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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 1
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
So. Aging fishette checks out aging profilee. He has height. He has hair. And his profile statement spells "He has heart." Shares most of her interests. Seems genuinely here to do some reel fishing for a real life relationship. Aging fishette actually reads his entire profile circumspectly ----- twice.

Well, shiver her timbers, doesn't she find herself soaking up a line sortof scrunched up in the middle of a relatively long profile statement:


<div class='quote'> My border collie and cat are as important to me as my family and friends. So if you have allergies or issues with dog and or cat hair, trust me I will not give them up for you.

Is he kidding??????? Granted, the dog (and cat) is man's best friend, but literally??? So should this allergy ridden fishette write anyway, or should she take him at his literal word?

Is the above definition of "love" for one's animals as something placed in the upper deck of the same boat with "family and friends" the inevitable outcome of too many years spent middle aged and alone. I mean, it's absolutely one thing for someone our age to be clear to any prospective lover that our children will always come first -- or always be "as important" to us as any love we may have at this age. But are singles over 45 so resigned to never finding That Special Love that they are not even willing to leave themselves open to meeting Mr/Ms. Right unless they accept a "love" on par with our animals?


,I sure as hell wouldn't give up my IG who I've had for over 11yrs.,
for someone I just met on the net.


And to clarify: not when you've just met on the net, but iff you've met and you discover that by some miracle you've actually met That Special Someone?

The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
And for a pet?
 TempusFujis
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 2
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:15:43 AM
Well OP, most folks has what we call " deal breakers" that happens to be his deal breaker that is what important to him, just Like I suspect you have a deal breaker.

I remember meeting a woman years ago, we had so much in common from Disliking of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Socialism to doing things to help good people, physically appealing, mentally appealing but guess what? she likes to smoke dope and I don't and want nothing to do with people that smoke dope, now some people said " ever heard of compromise" to which I replied of course, I dated a woman that smoked dope and from my experience it became a problem and a source of tension in our relationship.

Back to your situation is he right or wrong for his obsession of his pets, hard to say but its his right and if you're allergic to the dog/cat hair there is no point on torturing yourself.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 3
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:23:47 AM
But are singles over 45 so resigned to never finding That Special Love that they are not even willing to leave themselves open to meeting Mr/Ms. Right unless they accept a "love" on par with our animals?

That seemingly "unconditional" love from a pet may be soo addictive for some middle-aged pet owners that they could easily refuse to give it up for any persnickety real live imperfect human being, ever..
Consider the multitude of confirmed eccentric "cat-ladies" profiles on POF for many years that displace most of their human need for affection onto less demanding furry creatures..

IF you would vow to always leap naked to the door whenever your "master" arrived home, lick his face and hands with a joyous bounce,
jump in his lap whenever he sits down, rub his legs and purr, come running *every* time he turns on the electric can-opener, then just maybe he would add you to his menagerie...
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 4
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:24:16 AM
He's just being honest and saying he comes as a packaged deal...pets included!
I'm in the same boat,I sure as hell wouldn't give up my IG who I've had for over 11yrs.,
for someone I just met on the net.
 fillyphilly
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 5
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 8:35:53 AM
People feel that way about different things, for some people it's their pets (which will not live forever) for others it's their kids, parents, siblings, extended family, or friends. Most people don't come totally free of all attachments. You have to decide if those attachments are acceptable or not. On the plus side at least animals can't talk back or talk badly about you to their human which people can do.
In the end it's your comfort level.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 6
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:19:58 AM

And to clarify: not when you've just met on the net, but iff you've met and you discover that by some miracle you've actually met That Special Someone?

The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
And for a pet?


Apparently you've never had a bond that some of the rest of us have had with our pets,and you just don't get it,and probably never will!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 7
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:23:34 AM
I am surprised that you don't get it.
To many an animal, whether it be a cat/dog/chinchilla/whatever, is a loving companion.
Why would they give up unconditional love for someone that they just met?

That's like asking your SO other to give up their child for you.
And yes ... that has been done, by very selfish sick people,
(as in the stepfather when my mom got involved with him).

It is you that has the issue.
It is you that is demanding someone bow to your terms.
Sad ... very sad.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 8
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:38:48 AM
^^Landra, you kill me and are right on the money! LOL! I have 3 small parrots who I consider part of my family and back when I only had the c 0 ckatiel, one guy wanted me to get rid of him sight unseen. Guess which one I got rid of? The bird has been with me going on 16 years now.

A few months ago, I was dating a guy who really loved my birds. I was temporarily fostering a chihuahua (who now has a great home) and he seemed threatened by her for some reason...which ended up being a control issue that he had. He had a hissy fit because I went from the kitchen to the couch (instead of the bedroom) and she jumped in my lap. He walked out.

Fast forward one month and he sends me an email trying to booty call me and says no animals, except for him. I wrote back and said that I preferred the animals, which incited him. Ultimatums about pets just don't work, so it was best that he was upfront. I've been lucky in having most of the guys I have dated (even the ones who are allergic to dogs and cats) be intrigued by them.
 FlaxenBlonde
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9
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History
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:43:57 AM
Stargazin--- I agree with what you said except "....take allergy pills, come on over for a visit and quitcher gripin'. :) LOL....seriously, it's not an insurmountable problem."

For some of us (including me) taking an allergy pill will not eliminate an allergic reaction to cats, dogs, and a multitude of other animals. For me, when I am around dogs/cats/horses, etc. --- allergy meds do not help with wheezing, difficulty breathing, coughing and constriction of the chest. So, yes it can be an insurmountable problem UNLESS, his dog / cat were one of the so-called "hypoallergenic" breeds. For some of us, it's not simply griping-- allergies are a real medical condition that can and do lead to asthma and asthmatic attacks if not dealt with properly.

I love dogs/cats and have had them as pets for many years but they had to be outdoor pets because of my allergies. Just recently, I adopted a rescue dog that is a Maltese/Lhasa Apso breed. I wanted to adopt her since she is considered a hypoallergenic dog. Her hair is like human hair and she sheds very, very little so she doesn't make me sick. I'm ecstatic over that!

As we all know, boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives can all come and go but your pets will remain loyal to you. A couple might date a month, a year or longer & then they break up. If you gave up your pet for that person, you'd likely come to regret it sooner or later. As a person who has allergies, it would be rather presumptuous of me to expect a possible romantic interest to ditch his pets for me. If we're not a match, no harm, no foul... just keep "fishing."
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10
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History
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:59:20 AM
Funny post Ready_Real!!....;)

There are pet owners, and then there are pet owners, and one needs to understand the difference and if you can compromise and tolerate either one, or both. I have been with those women that let their dogs and cats rule the home, sleep in their bed with them, make the whole house look and smell like an animal shelter and would not change a thing. Then I have been with women that had pets, but they were pets, had their place and love, but did not rule a thing and were happy to stay in their corner and/or go away when the door was closed or food placed on the table.

It is not having pets, and I am allergic to cats if they run the house, but how one treats them, takes care of them and their homes. I come from the old school of owning pets, and they were there for a reason but just like small children.....to be seen but not heard, and well trained to know what was expected. A begging dog is about as bad as a begging woman, and neither will get what they want with me, nor the attention they constantly seek.

I have owned dogs most of my life, and just had to put down my son's dog of 17 years, and she was a part of the family, but not the one that ruled the family, and certainly not the one that decided who, what, when, where and how. Pet ownership is very much like a relationship, and they vary as much as the people that try to have one.

cd
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 11
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:05:26 AM
You do have a option, MOVE ON!

if you don't like somoeones profile or it bugs you....you can move on...it's really that simple.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 12
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History
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:29:14 AM
It seems Aging Profilee is quite clear in his statement. Did you think he was kidding? Did you think he was not serious? Worst of all, did you think you could "change" or "fix" him, like so many women try to do with a man?

You're talking about a guy and his dog. Don't go there.
 ottgatman
Joined: 1/26/2012
Msg: 13
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:33:08 AM
Ready_Real I don't get it either.
Surely pet owners don't think they are the only ones who can provide happiness for their pets? My brother who lived in a great space for cats agreed to take my cat after I was seeing a woman who was allergic to cats. My cat was very happy there too. The relationship didn't work out in the end and 'the cat came back' and was back to his old self in no time. My cat has since died and I did my grieving and decided not to get another pet while I was dating. I can't see getting a pet still even though I am now retired. Perhaps when I want to settle down more and can spend more time with it.
But as you can see, there are very divergent and strongly held views. When I was searching for a woman I was wary of the very many profiles that had pics that showed them with their pets and carefully read their profile to see how they viewed their pets. If treated like a family member ( or better!) it raised a little red flag for me even though I am not allergic to pets.
So, if I was you I would not try to change someone's viewpoint and would avoid contacting anyone who stated something like you saw in that profile.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 14
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:54:40 AM

My border collie and cat are as important to me as my family and friends. So if you have allergies or issues with dog and or cat hair, trust me I will not give them up for you.

Is he kidding??????? Granted, the dog (and cat) is man's best friend, but literally??? So should this allergy ridden fishette write anyway, or should she take him at his literal word?

Nothing to worry about, who knows what will happen down the road.
By the time they get to know each other really well, the cat can die, the dog may perish, or the pet owner will lose his memory. Or you could get an assertive rottweiler.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 15
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 10:58:03 AM
Take him at his literal word. Never go into a relationship disdainful of the other person's values.

Many people care very much about their pets and consider them family.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 16
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 11:05:13 AM
Op, I feel your pain--to those without allergies it is easy to say--take a pill (have you read the side effects!). I think in the 80's that Tavist D put 30 lbs on me in one summer!

However, I grew up with animals and know that the unconditional love they give is about as good as it gets! To some there are pets and then to some their pets are their friends, their companions, and a very big part of their life.

My allergies are severe, but I have taken the shots (7 different times and life kept getting in the way of me finishing them--moving, babies, cancer, and then my insurance making it a $20 copay and I was going twice a week). I can say that the shots did help so much and now I have gotten to where only a few times a year do I have to "take a pill".

I have a cat and dog now--back before February I had 3 cats and 2 dogs and all the cats slept on the bed with me.

Now when I go out to walk the dog--my cat follows us around the block--it is pretty cool to be walking in the moonlight with my companions/friends.

I wouldn't trade my cat/dog for no allergies--but you have to make the decision based on what is right for you --and those who aren't used to animals in the house might find the way they act (and the owners think are totally adorable) to be hard to accept. My dog will perch on his back legs and beg for food when you are eating--he knows not to do it to me but let someone else come around with food and there he goes and they always give in! My cat will just crawl into your lap no matter what you are doing--and if you are sleeping you might wake up to him under your arm or against your body making bread as my momma called it; but it is really just his way of showing you love.

I wouldnt give up my pets and I had to pay $1000 as a security deposit cause the man said NO PETS, but I know mine wont go in the home and wont scratch up his door frames etc.

BTW I had both of mine before my last relationship began and I have them now that it has stopped--3 1/2 years later --so glad I didnt give them up.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:02:40 PM
So: even without having done so much as exchanged emails, you already want to start running this guys life, and rearranging his heart and soul to better suit you?

Might as well wail that "so and so would be juuuuust right (shades of Goldilocks), if only he/she would lose twenty pounds. Therefore they are letting down the principles of love, devotion, humanity, and everything that is right in the world if they fail to comply ahead of time with my desires."

I know myself. Lots of us do. Those of us who do, know that no matter how sure YOU are that we are a perfect match, sculpted by some magical Love deity, that if you fail to want all of what we consist of, that you are dead wrong.

Move along now, and keep looking until you find the profile that has all you listed, AND has no caveat that tilts it all into a c0cked hat for you.

There's a good lass.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 18
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Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:21:16 PM
Someone with severe animal allergies shouldn't date someone who has pets. It's hazardous to the physical health of the allergic person (more complicated than "taking a few pills), and hazardous to the mental health of the pet owner.
 Rosiehere
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 19
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:32:26 PM
I would be very attracted to a man like that. I think loyalty is a very appealing quality. Some men can easily walk away from their own children when they find a woman. I find that nauseating. This tells me he values relationships even if it is an animal. I think it was smart to put that in his profile. He will find another animal lover that understands what he is saying. Lots of people are like that and being over 45 has nothing to do with it. I have seen men and women in their 20's that feel the same.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 20
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:38:32 PM
Is he kidding???????


Nope.

Some of us feel that when we bring a pet into our lives, we've made a commitment to care for them. In many cases, giving them up means euthanizing them. I simply could not abandon my dog.

If I started dating someone who is allergic, she would have to be willing to put cohabiting on hold until the pet dies. If she's so allergic that she can't even be around me because of the pet dander on my clothing and in my car, she would be better off finding someone else. My dog will be with me for the rest of his life (or the rest of my life if that turns out to be the case).
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 21
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:46:46 PM
I have 6 cats & may foster Jezabel, who I fostered in the past, so it may be 7 under my roof...they r part of my family, just like kids... so YES SINCERELY...let me see, we should drop what we love cuz a stranger on the internet emails us?

\ /
..
0



Why would I choose a woman who I haven't even met yet over my dog, especially knowing that this would be a problem?
that would be a pathetic act of desperation...



It is you that has the issue.
It is you that is demanding someone bow to your terms.
Sad ... very sad.



The man has made himself clear, upfront, in a direct way.
Typical of women to think "oh, he doesn't really mean it. And besides, I can force him to change if I get serious with him"



So should this allergy ridden fishette write anyway, or should she take him at his literal word?

By all means, get involved with him. And when your allergies become a problem for you, and you then make them a problem for him by threatening, " it's the dogs or me", come back with a new thread about how he's putting his animals before you and we'll all tell you what a jerk he is. LOL
A woman with allergies who won't be able to tolerate his pets is not considered The One in his book. It's your loss, not his.
the whole train of thought is narcissistic imo- i want what i want regardless of their obvious preference...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 22
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:48:29 PM
Although my heart goes out to those who have to stand by and watch a potential match go down in flames due to an allergy dealbreaker( what about people who are allergic to other things that might be an irremovable or non-negotiable part of the environment?)-people who hold such feelings for their pets, IMO, demonstrate an amazing level of loyalty, dedication and sense of responsibility.
OP, I'm sorry that his pets are a dealbreaker, but seriously-you can't always just give a pet away to someone else. I wouldn't INFLICT "His Majesty"(my cat) on someone else so I could date an allergic person.

Would you REALLY want to date a guy who had his pets euthanised to accommodate YOU?

"Sincerely with our Dogs and Cats in our Middle AGES???"
Oh, you better believe it.
Cindy O
 ThusSpokeZarathustra
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 23
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 12:50:21 PM
There are thousands of available women within an hours drive that are available for dating.
I, however, have but one loyal dog who depends on me and has been a faithful friend.

Why would I choose a woman who I haven't even met yet over my dog, especially knowing that this would be a problem?
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 24
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 1:48:27 PM

The point of the post is that in makin such an absolute decision, this pet lover is willing to close off the possibility of finding some person with allergies who just may be The One?
And for a pet?

Yep, and for other 'absolutes' too.
Which means they just AREN'T "The One".
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 25
Sincerely with Our Dogs and Cats in our Middle Ages????
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:06:28 PM
People come and go but a dog would stay with you till death do you part.
I dont know what the big deal with that.. I see this exact same thing almost word to word on many women profiles. I would say move on dont contact him and dont bother. You might think he is perfect for you but I dont think you would be perfect for him..
Many times its more fun going out on a hike with a dog then a date with some of the women I met.
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