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 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 4
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your ownPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Unfortunately i predict a massive gender divide on this one. There will always be exceptions to the rule but its my experience that women with well paid careers will not date an unemployed/ on low pay male, single parent or not.

Roles reversed of course the expectations are far different. I will watch this thread with interest.
 ~Hams~
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 7
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 6:06:33 AM
As an International hitman I would love to find a lady out there who could help me hold my sniper rifle
when I was away on a job in Italy bumping off some mafioso but I'd be prepared to go out with any one especially if she could read a map.
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 12
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 7:31:50 AM
Nobody has a career that is more superior or more inferior to mine. I soooo hate that sort of terminology.

I was in a high powered career when I was a H & S Advisor but my career would have gone straight down the tubes if there hadn't been people that created the situation that made my job a requirement.

If it wasn't for the mechanic that fixed my car, I couldn't get to work. If it wasn't for the people that stocked the shelves, I couldn't shop, without people working in clothes shop, I couldn't have 'looked the part' for my job - you get the picture...

However, I have seen situations where it's ok for a wife to say she stays home and looks after kids but looked down on if the kids are older and they say they go out and stack shelves.

Does anyone remember that taxi driver who won Mastermind - wonder how many high flying women would have ignored him had he said 'hi' on here. I wonder how high flying men would view him at a function when he said, oh, I drive a taxi for a living.

Each person is different - Some people finish work at whatever time and want to forget about it as best they can and just chill. They don't want to discuss their work or listen to someone elses high level stresses.

Others need someone who can understand and discuss so they can wind down. In return, they understand the need to listen to their partners work stresses.

I'm the latter. I need to be able to talk to someone that listens and understands a little about my day, either that or leave me the hell alone for an hour after work. If they work 9-5 then they are less likely to be understanding that I might have to cancel a date because I have to work late/work over the weekend or in the evening from home.
 matt e
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 13
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:03:43 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^
Fred Housego Haha
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 15
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:14:25 AM
^^^^ AlmostNormal - that is the best attitude to have. If you like them and If you get on great then it doesn't matter if it's two shelf fillers, two barristers or a shelf filler and a barrister.

If you fit, you fit

Anyone who chooses a partner specifically down to the job they do has to ask themselves -

If you love someone and they change their career through choice, promotion, redundancy or ill health - do you stop loving them? Unless their personality changes, or the way they treat you changes, they are still the same person you fell for.
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 21
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 10:32:40 AM
I totally agree with DrMatt.

Another thing to take into account. Would you date someone on a low salary who has already paid off his mortgage, car and has no debt or someone with a high salary with a massive mortgage, runs his/her credit cards to the hilt every month etc. Someone earning £1000 per month with few outgoings can have a much better lifesyle than someone earning £5000 a month with a huge amount of outgoings.

High flyers with high income don't always have as much disposable income as those in lower paid jobs.

Quite often the people that have been in very high powered, stressful jobs get to a place in their life when they have had enough of living for work and are happy to take on low stress jobs.

I used to be a Health & Safety Advisor - then I chucked it in and went into Admin, then I notched up again by becoming a Contractor. Good money but never sure how long you will be 'resting' between contracts . Totally different 'levels' in the employment/career market. Right now I am not working, does it mean I have changed my lifesyle - not at all.

It all comes back down to 'don't read a book by it's cover' - you never know what lies within the pages until you take the time to find out.

I guess that's where profiles/first messages come into their own because they might give you an indication as to who the person is and if they are likely to suit you.

 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 23
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:10:08 PM
I hav`nt actually encountered any issue`s regarding a partners job ( to date at least ), 1 ex worked in the post office ( and still does 8 years later ), another had worked in the forensic medice field, although when i met her, she was in health and safety, in the food industry, another was unemployed, , the one who worked in food H+S earned considerably more than me at the time, but neither of us made an issue out of it, and why should it ?

on the other side of the coin, i`ve worked as a street cleaner,sewage worker,builders labourer, and my current job for the past 12 years, despatch worker, none of those jobs has had any ( obvious) influence on who i`ve been with either. :O)
 soverncomfort
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 24
Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:24:44 PM
Pretty gobsmacked that so many of you say 'I like my partner to have such and such a type of job'. I mean, surely if you meet someone and it clicks, who gives a monkeys what job the other has got.

Mind you having said that my last three girlfriends were all teaching assistants so what does that say lol.

I work in IT but am as far removed from the geeky stigma that has always been associated with IT. I actually considered trying to manipulate my job on here somehow as I'm sure people think 'oh IT .....boring' ....come on people its the person you're wanting to date not the job.

And yes we can all say it tells us a little about the person but it doesn't. It is just a job and not everyone gets to do their ideal career however much we'd love to.
 *rem*
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 25
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:32:54 PM
I would date someone who had a much better than job than me. If a woman chose not to date me, because I was in a much worse job than her... I would totally understand.

Well I wouldn't. I'd think she was a materialistic moneygrabbing goodtime girl and tell her to fnck off.
I've done all sorts. Vacuum cleaner salesman,studio engineer, dishwasher, chef, teacher, musician, network manager, factory worker...
Who cares??
 soverncomfort
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 30
Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 2:03:51 PM
to message 29. I think what I was saying is that just because someone has a certain job doesnt mean they are that sort of person. If anything, I was making the opposite of a generalisation. Well done to your friend ....I did a similar thing when I was 29 and decided to up and move away from friends & family to go to uni as I had got stuck in a bit of a rut at the time. Best thing I ever did and gave me more direction and confidence as a person, even though it took me right out of my comfort zone. The career I chose at the time is probably not something I would chose now but twas a different time and different world.

The point I was making is that if you do a certain job, it doesn't mean that job defines the personality you are and I'm sure you'll agree. How you get to where you are now in your chosen career or current job is probably more personality defining I think.
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 32
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/13/2012 2:38:47 PM
^^^^ Well said Lusipher

Same answer applies to anyone who isn't happy that people have choices. If someone isn't into you then it doesn't matter what the reason is, It might be nice if they tell you politely but it doesn't actually make any difference - If they don't want you - they don't want you.
 zonked123
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 41
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/14/2012 12:04:09 PM
I reckon if there is a power imballance in the relationship... by money, level of attractiveness, emotional commitment...then your going to have problems. Dating someone with a better carear is fine I think, so long as the feels feels sufficiently good about themselves that won't be made to feel second best.
 soverncomfort
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 43
Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/14/2012 2:26:16 PM
msg45 ...agree with your first point. I think I may be thinking in terms of age old stereotypes. Maybe have it wrong but sure some still view things like that.

Each to their own I guess. If someone wants to bypass me because of my job thats up to them. Definitely their loss though ....I'm happy with who I am and know I'll be a good catch for someone. By no means perfect but who is.
 Nicolakate
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 57
Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/15/2012 3:46:18 AM
I dont care what job a person does as long as they have one!. A job does not define a person life experiance does having said that some job's people do will give you a hint to the type of person they are. And should it matter if you like each other and have a spark (tell me what that is please) lol.
 matt_hugh
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 58
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/15/2012 3:49:44 AM
i would date someone who had a more well paid job than my own, i wouldn't like to say superior career because that assumes a lot.

the only issue i would have is if someone was really career oriented, i genuinely don't understand work being the main focus of your life, but i guess that means the situation may not arise.


conversely i don't really wanna be dating someone who has no interest in working or can't pay their own way.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 60
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 5/15/2012 5:10:58 AM
This thread is a classic example of why so many relationships fail, right or wrong is irrelevent sooner or later money (or lack of) will enter the equation.

As said above someone with money will sooner or later resent the other for not paying their way. Money truly is the root of all evil, but that is the world we live in and are forced to acknowledge it.

I think the OP question on career orientation has missed the point, and the real question should be about relative wealth and status.

I would much rather date woman who volunteers to help those less fortunate than one that works in the banking industry earning a fortune. Success is relative and subjective and according to many on this thread i am undateable despite never pulling a benefit in my life because by their standards i am not employed.

But then again we also lead into what we consider wealth and status to mean. Far too many feel money is the path to happiness, it isnt it gives more choices but does not guarantee contentment.

My opinion on all this is that there are givers and takers in life and those that consider status in others as a priority are inherently selfish and have no chance whatsoever of getting a piece of my heart, they will get my compassion in times of need but it ends there.

Those that look for inner strength and integrity in others will discover that my heart is limitless. I have had cash aplenty, and i have been homeless, and i know which of the two teaches us more about value and what is really important.
 IonaM
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 67
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 3/6/2013 2:59:32 PM
Personally I couldn't care less. I care far more about what a person's character and personality are like and if we get along. I would even go so far as to say if I guy wants to not have a job and be a house husband that's fine too - as long as he does a good job of it.

At the end of the day as long as you can pay your bills, create a joint vision of life and feel for each other - it's all good. Life is to hard to worry about useless crap like careers and status derived from such...
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 71
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 3/6/2013 10:36:00 PM
Having worked as a road sweeper....sewage cleaning team....dust lorries... ( and proudly so ).... i never judge a potential date by her job or career , and, having been stuck on the dole myself for almost 12 years,prior to starting my current job 13 years ago, i dont judge a potential date badly,even if she`s not working, i know first hand how at times, impossible it can be to get off the dole once on it :O)
 AthenaMarina
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 77
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 3/10/2013 5:23:19 AM
I'd go either way. Usually I have the better career, that's how it's usually been.
But I've had a couple of men say to me "Because I do such & such women don't find me attractive" (or something like that) & I'd think what!0? But I still find you attractive!
 looking4ben
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 78
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 3/10/2013 11:58:39 AM
Thanks Graham for your post. I found it quite inspirational, and looked at your profile to find out a bit more about your lifestyle. Well done for getting yourself into the comfortable position you are (finincial and emotional).

This all came at an intersting time for me, as i'm moving down to aylesbury soon for a less stressful working life, maybe i'll be part-time by 40! but I happen to love my job, so I'll certainly be keeping on going (-:

Ben.
 looking4ben
Joined: 1/8/2010
Msg: 80
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Dating superior/inferior careers to your own
Posted: 3/10/2013 2:40:57 PM
Thankyou JACKnHER for thinking of our underpaid public service roles; all those nurses, doctors, teachers, police, and anybody else who has basically made a salary sacrific to contribute more to society. Then again spare a thought for people stuck in well paid meaningless drudgery, trapped by their own aspirations.

My difficultly at the moment is being a guy with a great career, and finding that women are nervous that I should be interested in them. How can I reassure a sweet girl, whom I could easily fall in love with and see a future with, that she's all I would want?

Easier in a longerterm relationship, but how to not put a girl off in the first few dates, without keeping quiet about my work? (about which I simply love to talk).
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