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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Never been in love??      Home login  
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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 2
Never been in love??Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Run...little kids get crushes in kindergarten...elementary school, high school, college, as a young adult...

I know u r a Christian, read proverbs, or better yet, song of songs...

A nice man neverin love can be a great friend, but if u want love & marriage or just to date...

like I said, read song of songs, get out your concordance & look up love & marriage etc.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 3
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History
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:33:45 AM
Not enough information to determine either way.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 5
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/1/2012 1:19:19 PM
Did you ask further clarifying questions? Like how long were these relationships with the women he was apparently not even in love with?

Sometimes in looking back, I question what I actually felt. Especially after feeling something deeper for someone else. When young there were times that I thought I was in love, only to later realize that it was mere infatuation and fantasy based thinking at play. But I wouldn't say I had a relationship with someone I was not in love with.

He made a very revealing statement, one I personally would follow up on.
 Tristle
Joined: 9/11/2010
Msg: 6
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/1/2012 3:46:50 PM
being in love is a wonderful feeling. I hope that this young man finds love
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 7
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:11:02 PM
We were in a relationship for 3yrs and this man could never tell me he loved me or even show love and affection. I say run!
----------------------
That's sucks. I would not stay in a relationship with a female that could not express or tell me that she loves me.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/1/2012 5:18:23 PM
Did ya ask him what he thought "love" was???? How about you OP,,,what do YOU define "love" as???? I know quite a few people that fall in and out love more than they change their panties. Notice I said panties,not underwear????? Everyone's definition of "love" is a little different, one reason being, is that it's a emotion, a very personal one.

The people I "love" I would kill for, or at the very least, die for. Seriously.
 J_bird61
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 9
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/1/2012 9:16:04 PM
I think you need to find out what his definition of love might be to get an answer to your question.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 12
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/2/2012 9:15:11 AM

Walt- I never met a man that I would die for, so I guess by your definition I have never been in love either. But, I would die for God, my parents, and my siblings


So you have been in "love" cause you just told us God,your parents and siblings are what you would die for. How about him,since he's into the church also????? Ask him.
 shy2anne
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 14
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/2/2012 12:33:56 PM
should i say, i am 58 and have never been in love?
maybe he has a different definition of loving people and being in love.
certainly i loved my ex of 25 years. but i was so young when we got together. what did i know of love?
he was abusive. how do you love someone like that?
i love many people, but have not found a one that i can say i am in love with. yet :)
also, i don't believe one can "fall in and out of love". if you are in love with someone, that is for always. and you wouldn't be on POF.
maybe he is thinking along those lines.
at least it would be interesting to talk about what he means when he said that.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 15
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/3/2012 2:45:59 AM
I know people that have never been in love. Some people marry those that they are not in love with for instance.
He may prefer a different type of love, more platonic or brotherly. Being in love does not last and can cause us to make very foolish choices. So if he is level headed about it all then why would it be a dealbreaker? As long as he can show affection and kindness, friendship and you are compatible, is that not enough?
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 16
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/3/2012 3:07:06 AM
I've had crushes, but I don't think it counts as being "in love" unless they love you back. I could be wrong, and some people say that I am, but I don't feel like that is wrong.
 FatBottomGirI
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 17
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:56:16 AM
I am 33 and have never been in love. I have had long term relationships, have cared for the person, but have never fallen in love. He, like myself be the type of person who will fall in love only once, or his in love gene is broke (also a possibilty for me).
 Mr_Nonchalance
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 18
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Never been in love??
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:34:26 PM
love is overrated and something that is defined by society through romance novels,movies and cheesy holidays.society is in love with the idea of love and any relationship that is going well for that moment gets the love label. anybody who says they have not been in love i would think have high standards so they are not quick to fall in love because society says its something you feel ,because your in a great relationship atthe moment.i would be more worried about the person who says they have been in love 4-5 times yet they fell out of love because something the person did or the moment of bliss did not last.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 19
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:58:19 AM
That is unfair to presume.

Some people can be in a marriage/relationship for years, but they were not able to love, because of reasons you and I do not understand.

He may want to be in love but won't let himself feel so deeply someone until he knows he is loved by them. Maybe that has not happened yet.

Please do not be skeptical. Talk to him. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 20
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/4/2012 3:20:22 AM

How is that? After, hearing this, I have become skeptical about him. I'm wondering if he is even capable of becoming emotionally connected to someone. What are your thoughts?


Lol, there's plenty of people who hop in and out of relationships claiming to be in love with everyone one of them. I bet if he said he loved every person he was with, you would still be skeptical. Another thing how does one know when they are in love, My thoughts plenty of folks don't know what the hell it is.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 21
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History
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:46:59 PM

I don't think there is such a thing as being "in love". That would imply that you could suddenly fall "out of love" and I don't believe that's possible either. If you love someone you love them. You might not be able to live with them or be around them but you still love them. The opposite of love is hate and the opposite of both of those is indifference. Well my relationships have never been indifferent. I loved them or I ended up hating them. If people think love is a warm fuzzy feeling you get from being with someone that isn't love. Since you are a religious girl I would read the verse about "love is patient" "love is kind", etc. I don't remember the exact book and chapter of that one but I could almost repeat it word for word. THAT is love. If he didn't feel that for anyone then no, he probably has never "loved" anyone.


I agree to a great extent, as for me "in love", much like hapiness, exists in moments rather than as a state of being. Although I don't believe that one "falls" either in or out of love, I do believe that those who seek to be in love are more often than not never satisfied & that contentment is highly underrated. In any case, I would guess it would depend on what his particular definition of being in love is. Surely one can love without being IN love, if their definition of such is consistent with that state. His statement wouldn't cause me personally to make a decision as far as whether or not to continue a relationship. I would more likely store it in my memory & revisit the issue of love/in love somewhere along the road, when it became important and applicable.
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 22
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:03:48 PM
"I'm wondering if he is even capable of becoming emotionally connected to someone."

Maybe he's never found anybody he would love, but you run away now and don't even ask him why. The vast majority of the women on this site don't seem to be good for much else than inventing "red flags" and running. Join the school. (That's a collection of fish all going the same way and doing the same thing.)
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 23
Never been in love??
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:13:50 PM
"Some people can be in a marriage/relationship for years, but they were not able to love, because of reasons you and I do not understand.

He may want to be in love but won't let himself feel so deeply someone until he knows he is loved by them. Maybe that has not happened yet.

Please do not be skeptical. Talk to him. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate."

onewayoranuther, you are beautiful beyond belief, and that has nothing to do with your picture, which is also very nice. What he needs to do is meet someone like you; if he wouldn't love then his excuse for a heart is made of rotten wood.

I just got to learn to say what I mean.
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