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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....      Home login  
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 ~Hams~
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 2
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I don't think it makes you a player if you're only talking to more than one person at a time.

Now if you were dating about 3 women at the same time then I wouldn't agree with it even if thats normal in the USA until you go exclusive.

I personally don't see the point of the meet me feature and don't take it seriously however thats just my view.

I consider myself to be a normal bloke however some women might see me as being quite strange but its their choice and they don't all have to like me.
 Chuzz16
Joined: 3/26/2011
Msg: 3
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/23/2012 11:52:41 PM
I wouldn't even bother with the meet me thingy.
What is normal to one person may not be normal to someone else. As for the term 'player' I think people are branded with that tag if they date a lot of people ( not my view I must add).
A person can only 'play' you , if you allow them to.
I guess what I'm saying is, you will have to find your own way here, just like the rest of us.
Good luck.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 4
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/24/2012 2:23:24 AM
For me we are entitled to meet and message as many people as we like from here. I dont even consider a successful first date a done deal. I find when the relationship gets intimate, then thats a good time to discuss dating others etc. I have no interest in shagging more than one person at a time, in fact ill stop arranging dates when going beyond a first date is agreed. But i dont necessarily expect others to agree.

I do have girls from here that are friends only, for example i have a theatre buddy, and thats what we do, we watch a play and have the occasional afternoon piss up. There is and never will be more than that, so where do you draw the line?

The only sure way of avoiding a player, or not becomming one is to talk to them about exclusivity early on. And there really is no certain way of knowing when to do except when it feels right.
 badge73
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 5
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/24/2012 5:06:49 AM

What do you girls defines a normal guy? I've heard some of your stories about pictures of genitalia being sent in messages, which clearly isn't normal. I just wondered what you think is!

Secondly, what do you define as a player? If I'm talking to more than one person on here but haven't been on a date yet am I guilty of being one?


always find those that scream players etc from the profiles are indeed players themselves same goes for time wasters ....

as for sending various pictures of bits .... well i thought it was normal to do so with them all asking for genuine man, after all doesnt it prove it ..... lmao
Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/24/2012 9:10:35 AM
It wasn't me! It was my identical twin brother, separated at birth and cryogenically frozen! I always gets the blame for his naughtiness! I is INNOCENT! (angel thingy)

No seriously though isn't Normal a tad boring and over-rated and so .... yesterday? Doesn't a little quirkiness make you look up and smile? Of course there obsessional or compulsive eccentricities that are a little on the extreme side. What is normal after all? There are as many different interpretation of "normal" as there are "players" if not more!
 *rem*
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 7
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/25/2012 5:39:52 AM

OMG it's become a male/female hate-fest again !

What the hell is wrong with someone describing themselves as 'normal' ? They simply mean you're not likely to find a wacko or pervert on the first date. Also likely to be a truthful and modest type. What's not to like ?

Really, you people are far too analytical when viewing profiles !

Why not just go down the pub and meet a REAL LIVE PERSON rather than rejecting dozens who you've totally box-ticked and pre-judged ?

As for 'players'...gawd knows what it means.

A word coined by people on dating sites ?

Spot on. Whats wrong with being normal considering so many women moan about perves? Seeing NO PLAYERS on a profile immediately makes me think shes been through a lot of men. Her problem not mine. In my opinion those who scream about players on their profiles need to accept their own behaviour.
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 10
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/26/2012 7:37:29 AM
I think the main point is, that to every one of us on this thread, even on this site !, "normal" will have different meanings much the same as any other aspect of a person that we may start chatting to, whats "normal" to me, will mean something totally different in your views, and vice versa :O)
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 11
Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/26/2012 7:47:24 AM

I have come across one guy in all this lark that you might call a player.I prefer to call him a lying , cheating barrel of slime b'stard . His behaviour never had much of an impact on me .....we only went on a few dates or 'not dates' but over the three years since then I have seen how he goes about his business , and what he gets up to when he does have a girlfriend for a while and how long it takes before he starts 'sexting' and messaging some of the the hundreds and hundreds of women he has on facebook. Thinking about how he acts I'm pretty sure he must have read some of those books about how to reel women in. The women he manages to get are all attractive, intelligent and independent and he has more than a few floating around ready to take up the slack in a lean patch. Hopefully they are wise to him.


I know some women like this, too. They're only on the prowl for guys and attention. Their standards for something more meaningful and "lasting" in a relationship (or so they say) is so high I don't think anyone could live up to them, but the occasional free meal and ego-stroking flirtation from men will do for now.

Look, there are arrogant manipulators in both genders. It's not unique. The trick is to see them as quickly as possible and avoid being sucked into their orbit, that is unless you subconsciously "want" to. I've gotten to the point where I can spot a high maintenance woman a mile away. I don't care if she looks like a Victoria's Secret model -- I stay well clear.

As for your guy example being able to bag so many attractive, intelligent and independent women, I'd have to ask what personality flaw in "their" character makes them so vulnerable to accept him? In such cases there's usually more to the story than just the guy's problem. They seem to have an active interest in their own manipulation.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 14
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Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/29/2012 11:42:02 PM
As far as the messaging is concerened it's been said on here before and i've heard first hand several times that some people will not answer a message until the third or fourth attempt, to them it shows a level of interest that ticks the box to reply. Some people have a lot of imaginary hoops they will want you to jump through like a trained dog before they will give you the time of day. They like to be chased, wooed, persued....whatever.

The irony is that even though they have taken out a wanted ad on a dating site they still value themselves as a much bigger better catch than the thousands of other people on here who will respond to you, will show some common sense and don't seem to have some ridiculous level of a sense of entitlement or "because i'm worth it" syndrome....borderline narcissism, in other words genuine people who are looking to date, not looking for a dog to jump through hoops.


The way i look at it is why would i (or anyone) want to embark on a relationship with someone who from the first nucleus of our meeting damanded 300-400% more effort, respect and consideration on my part compared to theirs?



Damn, that's gotta be the coolest thing I've read on this site!
 soverncomfort
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 15
Looking for a normal guy?? No Players?? Advice please.....
Posted: 5/31/2012 12:35:55 PM
Absolutely Michaelmas ....I would hate to be considered Mr 'Normal'. I have my ways and am quite unique and I guess quirky in some ways ....normal in other ways.

Normal is a bloody stupid word.
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