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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?      Home login  
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 Aehs01
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 1
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So I thought this would be interesting to discuss, I've been seeing a girl I met on PoF for about a month now. We are not official BF & GF but in my opinion we do everything I'd expect in a normal relationship, just taking things slow. I notice we talk almost every day, usually at very least through a few text messages but we call each other sometimes as well. I spent the day with her Sunday and she stayed the night. We exchanged a few text messages Monday and then nothing today, this also happened to be her day off. Granted I don't see anything wrong with us not talking today.

I have noticed from past experience if I initiate all the conversation every day I tend to come off as too available all the time and don't allow a girl to 'wonder', not that I am into games. I feel as though some days allowing her to initiate the conversation let's me know she's thinking about me. There was a day last week she just called as I was leaving work to just 'talk' and has also done this other nights very late.

What are you experiences on this subject?

I know this will vary depending on how long someone has been a relationship, in my case this is really just the beginning of hopefully something that will grow into something more serious over time.
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 2
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/22/2012 9:01:04 PM
I don't need long conversations everyday, but a quick message here or on FB, or a text to say hey really makes my day. I don't initiate the conversations because my daily schedule is relaxed, and I can talk at any time, so I let him contact me when he has time. Now if it goes more than a few days, and he isn't contacting or responding, I do get my feelings hurt.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 3
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:28:03 PM
a quick message is great.

dont play the games most do. just be yourself and do what is right for you.
 MsRedladyTx
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 4
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:44:34 PM
We don't chat everyday, but I would not say that we are that serious either. Only a few weeks into knowing each other,but his schedule consumes most of his time which leads me to believe we have developed more of a friendship then anything. I am actually alright with that at the moment, it leaves us both open to still date others since we have not stated that we are seeing one another exclusively. Again, the relationship is still new but if anything I have made a new friend.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 5
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:45:48 PM
Op you said she stayed over Sunday night but you didn’t say whether or not you were intimate or if this was your first time being intimate. Doing everything one would expect in a relationship depends on what is normal for you so that doesn't tell me if you two have been sexually active.

Having said that, in the first part of this, I am going to make the "assumption" you two were intimate for the first time Sunday. If this is not correct, then what I have to say most likely is a waste of thought, but here I go anyway.

There are 2 scenarios here:

1: She is waiting to see how you react to her now that you had sex. Will you stay in touch with her and show her you still care?

2: She didn't like it, you were not a match sexually so she is trying to get out fo this gracefully.

If you have been having sex and this wasn't your first time then...

2 scenarios"

1: She may have waited for you to contact her since you knew it was her day off to see if she wanted to do something with you. But you never called or text her so she is freaking the hell out right now!!!!

2: She is preparing to bail. It was her day off and the last thing she wanted to do was spend the day with you.


I don't speak for all women but I will tell you that many of us prefer to stay in contact daily if we really like one another. (Beware, up coming, run on sentence) This of course cannot always happen if we out of town, on business and so forth, though I can say, in this time and age of instant gratification, the excuse of not having time to send a text, usually means they are not thinking about you, and if they are not thinking about you, they don't care enough to send a text or they are thinking about you, but still don't really care enough to keep in touch.

Bottom line, when two people care about one another.....they stay in touch, usually daily, because you can't WAIT to receive those few little words written on the screen or hear the voice of the one who makes your knees weak.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 12:15:39 AM
I would suggest Op, that your analysis of your data is off.

If I read you right, you are currently of the belief that by making sure to contact the gal every day, that you made yourself appear to easily available, and therefore uninteresting, or wishy-washy.

While that is possible, I suspect that it's more subtle than you think. The fact that you made sure to be in contact every day, rather than contacting her because you wanted to or needed to, meant that the content of your contact was without purpose, other than to be able to say that you did call or text or whatever.

Contact without content or purpose, is boring. It is also a sign of unidirectional emotional dependence. Essentially, if you are watching the clock every day, and making sure that you check in with the other person regularly, you might think that you are being romantic or attentive. What the other person perceives, is that either you can't manage to think for yourself at all, and need constant prompting, or that you don't trust them at all, and have to keep checking up on them.

If you try to stop yourself from doing this for the wrong reason, i.e. to "give her the sense that there is mystery to you," or for her to wonder of she has to work at keeping you around, you will STILL come off as calculating and manipulative, just in the other direction.

It all still comes down to the same old adages: be aware of yourself, and why you do whatever you do; be yourself at all times, and not a caricature of what you think you ought to be; and then accept that to have a good match, you must find someone who likes and wants what and who you really are.
 the27thletter
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 7
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 12:22:12 AM
I've spoken to the one I'm dating in one way or another every day since I gave him my number. We're not officially "together", and to be honest, I'm enjoying the pace :) It's been nice.

I do like the daily contact. I think what I like best about it is that it doesn't feel possessive. We're not constantly asking where one another is or who we are with; just compliments, "missing you"s and plans/reminders for the dates we've set up.

The daily contact makes me feel like he's thinking about me and that I am a good part of his day. I hope it makes him feel the same giddy, butterfly feelings I get!
 brian0417
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 8
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 8:49:22 AM
I prefer daily contact. Of course with what I do for a living, many months of the year I have an abundance of free time, so it's very easy for me to do and I enjoy it. The few months of the year that I'm swamped with work, well I have had days where I've almost forgotten to text or call a significant other.

If a girl is too busy with her life to text/call me on at least a semi-regular basis, then she's not the girl for me.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 9
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 9:14:20 AM
I call when there's a reason to call. I can't imagine being in contact every single day just for the sake of doing it. Someone calling me every day for no reason would drive me nuts.

I think compatibility in this area is tough to assess until you're fully involved.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 10
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 9:26:49 AM
I hear from my bf daily, whether it be in person, a phone call, an email or a text...we reciprocate daily. It is nice to know you were thought of, and that he is still alive and well! lol He says the same back, that he appreciates someone making the effort to see if he is alive. lol

To my way of thinking, the only time it bugs people, is if they are not really into the other person.
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 11
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 9:43:08 AM
Nope, I have a busy life and so does he. We usually check in with each other once or twice a week and then get together on the weekend. It works for us since neither one of us likes feeling smothered or made to feel like we have to talk every day. Do whatever works for the two of you and to hell with "the norm". :)
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 12
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 10:35:01 AM
At the start of dating? No.

When I do communicate I do so with precision and genuine fervor though, so everything is clear. This way even with a lapses of time between conversations there isn't doubt or confusion.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 13
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 2:20:09 PM
I would always talk to the person I'm dating at least once a day. I would also expect the initiative to call to be roughly equal, otherwise, I'd just stop calling altogether. When I'm not staying with my fiancee, I talk to my her at least a couple of times a day.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 14
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 2:26:56 PM
Yes, I do talk to the person I'm dating every day - sometimes more than once. When we first started dating, we didn't talk every day - it was about three weeks in, if I recall correctly, that it became a nightly call. At first, he called more than I did, but then it evened out so that calls were roughly 50/50.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 15
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 4:36:10 PM
The only person that I talk to EVERYday is myself, and even then, I tend to forget one or two days during the week. I then get a little lonely and clue in this next morning what I forgot.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 7:02:09 PM
Yes...always some talking daily, even if it's just a quick text to say good morning and/or good night.
 notdating-forumsonly
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 17
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/23/2012 7:22:37 PM
I have noticed from past experience if I initiate all the conversation every day I tend to come off as too available all the time and don't allow a girl to 'wonder', not that I am into games.
that sounds like games to me


I feel as though some days allowing her to initiate the conversation let's me know she's thinking about me.
more games
...as opposed to if she doesn't call you she's not thinking about you??

Simply call her if you want to. Waiting for her to call is immature IMO. Simply ask her how she likes to communicate, how often she likes to communicate and then you know. Ask if she likes to initiate calls and texts, etc. and leave nothing to assumptions and chance. Communicate.

And, yes, always daily.
 LucyT02
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 18
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/24/2012 5:24:36 PM
Begrudgingly :)

I don't really need to hear from someone every day but I'm a bit odd in my approach as I quite like my own space; I don't find it too tedious being in touch every day but as I said, I don't actually need it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/24/2012 5:49:55 PM
^^^I don't need it either, but I don't mind it - and he wants it more than I do, so for him, I'll adjust. Eventually it does become a habit.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 20
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Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/24/2012 7:09:30 PM
No I dont feel the need to always do that.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 21
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/24/2012 7:46:40 PM
I don't think it's necessary to talk every day.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 22
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/25/2012 6:52:17 AM
I find it to be very normal if you don't talk or see each other EVERY day while dating. In my past experiances, It seemed like I was always stuck up their butts and never had "me" time and my own life. Others noticed this as well. You don't have to talk every day for the relationship to succeed. To me, as i get older, talking and seeing the other person every day is a bit annoying and seems a bit needy. Just my opinion of course .
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 23
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/26/2012 1:22:28 AM
As someone else said at least a good morning text and/or goodnite text but i don't need nothing long and drawn out.

No need for long conversations.

I do contact my bf at least once a day though (or he contacts me) but is it 'mandatory' ?? No, I mean it wouldn't matter if a day went by with no communication.

But I do hope to find someone in the future who WANTS to keep in contact everyday, it's nice to know someone likes to talk to you...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 24
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/27/2012 9:26:40 PM
Even when we see each other, my boyfriend and I talk on the phone everyday (usually several times a day) because we like to talk to each other.

And it isn't a "need," it is a "want."

Otherwise, what is the point?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 25
Do you talk to the person you are dating every day?
Posted: 5/28/2012 8:17:33 AM

I believe in absence makes the heart grow fonder.


And then there is "out of sight (and hearing), out of mind."
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