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 westcoast-reble
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 1
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Love at first sightPage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
We've all heard the cliche, but do you believe? If so, what do you base it on? Appearance, or is there something more? And if you don't... why?

I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past.

Let me know your thoughts.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:07:38 AM
With regards to romantic love vs loving a child/member of your family, there is no such thing as love at first sight - only lust at first sight. An attraction to the outer image of the person whom you are catching sight of. Most adults are a little more mature than that and so I personally think, this affects the hormone driven teenagers of the World.

Love is something far deeper. It develops over time. Love requires you to know the person, to appreciate their strengths and weaknesses, to develop a history together with mutual respect, kindness, support and care.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 3
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:50:32 AM
By my definition of love, there is not such thing as love at the first sight. There can be a strong attraction, lust, liking, feeling drawn to someone at first sight, sure, but real love is for me something far deeper which requires to really know a person.
 LIVE4JESUS918
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 4
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:55:05 AM
Nah. This doesnt exist
 3ffervescent
Joined: 7/1/2010
Msg: 5
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Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:59:03 AM
Did you just use the 'L' word in the forums? You could get banned for that -- seriously...

I have had an instant attraction --
it was mutual and sensational, but that 'L' thing... It takes more than 30 seconds.



[edited to add -- yes, I can say LOVE, I have felt it, and know it, and own it... it was a joke people who may want to analyse me...]
 onehappyfellow
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 6
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Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:10:57 AM
IMO there can be love at first sight but not necessarily 'til death do us part kind of love. That is something that builds over time.

I experienced that with my late wife and I can say although I have moved on - the only healthy thing to do - I still love her.

Experienced that with another love who dumped me by email after 6 years - literally almost killed me. Distraught I was driving when I shouldn't have been, had an accident where my car was totaled and I was uninjured. A police officer drove me home and I remember thinking as I walked to my front door that I wished it was me that was totaled and not the car.

Do I still love her after 18 months from that email? Yes but but I am carrying on. She suffers from a medical condition which I believe was the root of the problem.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 7
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:14:09 AM
I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past. Let me know your thoughts.

Thoughts are that occasionally someone may *think*/feel they are in "love" at first sight,
but that is just instant attraction/infatuation triggering all that oxytocin/serotonin response from the neurons.

The instant attraction can be caused by the person being reminded of past loves or relationship role models from childhood,
and may be deeply subconscious and evoke strong emotions they have rarely felt.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 8
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:14:51 AM
Op,i saw your pic and i think i love you.


You can see someone and feel instantly attracted but its NOT love - more like lusty thoughts which can easily arouse you.But love,the 'real deal' is something that can sneak up on you without you even realizing its happening and there's no definitive time frame,either...........
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 6:20:53 AM
Infatuation at first sight, yes. Love. No. Most times that the infatuation escalated to that level right away, it also ended right away. I have seen that happen with me as well as friends, some that even married after knowing each other for a month, only to file for divorce 4 months later.

There are some people that got lucky, but I don't see that as the norm.

Also, real love is about enduring not just the good times, but the sad times, the bad times and stay next to that person through it all.
 smarternudumbernmost
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 10
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:11:32 AM

We've all heard the cliche, but do you believe? If so, what do you base it on?

Sort of.
I believe people have 5 main senses and a ton of other senses that are always working to bring in information and feedback.
I believe there are tons of social mental conditions someone can be in at any given time.
I believe that some people can be affected by such to make it so they are so bound by a commitment if they make one, even to themselves, based on information they don't understand or realize, to promote, protect, project, their self image, and can make themselves feel love
Because I believe love is a tool of relationships.
It's not an organ that gets triggered, like the colon, or kidneys, that do their function and then go into standby mode.
It's not an external goal, like a medal you get if you do things "right" and can pin it on to someone else, or your own chest.
It's not a gift some external being comes down and grants you with a magic wand or arrow if you fulfill that beings list of what you are "supposed" to do.
It's creating emotional associations with someone, then creating further emotional associations, bonding, the presence of it and those associations create different chemical/emotional reactions in other situations.

So I believe someone can feel love at first site.
I don't think it's anything positive though.
Because it makes the relationship 10 times harder to actually develop since you have to still go through the whole "learning to communicate" thing.
Because you have to rationalize 1o times more things about the other person that if you were rational you would not overlook or accept.
Because if it doesn't work out, if it's not reciprocated, it hurts a million times more.
Because most (or all maybe) of the time, IMO, love at first site is a mechanism some people have come to use (not really consciously) as a means to try and victimize themselves and emotionally guilt someone else to stick around, to reciprocate, to give them what they want.
Most of the time one person feels "love at first site" (i.e. teenagers and emotionally young people) IMO it's going to fail.
But sometimes the other person does reciprocate. People win the powerball, so big odds sometimes don't matter.


I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love?

I don't know.
There are tons of vibes you can pick up.
Body language, facial expression, scent, body temperature, compatibility of communication, coloring, vibes based on the atmosphere rather than anything they are doing, taking what other people say or do creating a mental state in yourself and the desire to pick up vibes and reading ones that aren't their due to some lack of fulfillment in your own life.


Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past.
Could be past association. Could be they were eating doritos and are wearing sandals and that triggers a happy memory from your childhood and you then associate happiness with the person you just saw eating doritos and think they will make you happy, then you start glomming on other things and pursue them.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 11
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:12:10 AM
Let's rephrase that ...

"Lust at first sight".

Love takes time to grow and nurture.
 AspenJack
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 12
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Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:23:41 AM

I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past.

I personally believe we always tend to pickup some sort of vibe.

... but is it love?

There’s always the chance it might become that, eventually. Just a chance, mind you!

Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past......

Past? Pants? Yeah, something.
 bhawk01
Joined: 12/24/2011
Msg: 13
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 7:45:03 AM
From the first moment i laid eyes on my partner she had me 100% captivated, but love....no, love to me is something that develops and grows as you get to know the person.

If you fell in love at first sight and someone immediately asked you "what do you love about her?"
What the hell would you say?
No, i dont buy it
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 14
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 8:02:30 AM
Finding one's "Soulmate" and "love at first sight" are silly to even consider in the real world.

Love,lust, attraction,infatuation...etc. are all simply chemical reactions to environmental stimuli.

At least for us realists.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 15
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 8:20:31 AM

If you fell in love at first sight and someone immediately asked you "what do you love about her?"
What the hell would you say?


I've thrown this very question to people who have claimed to believe in love at first sight, myself. It ends the conversation every time.
 Abercrombiecam
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 16
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 8:23:11 AM
Love? No. Lust at first sight? Obviously.
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 17
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 10:47:31 AM
I believe you can have very strong feelings at first sight, but full on love? Maybe. Maybe those strong feeling are full-on love but you don't accept it as that.

Sometimes it's a lot more than lust at first sight as well. Meeting that person who you just click with in every way and not just looking forward to getting to know them in a sexual way but also wanting to know everything about them, I think that's what the cliche is refering to.
 onewayoranuther
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 18
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:18:57 AM
No Sir, I do not believe in love at first site. I believe in strong attraction which can lead to strong affection.

Love at first site is too often confused with desire.


"I personally believe that, at times, we do tend to pickup some sort of vibe... but is it love? Or is it something about the individual that has triggered something in our past"


This is something I have written a book about and is an entirely different matter.
 DeborahC56
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 19
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Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:28:36 AM
No way do I beleive in love at first sight. Love comes with time to find out how true a person they are. We all show our very best when we first meet. There are so many other dimentions to a person than the initial attraction.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 20
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Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 11:33:57 AM
Some people do seem to have that, they looked across a room and said I'm going to marry that one, did and stayed together for a gazillion years but I also agree there are way more that think that and figure out months or years later it was just hormones.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 21
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 12:54:03 PM
Have you ever really disliked someone you just met? There's just 'something about them' that makes you want to be anywhere but near them?

What is so strange about the opposite occurring, no matter what we call it?

It hasn't happened to me, but I know that it has happened for some people. I think it has more to do with soul/spirit than intellect or anything else. Jmo 'n all.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 22
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 1:11:40 PM
I believe in love at first sight.
I also believe in dislike at first sight.
Sometimes there is just no explanation.

I also believe people have their own definitions
of what love is. Sort of like art and music and choice
of books, I believe love is a personal thing and really
doesn't rely on nor needs anyone else's definition to
exist.

I also believe that love at first sight, like all love,
is not guaranteed to be reciprocated. Which is just
another reason why sometimes love sucks.
 fillyphilly
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 23
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 1:36:07 PM
It happened to me so yes I believe it. And I loved him forever even when we had both moved on. It took years for me to stop thinking about him every day and he would call out of the blue for years and years. It was kind of like meeting that part of myself that was missing. I tend to be cynical so had I not experienced it I would dismiss it out of hand. But it was one of the most beautiful things in my life.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 24
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Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:33:52 PM
This one is much like so many "believe in" things.

That is, I have yet to have experienced or witnessed it yet, but I am quite willing to allow it to exist in the world.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 25
Love at first sight
Posted: 6/4/2012 4:45:25 PM
If there is love at first sight, does that mean you can fall in instant love with someone you find physically unattractive? If you consider someone very ugly or too obese for your liking (or both), can you fall in love with that person at first sight? If so, how does that work?
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