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 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 1
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A lesson from "Hot In Cleveland"Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
This post could almost be titled "In praise of older women".

I probably spend too much time watching television, but one program I genuinely enjoy is TV Land's sitcom "Hot In Cleveland". The acting is good, the dialog is witty, the guest stars are "old friends" I enjoy seeing. But for men, it's more than just entertainment; it's an important lesson.

For those few who haven't seen it, "Hot In Cleveland" is based on the premise that mature women can still be attractive and sexy when considered on their own merits instead of being constantly compared to much younger women. Friends Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli), Joy (Lane Leeves) and Victoria (Wendy Malick) may have been considered over-the-hill in youth-osessed Los Angeles, but in the real world (Cleveland) men still see them as "hot"; so they start believing they are hot, which only makes them hotter. But they aren't the only "older women" who enjoy the attention of men -- so does their housekeeper, Elka (Betty White), once she begins associating with them

I have long said that getting older does not have to mean "getting old", and that women over 45 can still be attractive and sexy. "Hot In Cleveland" drives home the point very effectively. Ladies and gentlemen, Valerie Bertinelli and Jane Leeves are in their 50s; Wendy Malick (and her character's nemesis, Susan Lucci) are in their 60s; and the amazing Betty White is 90!

There may be another lesson to be learned from the ladies' neighbor Rick (Wayne Knight) during the second season of the show; but I could have taught that lesson myself. :)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 2
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 11:44:50 AM
I think most people already know this.
Forgetting for the moment that the forums are often a war zone,
you only have to look at pictures of some of the regular posters here
to know that they are still incredibly good looking and "hot".

What often times happens in here though, is it comes off as a cry of
"look at me, look at me". In real life? I think I'm pretty okei for a
woman of 60...in here not so much. You never see truly hot women
(inside and out) complaining on these forums.

But I could be wrong, even though I'm not usually.

 SONNI100
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 3
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 11:48:47 AM
I'll throw a 'ditto' on what browneyes said..for 59, I'm pretty okay too.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 12:50:15 PM
so your saying older women who look like the celebs you metioned are considered hot and have changed your views on a womans age and attrractiveness.


This somehow just makes me feel nausated for some reason...??? maybe now you think women like the ones on that show, the celebs... are the type of older woman you would like to meet.
I feel like you have watched too much tv and ow have a distorted sense of reality. Those celebs are HIGHLY paid models and they do not go out with average non celeb guys.
I just wanted to tell you in case you did not realize that either.

wayyyyyy too much tv for you I think........... instead go to walmart and get a glimpse of typical average people.... you will be truely awakened then....
you will realize life is not like TV and 99.999 percent of women the age of valerie bert do not look that good.

Shows like this are a problem for men who do online dating ! they distort reality and why so many of us have met guys 100 pounds overweight ( met based on his posting deceptive pics) and then go on and on about a women being 10 pounds overweight.
This show is going to make online dating hard on you... instead hang out at walmart for an afternoon people watching... its more realistic
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 5
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 12:55:08 PM

instead go to walmart and get a glimpse of typical average people....


agree here. Most older people, probably well more than 50% are repulsively overweight. When a celeb making millions, you are paid to be thin.
 ThusSpokeZarathustra
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 6
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 1:12:38 PM
I'll have to go to Cleveland then. The vast majority (probably 90% +) of women over 45 in North America that I see are definitely not attractive and sexy.

Maybe that's where they are all hiding.

But I guess if someone thinks that Betty White is attractive, then I guess the bar has been set fairly low. What would she be, a ggilf?
 Rosiehere
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 7
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 3:07:24 PM
I also enjoy that show very much. Living in L.A., the show has more meaning to me because I get exactly where they are coming from. I loved the episode that one of them was in shock that men their age actually like to see women eat and not be rail thin or under 35. I think if women eat healthy and exercise they age better than their contemporaries. Also having a few bucks for elective work helps. You know the three characters in real life have had work done which I am all for. I think men in need should also go under the knife. Why not look as young as you feel.
 02hdf150
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 8
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 3:19:20 PM

Shows like this are a problem for men who do online dating ! they distort reality and why so many of us have met guys 100 pounds overweight ( met based on his posting deceptive pics) and then go on and on about a women being 10 pounds overweight.
This show is going to make online dating hard on you... instead hang out at walmart for an afternoon people watching... its more realistic


Not only that holycowww but look at the majority commercials featuring a husband and wife. The husband generally is not a good looking guy and the woman is drop dead gorgeous. I think that also plays into why guys who are overweight and balding thinks they can land the athletic-bodied female.

I heard good things about the show Mike and Molly. I haven't seen it but Billy Gardell is the main character and he's a funny stand up comedian. I think the couple in the show represents what couples typically look like in America.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 9
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:21:43 PM
Some horrible matches per TV land of old fat man and hot woman....
because on TV they make it seem :possible:

all these are ridiculous matches !
fat immature guy with very attractive woman... all stupid as in real life none of these women
would get involved with these men.

Homer Simpson & Marge Simpson – The Simpsons
Jim & Cheryl – According to Jim
Doug Heffernan & Carrie Heffernan – The King of Queens
Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden – The Honeymooners
 02hdf150
Joined: 3/24/2012
Msg: 10
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:45:14 PM

Some horrible matches per TV land of old fat man and hot woman....
because on TV they make it seem :possible:

all these are ridiculous matches !
fat immature guy with very attractive woman... all stupid as in real life none of these women
would get involved with these men.

Homer Simpson & Marge Simpson – The Simpsons
Jim & Cheryl – According to Jim
Doug Heffernan & Carrie Heffernan – The King of Queens
Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden – The Honeymooners


Don't forget Fred & Wilma Flintstone and Betty and Barney Rubble! lol
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 11
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:54:54 PM
I see good looking women with fat guys all of the time Holycow. A successful fat guy can always get a good looking woman if he wants. There are always women willing to sell out for the lifestyle. I thought I read that you did the same thing, that you married up with a guy who took good care of you? Did I get that right? I don't recall your saying you were actually in love with the guy, but I might have missed it.

And Ralph and Alice were a PERFECT match. Ralph had personality and a Job. What did Alice bring to the picture other than the ability to clean and cook?
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 12
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 4:59:45 PM

I also enjoy that show very much. Living in L.A., the show has more meaning to me because I get exactly where they are coming from.
I can relate too. Here in CA, I'm just another blonde and whenever I used to visit relatives in Michigan and Ohio, the men went gaga over my being blonde and from CA. When I was more active on POF, I would get more inquiries from guys out of states than here in CA. In fact I joke with my friends about being considered hot in Elks A$$ Montana.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 13
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 5:14:51 PM
Yes if the woman is toned and taut and has had a bit of work done, then sure and then she will attract the younger guys looking for uncommitted sex. However very few men over 50 plus so are hot unfortunately and have ED problems. So those hot older women probably dont want them.

I know that show, unfortunately it didnt last long here. Betty White is amazing for sure.
 BSWStudent
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 14
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 10:33:15 PM
Thank you "Smokingcigars" I completely appreciate what you are saying. When we're all thrown in a pool with our dating counterparts/older and younger, those of us who are over 45 are competing with the 20 and 30-somethings out there. I saw a profile today of a 53 year old man who was looking for a woman aged 21-50. I think it shows his lack of experience in dating in the real world. There are SO many beautiful women out there who are in their 50's and above, and folks like that other gentleman are completely missing out on the beauty, intelligence, and banter he would appreciate and sincerely enjoy. I'm confident that men like that are going to find them selves feeling older than their years, and bored out of their minds. Thanks again.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 15
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/16/2012 11:06:02 PM
I just saw a profile of a man who is 54, who is seeking women 18-55 and in a forum response admitted that women have told him that he is old enough to be their father.

I doubt the fabulous, charming, sexy, intelligent 50+ ladies who are his peers are the ones saying that.

I wonder what he would think of a 54 year old man trying to chat up his 18 year old daughter?
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 16
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 12:07:36 AM
Modern Family - That guy Al Grundy, whatsisname and hot Columbian Sophia Vergara and the dialogue that she not with him for his money or residency etc. lol!!!! Please!!!!!!!.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 17
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 5:46:27 AM

Some horrible matches per TV land of old fat man and hot woman....
because on TV they make it seem :possible:

all these are ridiculous matches !
fat immature guy with very attractive woman... all stupid as in real life none of these women
would get involved with these men.

Homer Simpson & Marge Simpson – The Simpsons
Jim & Cheryl – According to Jim
Doug Heffernan & Carrie Heffernan – The King of Queens
Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden – The Honeymooners


Don't forget Fred & Wilma Flintstone and Betty and Barney Rubble! lol


LOL beat me to it :)

Seriously, there are that few hot women over 45 in some of your places? With the group I run MANY of the women are over 40; and quite a lot of them are drop dead gorgeous. (the Valerie Bertinelli thing is weird though; I've been told probably over 1,000 times over my lifetime I totally remind people of her; but now that I'm older I don't hear it nearly as much as I did growing up ( now I'm told Wynona or Ann Margret) when I heard it literally from EVERYBODY). But men and women both can be incredibly gorgeous over 40; I wonder how many people that people are seeing places that they are assuming are younger aren't; because most of the people I know over 40 don't look nearly their age; I just happen to know how old they are.

People see what they want to or expect to see (and there are a lot of stunning people in forums too that are over 45; even the ones that say you don't feel that way so much in here ARE every bit as attractive as many you sound like you are unfavorably comparing yourselves against.

face it, we're all hot :)
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 18
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 6:43:37 AM
OP this is so funny. You have to watch a TV show to realize there are good looking intelligent funny interesting women over 45!?! You DO need to turn off the boob tube and get out more!
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 19
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 6:56:37 AM
Well, just google "Jane Fonda Dazzles at 74" and there ya go. :)
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 20
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 9:25:57 AM
Op, thank you for trying to post a positive thread about the aging process--I get what you intended.

I think you are correct that when a man treats a woman like she is, as you say HOT, then she begins to view herself in that fashion and the results is that positive attitude of herself actually makes her feel better about herself.

Unfortunately as you have by now read there is a large majority of women who have no desire to be viewed as HOT.

Having a good self image is about as HOT as you can get--so many loose that thru the years--they view themselves as "has-beens" not as good as they once were. I recently met a man I thought was drop dead gorgeous but his self-image is that he no longer has a size 50 chest and size 30 waist cause he cant continue as a bodybuilder due to accidents he had fighting for his country. The man has zero body fat and a six pack and doesnt think he is great looking--full head of blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He is--but his view of himself is so tainted that I doubt anyone will convince him otherwise.

Beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, forms and can include intelligence as a backbone. What one person might be attracted to another might not--the real secret is knowing what you like, what you find HOT and directing your time and attention in that.

Some women/men are so abusive to members of the opposite sex with their attitude it makes you wonder why they are on a dating site--people will respond to the vibes you put out and if you hold the opposite sex in a negative manner then you are only going to be meeting people to affirm that.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 21
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 10:01:49 AM
I’m going to take serious exception to msg 20 by LilyBeyaz:


scrape off the makeup, put them in off the rack clothing, take away the 300$ hairstyles, etc., and what you have is any ordinary woman you might see in RL, someone who would not be recognizable as the woman you are seeing in that program.

I call BS on that one. Valerie Bertinelli is not an “ordinary woman”, never has been, never will be.



your 'approval' of them as still hot and sexy is pretty much pointless.

I’ve got a news flash for you. Men like “HOT women”. They always have, they always will. It does not matter what you think, how much you disapprove of men drooling over “hot women” like Valerie. Your disapproval will have about as much effect as trying to hold back the tide with a teaspoon.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 22
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 10:38:31 AM
Bravo to message 20! Very well put!

<div class="quote"> I think you are correct that when a man treats a woman like she is, as you say HOT, then she begins to view herself in that fashion and the results is that positive attitude of herself actually makes her feel better about herself.

There are a lot of benefits for guys who know how to treat a woman. I've always said that he who doesn't "get it" doesn't "get any." As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey" There are lots of guys out there who are angry and nasty and wonder why they are alone or not getting "lucky".



<div class="quote"> Some women/men are so abusive to members of the opposite sex with their attitude it makes you wonder why they are on a dating site--people will respond to the vibes you put out and if you hold the opposite sex in a negative manner then you are only going to be meeting people to affirm that.

It is sad that our society considers women of a certain age invisible and without value. Women are just not allowed to age.

<div class="quote"> I just saw a profile of a man who is 54, who is seeking women 18-55
I see a lot of this too, especially in the shallow pool of Southern CA, and I just shake my head, chuckle, and think good luck with that buddy.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 23
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A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 10:49:13 AM
From the time I was 12 with the exception of a brief period between committed relationships from age 30-31, I was pleasantly surprised when re-entering the dating world in my 40s. An impression I get of women in my age group and older is that women seem to grow more visibly from their life experience. The obvious self-assuredness that comes from that is a seriously sexy and exciting quality.
 loveoutside
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 24
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 12:19:06 PM

I call BS on that one. Valerie Bertinelli is not an “ordinary woman”, never has been, never will be.


Ummm, not really. She's actually quite average at best (look at her no makeup photo's), even she will tell you that when she went through that weight battle discussing how ugly she felt. Now a company call Jenny Craigs is paying her to be certain way, a resource which I don't think average women would have (and motivation - re:money).

I don't know what the purpose of thread like this is for - there are hot women in every age group. Go take a look at some of the posts written by ladies in their 20's complaining how men won't look at them. Hotness got nothing to do with age or even appearance sometimes.

For me, I literally could feel myself getting sexy each day, then I wake up. Gotta love that temperpedic.
 ThusSpokeZarathustra
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 25
A lesson from Hot In Cleveland
Posted: 5/17/2012 12:21:01 PM

I have to laugh-average guys always think they are going to get the young-hot chicks. Won't find anyone with a brain and ounce of self esteem.

Brains and self esteem aren't necessary in a woman.
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