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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.      Home login  
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 rainbowcolors
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 1
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
One person I've been in touch on-and-off with makes plans and then cancels at the last minute or doesn't show up. He has done it three times. It could be for his entertainment. If this is true, why would someone take the *time* to play with a person by calling them and messaging them?

Another guy whom I was supposed to meet today at 12pm cancelled twelve minutes before our agreed meeting time. There is a part of me that wants to make plans with this individual again and cancel on him twelve minutes before meeting.

Why stand someone up over and over? Personally, I would feel like a schmuck!
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 2
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Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:37:35 AM
Ummm, personally, I would feel like a Schmuck if I kept setting myself up for being treated that way. But you seem to like it, because guy A has done it three times now, and your working yourself up to the second time with guy B.

What is it that you find so appealing about it?
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 3
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:56:14 AM

Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.


Because you let him.

What is it you're getting out of this anyway? Must be something, otherwise you wouldn't keep doing it.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 4
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:56:41 AM
Don't stoop down and play games with people. You know how it made you feel so why lower your standards of behavior just to be spiteful ?

I tend to give people a second change if they cancel once because sometimes things do come up but if someone repeatedly did this, then no, I would feel that they either weren't interested in meeting or that they have lots of other things going on and aren't really available to date.

But - I would never arrange to meet someone with the full intention of cancelling just to teach them a lesson.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 5
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Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 12:49:08 PM
I allow one "error" if the reason is acceptable. A second disqualifies them completely, unless there is advance notice of cancellation and a specific time rescheduled. This has always been a good policy for me.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 6
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Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 1:00:58 PM
Im surprised you are angry at the guy who actually cancelled on you rather than standing you up.
You do realize that guy did NOT stand you up right?
Not to say he shouldnt have done it earlier.. but lets not forget we all have lives afterall and things really do come up from time to time.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 7
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 4:25:34 PM

One person I've been in touch on-and-off with makes plans and then cancels at the last minute or doesn't show up. He has done it three times. It could be for his entertainment. If this is true, why would someone take the *time* to play with a person by calling them and messaging them?


three times is too many, you should adopt the 1 time f*&^ it rule. Yeah you may forget the wrong person maybe there was an emergency, but screw it.
 aussiesealady
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 8
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 6:09:47 PM
Things happen, people get cold feet, something comes up, their wife won't let them out of the house-- all sorts of things.

I always ring and confirm, as I do not like being stood up.
Yes I have had men say to me when I ring them and say. "I am here at the table near the door" that they won't be there. Despite saying the day or a few hours before that they would be there.
So pick somewhere so if he does not show you can still have your coffee, or whatever and enjoy yourself.

Men are complex creatures.
I will never understand them.
I love them but never understand them.

Good luck and don't let the Ba5stards get you down. :)

With luck we will all find a man who is true to his word.
They must be out there somewhere
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 9
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 7:56:30 PM
Cancelling at the last minute is one thing - just not showing up is inexcusable, there wouldn't be even a 'second chance' in that case.

Cancelling, well... that depends, obviously I might give a second chance if it was for a good reason, I'm not gonna hold it against someone if they got in a car accident or had to rush a family member to the hospital, or even if work dumped a pile of crap on them at the last minute. Sh*t happens on occasion. That being said, those in general aren't 'common' occurrences that would happen twice in a short period of time (ie, for the second meeting time too), except possibly the 'work excuse', which if it happened twice would make me wonder if they even have time to date. Either way, the second time would probably be the end of it unless it was a 100% solid believable 'excuse'.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 10
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/2/2012 9:08:45 PM
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.

So... What does it take for you to learn?
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 11
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 4:43:22 AM
Personally, I would feel like a schmuck!

And how does it feel to keep making plans with schmucks..... "Schmucked"???
 rainbowcolors
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 12
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:42:59 AM

And how does it feel to keep making plans with schmucks..... "Schmucked"???

Of course I feel schmucked and the person has probably laughed. But...there is a story that goes with this that I left out. Now, now there is no need for flaming. Read on only if you're bored and have time.

That night I was supposed to meet the guy who stood me up I was home. My phone rang 'once' that night and there was no time to answer it and no message was left. The next day the guy wrote me letting me know he called 'twice' and then said, "thanks for stiffing me". I told him he was supp0sed to pick me up between 8pm - 9pm as we had planned and confirmed (we had already met once a few months before and had phone conversations). In the past he would always call after plans were made to say, "Sorry, I can't make it". I told him this time around I knew he wouldn't show up and decided to go out with a friend (even though I didn't) adding that my kids were home that night who didn't hear a knock on the door or a car in the driveway. Then he went on to say, "I should get a crystal ball - I am not a mind reader". I know that the call he made was to cancel, but this time around the call didn't get answered which happened by chance. There was no need to call with the exception of cancelling. So even though I was schmucked, he doesn't know!
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 13
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:51:43 AM
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. I give 2nd chances when warranted & standing me up isn't one of them. I just bait my hook & cast my line again.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 14
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 9:53:43 AM
Cancelling a date at the last minute, I might give the other person the benefit of the doubt the first time. If it happens again I move on, unless there are extenuating circumstances. Since standing someone up is worse, I will move on the firsttime it happens, unless there are extenuating circumstances. Which is probably rare. But not completely impossible.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 15
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Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 10:40:46 AM
Wow, three times? I can understand the first time , because you had no way of knowing that they would stand you up. I can even understand the second time because perhaps they had a good enough excuse for the first time that you decided to give them a second chance. That's reasonable. But after they stood me up a second time, no excuse would be good enough. So there would NEVER be a third time.

So the question you should be asking OP is why you let these schmucks get away with treating you like this over and over.
 SONNI100
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 17
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 11:28:56 AM
You must be new?
 Calo93940
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 18
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:28:24 PM
"Why stand someone up over and over? Personally, I would feel like a schmuck!"

So evidently you would feel like a scmuck if you did that to someone...but wouldn't feel like a smuck if someone did that to you....you know what happens to schumkers..just like the schukkers peanut butter and jelly..they get eaten....consumed...and you will too...can't change who we are...thats just your nature..

calo
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 19
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 6:37:11 PM

Why stand someone up over and over? Personally, I would feel like a schmuck!

Why LET someone stand you up over and over?

If you haven't even met them and they're doing this it's obvious to me they don't actually want to meet.

If it were me in your situation I'd cut them loose.
 MyHandsHurt
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 20
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/3/2012 7:26:45 PM
Are y'all just messing with each other now? Stop it with this person, or any other that does this to you.
I got stood up on a Saturday (he had to put his dog down but says he doesn't have one on his profile.) The next day, Sunday, I got stood up at the last minute by someone who seemed really interested in me. (The Affliction tee shirt was the red flag.) They both promised to make it up to me. Do you know how I make it up to me? Say GOODBYE.
This is interent dating and a numbers game. Keep playing. Discard the cards that are of no use to you.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 21
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:13:11 AM
Imagine if u were actually dating or marrying this person? can you?

Exactly.

Let me call the pastor and get this wedding started!
 Wombat59
Joined: 9/3/2008
Msg: 22
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Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 8/20/2012 2:51:48 PM
Ive been stood up lots of times by the guy I have been seeing for the last 3 and a half years - I know he really needs to work and he is supporting his ex and 5 kids but just for once it would be real nice to come before work. Tonight he was coming over and texted around teatime that as the weather was nice he was gonna work on till daylight ended which meant he couldnt come over as I we live 90mins apart. thing is - this is a regular occurance - am I being too soft - he's a nice guy and we do have fun together and although we both werent looking to settle down or stuff like that I think i deserve a bit better !! and yes before anyone says it - its my fault too for letting him away with it so often!!
 M4ry815
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 23
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 8/23/2012 4:48:55 PM
Sounds like you may have some scammers there
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 24
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 8/24/2012 12:33:55 PM
Why would you accept a date with someone who already stood you up? Let alone allow yourself to be humiliated three times??? Do not make plans with anyone who stands you up - ever!!! Once they stand you up even one time, cut contact forever. The only excuse for not showing up for a date is if they were rushed to the ER (and they have proof).
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 25
Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 8/24/2012 2:57:09 PM
He is making a fool out of you. Stop wasting your time with this idiot. Did he cancel because he got a better offer? Tell him to lose your number if he contacts you again, better yet, blow him off & don't answer his calls or texts. Delete his number. Move on.
 nurarms
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 26
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Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.
Posted: 8/24/2012 4:26:00 PM
First time is a mistake,second time is a BAD decision,There is no Third. Cut the bs right there.If Someone truly wants to spend time with you,they will make the time to do so. I Believe in say what you mean and Mean what you say.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Getting stood up multiple times...by the same person.