Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > Do we blame too much of a person's behaviour on personality and not t      Home login  
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 2
view profile
Do we blame too much of a person's behaviour on personality and not the siituation?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)

Can sexual behaviour such as that described in the TiH thread we explained by the fact that women feel naturally dominated by bigger, stronger men than themselves? Do such women have submissive personalities or do they just desire such relationships because it is easier for them if they don't have to make decisions about a situation?

No, most women go for a type which they are familiar with, either through social contact or guys that are mirror images of their friends partners.
It's been said that a lot of women end up with men who are a lot like their own father.

Me? im of a quiet/thoughtful disposition, this can lead to people seeing me as ignorant in certain social situations, when in fact I just don't like making myself the centre of attention, laughing at nothing funny like a mental case and talking utter bullsh1t..... Which seems to be most peoples idea of "being friendly".

What people assume from a personality, is often very wrong indeed. Clouded I think by personality stereotypes presented to us on TV.
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 3
view profile
Do we blame too much of a person's behaviour on personality and not the siituation?
Posted: 5/3/2012 4:08:58 PM

I think some things you can blame on personality...some on the situation.
Some behaviours are inherited. I married a man who had two kids already.
The oldest son had spent his first 6 years living with his Dad and grandparents...with Grandma doing most of the cooking.
The daughter had spent her first 6 years living with her Mum (except for one weekend a month when she visited her Dad) she grew up on her Mum's cooking.
Then we had a son together and he grew up in a house where I did all the cooking.

Three kids....each one of them bought up by a different woman...yet all three kids whould only eat dry/crunchy foods. They each had different tastes....Josh lived mainly on bananas, weetbix, sausage rolls and fishfingers....Jaimee lived mainly on mandarins, chips and sandwiches with vegemite and sprinkles in them...and mine lives mainly on apples, chips, muesli bars and bacon sarnies.
And all three would only eat their cereal and bread dry (without milk or butter/marj)

Anyway...the two older ones grew out of it in their late teens when they realised that if they wanted to be out socialising with their friends they would have to eat what their friends there is hope for mine yet lol.

So which is the above? I know my parents would never provide a menu for me to choose from so i ate what was provided or found something for myself. Saying that, my parents didn't determine who i am today or what i was like as a child. In most things I like being good at what i do... even if i cant stand the task itself. Thats the way I am regardless of the situation i'm in.
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 4
view profile
Do we blame too much of a person's behaviour on personality and not the siituation?
Posted: 5/7/2012 9:54:36 AM
I suspect it's a mixture of personality, background and values/ideas taught, and circumstances. Circumstances can be very powerful though and I do think are underestimated. So many of our organisations that are supposed to help people have a 'blame the victim' mentality where they suppose the person wouldn't be in those circumstances if they'd had a different personality. I think this is going too far and ignores personal experiences. In the past, it was assumed people needed a helping hand at times of stress, a bit of luck, or the right contacts. The same still applies though it's considered politically incorrect to give people a bit of extra cash at times of stress/bad luck or to help them out via contacts. Money cushions people and reduces the need for all these things and maybe that's why it's so important now in a time where we have little social support.

I don't know about submissive women. The relationships I've seen where the woman appears to be under the control of the guy are not so straightforward as that. OK, he gets jealous if she flirts with other men, but he does bring in a good income and is good at DIY so she gets a trade off. I expect there are women who like to be dominated, full stop, but I don't move in those circles. Most of the women I know are independent and strong and wouldn't dream of putting up with that.
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > Do we blame too much of a person's behaviour on personality and not the siituation?