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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How long do you date before you become exclusive?      Home login  
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 quelinda007
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 1
How long do you date before you become exclusive?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I've been dating a man that I met on POF for 3 months now . We spent a lot of quality time together and has brought me around his friends, co -workers and family. He pursues me often ...spending his weekends with me, phone calls, texts, etc.I haven't dated anyone since I have met him by choice but I have noticed that he logs on to POF about once every 2 weeks or so.

At what point should I ask wether he is still seeking to date other people and if so should I mention that I have seen him online? I really like him ...I'm ready to put my eggs in 1 basket . I'm scared to come off like a needy chick.Not sure how to approach this or if I should just wait for him to bring up this topic? SOS !HELP!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 2
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How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:18:25 PM
If you know how often and when this man of yours is on, then you are on, and he could very well be thinking the same thing that you are........so, where is the open communications and asking?

Are you two bedding each other? If so, then it is logical for many reasons, especially safety, to ask to be exclusive. You might care about him, and enjoy him, but you do not, or should not, want to to have to bed all those others that might have been with him and you do not know about. Ask to mutually get tested, and to be exclusive......and let him get on line all he wants.....just as long as you know who he is with and where he hangs his shorts.....;)

cd
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 3
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How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:41:37 PM
If 2 people like each other and express that to each other they usually want to be exclusive. To make sure you are both on the same page TALK about it and clarify your intentions and then discuss if you still will be talking to others on POF. Sometimes couples still go to the POF parties and talk on the Forums.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 4
How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:56:54 PM
I would ask him about his Pof account, but of course you also have one. Isn't it likely he has also seen you online? What will you tell him about your account if he asks?

Maybe send him a PoF msg and ask if you should keep meeting like this? Make it a sort of joke to see what he says.

Doesn't sound like he has time to date anyone else.
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 5
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How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/6/2012 9:21:57 PM
I dont feel there is a set time.. but considering how long you have been dating I would say you should have that conversation now.
Best of luck :)
 the27thletter
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 6
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How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/7/2012 1:28:53 AM
Well, the first thing I have to say is that 3 months is quite a while! I was getting to the point with the guy I am seeing about asking him if we had crossed the line into Boyfriend/Girlfriend Land after 1 month. This week he introduced me as "my girlfriend" to his friends, and I texted him on it. I told him that I'm happy to know and that I'd change my facebook status if I had an active account.
I don't check his POF account. I sign on here now solely for the forums. He has never asked me about it. I'd be more than willing to tell him about it if he does. Honestly, I'll probably offer the information at some point... I'm pretty direct with stuff. I don't feel like coming here is wrong, so there's nothing to defend.

If you're curious, you should ask him. There are different ways of wording it. My approach would be something along the lines of:
"I really like my time with you, it's looking like it's working out and I'd like to be your girlfriend if you'd want to be my boyfriend."
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 7
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How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/7/2012 9:05:21 AM
I agree with all that say...you should have the "exclusive" talk with him. Communication is the # 1 key to any relationship...if it doesn't exist, then there is no "relationship". However, if I may suggest hun, do not "assume" that since he's still logging onto this site, that his interests are still floating around; Many people, including myself, keep in contact w/friends on here and/or enjoy reading & posting on the forums here...and that's all the activity there is. I would "ask" him though if he's "keeping his options open" on here though.
Good luck & God bless ;)
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 8
How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/8/2012 5:38:37 PM
Exclusivity? As soon as both parties agree to it.
 quelinda007
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 10
How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/10/2012 6:37:29 PM
Good idea ;) lol!
 quelinda007
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 11
How long do you date before you become exclusive?
Posted: 6/10/2012 6:50:00 PM
So , I had the "talk" with him about being exclusive. Everything went very well. We both are on the same page as far as not dating other people and have the same goals relationship wise for the future!
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