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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > spoiled by anal?      Home login  
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 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 1
spoiled by anal?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Last girlfriend real upset when i couldnt close the deal when i was with her. I mentioned that it was becoming increasingly difficult to finish when i was with a woman, but was able to finish the last several times w anal sex.
I didnt ask her to indulge, simply stated a fact. She sed she felt she was inadequate, a poor lover if she cud not get me to finish with anything else but anal. She sed anal was not an option, and ended the relationship. She claims i was spoiled, and will never be satisfied by anything else. Really??!!
i'm guessing headed into middle age may be a reason for delayed O, dont know. I stay hard for a long time, not an issue.
so, two questions;
A. am i spoiled?
B. anybody else have trouble sealing the deal?
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 2
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:28:40 PM
You didn't lose your erection, so was it a matter of not having enough stamina? This sounds like a good thing and a great opportunity to change positions several times to make sure your pushing all the right buttons.
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 3
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:40:03 PM
not a stamina thing, i was still goin strong long after she was tired. I always prided myself in pleasing her, a little surprised she would take such offense.
 bullie62
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 4
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:42:48 PM
You're 49 and can't type out orgasm and cum?

OK back to your "problem"..... Sounds to me as though you haven't tried other options to "seal the deal"... ugh, that just hurts to type.... You can't CUM unless you have anal. Bullshit. You're just not trying other positions, options, etc...

Get creative. Nothing wrong with anal, if the woman is into it, but using it as an excuse to get in there sounds like just that... an excuse for some good ole ass fvcking. Offer the lady some other options.... keep your attention on HER pleasure, since you say you can sustain for a long period of time... and use your imagination! Use her body! Be an artist with your hands, tongue, d*ck..... PAINT A SEXUAL PICTURE!! Use toys, etc.... 'cause to ME this doesn't sound like a guy who needs an ass to cum, it sounds like you're distracted. So distract yourself with her body, with her pleasure.

*ugh.... So hard, no pun intended, to read about such "problems"....



bullie~
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 5
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:45:16 PM
if you think you can only get off by anal........then that will be your result.

explicit questions here.......but........is the difference in the "tightness" for you?
do you use a very tight grip when you masturbate?
some men will "desensitize" themselves to a normal vaginal grip if they basically train themselves to orgasm with a manly grip......and anal (usually) is a tighter fit.

lay off the self loving for a bit and see if you can get there with regular intercourse.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 6
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:48:45 PM
is vajj not tight enough for you? or is it a mental thing that you are getting off on?
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 7
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:50:44 PM
trust me, i put plenty of energy, creativity, attention into our sex. That's why i suspect it may have been an excuse/cover for something else she didnt want to talk about. I have never used my inability to CUM as leverage for anal sex
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 8
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:59:34 PM
I'm not understanding this.

You told your last girlfriend ...

I mentioned that it was becoming increasingly difficult to finish when i was with a woman, but was able to finish the last several times w anal sex.


And now you say ...

I have never used my inability to CUM as leverage for anal sex


This does sound like you are telling her that this is what you want.
It sounds like this is something that she doesn't want to participate in,
You say ...


That's why i suspect it may have been an excuse/cover for something else she didnt want to talk about.


I don't see that.

To me it sounds like you wanted anal sex.
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 9
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:10:51 PM
i never asked for anything except to please her. I am ok with sex without an orgasm. she took it personally, asked me how i was able to climax last several times, i told her.
yes, i enjoy anal sex, but am not gonna bring it up, much less force the issue
 snowstorm22
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 10
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:14:47 PM
I love getting ****ed in the ass!!
 jennink26
Joined: 3/11/2012
Msg: 11
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:19:57 PM
Is she not that tight? Or is it just a mental hang up of yours?
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 12
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 8:58:57 PM

so, two questions;
A. am i spoiled?

Not that I can see, but I’m irrelevant. She thought so, or feared so, at least that’s the word she used. Or misused, in my opinion.

We say someone’s spoiled when they develop a skewed sense of their own entitlements due to being over-indulged. That’s quite different from being offered anal in the past when you couldn’t orgasm vaginally (I know, that doesn’t sound right), specially when you’ve already pleased your lover, and especially if she enjoys anal too.

But your girlfriend over-reacted, started ‘catastrophizing’, thought your sex-life together was doomed, went into a tailspin of self-blame, compared herself to women who can offer anal and felt inadequate.

There was nothing left for her to do but a) fess up to her own feelings and start the messy business of sorting them out, or b) blame you for being spoiled. Easy-peasy.

Or c) she could join POF and start a thread herself about men who insist on anal or threaten to leave. We’d have you drawn and quartered by now you ungrateful conniving azz-fukker. Oh wait, we already do. Heh-heh. Nevermind.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 13
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 10:50:50 PM
Op,do you ever consider the woman you're with and what SHE may like?
It's a 2-way street and you're sounding quite inconsiderate/selfish to me,too and using the "only close the deal with anal" as an excuse coz that's what YOU want!
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 14
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/1/2012 11:26:25 PM
There's just something totally foul about the words "anal" and "spoiled" in the same sentence.
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 15
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 6:12:19 AM
Daang girl. I am being sincere in my answer because from doggie style anal its very much removed frombeing personal. No real interaction from it being a female and you dont really have to look at the person so no emotional intimacy. So you can block out it being a girl. Don get me wrong. I love doggie (not anal) but I still want missionary because I love seeing my man and feeling intimate. So maybe you dont want closeness with her like you might be hiding the fact that youre just not into her (or girls) and maybe thats why she really broke up with you. And Id get tired of anal.thats just odd to me. Maybe she just knows youre gay??


Vvvvvv no no no. Just saying HE said he can only cum from anal. Has problems cumming with women suggesting he has problems cumming in a vagina so.... he may be gay.now whether its from her not being tight or his lack of interest in her or cumming with the part that makes her female is a problem for the girl. So maybe he would like a man better or find a girl who doesnt want vaginal sex.

Why would our answers be dumb? HE NEVER MENTIONED KISSING ETC. youre reading more into this than us.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 16
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 6:29:26 AM
lol @ the dumbshits associating this with homosexuality.

Homosexuals kiss and perform oral sex on each other, too, does that make a man gay for doing the same to a woman?
 fall-blossom
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 17
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:51:31 AM

lol @ the dumbshits associating this with homosexuality.

Did you miss this part of the post which is quoted below? He said he was able to finish several times with anal sex but didn't complete the sentence by adding if it was with a man or woman. And in the first part of the sentence he states it's increasingly hard to finish with a *woman*. Clearly this indicates he gets off with men or his penis is too small to feel normal vaginal penetration. vvv


I mentioned that it was becoming increasingly difficult to finish when i was with a woman, but was able to finish the last several times w anal sex.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 18
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 8:07:13 AM
I don't read anything into the OP's post or profile that indicates that he may be gay...and what difference would it make anyway if he is? Or to be more specific, if he is bisexual, since he seems to prefer women? Some people seem to love to jump to unsupported conclusions.


A. am i spoiled?

I don't think you are "spoiled" but it may be a combination of the "taboo" nature of anal and the tighter fit. MsMicki's hypothesis sounds very plausible.


B. anybody else have trouble sealing the deal?

You mentioned that you thought it had to do with age. That may be so, but since you are staying hard, perhaps it may be caused by either desensitization in the little head, or overthinking by the big head. Not being flippant there...my boyfriend way back in college had the same thing happen, and it was because he was so concerned for my pleasure and didn't want to cum too soon, that he ended up not being able to cum at all. He would very much enjoy himself but wouldn't have an orgasm that ended in ejaculation. Once he was able to get over his concerns, he went back to "normal". I do understand how your girlfriend felt, because at first I felt the same way(minus the anal), but he and I worked through that and I didn't blame it on him the way you say that she blamed it on you.

All that being said - I agree with thunderstorm! YEE HAH!
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 19
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 8:35:52 AM

. I usually don't make sweeping and definitive judgments after reading a line or two on the internet.


People are notorious for adding details that were never stated by the OP, then running with it.

I saw nothing that indicated he was gay or bisexual. I saw the words "she" and "girlfriend" in his post. If you actually read his profile, there's nothing to indicate he's looking for men whatsoever.

So, yes. Way to jump to conclusions, folks.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 20
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 9:35:39 AM
If anal is the only way that you can "finish", then finding a woman who understands that and can meet your needs may be a bit harder to find. I am sure they are out there! Obviously, this woman wasn't understanding enough to even "try". That or she wasn't that into you enough to want to try. Me personally, i will try most anything once. If I can't stand it, or if it's just not something I want to do anymore.....i will figure out other ways to help him out. I am sure that if she tried hard enough, she could have found another way to "ween" you off that anal finishing problem.
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 21
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:40:48 AM
Well hells bells.. maybe its me. He wants anal. She doesnt. Why would she need to try? It comes across that she should need to like it. Why?
If she doesnt want that and he does then end it. Its simple to me. But some of yall make it sound like she should do it to just make him happy. Man, Id pay money to get her side of the story. My money is on her. And that he is hiding the whole story.
so Op, are you saying everything else was good? Was the anal sex with women? (And it does matter)
I can only think it ended for lack of emotional intimacy and the anal was the last straw.
 BigObigD
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 22
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 10:50:24 AM
" finding a woman who understands that and can meet your needs may be a bit harder to find. I am sure they are out there! "

I AM WITH ONE NOW THAT WANTS NOTHING ELSE.
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 23
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 5:38:08 PM
not gay, but not offended if you think i am, not too worried what others think
maybe a better question shud have been, Ladies, do you take it personaly if your man does not climax?
"Muted", thnx for your input, i think you are spot-on
n Ms Micki, i think you have something there, also, thnx for your help
 jaybee812
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 24
spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 5:51:11 PM
...and SSC, thank you as well for your input. i have never, ever been accused of being a selfish or insensitive lover
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 25
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spoiled by anal?
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:13:35 PM

maybe a better question shud have been, Ladies, do you take it personaly if your man does not climax?.

when I was younger I did......at this age I have learned it's not about "me", so no, I don't take it personally.
But I will still give it all I got to help my guy get there, (except anal!!) and if he just can't get there.......then we take a nap and try again in a few hours and that always works.

and your welcome Jay.......hope things work out for ya because expecting anal each and every time would definately
be an issue for most women.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > spoiled by anal?