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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend      Home login  
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 matchnot
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 1
Definition of FWB,FB,Good FriendPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So the census here on the forums has "labeled" me a FWB. I have been dating a man for 15 months, met his kids, friends, a few co-workers, parties, bbques. But we only see each other once a week and that is every Saturday night. He will call or text the remainder of the week. He "slipped" once in a druken stupor and said he had "feelings" for me. Has never said anything else about how he feels about me. I work a full time job, sometimes 50 hrs a week and hit the gym 6 days a week.....everyone says I should have more face time; honestly I don't have much more time to give...and at 55 yrs old, who wants to do that anyway, I have a house and yard to maintain as well. The census seems to be one date a week, calls/texts remainder of the week=FWB, & not serious about me!
 cariboolady1
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 2
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:18:23 PM
Is it just for a "romp in the hay" when you get together with him that one day a week? Is it your rules that made it this way? Or is it on only his time/his rules? That has to be defined if it's to be called FWB or boooty call..or....
Is there something particular about him that makes you shy away from sharing your life with him? If a man really cares about you and you have feelings for him and have meshed with him your values, personalities, whims and faults...then what is wrong with working towards a relationship? After 15 months something should be going forward. Sit down and have a heart to heart. It can be very illuminating.
I find that sometimes people fill up their lives like you have to evade the real intimacy of a real relationship. If that is you, then maybe a FWB (souless encounters) works for you until you resolve your fear of intimacy.
Good luck! :)
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 3
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:20:27 PM
If you are both happy with the arrangement then you are happy with the arrangement.

You and he are the only ones whose opinions matter.
Tell the rest of the busybodies to mind their own business.

Go for it. Sounds fine to me if you are both happy.
Only getting together for the fun stuff and leaving the boring day to day routine out of the relationship.
Sounds perfect.
Enjoy.

p.s.
I do question why you are still on here if you are happy with what you have however?
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 4
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:20:52 PM
If you are happy why the heck do you care what anyone else thinks?
 Thornz2000
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 5
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:29:33 PM
Who "labeled" you in the forums?
I never did and if I did would have made it sound more fun then FWB. I would have labeled you as SSFFWUUB (Super Spectacular Fun Female With Ultra Uber Benefits). That is if labeled you and I did not. Also mine sound more fun by far.
So any ways, stop worrying about what people think about you that do not know you.
 marie2107
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 6
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/2/2012 10:56:44 PM
Oh I was really hoping this was going to clear up my misunderstanding about the definition of FWB, FB and good friends. But that's okay. I like your thread. If you are asking this question, then I am not sure that you are satisfied. Maybe it would change his mind if you moved on and found another person that is more than a FWB, if that is what you are interested in, I mean. Only you know if you need more or if he satisfies your needs.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 7
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/2/2012 11:19:32 PM

marie2107: Oh I was really hoping this was going to clear up my misunderstanding about the definition of FWB, FB and good friends.

IMO a FWB is someone who would still be a friend with or without the 'benefits'.
a FB is someone who you use only to scratch that itch.
and a Good Friend is just that without sexual relations. It's someone who you're closer to than just a 'friend'.
again this is just IMO.
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 8
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 2:58:09 AM
It's not even A "FWB" situation. It's a 1x a week hook up. Imagine that - that's what you've been reduced to...
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 9
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 4:13:57 AM

It's not even A "FWB" situation. It's a 1x a week hook up. Imagine that - that's what you've been reduced to...

Forums, can always depend on someone to post an absolutely brutal opinion. LOL

My thoughts, if both of you are only seeing each other and see this as a committed relationship then what is wrong with it. I would barely have more time than that in a regular week.
See from the ``Dosen't want to move in with anybody `thread that more people here feel the same way.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 10
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 4:28:09 AM
I would think after all your posts in the past that the last thing you should be worried about is how others will/are "labelling" your relationship with this fella. Really worried. Dats it,again.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 11
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 4:33:56 AM
So the census here on the forums has "labeled" me a FWB. I have been dating a man for 15 months , met his kids, friends, a few co-workers, parties, bbques. But we only see each other once a week and that is every Saturday night. He will call or text the remainder of the week. He "slipped" once in a druken stupor and said he had "feelings" for me. Has never said anything else about how he feels about me. I work a full time job, sometimes 50 hrs a week and hit the gym 6 days a week.....everyone says I should have more face time; honestly I don't have much more time to give...and at 55 yrs old, who wants to do that anyway, I have a house and yard to maintain as well. The census seems to be one date a week, calls/texts remainder of the week=FWB, & not serious about me!

#1-15 mos is long term!
#2-u met the kids co-workers etc. YOU are HIS GIRLFRIEND!
#3- YOU see eachother EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT.
#4- he stays in touch during the week
#5-he admitted to feeling when drunk. You know what- there's a saying: "I can show u better than I can tell you." He's shown you although you don't have alot of face time, you are a part of his life. Anyone can parrot "I LOVE YOU." but how many can walk the walk???
#6- YOU yourself have a very busy life, if he wanted MORE TIME, would u even be available???

DO NOT LISTEN TO FOLKS WHO PROB DO NOT EVEN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. YOU DO! BOTH OF U R BUSY, so what? IT IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN!


Doesn't really matter what anyone besides the two of you think. What matters is that the current situation works or doesn't work for both of you.

agreed!

If you are both happy with the arrangement then you are happy with the arrangement.

You and he are the only ones whose opinions matter.
Tell the rest of the busybodies to mind their own business.
nah...Tell the rest of the busybodies to mind their own F*CKING business. LOL

Go for it. Sounds fine to me if you are both happy.
Only getting together for the fun stuff and leaving the boring day to day routine out of the relationship.
Sounds perfect.
Enjoy.
agreed!
p.s.
I do question why you are still on here if you are happy with what you have however?



If you are happy why the heck do you care what anyone else thinks?
uber agreed!


My thoughts, if both of you are only seeing each other and see this as a committed relationship then what is wrong with it. I would barely have more time than that in a regular week.
agreed!
 RobHamilton
Joined: 10/27/2011
Msg: 12
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:18:10 AM
FWB= you are only friends but from time to time you have sex, it never gets any more complicated then that and you don't tell any one else.
FB= i have know idea what FB means lol
Good Friend= you never have sex they are just a good friend...
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 13
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:47:22 AM
Op,if you honestly feel that you're nothing more than a FWB to this guy,can you talk to him for some clarification....??
After 15 months with him (and you're posting this) he shouldn't balk at the Q.
*I* get the feeling that you'd like to feel more secure in the relationship and be regarded as his girlfriend but if you dont feel as though you are,then talk to him. He's the only one who's going to make you feel better about the status of your relationship.
We Forumites cant really help ya,
:sad face:
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:53:26 AM
I definitely agree with the majority opinion, if you're happy with the relationship, labels do not matter. Why are you asking us what we think?

And, the really important question -- why do you have a profile here on POF looking for dates if YOU think you are in a relationship?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 10:01:18 AM
If you two have no real plans to make it more in the future, no real talks about where you two want to be two, three, even five years from now, then you are in a convenient hook up situation.

I have those that I know and have met family, friends and colleagues, and I am not in a relationship with them at all. They are in town or there at that time, ride with me, do things with me and then move on to the rest of their life. I have others that have come and gone, enjoyed each other, maybe saw each other once a week or only weekends, and they either needed or wanted more, and not they are gone too.

Long distance, short distance, even next door, really does not matter if you have built your own life around yourself and only allow others in when you decide that it is ok to do so, when, where, how and how not, and that is what you two have done......a convenient hook up that works for you.....so, why worry about it, or try to put a name to it?

cd
 SONNI100
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 16
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 10:17:44 AM
Have to wonder why you care what any of us think?? You already know..
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 17
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 11:23:19 AM
I'm with Landra on this one!
It sounds to me that you are not happy with the situation you have with him... but try to" justify the why"of..... it is the way it is!!
Make sense??
The saying of...You receive the kind of "love" that you think you deserve!
Don't worry about what others think....be true to yourself first!! Are you happy and content???
 Sunshinelady555
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 18
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 11:37:19 AM
Many people Older and young like this type of relationship.
No ties...really just dating. lol
 DeborahC56
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/3/2012 2:35:46 PM
I agree with blondeangel.... If he wanted more time, would you be willing to compromise and give him more time? Maybe he does but knows you are too busy or he thinks you like things just the way they are and accepts it. Could you be giving him mixed signals? Do you even want more time with him? Your email is vague. My advise, sit down and ask him if he forsees more than what you have right now. I would never go 15 mos in a relationship having just one night a week to spend unless it was agreed too by both of you right from get.
 windowgarden
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 20
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/4/2012 7:14:55 AM
I got S**T 2! My mistake was asking for advice and getting it, then confronting my boyfriend with it and he nearly broke up with me because he was so offended..Like the others say, It's our business and if It works all the better. I don't think you are a FWB however, it's been to long. You ARE in a relationship. A FWB things is just sex.
There was someone on the forum that defined a FWB as just a booty call at like 10 or 3 in the morning..Something like that.
You have met friends and family and all that (like me)...If you were just a piece of you know what he wouldn't of
bothered.
We are all busy..I don't know your age but i find the older we are the more busier we are...getting the emails and the texts is communication, and making an effort to do that is honorable.
And to the one who asked why is the OP on here if she has a boyfriend? The forums are fun and a way to get advice (not necessarily good advice).
I love the ones who say if you don't see him a lot..he must be married...Oh, to be sooo un-trusting is sad!
Good luck!!!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 21
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/4/2012 7:49:26 AM

Many people Older and young like this type of relationship.
No ties...really just dating. lol


Yes lots of people do want this kind of relationship.. So it is fine for those that do.. Why fix something if it is not a problem..
 smilininsc
Joined: 4/29/2012
Msg: 22
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/4/2012 10:07:42 AM
Just curious, why are you still on POF if you are in a exclusive relationship and why care what others think?
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 23
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/4/2012 12:47:12 PM

windowgarden:I don't think you are a FWB however, it's been to long. You ARE in a relationship. A FWB things is just sex.
There was someone on the forum that defined a FWB as just a booty call at like 10 or 3 in the morning..Something like that.


A FWB thing is not just sex. You can't be a FRIEND with Benefits without being friends too. Then maybe you're the type of person who doesn't differentiate between mere acquaintances and friends. In the new FaceBook world just because I friend you doesn't make you truly an friend. A true FwB is someone I would be a friend with whether we are have sex or not. A FB (f*ck buddy) or Booty Call, isn't a friend but merely an Acquaintance whom I'm having sex with.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 24
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/5/2012 6:05:37 PM
OP
If you called him to bail you out of jail and he hung up on you..."FB".

If he comes and bails you out-it's AT LEAST "FwB".

If hes' sitting in the cell next to you saying "Damn! That was FUN! When can we do this again?"

HE'S A KEEPER!!...in whatever social construct you and he agree on.
Cindy O
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 25
Definition of FWB,FB,Good Friend
Posted: 5/16/2012 12:23:06 AM
I will share with you what _my_ definitions of the various relationship types are and, support the definition with the level of emotional involvement characteristic in each one. Based on the level of emotional involvement between you and your SO, you can figure out the category in which I would consider your relationship to be in.


FB - (Fvck Buddies)

a Fvck Buddy is someone we just met or someone we are, at best, acquainted with. a FB "relationship" is one where two people use each other's bodies solely for sexual gratification. There is little to no emotion involved. There is no commitment of exclusivity or longevity in this type of relationship, it may end as soon as the F is done. FB are rarely invited to family events (if ever.) Additionally, if any of the participants have kids, it is very rare for the kids to ever meet the FB.


FWB - (Friends With Benefits)

a FWB relationship is one where the participants are _genuine_ friends. Genuine friendships are not easy to make and they do require nurturing over time. A FWB relationship is inherently monogamous/exclusive, based on trust and genuine mutual caring. Before the participants start engaging in sex, a significant amount of time is invested building a friendship. This type of relationship usually ends amicably per mutual accord after an indefinite amount of time. There is no commitment from the participants to invest effort into making it "permanent" (merge lives) but, it may happen on rare occasions. One of the participants may invite his/her friend to family events such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Additionally, the friend will commonly be acquainted with the kids (if any) and, may even help them with their homework, be a math tutor, teach them how to play chess or other games and play together.


Good Friend or Genuine Friend.

a FWB without sex. Everything else applies.


"Committed Long Term Relationship" - Phase I - FBH - (Fvck Buddies with Hope)

These are the most common type of relationships. They are also the ones that are "politically correct"/"socially accepted"/"meet my parents" type of relationships. In these relationships the participants engage in sex more often than not _without_ first becoming friends. They engage in sex because of emotional passion, physical attraction and chemistry. They are usually characterized by the fact that the participants start with genuine intentions of building a "permanent" type of relationship (presumably marriage or a variation thereof.). After the initial emotional passion and chemistry have been incinerated in the bedroom, the participants truly get to know each other and, attempt to build a permanent "Romantic Best Friendship". This goal is attained only in rare occasions. The participants are invited to family events and are actively involved with the kids (if any). These relationships end while in their Phase II as defined below.


"Committed Long Term Relationship" - Phase II - HFB - (Hopeless Fvck Buddies)

These relationship usually come from Phase I above. The participants never really became friends and their objective of building a Romantic Best Friendship has failed but the relationship has not ended yet. Without a friendship nor romance as foundation, the relationship continues for some time without hope (HFB) until one of the participants' patience and/or tolerance runs out or, when one of the participants finds a new partner who may be a FB or a new FBH. The reason the relationship does not end at Phase I is because the participants are reluctant to go back to being sexless in POF seeking another FBH and trying again. These relationships, more often than not, do not end amicably. After the breakup the participants often have to take a hiatus from the dating scene to "get themselves back together".


"Eternal Bliss" - RBF - (Romantic Best Friendship) - RPR - (Rational Passion Relationship)

These relationships usually come from FBH - Phase I and, on somewhat rare occasions from FWB. It is achieved by those who manage to become true friends after the initial emotional passion and chemistry have been incinerated in the bedroom or, by those who had started as true friends and unexpectedly ended up here. They hold hands, cuddle and spoon until death do them apart. Unfortunately, they are getting increasingly rare and, there is no known method to reach them.
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