drained by previous relationships & ONLY want a new relationship & all the work that it entails if "she is hot"...


After the ago of 40 a man's sex drive starts to decline, while a woman's sex drive is really at it's peak.
Word has it there are plenty of horndogs in their 40's & 50's that can out perform a 20 something year old. Can't reveal my source though ;0P


So if we men do have to get down to business in bed, that is when we are expected to perform. Perhaps a lot of men would rather play the game but not put their manhood to a real test. Take it far enough to know they could have scored, but not have to have any performance anxiety.

Could this explain what is going on with a lot of no shows and disappearing acts by men?
There are plenty of men & women who enjoy sex as an extension of their emotions towards eachother, not as a Ron Jeremy(hurl) /Jenna Jameson encounter! Don't perpetuate the myth of all this humpin' & bumpin'...the average couple is more about companionship. Perhaps if men focussed more on the entire package in a woman, rather than "hot", they could have a mature, satisfying relationship.
Quite a few years ago when I was on a dating streak in pay sites, if the date went well & the guy was "nice" I naively would invite them in for coffee. They all accepted, & when I'd walk into the kitchen & get the coffee pot, they looked shocked. I was so dumb, I had no idea what they were REALLY thinking. So, I'd make coffee & we'd talk...many of the men would get emotional about their ex-wife or late wife & CRIED. Usually, they'd end up petting my cats, or looking @ my old HS yearbook, etc. Everytime, I got this response: when you 1st invited me in, I thought it was for sex. But this was BETTER than sex. I needed to talk to someone & now I feel better. You made me feel at home. Thank you...the majority of them went out w/ someone else for sex after that & got into a relationship & would email me to tell me & thank me. I was like a free freaking therapist! After 3 years of this, I was like wait- I WANT A RELATIONSHIP FOR ME, not to help the guy for the next chick...
So some men think the other half is having all this hot nasty sex, not really. granted there are plenty who are capable, but I think those are the ones who go thru many partners in a short time, while everyone else plays it slow & steady.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 19
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:27:07 PM
Well OP, I still cannot figure out where your hypothesis came from, but all I can tell you is that I only date older men, always have. Ive only had 1 man do the 'no show-dissappearing' act in all the years Ive been using online dating and Ive never dated a man who couldnt get it up. In fact, they were/are like horny teenagers who could not get enough. (thankfully!!)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 20
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 12:39:37 PM

Could this explain what is going on with a lot of no shows and disappearing acts by men?

This:

Ive only had 1 man do the 'no show-dissappearing' act in all the years Ive been using online dating and Ive never dated a man who couldnt get it up. In fact, they were/are like horny teenagers who could not get enough. (thankfully!!)

I date men who are over 40 but under 50. In the past 8 years (since I started dating men 40+) I've known only one man who needed little blue pills and he and I weren't intimate, so I don't know how serious of an issue he truly did have. I've never had a poofer post-sex. I've had plenty of one-n-dones. But no no-shows. JMO
 WD1094
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 21
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Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:12:16 PM
Seems the people on here begging for logic have none of their own. They misinterpret everything said and answer questions never asked or reiterate points never mentioned. Like when the OP say "a lot of men" and it's interpreted as "all men" .. that stuff is just stupid.

BUT back to the OP.. I really doubt men are not showing up because they are afraid they cannot perform. Firstly we rarely perform on the first date, so why would anyone fear that. In fact the first few dates are usually pretty tame if you are sincerely interested. Although date number 3 usually makes things happen that we didn't plan on if the chemistry is there. I'm happy to say I don't have ED.. maybe men who have that know they cannot perform on a given day and that embarrasses them. Having this discussion once with a group of people a girl said.." it's ok if a guy has a performance issue but not on the first try, it's a real turn off if he cannot do it the first time"... That was her opinion anyway

To keep yourself in the game.. eat honey , niacin, raw turnip and turmeric daily. and just before hopping into bed.. eat something sweet... it gets things going real good.

I think if people googled your theory on males sex drive dwindling and female drive increasing.. they would find that you are correct.

 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 22
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:27:09 PM
LOL, never thought of "performance anxiety" as a reason for no show or going AOWL.

But hey, having been on this earth long enough, I wouldn't put anything past certain people!

Your assumption regarding the sex drive and "staying power" though, please be careful with generalizing! Many men over 40 actually do not lack any in the stamina department! Some admittedly do, but in my experience that is in many cases a societal/cultural issue.

After living in Jamaica now since almost 20 years, I have to say that men here on a whole, are definitely mentally and physically "older" as of their mid 40's than their middle European or US American counterparts.

But as with everything, there are always exceptions to the rule.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 23
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 5:09:51 PM
I don't know. I just turned 51 the other week, and like always, if the wind is blowing the right way,I get into "that" mood. I don't even wanna tell what happens if it gets really blustery.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 5:31:39 PM

OP-I also am wondering at your logic. Not for the reasons that the others are, but considering that 95% of the guys that have contacted me on here (and other sites, as well) are only interested in sex

I made an observation long ago about those online who talk about sex early on. They don't want sex for real ~ they want cyber/phone/text sex. I don't know about other women, but I've never met a man in person that even broached the subject of sex on a first date (at least with me.) So my guess? If they portray that all they are after is sex in an email/phone call? They don't reaaaaaaaaaaaaally want sex. They want sex with their own self with you as a visual/audio aid. JMO
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 25
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 6:20:01 PM
OP is being forthright about a few things....and not so much about others.These threads always get their share of bs it seems.Nature intended for older men to get pushed aside in favor of younger......
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 26
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 6:28:15 PM
@ Teacher Boy: Unfortunately I can not email you directly, therefore, w/o going into any details (about affordability of fresh fish, fruits and Blue Mountain coffee and overindulgence in the affordable "blessings" like red stripe, appleton, ray&nephew overproof, ganja, West Indian starches, KFC and the reggae that has deteriorated into dancehall which is even referred to now as reggae) :
You sound like one of the many Jamaican expats romanticizing the harsh realities of "life in the tropics", spelling Jamaica.
 Horus_MCMLXX
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 27
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Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/1/2012 8:08:45 PM
I will be 42 this summer and I sure as hell WANT SEX "all that much" and than some!
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 30
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/2/2012 9:56:48 AM
I have YET to meet a man who isn't humping my leg 24 hours a day (ages 47 and above).

When I do find him, I'm gonna marry him. :-)
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 31
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:37:01 PM

Besides I don't think all those younger guys are lining up to push aside those older guys when it comes to keeping the company of older women.


To hear some of the women over forty brag here it does indeed sound like younger men are more than willing to fill in for the older guys.You look quite fit but many are not.They forget about sex and their women wander,or divorce ensues.In a new relationship,as of yet we don't really understand how our sex drive can go up....for a time.

In the OP's case I can see evidence that his body was indeed suffering from low test,rectifying that has resulted in an improvement in his outlook and physical well being.
 chrismako
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 32
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/2/2012 9:35:44 PM
First off, you are on a Sailboat which help's me respect what you have to say and second...dang I am thinking about what you said. Thank you for your incite.
Chris...
 oneofakind704
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 33
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/3/2012 1:40:12 PM
I'm 51 and i love sex and my drive is high!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 34
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Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/3/2012 3:03:10 PM
In my personal experiences.....(and I only date my age'ish and older).......
the amount of times per week isn't as high......but the actual sex time is longer.
And the sex is way better!

I have no desire to date a youngun.........give me a mature man that likes to take the long, winding road anyday!
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 35
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/3/2012 3:57:09 PM
men under 40 sure do.............
 splfree
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 36
Do men over 40 REALLY want sex all that much?
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:30:12 PM
I am 54 years old, if the person I am dating and I have a physical attration it is game on...

In my experience , it is the woman that is the one who wants to wait for several dates till they feel in the mood.

I am one of those, if we hit it off, whether it is the first date or the second, etc. if the attraction is there why wait till that magic number of dates, we are adults, we are sharing something between just the 2 of us, what is the big problem..
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