Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > what is love?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 2
view profile
History
what is love?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
after 5 years of singledom i`ve forgotten ! :O)
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 3
view profile
History
what is love?
Posted: 5/24/2012 10:00:21 PM
Love...is a 2 and a quarter ton landrover discovery :O)

Ok, its erm, a very poor substitute for a woman, but...some of us cant be choosers :O)
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 4
view profile
History
what is love?
Posted: 5/24/2012 10:22:10 PM
@ msg 39

"About as expensive either way ;) BADUM-TISH! "

Such is the price of love, wherever we find it hahahahaha :O)
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 5
what is love?
Posted: 6/25/2012 12:40:31 PM
IMO., It's a word which had become diluted in meaning, through over-use and misuse.
People now say "I love that song", or "I love those shoes/cake/hot weather etc., when clearly they don't.

It's a simple word, used to convey a very complex, and widely-differing range of "feelings".

The love you feel for a child, a parent, or a sibling or other family member, is a biological imperative, evolved over millions of years, because it's beneficial to the survival of the genes. (I think Dawkins outlines this concept in his book, "The Selfish gene")
Indeed, in some species, the parents actually become fodder for their young, sacrificing their own existence, for the future survival of their offspring.
Many humans have made similar sacrifices.

The love you feel for a partner, or 'Mate', on the other hand, is entirely self-inflicted*.
(*Though the poet in me, might protest otherwise, that you can't "help" who you love, and as Leonard Cohen put it; "It's love, that chooses You" )
Though it may be initiated by the post-coital release of certain endorphins etc.
It's essentially a form of bio-chemically induced self-hypnosis, which can often result in irrational thoughts and behaviour .
Again, it's likely that this 'mechanism' has probably evolved for the purpose of procreation, and the 'love' felt, as a couple, or a 'unit', increases the likelihood of the offspring's long-term survival.

There are some theories that "The Seven Year Itch" could be linked to the age at which any such offspring are relatively independent, and stand a good chance of survival, without the protection of the parent. (Speaking of humans as simply another animal species there), at which point there may be a species dependent "pre-programed" change, in the chemical balance of the brain, - the "love" cease to be felt.

Studies on primates, and other species have revealed the benefits of the widening of the gene-pool, by having a variety of different mates, so maybe the chavs with 6 kids, all by different fathers, have got it right after all!?

However, knowing all the reasons behind it, doesn't immunize you in any way, from the devastating effects which such feelings can have on a person.

Just as it's possible, using methods like "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" (CBT), to alter the amount of serotonin in the brain, and thus exit periods of depression, (with practice.), it's also possible (IMO) to exit the 'state of love', using similar techniques.

You "talked yourself into" love, and you can also talk yourself out of it. (As indeed, many people do, at the end of relationships).

Personally, I think that just one word, is inadequate to describe such a wide variety of conditions and emotions.
 *rem*
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
what is love?
Posted: 6/25/2012 4:04:35 PM

You "talked yourself into" love, and you can also talk yourself out of it. (As indeed, many people do, at the end of relationships).


Agreed.
 scareymush
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 7
what is love?
Posted: 6/28/2012 4:54:22 AM
msg 39...what a pile of hogwash!!

(as per)

firstly:

MO., It's a word which had become diluted in meaning, through over-use and misuse.
People now say "I love that song", or "I love those shoes/cake/hot weather etc., when clearly they don't.

It's a simple word, used to convey a very complex, and widely-differing range of "feelings".

some people might be limited in their verbiage but in general the word 'love' expresses deep affection and true fondness and more often than not an unquantifiable feeling which cannot be expressed by any other word other than 'love' e.g. " I love God"

The word 'love' simply conveys that all encompassing 'vibe'/feeking/knowingness which makes you feel complete as a human being..a mixture of unseasonable joy, inexplicable happiness. insurmountable giddiness....a loss of reason, sheer unadulterated...pure...and simple bliss.

Us humans may well be mere mammalians physically but we are more than some kind of scientific equation. or even prime example simian ..we are actually evolved and the study of history will inform you of that should you decide to delve further...

there was a 'secondly' and a 'thirdly' but I realised I'd be wasting my breath and energy bothering to expand further...
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 8
what is love?
Posted: 6/29/2012 11:18:27 AM

msg 39...what a pile of hogwash!!


Oh..?
Which bit..?

(as per)

Careful with the ad-hom's, now you're down to just the one profile...

some people might be limited in their verbiage but in general the word 'love' expresses deep affection and true fondness and more often than not an unquantifiable feeling which cannot be expressed by any other word other than 'love' e.g. " I love God"

An excellent example of the delusionary nature of the 'condition'.
The fact that you have used an imaginary friend, who is non-existent at-worst, and a mere abstract concept, at best, as the recipient of this alleged infatuation, particularly when it's clearly impossible for the said being to reciprocate this infatuation in any way, just emphasises, or even proves the self-inflicted element, which I mentioned before.

The word 'love' simply conveys that all encompassing 'vibe'/feeking/knowingness which makes you feel complete as a human being..a mixture of unseasonable joy, inexplicable happiness. insurmountable giddiness....a loss of reason, sheer unadulterated...pure...and simple bliss.

Replace the word "love", with the word "Crack", or "heroin", and the above statement could have been written by any addict.
It's a psychological condition, and entirely treatable.

Us humans may well be mere mammalians physically but we are more than some kind of scientific equation. or even prime example simian ..we are actually evolved and the study of history will inform you of that should you decide to delve further...

I'm fascinated by history.
Some of us have evolved, and embraced the benefits of new knowledge to base our belief systems on.
Others, less so, and they still cling to the superstitious beliefs of those early farmers. Who, in the absence of any information about fertilisers, pest-control, and air-born pathogens which can destroy a crop, attributed any such disasters to the "wrath of god", and simply threw another virgin in the volcano, or sacrificed a goat, in a vain attempt to appease the supposed angry deity.

There are still some "religious nutters" [Med. Term] around now, who attribute natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina, or the Thai Tsunami, to "God's revenge for homosexuality".
- Clearly, they think that "god" wasn't impressed enough, by their alleged "Love"..?
And I suppose that being male, "god" would surely consider such declared love, by another male, to be "gay"... and hence, 'worthy' of the harshest possible punishment..?

No, I still say love is a mental disorder.
But I'm happy to 'go with the flow', and state quite unequivocally, that
"I love adjectives"
 scareymush
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 9
what is love?
Posted: 6/30/2012 12:26:46 PM
msg 48:

Careful with the ad-hom's, now you're down to just the one profile...

Are you attempting to bait me once again?

Not that confirmation was needed but it's good to see you finally being open about your serial reporting of those who don't agree with your particular and dare I say, quite extreme and nonsensical, opinions in the main. You need to get over that.

The fact that you have used an imaginary friend, who is non-existent at-worst, and a mere abstract concept, at best, as the recipient of this alleged infatuation, particularly when it's clearly impossible for the said being to reciprocate this infatuation in any way, just emphasises, or even proves the self-inflicted element, which I mentioned before.

Loving someone or something is absolutely not dependent upon reciprocation by the object of your adoration/love etc. Some of us are actually capable of unconditional love - I'd like to see you accuse your parents (when they were alive) or your own siblings (if you have any) of being infatuated with you when saying "I love you jovan"..or how about your own children, would you accuse them also of suffering from a mental disorder for daring to say such a thing to you?

Replace the word "love", with the word "Crack", or "heroin", and the above statement could have been written by any addict.
It's a psychological condition, and entirely treatable.

Sure...have you ever known someone who was addicted to either heroin or crack? It's a good thing if you have never known someone who is that desperate and sad...not everybody on this planet suffers with such needy personalities, I don't know about the drug Crack but I do know that Heroin according to sufferers of heroin addiction is no supplement for love - the feel good factor dissipates shortly after the first high, and all the sufferer knows after that is that he or she is just simply dependent on obliterating the pain...

True love is not about getting a fix to sustain you in the short term till your next fix...love is what it is..and exactly as I described previously.

I'm fascinated by history.
Some of us have evolved, and embraced the benefits of new knowledge to base our belief systems on.
Others, less so, and they still cling to the superstitious beliefs of those early farmers. Who, in the absence of any information about fertilisers, pest-control, and air-born pathogens which can destroy a crop, attributed any such disasters to the "wrath of god", and simply threw another virgin in the volcano, or sacrificed a goat, in a vain attempt to appease the supposed angry deity.

Ha....you have no clue about history or evolution otherwise you wouldn't have written the above.
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 10
what is love?
Posted: 7/1/2012 4:49:00 AM
@ Freya:

Jo van msg 39...CBT (or similar) can be used to exit the state of love???????....Really?? 
Love is...a chemical reaction indeed – just like any emotion – but quite often confused with lust....

Yes, I believe that to be the case, that a 'modified' form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can alter the thought processes, which result in feelings of love.
(And here, I'm only talking about "acquired love", the kind you develop for a person unrelated to you, and not the "genetic love" which you feel for a relative, which I'll address more, in answer to another post.)

Are you attempting to bait me once again? Not that confirmation was needed but it's good to see you finally being open about your serial reporting of those who don't agree with your particular and dare I say, quite extreme and nonsensical, opinions in the main. You need to get over that.

"Baiting you" has never been necessary to prompt your attacks, you seem to have made your mind up, before a word has been written, as many other posters might also know. If I were to report people for simply disagreeing, I would have to report the vast majority, as I'm well aware that some of my views may not be widely held, (Yet.), but that doesn't invalidate their merit, or make them any less worthy of consideration.

Loving someone or something is absolutely not dependent upon reciprocation by the object of your adoration/love etc. Some of us are actually capable of unconditional love

I know! See: "Stalking".
It's entirely possible for people to convince themselves they "love" a person they've never met, or even spoken to. Indeed, it's all too common. It happens all the time with "celebrities" of various 'flavours', footballers, film-stars, and 'pop-stars', and the lady on the meat-counter, at the Co-Op.
As I said, this condition is entirely treatable.

- I'd like to see you accuse your parents (when they were alive) or your own siblings (if you have any) of being infatuated with you when saying "I love you jovan"..or how about your own children, would you accuse them also of suffering from a mental disorder for daring to say such a thing to you?

You've raised an interesting point. The "love" you feel for a family member, is entirely different to the love you convince yourself you feel, for a partner. If it isn't, then clearly there are serious problems.
That's one of the reasons why I said earlier, that a single word, to encompass a variety of entirely different situations, was inadequate, and why I used the word 'infatuation', to differentiate between the two.
(If any of this is going 'whooshing over your head', seek immediate medical advice. )

Sure...have you ever known someone who was addicted to either heroin or crack? It's a good thing if you have never known someone who is that desperate and sad...not everybody on this planet suffers with such needy personalities,
Sadly, I have known such people, and have seen the devastation it causes. I won't elaborate.

I don't know about the drug Crack but I do know that Heroin according to sufferers of heroin addiction is no supplement for love - the feel good factor dissipates shortly after the first high, and all the sufferer knows after that is that he or she is just simply dependent on obliterating the pain...
Heroin obliterates all of the pain, of life itself. I've known people who were already "in love", but still fallen into the grip of heroin (together), and I've known people who have become "clean", through finding new love. So although the two are uncorrelated (IMO), they are both "states of mind", which are entirely 'self-inflicted', and the evidence shows that both are reversible, by the same means. (IMO)

True love is not about getting a fix to sustain you in the short term till your next fix...love is what it is..and exactly as I described previously.

And what happens when there's no-one left to love..?
When you're old, and grey, and alone. When all your friends and family have died..?
Is love necessary for life..? Or can a person survive, without love..?
I believe it is eminently possible to exist without this state.
It's nice if you've got it, but if you haven't...
Meh.
The importance you attach to it, is entirely within your control.
Our culture has 'brainwashed us' into thinking that "love makes the world go round".
Maybe that's why there's been such a population explosion..?
 Bassbob47
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 11
view profile
History
what is love?
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:44:33 PM
Damned if i know?
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > what is love?