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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?      Home login  
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 private-pilot
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 1
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Went on a date with a woman who initially contacted me on here (which I like and appreciate) last night. The date went well and we talked over food and drinks for 3.5 hours. Good conversation for the most part with maybe 1 or 2 occasions when neither of us said anything. We get to the end of the date and we are standing outside of the place saying our good nights. We went in for the goodbye hug but i did not kiss her. I wanted to but was having trouble reading her vibes. Is this a good or bad thing? ..................Don't be scared to hurt my feelings. I want as much constructive criticism as possible.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 2
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/25/2012 8:06:29 PM
On a first date.....
when in doubt....
don't.

Just let the momentum build up to the 2nd date.

good luck!
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 3
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/25/2012 8:18:02 PM
yeah if you were unsure I would say its best not to.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 4
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/25/2012 8:58:11 PM
If you are going to kiss a woman it has to be done decisively. Or else it will come off as peculiar, so you did the right thing to go with your instincts. Now, don't make it a habit. o.O
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 5
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/25/2012 10:53:28 PM
first date and no kiss...
and not sure..
that means you did the right thing OP.
Alot of people dont kiss on a first date.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 6
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/25/2012 11:23:05 PM
You did great OP-respected her and left her to dream about you awaiting more!! Good on you :) To many more happy dates...........
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 7
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/25/2012 11:38:24 PM
As it was a first meet but you spent a few hours together and hit it off then a hug would have been appropriate.
The thing is have you asked her for another date and did she accept? That first meet is over so no good worrying about what ifs. If you seeing her again plenty of opportunity for kisses. If I really fancied a guy I would be kissing him on the second date if necessary. Just a light peck and then let him take it from there.
 RD2112
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 8
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:53:09 AM
Definitely don't go in for a kiss if there isn't a sure vibe. There is no set of rules about dating. You just go with the flow and do what feels right. If in doubt...don't. Simple
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 9
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 4:52:11 AM

We went in for the goodbye hug but i did not kiss her. I wanted to but was having trouble reading her vibes. Is this a good or bad thing?

I always go for a kiss precisely because I have trouble reading vibes. Had you tried to kiss her, you'd know exactly how she felt when you left.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 10
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 5:37:11 AM
You did the right thing, don't worry about it. You are 2 strangers still, you acted like a gentleman. You don't want to be too foward, it will turn her off. A hug was the right thing to do in this situation.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 11
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 8:54:34 AM

You don't want to be too foward, it will turn her off.

If she is turned off by a kiss, she wasn't interested, so it really doesn't matter.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 12
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:11:39 AM
Even a kiss to me is important and I don't want to be kissed by a bunch of men. So, I have to really feel good about the guy and that we are going forward with seeing one another. First dates, no matter how good they are can lead to no dates afterwards. Maybe we had a good time together but I see him just as someone I could be friends with. It may take a few more dates to turn those feelings into something else.

Now I am not talking about a peck on the cheek here. That is fine. But full on mouth to mouth intercourse...not for me unless I care about you and know we will be seeing one another again.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 13
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:28:23 AM
bad thing..... just joking. Set up another date and see if she is interested in seeing you, if she's up for it there's your answer if not, move on. On the next date initiate that kiss with her and see what happens. If she ain't kissing it's not happening.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 14
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/26/2012 2:47:26 PM
you know what cowboy...think as you wish...LYAO and think it is nonsense, as you wish. We are all different in what we feel.

His hard, wet, warm tongue enters my soft, wet, warm mouth, probing and tasting me. That is the first time he enters my body anywhere. Yes, that is important to me and I won't do it just because I like the guy the first time I meet him.

If he likes me, touch my hand, hold it. If I don't withdraw then I like him. If we are meant to be together, our patience will reward us in the future.

but that is just me...and I am ok with that, if he is not, then I am ok with that too.

and P.S. Cowboy..to your statement

I know in 3o seconds if I would want to kiss her. And 1000o dates would not change that for someone I didnt know I wanted to kiss in the first 30 seconds I promise ya.


If I am attracted to a guy, I can mentally fuk him in the first 30 sec of meeting him too. But that doesn't mean I am going to do it until we are in a relationship.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 15
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/27/2012 12:19:34 AM
I'm with Abel and Cowboy on this.

OP, if you are attracted to the girl, end the date with a kiss attempt. Period. I stress that you give her an out if she's not feeling it. Don't grab her head or face or anything like that, and move in close at a pace she can recognize and turn her head if she wishes. By not kissing her, you're signalling her that you're either not interested in her(that's how she will read it), or that you lack confidence. Like cowboy said, I too know within a few minutes if I want to kiss a girl. And women know very quickly into a date as well if they want to kiss the man. Sure this can change over the course of the date if he or she does or says something very unflattering.

Overall, I think it's better that a man demonstrate that he's willing to go after what he wants, than to not. As long as you don't force her to comply by grabbing her head or something, she won't hold it against you if for some weird reason she likes you, but isn't ready for a kiss. It won't damage your progress with her if you can persevere on her positive signs of interest after her initial rejection. However, if you're dealing with a woman who won't settle for anything less than a confident alpha male, not going for a kiss due to uncertainty will severely damage her opinion of you.

Take a poll on this. Ask women how many of them have turned on a guy they liked because he respectfully tried to kiss her, vs. how many gave up on a guy that didn't kiss them.

My opinion, not attempting to respectfully kiss a woman you're attracted to = bad advice.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 16
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/27/2012 12:39:56 AM
I wanted to but was having trouble reading her vibes.

- If you can't read the vibes, timing is right for the kiss.
But if you must, here's a tip (only if you've had a great date)... just brush a kiss on her cheek.
If she pulls away, don't push on.
If she leans more into you, she likes you.
If she turns her lips towards yours... well, she's made it clear hasn't she?
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 17
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/27/2012 9:34:33 AM
It's not always a bad sign. I had first dates that involved kissing and there wasn't a second date. I also had first dates without kissing and there was a second date.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 18
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:17:52 PM

Kissing on the first date when you're unsure about how the other person will take it is not a good move. You did right not kissing her. See how things go next time you see her.


This right here is total crud and I'll explain why. If he was unsure on the first date, he'll likely be unsure again on the 2nd or 3rd date. Very few men are EVER completely SURE a woman wants you to kiss her unless she grabs you and tells you to friggin kiss her already. There is almost always some doubt. 99% of the time, men have to go off trying to read female body language and 99% of men are completely oblivious to it, or mediocre at best in reading it. This leave most girls wondering what the hell, he must not be interested in me.

So, if you're attracted to her, and the date went well, and she's standing in close proximity to you, and you make eye contact, respectfully move in for a good night kiss. She won't hold it against you, and you'll feel better about yourself and the date in general.
 catchnrelease71
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 19
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/28/2012 9:30:17 AM
Good, bad... It's all relative. I'm sure I've blown a few by not kissing, but there was really only 1 or 2 that I wanted to kiss. I've definitely given out and gotten what feels like the friendship hug many times although it took me until recently to figure that out.

I went out with a woman last week and it was unlike any before. We had decent conversation, but this woman was so open and affectionate that it would have almost been impossible not to kiss at the end. I definitely wanted to kiss her as she was gorgeous, but I really didn't and don't know much about her other than our brief conversations prior. Almost like it was too much too fast. I went out of town right after that date about 4 days ago and now I'm back. Sent her an email to touch base and so far no response so I definitely don't have the answer, but I think going with your gut is the right approach.

Good luck on the 2nd date.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 20
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/28/2012 12:56:31 PM

ask for her permission. Try it , it works.


Dude. Asking for permission to kiss a girl is one of, if not the top wussy moves a man can make. While you're at it, why don't you lay down at her feet belly up and ask for permission to rub her feet?

No Op, don't do this. It's pathetic, and terrible advice.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 21
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/29/2012 1:08:25 PM
RedDelPaPa
Dude. Asking for permission to kiss a girl is one of, if not the top wussy moves a man can make.


I just tried to think of anything that would be more wussifed than asking a woman for permission to kiss her, and I couldn't come up with a single thing. Not one.

Kiss her, or don't kiss her. But for crying out loud, do not ask!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 22
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:46:57 AM
Generally speaking, you could invade her space (lean in to brush off imaginary lint, etc) and see how she reacts (pulls away and stays away, pulls back in surprise then moves back in when she realizes what's up, doesn't pull back at all, etc). Google "IOI", you may get some help there, too.

If you two are meant to be, then not busting a move looks good. If you two are meant to be, then busting a move looks good, too. In other words, the advice here is both right, even when it contradicts. If you are aggressive enough to make a move, and she's aggressive, it'll go over well. if you are aggressive and she's turned off by guys in the past who were...then you never had a chance acting contrary to your nature, anyway.
 trh1268
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 23
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So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 3:36:47 PM
If your 1st date says ''i have to go'', do not kiss her, if she wants to go the distance with you, then kiss her.
 WhyIsEverythingITypeTaken
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 24
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:05:03 PM
why don't you just ask her if you want to kiss her. I know it might ruin the excitement of not knowing, but at least both of you are clear on the boundaries and stuff.
 zzumbagirl
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 25
So I did not kiss her on the the first date. Good or bad sign?
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:52:49 AM
I think it can definitely be awkward at the end of a date. I tend to like a kiss, unless there is really no chemistry ~ if there is chemistry and no kiss, it seems like a let down. Maybe that is just me..... but if there are mixed signals or uncertainty, hug. You cannot go Wrong with a hug.... and who knows, sometimes a hug can turn into a kiss? :D
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